* 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐀 ( 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ) 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 .
POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR EPISODES 1-2 .
‘ i am fascinated by last words . ’
‘ i’ve been keeping my popularity a secret all these years . ’
‘ what the fuck ? she should not have to leverage her body so you’ll be a good boyfriend . ’
‘ that kind of sexist bullshit is the reason why we have to dismantle the patriarchy . ’
‘ my adolescence would have no doubt been greatly enhanced by the anesthetizing effects of coosa liquors’ strawberry hill rosé . ’
‘ sweat builds character , boy . ’
‘ i’m gonna be okay . promise . ’
‘ after the unpacking comes the adventure , right ? ’
‘ i would shake your hand , but i think it’s best if you just hang on to that towel . ’
‘ you’ve got ten seconds to surprise me before i write you off as ordinary . ’
‘ that’s morbid . i like it . ’
‘ what are you , four feet now ? ’
‘ i literally just did say that to your face , you human frat paddle . ’
‘ you’ll have to excuse them . it’s not their fault they had everything in their goddamn life handed to them . ’
‘ you know , you might be the only person who could spend all summer in the sun and somehow end up whiter . ’
‘ is it possible to be 150% caucasian ? ’
‘ if you came here hoping to be hot shit , you best not be seen with me . ’
‘ he’s immune to fatigue . his anger is a renewable energy source . ’
‘ that is me . that is me to a fucking tee . ’
‘ and i’m in the middle of a sentence when all of a sudden , he just honks my boob . just like that . just like a much - too- firm two , three second honk . ’
‘ okay , how do i extricate this claw from my boob before it leaves permanent marks ? ’
‘ who’s this guy not laughing at my story ? ’
‘ that swan is the spawn of satan . ’
‘ if you learn anything from me today , let it be this : never , never , never rat . ’
‘ damn it , how will i ever get out of this labyrinth ? ’
‘ hard to imagine you’d ever be boring . ’
‘ you’re smart … cute , too . ’
‘ but i didn’t just say that , because i love my boyfriend . ’
‘ you’re much smarter than both of us , and much more attractive . ’
‘ but i didn’t just say that , because i love my girlfriend … who doesn’t exist . because i don’t have one . ’
‘ you’re not going to impose the patriarchal paradigm on me . ’
‘ i bought you that tie , you asshole . it was a birthday present . ’
‘ wow , that chip on your shoulder makes you look even shorter . ’
‘ i’m a bad boyfriend . you’re a bad girlfriend . we deserve each other . ’
‘ do you wanna smell it ? cause if there’s one thing i know , it’s the smell of warm piss in my new shoes ! ’
‘ gotta get a lock on the door . everyone but you can have a key . ’
‘ i have a key to your heart . that’s all that matters . ’
‘ that was so loud , it hurt my feelings . ’
‘ you’re crazier than i thought . ’
‘ that was a terrible way to wake up . how can i ensure that never happens again ? ’
‘ oh my god , you are both so stupid and so is this war . enough , okay ? ’
‘ why would you try to drown this man ? he’s a goddamn genius ! ’
‘ that’s a pretentious way of saying you want to get laid . ’
‘ life’s about disappointing those in charge of us . i learned that a long time ago . ’
‘ he’ll eat you alive and piss you out slowly , through a catheter . ’
‘ i’m with you until the end . ’
‘ seriously ? we have one nice moment and you’re using it to try to get some action ? ’
‘ you only view the world through your limited male gaze . there’s so much you’re missing . ’
‘ if you have anything black , wear it tonight . it’s sliming … and stealthy . ’
‘ i wish they would just choke on their stupid protein shakes . ’
‘ i’m just trying to keep you from getting hurt . ’
‘ i’m like a motherfucking cat . ’
‘ i don’t think i’ll be able to get their screams out of my ears . ’
‘ but never have i been so glad to have my orders ignored . that was some funny shit . ’
‘ you know what they say … never trust a man with a need to draw attention to his keys . ’
‘ we can never give up hope in the eternal struggle of the good versus the naughty . ’
‘ you may lose a battle , but mischief always wins the war . ’
‘ the only weight i’m gonna lose is you … cause you’re deadweight … and you’re dead . ’
‘ y’all smoke to enjoy it . i smoke to die . ’
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