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Lee - he/him - >18

ⓘ This user believes in transandrophobia & supports all trans, nonbinary, and intersex peoples’ right to discuss their experiences.

#I’m getting notes pretty frequently now so I figure I might as well

Part of my job is opening random books and checking inside for major damages. And today I ended up opening a kids’ book on pride celebrations and STORMÉ DELARVERIE WAS MENTIONED!!!!!!!! Right beside Marsha P Johnson!!! The sheer joy I experienced. Unquantifiable

#of course I could make this into a point about the constany erasure of transmasculine history but like.#this is soooo good.#I’m very very very happy.#and also a child he/himmed me. which has never ever happened before by anybody who I didn’t tell my pronouns to.#just a really good day all around.

Genuinely infuriating to have to play nice with people calling you lucky for being born with a uterus as if that doesn’t immediately make you property of your imagined future husband and make your access to medicine worse and cause you years of horrible pain and also force you to live with the knowledge that your life could at any point be ruined and--

#it is genuienly more akin to being born with a bomb inside of you than anything good or positive.#one of the worst things that could possibly happen to anyone happens to you? congrats! it very realisticaly could get worse!#and even if that never happens you still have to piss in a cup every time you go to the er before they’ll give you fucking pain meds and yo #ll still receive medical care with attention going towards your hypothetical future husband’s baby moreso than your desires or needs.#like the trauma of growing up knowing that everyone expects you to go through body horror bullshit at LEAST once #is just not comparable to the (very real and valid) pain of not being able to get pregnant.#for the same reasons it Would Not Be Appropriate for me to approach a breast cancer survivor and talk about how LUCKY they were to be able #o get a double mascectomy.#obligatory “pregnancy is not inherently bad etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.”

wayfinders-coven

Many of y’all don’t know what tone policing is and that’s embarrassing.

Tone policing is when someone ignores your argument because you were emotional about it. It is not tone policing to ask someone to reflect on / update their words while sympathizing with your point, because the words you said are materially harmful in some way.

For example: It is materially harmful to paint people as being transandrophobic because they aren’t transmasc, that’s similar to how the TRFs and radfems and incels happened. The people asking or suggesting that you try naming the group by action (transandrophobes) are NOT “tone policing” you, they are pulling you back from a hateful pipeline that if you aren’t careful, you will entrench yourself in, just like those other groups. You will remove anyone’s ability to show allyship to you, so helping pivot the anger is an act of community.

Be willing to accept being checked by your community, or you may not have one.

[Edited from a post reply I wrote.]

but like what if the Tranny Verification therapist decides im not a true transsexual . is that just -$300 no takesies backsies ? plus you’re a trender ? do not pass GO ?

#highly unlikely as I am basically a textbook trans if I just omit a couple of details (id as a dyke„ wish I was a cgirl)#but the fact that it could happen is. imscared #reallt loving that my country has free healthcare but you DO have to pay 300$ for a therapy session to confirm you’re trans to get hormones #and you need 2 $500 sessions for bottom surgery #I’m already saving. adding the cost on top of the lost wages for recovery.#I think top surgery is just one $500? so thats nice.#of course this is literally four separate therapy sessions to prove I’m trans enough to have the body I want. but whatever.#the price of having trans health be labeled as Necessary and therefore covered #at what point do we start fighting for all elective surgeries to be covered for any reason #I’m thinking including hair removal and personal training .#just seems kind + beautiful + helpful

Sometimes someone makes a funny post recounting an experience of being affected by transmisogyny and then I go to look at their profile to see if they have more funny posts and then they have TME in their bio and I just have to wonder . Like what do YOU think you were experiencing there

#it is not magically less bad to be harassed in public just because a doctor said you were female when you were born.#<- a shocking but true statement

Incredibly frustrating wading through so much reactionary anti-kink shit on blogs talking about transandrophobia*. Thank you for your service in being normal

*I just picked one term out of a metaphorical hat

We are warriors united in the eternal war against people being fucking annoyyingg . It is terrible but at least we have each other ….

#ty for the kind words anon <3

*cis feminist voice*: if my post about the horrors of experiencing misogyny as a young girl is relatable to ANYONE but cis lesbians I am going to blow everyone up

#“why can’t anything just be about women” because your post is about experiencing misogyny as a little girl. and frankly 50% of the popu deal #t with that at one point and many of them are not women.#I think you are probably a ‘activism as team sports’ person . because the only possible wat this would genuinely upset you is because you ar #bitrarily decided transmascs are the other team

help: women keep approaching me at events and asking my pronouns then getting mad when I ask for theirs in return

#I’m LOST!!!!!! CLUELESS !!!!!!

Waiting to get on hormones is obviously excruciating for everyone ,but an underrated terror of waiting for T is that . Every month you wait adds another week of agony and blood to ur life

#genuinely not meant to be competitive or nothing it just fucking sucks hnnn #like wdym I’m going to be bedbound for days multiple more times because trans healthcare is so slow . are you kidding.#my guess is I’m gonna have to wait another … seven months?#which is an excruciating amount of time not even accounting for the 14 days I might need to take off of work #because I can’t fucking stand up #thats like 1400 in lost wages b.t.w. . if I only take one day off and just tank the next #AND it costs money. keeps me out of work and costs a shit ton to keep pads stocked #fml fml #and T doesn’t immediately stop periods fr most people but it does stop them eventually .#if it weren’t for periods I would not give a fuck about waiting to get on T #in happier news„ two months ago I had my first of around five appointments and 3 trillion phone calls #I’m not sure if my doctor actually sent in the paperwork though„ so its always possible I’m waiting for nothing. in which case she WILL be g #oing in my note .

I’m not asexual but there’s no observable difference between me an an asexual person. You know how it is.

#me x the yawning void that separates me from sexuality as a concept.#aroallo ftw. but in a complex and mostly aroace way. but also a deeply lesbian way.#(I’m in hell)#terrible post. should stay in the drafts. queuing it anyways.#from 2025 I dotn remember the month

There’s a post I saw months ago now probably thats just been rattling around in my brain about how “double standards in favour of the oppressed are how we fix systemic bigotry”. And it just actually registered to me that people might earnestly believe that

#no actually!!! the way to fix systemic bigotry is to eliminate that systemic bigotry by targeting the systems that are bigoted.#its very plainly just an excuse for being mean to people for no reason #very evidently one of those opinions that is built “I do a thing” -> “I am a good person” -> “the thing I did was good”#rather than like. thinking about it.#queuing still #from oct 2025 also #really seems like people heard conservatives complaining about dei initiatives and went. “well they’re right …. but the team I’m on is pro #ei so I think … being unfair is good actually?” instead of deconstructing the idea that dei is unfair in the first place #^new tags

How ppl want us to write our posts so they won’t misinterpret us:

People (I SUPPORT TRANS WOMEN) are (I SUPPORT TRANS WOMEN) bigoted (I SUPPORT TRANS WOMEN) against (I SUPPORT TRANS WOMEN) trans (I SUPPORT TRANS WOMEN) men. (I SUPPORT TRANS WOMEN)

(Pt: “people are bigoted against trans men.”)

#queuing still #from oct 2025

The overcorrection people do in response to the (obviously false) take that transfems are the main perpetrators of transmisandry, where they’re like. ACKTUALLY tboys are the worst most terrible part of the community and transfems are perfect angels. But it’s said in a transmisandry-acknowledging voice so you’re supposed to just be Fine with it. What

#why are you repeating word for word verbatim the intracommunity-transmisandry take of “trans men are inherently inclined towards passionate #bigotry„ more than any other group”#like hey that is one of the ideas we are currently fighting against.#and pretending that transmisandrist tboys are this huge phenomenon (they’re not!!!! you are just only paying attention to famous blogs. and #85% of famous blogs are transmisandrist)#is directly agreeing with that.#The Enemy is not the small population of self hating transmascs who are transmisandrist.#it is. as always. the patriarchy.#and tbc I do think that self identified tmes are a group uniquely worthy of criticism. I mean„ they opt into it.#they choose to identify as “privileged class” and choose to align themselves with people who think it is appropriate to say Whatever They Wa #nt to “the oppressor” (and typically they participate in this hate themselves!!)#so like. there’s no good-will I can really extend to them„ whereas I can easily sympathize with even the most cruel self identified tma trf #because clearly they’ve got something terrible going on etc.#still queuing #from dec 2025 #haven’t actually seen this much lately but I also don’t look at the tag anymore

Why is every fandom 50% misogynists who do not care about women and 50% people who don’t care about the source at all, just that they’re Feminist for horribly mischaracterizing a female character from it

#this actually adds up to 100% misogynists which is interesting.#still queuing #from jan

There are shockingly few opinions held by rtfs that don’t immediately backfire on transfems if you think about what they would actually mean for even a split second.

“Transmascs aren’t oppressed because nobody cares if women are masculine” is exactly the same as “transfems aren’t oppressed because nobody cares if women are masculine.” Both are obviously false. If women are not punished for perceived masculinity, then how would transmisogyny work?

“Transmascs aren’t oppressed because nobody cares about micromanaging femininity in men” is exactly the same as “transfems aren’t oppressed because nobody cares about micromanaging femininity in men.” Both are obviously false. If people perceived as men weren’t punished for femininity, how would transmisogyny work?

“Transmascs are all terf socialized/need to unlearn white woman tears” is completely fucking identical in logic to “transfems are all male socialized/need to unlearn x ‘male’ trait.” Both are obviously false and deeply transphobic.

My one true wish this year is for rtfs to start thinking about the words they say and the things those words claim to be true

#like I’m sorry. you cannot be claiming that socialization is real but actually only for a certain group. because that makes no sense unfortu #nately. unless of.c. we introduce bioessentialism that states that people with cunts have soft malleable minds whereas the surperior sex—#which is absolutely not what trfs believe that they believe so like. whats going on here?#I know its just that they’re horribly bigoted and desparately trying to place tracks in front of their speeding train #but if they fucking stopped for one millisecond and actually thought about things ?#I hate backwards logic I hate “I will say whatever it takes to win the argument” I hate you all.#WHATEVER #still queuing. this ones ALSO from February

unfortunate that there is no possible way to differentiate between people who are transgender because they happen to be “an X” “born in the body of” “a Y”, and a person whose trans identity is as, or nearly as, important to their gender as their being X/Y/Z.

#queuing a bunch of drafts still #this ones also February

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