"Fuck ableism" says the sticker on my wheelchair. My children and I attended national night out in our town last night. I had used up all my spoons for the day, doing laundry, so my kids encouraged me to use my wheel chair. I was hesitant, because most people in my town know me without one. Most don't even have a clue that there's anything wrong with me. I did it anyway, because it's time my disability became visible, no matter the perceived cost to my mental health. It's time I stopped ignoring my needs because I'm attempting to make my existence more palatable for everyone else.
I ran into a large group of people from my previous employer who have done nothing but throw shade at my chronic pain. They had never seen me use a wheelchair. One in this group, I keep mistakenly thinking is my friend. I wheel up to him to say hi. My son points out to him, the sticker. His response, and I quote "fuck people who use the word ableism". I froze in that moment with fear. This was, after all, what I was afraid of, and I manifested it. I'm NOT operating from a place of fear anymore, when it comes to my right to take up space in this beautiful broken body i was blessed with. I will no longer cower, simply because this broken body takes up a space that makes others uncomfortable.
