Grey

she/her// //19//

[earlgreycoffee5]

credits for the banner : Miena, brilliant brilliant artist

credits for pfp, i do not know who edited the picture but ultimate credit goes to disney i suppose????

[earlgreycoffee5]

fic??!! p o s t i n g ??!!!!!!

lets preface this shit. i read a lot alright so if you see lines or sentiments quoted from something else you've seen, chances are i saw it too and paraphrased it to convey what i wanted. ANYWAYYYY SO GETTING TO THE GOOD STUFF, i wrote this a looooong time ago and recently found it again and realized, you can put any two people (your fav ships, crushes etc etc) you want in this fic and imagine them there. i like it and its therapeutic to post it really. not based on irl events sadly but just one of those scenarios that lives in my head rent free after being made there. here goes fucking nothing

its intended as a girl pov and guy on the other side though

Wuthering heights, Emily Bronte: 

“He's more myself than I am, whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same”

Work has been hell lately. Late night, early mornings, diet consisting of 80% coffee, and we keep missing each other. I find an empty house, he sleeps in an empty bed, we’re both miserable. I missed the little things- waking up next to him in the warm sunshine streaming through the window, watching him making us breakfast after we went on a grocery run while i sit on the counter gorging on the way too many berries i bought, just being near him and doing nothing on the few afternoons we get off. End of the year means we’re both tied up in way too much work and it's been hectic and antsy like this for maybe a month or so. We’re both frustrated but, duty calls and we are but modern day slaves. Then one day, on a Friday, I came home early. Expecting an empty house again, I opened the door and saw him. He was sitting there reading a book. A book. After a hellish week and not seeing each other for more than a couple minutes every day, he was sitting there calmly reading a book like we’ve suddenly got all the time in the world. “Hi.” “hi yourself,” and the next thing i know i can smell his clean soap and fresh perfume and his mouth on mine, tongues brushing like velvet. Good lord life is absolutely nothing without him. It's funny how something so small as his even his scent can make me feel probably way too much. He pulls back, making me look up at him. He smiles down at me, noses pressed against each other, and i think, this right here is the only place i ever want to be in, cradled in his arms like im his most prized possession. “Go get changed, we leave in 10 minutes.” I stare up at him in mild confusion but he quiets down my questions and just keeps insisting that this is important. “This is the first we’ve seen each other all week. All our work can wait for tomorrow. One day, one evening I want you all to myself, and the entire world can fucking burn down and I wouldn't give a fuck less. Go get changed my love.''

In roughly 15 minutes we were then in the car, talking a mile a minute about everything we haven't had a chance to talk about for a month. That's the beauty of having your partner be your best friend- he is just as invested in how Natasha’s dog has lupus and how Ben cheating on Carla is something none of us saw coming, and how Carlos got calf implants to impress his boss who he is also trying to hit on to get a promotion at work. He wouldn't tell me where we’re going but he could be driving me to a dumpster for all i care- all that matters is his cologne is all around me, his eyes are as bright as the morning sun as he recounts something that happened at work earlier this week and i'm sitting there right beside him. It's scary how home isn't even a place anymore, its wherever he is. wherever he goes, I would follow. He's the north star to my voyager's dreams, yet somehow he looks at me like I'm the one who hung all the stars in the sky. 20 minutes later, we pulled up at a mountainside. It's dark out, but as soon as we get out of the car, the darkness takes a backdrop as the entire city’s skyline sparkles like a crown, bright and unyielding. He tilts my head up and above, somehow pollution hadn't ruined our sight of a thousand stars twinkling down at us. I smiled. We came here, years ago, when this place looked completely different, when we first moved in together. The skyline wasn't as bright then, but the stars were brighter, we were younger, his eyes held more of a sparkle. But now, nearly five years later, I like how the skyline has gotten more crowded, the sky filled with muted gravestones of the stars and his eyes might have dimmed in shine but they still hold me with the same warmth and affection, even more so than before. We lie down on the hood of the car, me on his right, and stare up at the stars. We’re covered in a blanket he brought along, coffee having warmed my lungs minutes ago, my hand wrapped in his, my head on his shoulder, his head tipping onto mine. Our love began as a grain of sand, and has now become a universe of beaches. I read once somewhere that what does it matter if religion calls us sin? what can heaven possibly have that I can't find sitting next to you on a cool autumn morning? and if those words were an emotion, it bloomed right then in my ribs like crepe myrtle on ivy. I looked up at the stars, and he looked down at me. I felt his eyes on mine. “God, that is gorgeous' ', I say, looking up at the sky, cool wind blowing all around us. I can hear the faint buzz of the city so far below us. “The most gorgeous thing I have ever seen,” he hums, eyes never leaving me. A smirk pulls at my lips. He drags my mouth up to his, warmth seeping into my face, my hands, my waist, everywhere I could feel him. I was the silver to his electricity, conduction that would have put the royal orchestra to shame. He pulls back. “Marry me”, he whispers against my mouth. I smile. The cool wind continues to blow around us. The beauty of living in big cities is you feel insignificant, you're one among the masses, you feel invisible. Memories are stitched into forgotten corners of every city we’ve been to. Hands intertwined on crowded bridges, legs intertwined in the sheets of crappy motels, mouths tangled in the rain, overlooking empty roads and glinting streetlamps, white daisies popping up near us as we lay on green fields. We’ve woven a tapestry of a life together, woven from yarn we’ve collected from cities we’ll never call home, countries we won't miss, hotels we won't find memorable, roads we won't walk down again- short synapses of lives lived across the lands littering the earth. He fills my lungs like fresh air in the mountainside, makes me warm like a fireplace mid December. I drag his mouth back to mine, feeling nothing but safety and comfort with this man I get to call mine. Get to call home. I pull back and whisper against his mouth, “as if I would do anything else” 

[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

[homoslovenc]

this has a better plot than 90% of action movies

[nexya]

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

[charlesoberonn]

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

[terminallydepraved]

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

[loremerchant]

Ancient Shitposting

Now on the History Channel

[self-critical-automaton]

‘People have literally just always been people’ is genuinely my favorite fact about the world

[skaletal-deactivated20190721]

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC

[hands-off-my-macaroni]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[titaniumstark]

Me posting on tumblr:

[beaft]

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

[beaft]

I actually, genuinely think social event aftercare would fix me. I need someone to put me to bed and say "you were fun today and no one hated you"

[starbitten13]

[ebonydraygon]

#theres a thing called 'larp drop' thats essentially this#esp since when having a great time you might be more inclined to disregard your limits and ignore discomfort#(and forget to eat/drink if its larp whoops)#and then once you have a moment to yourself it all comes crashing in#source: once forgot to eat at larp and had a sobbing fit in my car that ended the instant i bit into a chicken nugget - @queerfarmgremlin

[troublepunk-ldn]

this is also true of festivals, conventions, pride parades, concerts, and any situation where you have a lot of fun with other people!

[bookgeekconfessions]

99 legal sites to download literature

The Classics

Browse works by Mark Twain, Joseph Conrad and other famous authors here.

Classic Bookshelf: This site has put classic novels online, from Charles Dickens to Charlotte Bronte.

The Online Books Page: The University of Pennsylvania hosts this book search and database.

Project Gutenberg: This famous site has over 27,000 free books online.

Page by Page Books: Find books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and H.G. Wells, as well as speeches from George W. Bush on this site.

Classic Book Library: Genres here include historical fiction, history, science fiction, mystery, romance and children’s literature, but they’re all classics.

Classic Reader: Here you can read Shakespeare, young adult fiction and more.

Read Print: From George Orwell to Alexandre Dumas to George Eliot to Charles Darwin, this online library is stocked with the best classics.

Planet eBook: Download free classic literature titles here, from Dostoevsky to D.H. Lawrence to Joseph Conrad.

The Spectator Project: Montclair State University’s project features full-text, online versions of The Spectator and The Tatler.

Bibliomania: This site has more than 2,000 classic texts, plus study guides and reference books.

Online Library of Literature: Find full and unabridged texts of classic literature, including the Bronte sisters, Mark Twain and more.

Bartleby: Bartleby has much more than just the classics, but its collection of anthologies and other important novels made it famous.

Fiction.us: Fiction.us has a huge selection of novels, including works by Lewis Carroll, Willa Cather, Sherwood Anderson, Flaubert, George Eliot, F. Scott Fitzgerald and others.

Free Classic Literature: Find British authors like Shakespeare and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, plus other authors like Jules Verne, Mark Twain, and more.

Textbooks

If you don’t absolutely need to pay for your textbooks, save yourself a few hundred dollars by reviewing these sites.

Textbook Revolution: Find biology, business, engineering, mathematics and world history textbooks here.

Wikibooks: From cookbooks to the computing department, find instructional and educational materials here.

KnowThis Free Online Textbooks: Get directed to stats textbooks and more.

Online Medical Textbooks: Find books about plastic surgery, anatomy and more here.

Online Science and Math Textbooks: Access biochemistry, chemistry, aeronautics, medical manuals and other textbooks here.

MIT Open Courseware Supplemental Resources: Find free videos, textbooks and more on the subjects of mechanical engineering, mathematics, chemistry and more.

Flat World Knowledge: This innovative site has created an open college textbooks platform that will launch in January 2009.

Free Business Textbooks: Find free books to go along with accounting, economics and other business classes.

Light and Matter: Here you can access open source physics textbooks.

eMedicine: This project from WebMD is continuously updated and has articles and references on surgery, pediatrics and more.

Read More

[cygnahime]

The Faded Page, which has books that are in public domain in Canada. Lots of Canadian lit, but also lots of mysteries and other works! I recommend the Sayers Collection in particular.

[the-trash-eating-llama]

I. AM. FLOORED.

[wedarkacademia]

A Bookmark Near the End He loves history. He wanted to write a biography of John Quincy Adams. I, shamefully, knew almost nothing about John Quincy Adams, so I went online and bought every biography of him I could find. One day, he called me, claiming that we wouldn’t work out long-term. He said he loved me but that we had different interests. “What does love mean to you?” I said. “That’s an impossible question,” he replied. I, however, find love to be quite simple. Love is the stack of biographies on my nightstand with a bookmark near the end.

— Julia Nicole Camp 

NYT Tiny Love Stories, 2/11/2020

[earlgreycoffee5]

"who's your role model?" Kit Fairfield bitch.

[mattoidal]

“Get a rat and put it in a cage and give it two water bottles. One is just water, and one is water laced with either heroin or cocaine. If you do that, the rat will almost always prefer the drugged water and almost always kill itself very quickly, right, within a couple of weeks. So there you go. It’s our theory of addiction. Bruce comes along in the ‘70s and said, “Well, hang on a minute. We’re putting the rat in an empty cage. It’s got nothing to do. Let’s try this a little bit differently.” So Bruce built Rat Park, and Rat Park is like heaven for rats. Everything your rat about town could want, it’s got in Rat Park. It’s got lovely food. It’s got sex. It’s got loads of other rats to be friends with. It’s got loads of colored balls. Everything your rat could want. And they’ve got both the water bottles. They’ve got the drugged water and the normal water. But here’s the fascinating thing. In Rat Park, they don’t like the drugged water. They hardly use any of it. None of them ever overdose. None of them ever use in a way that looks like compulsion or addiction. There’s a really interesting human example I’ll tell you about in a minute, but what Bruce says is that shows that both the right-wing and left-wing theories of addiction are wrong. So the right-wing theory is it’s a moral failing, you’re a hedonist, you party too hard. The left-wing theory is it takes you over, your brain is hijacked. Bruce says it’s not your morality, it’s not your brain; it’s your cage. Addiction is largely an adaptation to your environment. […] We’ve created a society where significant numbers of our fellow citizens cannot bear to be present in their lives without being drugged, right? We’ve created a hyperconsumerist, hyperindividualist, isolated world that is, for a lot of people, much more like that first cage than it is like the bonded, connected cages that we need. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection. And our whole society, the engine of our society, is geared towards making us connect with things. If you are not a good consumer capitalist citizen, if you’re spending your time bonding with the people around you and not buying stuff—in fact, we are trained from a very young age to focus our hopes and our dreams and our ambitions on things we can buy and consume. And drug addiction is really a subset of that.”

— Johann Hari, Does Capitalism Drive Drug Addiction?

[just-shower-thoughts]

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

[savvygunner]

[violetnpurple]

LISTEN-

[bl6ckwoman]

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

[antiandrogen]

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

father god 

[abrown16]

…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

[antiandrogen]

[ethereal-sketches]

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

[britteryikes]

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

[laurdlannister-kingslayer]

Lord have mercy….

[kumasenpai]

Bye

[mf-johnson-deactivated20190605]

3 days into 2018 smh

[kwantsu]

LMAOOOOOOO

[effigyofubiquity-deactivated202]

[lizzysarai-deactivated20190109]

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

[britteryikes]

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

[thxrsdxy]

It keeps getting worse.

[e-wifey-deactivated20201128]

LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

[ellsworthej]

[goldensweetcheeks-deactivated20]

My head hurts…

[skullprincess]

This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

[drankinwatahmelin]

who failed yall?

[microtear-deactivated20181213]

IM SCREAMING

[lukestarkillerisgay]

[hey-hey-shutthefuckup-deactivat]

You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

[shaolinbynature]

why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

[emma-d-klutz]

3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

[legowerewolf]

happy New year’s eve

[prguitarman]

I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

[majitowfoxlover]

Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

[hurleyquinnzel]

did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

[untitled42717]

Reblogging for the last one😂

[kitsumekat]

The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

[alternative-memo-deactivated202]

TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

[binkeljuice]

Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

[hurleyquinnzel]

[mysticalpoodle]

ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

[im-an-aesthetic-mess]

bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

[fish-food-s]

what the actual fuck is happening

[dickplinko]

1 is an even number

[link-the-feral-anon]

I’m gonna smack you

[insert-gay-pun-queer]

-30 and -50 have an e in them

[kurlyfryz]

Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

[anachronistic-cat]

Zero isn’t a number

[kurlyfryz]

It can’t be divided by two though, can it

[toaster-120]

It can??? 0/2=0??

[kurlyfryz]

[baconaxolotl101]

OD NUMBERS

onE

thrEE

fivE

sEvEn

ninE

[batsdotjpg]

OD numbers huh?

[the-kleptomancer]

Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

[batsdotjpg]

YOU FORGOT 5

[ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness]

DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR

[batsdotjpg]

What about it?????

[ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness]

THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

[batsdotjpg]

THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

[frogseyy]

A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y

[getinthehandbasket]

21 days away from 2020, folks.

[m-pennanti]

Please tell me I can start the new freaking decade with a post arguing about something as stupid as this. Please. 🙏

[nerdy-as-heck]

This is art at its finest

[amingethia]

Funner fact. No even number has an A in it

[river-not-a-stream]

the number four should have an a

You agree

[origami-butterfly]

That’s not even right, one thousand is even and has an a in it.

[the-haiku-bot]

That’s not even right,

one thousand is even and

has an a in it.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[muovipalikka]

This is why tumblr is the best!

[earlgreycoffee5]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[the-gay-goblin]

Only day you can reblog this

[vigilantsycamore]

Next time you can reblog will be on 26th January 2025

[earlgreycoffee5]

don't even lie this thing is the most entertaining thing on Tumblr

that colour-y thing it does when it drags

[jedthewolfdog]

upset and don’t know why? Appease the Brains

lizard brain

questions: do i have food, water, and safe shelter? 

solutions: drink more water. drink things with electrolytes. make and stick to a food schedule that works for you. clean your room. if you are in an unsafe situation, talk to someone trusted about creating a plan to get out 

toddler brain 

questions: have i had enough rest? am i been getting what i need to be healthy? am i cared for? am i frustrated? 

solutions: make sure you’re getting enough sleep on a schedule that works for you (people naturally sleep better at different times and need different amounts of sleep. if youre young you will need to sleep more than 7 or 8 hours). make sure you have varied nutrition in your diet. make sure your medications and supplements are working for you and take them on schedule. work on developing a support system that meets your needs. take breaks from things if you feel burned out, even if it’s only for a day 

monkey brain 

questions: have i had enrichment in my life? am i stuck in a rut? have i had socialization, entertainment, and creativity? has anything challenged me lately? 

solutions: limit your time on social media. make an effort to be in new environments - even if its another room in your house or backyard. examine what is or isn’t working in your routine. pick up a new hobby (if you’re more physically active, consider a hobby like writing or coding. if you’re more mentally active, consider a hobby like woodworking, bookbinding, or a sport). write stories, make art, and write analyses (if you haven’t tried original work - focus on that for a little while). try new music. try a new food. build something with legos. consume a new type of media even if you’re not sure you’ll like it (like graphic novels, radio plays, or watching ballet). take on a long term project and set aside time to work on it on a schedule (whether its every day, every few days, or specific days each week) 

human brain 

questions: do i feel loved? do i feel understood? am i existentially fulfilled? do i have a sense of purpose? do i have a sense of meaning? am i contributing to the lives of the people i care about and are they doing the same for me in return? 

solutions: reach out to friends and loved ones, and do activities together, like play a game online or walk in the park. talk to safe people about things that upset you, such as a trusted friend or a therapist, and find steps to improve your mental health. interrogate whether your religious beliefs are working for you, and if they are, make an effort to practice your faith, whether that is attending services (including digitally if they have them), reading and discussing your religious texts, or following holidays. read self help books or blogs from trusted professionals. read about philosophy and interrogate your own understanding of things. learn how to communicate your needs, thoughts, and desires to people who will listen. be active in your community (whether in community service, activism, or getting involved in local politics). adopt a rescue animal. give money to causes you care about. make an effort to learn about points of view and lived experiences that are different than your own. challenge assumptions about how you are expected to live your life and decide whether you want those things or not. express love for the people you care about - through kind words, good acts, crafts, or otherwise. if there are steps in your life you have been afraid of taking, make a plan to take them 

if you fulfill higher needs before lower needs, you will still feel bad. if you feel bad and don’t know why, start lower and work your way up. basic needs must be met before moving on healthily 

[earlgreycoffee5]

found claire pritchett

[earlgreycoffee5]

some lines in this song are heartbreaking if you imagine kit singing them

i'll dream each night of some version of you

that i might not have but I did not lose

now you're tire tracks and one pair of shoes

and I'm split in half but that'll have to do

or or or

you once called me forever now you still can't call me back

this is so kit-in-the-four-years-after-they-broke-up coded bc yk those lines where kit says he wasnt sleeping with a cold memory all those years? he grew around the indentation that theo left in his life, that he lives in the residual warmth that they left? That's so heartbreakingly loving and it's inexplicably in this song i can't explain it

this is also what masochism looks like btw

kit fairfield you would've loved noah kahan, would've appreciated the lyrical beauty and cried about theo while listening to him in those four years

and definitely would've loved to fuck him

[earlgreycoffee5]

shout out to Casey for adding another component to my personality (the pairing) (the other components are her other books) (and being sleepy)