[weterpete]

Um no I'm pretty sure those are both switches

[spookyscarysnails]

[kosmogrl]

[pinkbeetroot]

[shortwaveradioenthusiast]

[kingedwardsapphires]

Me stepping out of the optometry office after slamming four lokos with the doctor and immediately meeting the love of my life (but I have social anxiety)

[jelloapocalypse]

[medusadyke]

tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website

[princessnijireiki]

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[boringkate]

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

[paradigm-adrift]

I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.

Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.

[terramythos]

holy shit this person in the notes

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Anyone got that comic about making up a strawman to make a point and then turning around and the strawman is standing there

[benbrusque]

This one?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Thanks

[psshaw]

[lilifred]

everyone's talking about the ibs/autism haha funny comparison thing while I'm still stuck on the concept that hamsters exist in the wild. like naturally

tf do you mean they're a wild creature. you find those ankle-biters at the pet store

[psshaw]

Not a biologist, but the evolution of mammals is way more granular than you might expect. Humans are the sole surviving species of the genus Homo, which was a real party before the other ones went extinct. You're in for a fun time.

Domestic cats are believed to be domesticated not from tigers, but from the African wildcat:

Which evolved to be small just because it's sometimes more useful to be small.

And no, hamsters are not off-brand rats. They're part of the rodent order, which includes beavers, moles, capybaras, guinea pigs (yes, also wild) and lots of other fun things:

[thesecretuncle]

Shit. This dude knows an extreme amount about a niche subject. Crazy what you can accomplish when you have treatment resistant IBS

[psshaw]

I want it on record that I shit mostly normal.

[dreamycastaway]

The original pride flag and the sewing machine it was sewn on

[iwriterobots]

[girlrust]

happy pride to my favorite gif in the world

[orisnitsa]

[thetragicallynerdy]

[ID: the Bugs Bunny in a tux meme, edited to say “I wish all LGBT+ folk who live in countries where pride is banned, illegal, or unwelcomed a very I love you, stay safe, Happy Pride (red, orange, yellow, green, blue heart emoji). The edited text is in all caps, with LGBT+ in rainbow lettering. End ID.]

[theriverbeyond]

kittens are amazing bc they're like what if a wayward ball of lint was also made of knives

[theriverbeyond]

check out my wayward ball of lint #MyLint

[theriverbeyond]

update on this btw, my beloved pile of lint is growing but also appears haunted (?)

[theriverbeyond]

update btw on #MyLint we are canceling the baby-food autoship bc she's a BIG CAT now??? 1 year old next week 😭😭😭😭 oh my god. started from the bottom now we're here

[depsidase]

[suddenly-a-possum]

[skulduggery201]

[skulduggery201]

[wuwojiti]

[eggshellsareeat]

[fuckterfs-reactivated20252412]

[whereserpentswalk]

[unstickyhunter]

[unstickyhunter]

On it, chief.

[intrigd-voyagr]

one curiousity search on ebay to see if people are still going nuts over beanie babies has led to getting a strong contender for the funniest email ever

[petulantworm]

When your doctor prescribes you the generic

[goth-queen]

[my-dailydreams]

[ooo-silly-worms]

This feels like one of those posts that’s a classic 2014 tumblr post, but it was actually made 16 hours ago

[parabins]

tumblr isn’t considered a social media because everyone on here is just talking to themselves

[parabins]

yeah i agree

[tauforged]

one of my favorite things about my job that i can say to people that sounds utterly ridiculous but is technically 100% true is that one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony on her behalf and gets SUPER cranky when i won’t do it

[tauforged]

this is because she is spoiled rotten and LOVES head and shell scritches. every time i go to the tank she’s in to collect water samples while she happens to be awake and swimming near the surface, she sees my hand enter the water and immediately comes over to try and get my attention, headbutting the dive platform and splashing water at me and generally making a huge fuss.

unfortunately, because she is also a ~100yr old green sea turtle, i legally cannot touch her. she’s a protected species, and a fairly prominent individual at that, and im not one of the aquarists who dives into that tank NOR am i a vet, so i’m not among the handful of people who are ALLOWED to give her scratchies. she knows all of the divers personally, and knows that i am not one of them. she doesn’t care. she wants attention and because she’s the specialest princess in the entire universe she will do anything in her power to get it.

she also throws a big ol tantrum when i end up not petting her. she’ll stick up her head to snort water at me, slap at the platform and ladder with her fins, and then swim under the dive platform and bump her shell against the bottom — she’s a 500lb turtle, which is a lot of weight for her to be throwing around. i usually have to move pretty quick to get off the platform and onto solid ground cuz there have been times where i’ve genuinely felt like i was about to lose my balance and REALLY didn’t want to end up falling into the tank.

^ myrtle, throwing a tantrum because she was unsuccessful at peer pressuring me into violating the endangered species act

[barksbog]

look at her go

[barksbog]

this is my leopard gecko wheel propaganda post now

promote physical health (walky!)

promote mental health (fun!)

extremely cute to watch them toddle about in there

they love to sleep squished under them

apparently promotes healthy bowel movement (prepare for poopy wheel)

genuinely i know it looks silly and weird but it changed my leos life they use 2-4h a day just calmly walking

it reduced them scrabbling at the glass doors

my friend who has a disabled leo got him one and he is now moving so much more, which is good for his legs (muscles being built)

it's really cute

wheels should be at least 20cm diameter and solid, the wooden ones are great for grip and safety

leos don't go faster than this. successful wheel usage looks like Popcorn is demonstrating