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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@dyspraxiagirl
WE'RE GETTING A DYSPRAXIC CHARACTER IN MAINSTREAM MEDIA!!!!
Apparently one of the characters in the new season of Doctor Who will be dyspraxic. This is so important to see representation of a disorder that so many people either know nothing about or have misconceptions about.
Apparently the writers are conversing with the Dyspraxia Foundation to ensure that the portrayal is accurate.
Dyspraxia: You know it’d be funny if whilst carrying this mountain of items, I accidentally dropped one forcing you to try and catch it dropping everything else in the process.
Me….don’t you fucking d..
Dyspraxia: Whoops!
This is especially heartbreaking when you're waitressing. Especially if the thing you drop is something like a butter knife that can neither damage nor be damaged and in trying to catch it you drop a tray of full wine glasses or an entire cheesecake...
Dyspraxics
Although we often look where we’re going, we don’t always go where we’re looking…
Dyspraxia: You know it’d be funny if whilst carrying this mountain of items, I accidentally dropped one forcing you to try and catch it dropping everything else in the process.
Me….don’t you fucking d..
Dyspraxia: Whoops!
Me: Hey brain you know at the end of each limb you have hands and feet?…
Brain: …..
Me: That you can control…
Brain:…WHAAAATTT???
a secret code between women: are you safe? in a contact of eyes. i’m here if you need me, the littlest shift of a skirt, of an inclined head, of watching the man who is asking you to smile, bitch. you aren’t alone on the walls of restrooms, i was where you are too. the quiet doling of emergency numbers, the shelters. the space between two women in a largely empty train station. the waiting game of two women strangers who walk, quietly and quickly, to their cars in abandoned parking lots, who watch to be sure the other leaves safely. text me you get home safe. the tally marks of drinks on hidden wrists, carefully disguised as other things ever since men picked up on what it meant and used it to target the “weakest link.”
my father tells me we have nothing to worry about. last night he sent me one of those email chains that say at the top “Safety Tips For The Women In Your Life!!!! Don’t Let Her Die!!”
me, and the stranger on the train. she is asleep and the man is asking me who i am going home to. i feel tears pricking the sides of my eyes. i am 13 while he towers over me. he reaches out one hand, and while i don’t know how she knows, she speaks up without opening her eyes: “If you touch my daughter, sir, I will murder you.” Whatever he grumbles is lost in history, because this moment I am so grateful for the existence of other people that I cannot breathe.
I am 19 and on my phone when i become aware of a 13 year old girl is smiling nervously at a man who’s saying disgusting things. I grab her arm. “There you are, cindy,” I say, and then look at the man like he is bile. “Do you need something from my sister?” i ask, and i walk away with her. she cries later.
this is the way of things: a silent, secret web. our promise to each other that despite our differences, when it comes to the wire, we become family, instantly. the unspoken promise. i’m here. i’m watching. i’ll witness.
Us neurodivergent girls need this even more than most. I can't pick up on the cues that a guy is trouble, or even that he's flirting with me. I don't know when I'm supposed to be uncomfortable with their interaction with me versus when it's just me.
I've had friends (both male and female) add two miles to their walk home or insist on paying for a taxi to get me home safely. I've had them stare down men and tell them 'you do realise that she has no idea that you're flirting with her, right?' and steer me away from any who try to take advantage of that fact.
When I was 15, I had three women sit with me for over an hour in the middle of Edinburgh at night when I got lost and couldn't remember where I was meeting my mum and couldn't get in touch with her.
I have been saved many times over by the 'girl code' and I do the same any time I notice a girl in need. We look after each other.
So my 22nd birthday is on Saturday. I'm starting a new course at a new university that I'm really excited about, I've got job interviews lined up for part-time work to support myself through university, and my manager at my summer job this year has told me to contact her when I'm home next summer and she'll put me on the rota. I'll even get some hours over the Christmas holidays.
Two years ago, I was so desperately depressed. I didn't want to make it to 21. Eighteen months ago, I flunked out of university. I wanted to make it to 22 but I honestly didn't think I would. I felt so hopeless and useless. I felt like my life was over.
Now, I have a fresh start. I have amazing friends; some who stuck with me even when I wasn't being a great friend back, some new. I have opportunities. And I'm actually planning for the future.
I know that depression can make us feel like nothing is ever going to get better, but it will. It does. I promise.
things that are nOt okay:
going through your children’s things (phone, journals, backpack)
talking badly aBout your kid to other people
insulting your kid both to their face and behind their back
“this is my house you have no privacy”
hitting your kid
compare them to other kids
• telling your kid you’re doing them a favor by providing the essentials (food, clothing, education, etc)
I’m going to say, if your child is under 10 going through their school bag to get the letters they forgot is kind of necessary, as otherwise you miss things like school events and trips, which is detrimental to your child. Having said that, the rest of this is unacceptable.
Yeah, seriously. It used to be a running joke in my family whenever me or my brother gave my mum a school letter of 'how many weeks has this one been in your bag?'
Also, if you think your child might be being groomed or sent inappropriate messages, please do check their messages. Sometimes a breach of trust is the lesser of two evils when it comes to keeping your child safe.
*gets insulted* Nah I don’t care, my mom has said worse to me
Sensory Overload?
So as some of you know, I wear colour-tinted glasses as I have Irlen Syndrome/Scotopic Sensitivity. It's been a long time since I've had to go without them for a full day.
Of course, because dyspraxia makes me very forgetful and I have a lot of problems understanding the signals my body gives me, I managed to get all the way to work before I realised that I had left my glasses at home the other day.
My employers were great, offered to let me go home and get them (I couldn't as my ride to work had already left and it would have taken four hours to get there and back by bus in the rural area I live.) Told me to let them know if I needed to take the day off (I can't afford to), took me off orders and onto running so I didn't have to deal with the screens of the tablets we use to take orders, and kept checking in with me that I was okay.
It was hell. Not only was everything too bright and giving me a really bad headache, every noise seemed so loud it was actually making me flinch and cringe away. My apron seemed too tight around my neck. My clothes felt really uncomfortable. And every minor touch was hell.
I couldn't focus on my usual 'waitress' script of acting normal, and whenever a customer did or said something that didn't fit with the normal routine (which happens multiple times a day and I deal with with only a little difficulty usually), it would completely throw me off.
I never realised how reliant I am on my glasses, or how difficult it used to be before I got them.
I don't know if this counts as sensory overload, or what. But whatever it was, it really wasn't fun.
Vaspy, I had an idea the other day. Given that the idea of changelings probably came from people not understanding an autistic child, and some autistic people identifying with that myth now that they know that, do you think pairing the phrase "changeling child" or something similar with the neurodiverse symbol would look good?
I would personally wear the fuck out of that.
ME TOO I identify with that so hard
My mum used to call me her changeling child because I acted more fae than human.
Irony is looking for work for seven months without any luck. Then applying for a job on a Tuesday evening, having an interview/trial shift on Wednesday, and starting work on Thursday.
Friendly Reminder:
Disabled people do not have to “prove” they’re disabled and never should be expected too. Yes, they may still be able to go out, have fun, and even seem “normal” somedays but you can’t see how they feel. You don’t know what they’re going through or their pain. Don’t discount someone’s disability simply because they’re living their lives.
A male colleague was making fun of the #metoo movement a few days ago, and many more (I’m one of 5 women in a department of 200 men) joined in. So I raised my voice and said I was glad women were speaking up about sexual harassment and assault and that I hoped that everyone who perpetuated this toxic behavior got taken down.
“Yeah but it’s a trend now, lots of them are just saying it for their 15 minutes of fame.” He then continued to say that he didn’t know anyone who had been harassed or any man who had done it.
I asked him if he had a daughter. He did. I asked him how old she was. She was was 17. I told him I’d bet my rent money that his daughter had experienced sexual harassment.
“That’s impossible.”
“Did you ask her?”
“No.”
“Well then, do it.”
The next day, he came in the office with five bouquets of flowers for all the women in our department, including me. He publicly apologized for making fun of sexual harassment and for making our lives harder by doing so. He said that he simply hadn’t known how widespread it was. Apparently, his daughter deals with it very regularly. She hadn’t told him because of the way he spoke about assault cases that were on the news. She thought he’d think less of her if she’d mention it. It was her idea that he should make a public announcement. He said he felt like a bad father.
I said: “You were. Same goes for everyone who laughed with you. Be better, now you know better. And educate other men that still think the same way you did yesterday. And next time someone tells you about an experience they have, don’t automatically assume that because you haven’t seen it, it’s not true. That kind of willful ignorance is why we still deal with this shit.”
He also offered to pay my rent as that was part of the bet, but I told him I’d rather have him put effort in being a person his daughter and wife could be proud of.
In conversation the other day my mom stopped and asked my dad about what percentage of women he thought had experienced sexual harassment. He said about 20-30% maybe. My mom told him that both of us had been harassed multiple times at work (same goes for both of her sisters) and that she had actually been assaulted by a groper on a public bus. I have never seen anyone’s face go slack so quickly before as he realized that literally every woman in his family had experienced this. And while I’m glad he believed us and has changed his view on that subject I still can’t shake the frustration, the anger, that it required being sat down and spoonfed these incidents that we didn’t particularly wanted to relive. This is something that women have been saying for years, but men just never listen. Not even when they’re forced to sit in mandatory harassment in the workplace training seminars.
this post needs more attention
The #metoo movement confused me at first because people kept sharing stories that I didn't think were big deals. After all, they were things that have happened to me so often they've just become routine, or anecdotes.
I used to think it was a funny story to talk about my pervy PE teacher who used to line us up with our hands against the wall in our swimming costumes to check our feet before we got in the pool, and how he used to linger on the girls. About how he used to come in to the girls' changing room when we were changing to tell us to hurry up. About how he used to use me for demonstrations despite me being terrible at sports and was always a bit handsy. When I told one of my uni friends about it, she was shocked and asked me why no one came forward about it. I told her that most of the girls in my class complained about him to the other teachers and we were told to stop being so foolish before we ruined a good man's career. We never did anything more about it because we were 12. When our teachers told us that he wasn't doing anything wrong, we listened to them. To this day, I'm not entirely sure if he was actually doing something wrong or if we overreacted. All I know is that 12 year old me felt uncomfortable.
A year later, there was this guy at my school who found it hilarious to follow me around harassing me. He'd do the usual 13 year old boy things like pinging bra straps, slapping my bum etc, but it escalated to him exposing himself to me and touching himself in front of me. When I told him that if he didn't stop, I'd report him, I was told by my classmates and friends that it wasn't a big deal, he was just joking, it wasn't like he was actually interested in me. As if that made it better.
When I saw him again at 17 at a party, he tried to get me to sleep with him. When I said no, he proceeded to try and get me drunk and spent the rest of the night following me around grinding against me. Every time I got free and told him to fuck off, he'd wait 20 minutes or so and then try again: obviously assuming I'd eventually be too drunk to turn him down (luckily for me I wasn't drinking as much as he thought I was). It got so bad I had to phone my mum to pick me up and wait with the adults supervising for her to arrive. Maybe if his behaviour had been checked at 13, it would never have graduated to that point.
Over the years I've been groped times more than I can count, I've had my drink spiked, I've had rape threats on the street, I've had guys try to take advantage of me not understanding what they're asking me to get me to go somewhere isolated with them. I've thankfully never been assaulted, but that's in part due to the fact that I have amazing friends who keep me safe when I misread social cues.
Honestly I'm not sure if these things even count as sexual harassment. I've been told so many times told I'm overreacting, or had people say that it's my fault for putting myself in these situations; yet I've also seen people coming forward about similar things.
I think it's just ingrained in girls from a young age that these things aren't a big deal. And often, boys are never taught what counts as appropriate behaviour. So these things go unchecked.
dogs are incapable of sin
but not of mischief !!!
you’re right
Considering that I am currently covered in bruises and grazes and scrapes and very nearly ended up with a broken arm today due to the 'mischief' of a dog that I look after during the day for free to avoid his owners having to either leave him alone for very long periods of time each day or give him away; my tolerance for doggy mischief is at an all time low today.
bUT SEX ED IN SCHOOL WILL CORRUPT THE CHILDREN IT’S OKAY THEIR PARENTS WILL TELL THEM
Im the parent putting doctor pepper in my kids bottle
My mum always says it's the parents' responsibility, not the schools.
Not only is this hypocritical considering that she never actually bothered to teach me and my brother anything; it's a stupid premise as not every parent will actually do it, not every kid has a responsible adult to teach them, and some parents might not know the information themselves.
I had to teach both my girlfriend and my friend in uni what a dental dam was and how to use one, as well as other ways for women to protect themselves during sex with girls. The friend in question had had casual sex with multiple people, including several girls and had no idea that girls could contract STIs from other girls.
How many young people do you think there are unaware that using certain lubes with latex condoms will degrade the material and make them more likely to break?
Making schools teach students about their body and intimacy ensures that everyone gets the information necessary to protect themselves.
