※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS ※
starters from jenna’s 9 most recent videos as of november 8, 2017! feel free to change names/pronouns/etc.!
REACTING TO COMPILATION VIDEOS OF ME 2
“At any moment, the cleaner can walk in the front door.”
“If you don’t want to be disturbed, put up the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign, and we’ll ignore it.”
“Have me and him beefed back and forth in our videos for a total of seven minutes?”
“Okay, I did not see that — what a little shit.”
“I’m trying not to be too loud, because we’re in a small hotel-thing.”
“I need to not comment on this feud because it’s between you and him.”
“Just gimme your neck so I can choke you out real quick.”
“I’m sorry, but that shit’s just funny.”
“I took chemistry in high school, it’s bleach.”
“Does this give you any moment of pause or remorse and be like, ‘wow, I really am gross to my girlfriend all the time’?”
“You know when you walk into your trophy room and you’re looking at all your accomplishments and you see your name on all those plaques and you’re reliving the glory days, and you’re like, damn, I did all that? That’s the feeling I have right now.”
“This is like torture. Maybe to some people, this is funny, but, to me, this is torture.”
“Somewhere, deep down inside me, I think you really like Nasty Julien.”
“You fuckin’ lick that up right now…!”
“How’d we get here…?! We were doing something…!”
“You need to get that wig on and look at 50 different camera angles in the room.”
“Did we leave that shot in a video? It wasn’t an outtake?”
GIVING MYSELF A SET OF GEL NAILS
“I found out about myself that I like to take my money and chuck it into the toilet and flush it.”
“I don’t know what it does, but she said I need it.”
“I ended up with some hot-ass witch nails.”
“It seems like you sort of just dip your brush in it and go for it, which I’m all about.”
“This seems like it’s getting out of hand already.”
“That’s what the fuck I’m talking about.”
“It’s very similar to eating spaghetti.”
“I feel like this is an incredible medium to jam things onto your nails with.”
“It’s like the fossil of stupid.”
“Do you know what pain is? It’s a physiological response to tell you to stop doing something.”
“This is some real 2008 hot shit.”
“In order to perfect this part, you do have to have some level of technique, which I sincerely lack.”
“It looks… how you say… homemade.”
“I’m amazed that that worked even a little bit.”
“Now something that I am concerned about is how the fuck I’m gonna get this off.”
“Welcome to the diary of a 31 year old lady.”
“All I want for Christmas is to get this shit to stop.”
“I’m not saying I’m the best at what I do, but I’m the best at what I do.”
“I’m so pleased with myself…!”
“I’m just gonna go ahead and say what we’re all thinking: acrylic gel is the best invention that’s ever been invented.”
“I feel like you could do this and get okay at it.”
“I’d probably dial 911 while asking her out.”
MY BOYFRIEND COOKS MY FAVORITE MEAL
“Can’t you see what the fuck I’m wearing, bitch?”
“Can’t you see I’m fucking leisuring?”
“This was actually all inspired by the fact that I bought this leisure suit.”
“I’m gonna leisure in it, which means everybody else around me’s gotta do shit for me.”
“I’d say my favorite meal is a little bit interesting.”
“While they cook it for you, you can wear your leisure suit and tell them everything that they’re doing wrong and that it doesn’t taste right and to keep trying.”
“You’re gonna cook me my favorite meal and I’m gonna critique you the whole time.”
“You can’t even take a sip without a laughing.”
“It’s just — it’s terrible for you.”
“That’s by far my least favorite thing in the kitchen.”
“Boy, you’re chopping vegetables, like, chill out.”
“You’re just gonna leave that…!? I’m a virgo…! Please clean it up…!”
“This right here? This is what we call some aries bullshit.”
“Everything that Julien makes is so fucking bitter, and he’s like, should we add more lemon, and I’m like, no…!”
“Why was that in your sweatshirt…? That’s nasty…!”
“Go away, it’s my favorite meal…!”
“Hey, how do you spell cans backwards?”
“That’s right…! Don’t fuck it up. Don’t touch it, don’t put anything in it, don’t say it needs some lemon, don’t make it bitter as hell, it’s perfect.”
“My favorite part of this is the backhanded compliments.”
“Does it need lemon, you think?”
“I’m feeling pretty relaxed. Except for the fact that everything you’re doing right now is stressing me out.”
“Watch your mouth when you’re talking about my son pad thai.”
“Aren’t you glad I picked such a simple recipe for my favorite meal?”
“I’m not feeling very leisurely.”
“I feel like someone’s favorite meal says so much about them, and you know what mine says about me? I’m fucking trash.”
“I’m gonna cry actual tears.”
“Hell yeah, we know what the fuck we’re doing.”
“Now imagine, Julien, it’s 2 AM, and you’re wasted right now.”
“I feel like you treated me like the princess I am not.”
“Oh, man, the wine just really bounces off all the flavors.”
“This is my heart on a plate.”
MY DOGS TRY ON HALLOWEEN COSTUMES
“They’re raking it in over there. It’s not like George Lucas doesn’t have a bajillion dollars anyways.”
“I’ve had it with this wig…!”
“How is this an extra small? What’s with these sizes?”
“I love you so much, but you test me every day.”
“Okay, Spock’s hair is not this long.”
“I think this is too relaxed — this is like a dangerous level of relaxed.”
“This is a lot to ask of you, bud, but you’re doing amazing, sweetie.”
“He’s a real good boy. He’s a 10/10 good boy.”
“Alright, let’s see, do they glow in the dark? I think they do. …barely.”
“I didn’t invent it, it’s a thing…!”
“I want it to blend in with my translucent skin, alright?”
“Whenever I have to see people, I have the unstoppable urge to fuck myself up in the face.“
"I feel very excluded by that product.”
“Just for men. And Jenna.“
"Nothing says ‘thanks for inviting me to your school’ quite like chemical burns on your face.”
"I was like, yeah, totally. And then I realized that I was lying because I don’t fucking feel like it.”
“I love fucking myself up. It feels good. It feels cathartic.”
“Like, this is a good look.”
“I wanna look like a beautiful snowy snow elf. Like, a snow owl personified.”
“It is a chemical burn. This is the definition of a chemical burn.”
“You and everybody else are so concerned about, like, safety and looking okay but, like, fuck off.”
“Don’t give me that look…! This is a judgement-free zone…!”
“I feel like I see a lack of people with this particular part of their hair dyed.”
“I feel like bleach is addictive. Can I get some research studies on how addictive bleach is? Because I feel like it is, and I feel like I have a problem.”
“Bleach on your face challenge!”
“Every time I go into that beauty supply store, that guy should be like, get out.”
“Just for fucking men… no it isn’t… I’m a man…”
“You have to go to your baseball game right now, son.”
“You really look like a Mii character and you just added a mustache to your character.”
“Just for men? I beg to differ. I’m a women, and I made it work for me…!”
“I feel like I look like a very rare and interesting fish.”
“Why do you look cute when you do the weirdest shit?”
I BUY MY BOYFRIENDS OUTFITS
“I am a fashion guru, okay?”
“I went and bought you some clothes, like the style icon I am.”
“I want to be dressed like a doll.”
“Let’s see how big you think I am… oh, that’s accurate.”
“I can guarantee you I’m will wear this entire outfit on 9 of the next 10 flights I take.”
“Are we done here? Cause I don’t want anything else.”
“I took your credit card, and I bought it.”
“Yo, these are soft as fuck, bitch…!”
“I wanna know what social rule says I can’t wear this everywhere I go.”
“To be perfectly honest, I’ll probably wear this all the time. It’s soft, it fits my body well, and I’m invisible.”
“I’m gonna take that fanny pack away from you.”
“I’m so disappointed, where is your thigh…!? I came here for the thigh…!”
“I was half kinda joking, but, like, why does that outfit look so fucking good?”
“I love all of the stuff you got me.”
“I’m gonna take that shirt, and I’m gonna burn it while you’re sleeping.”
REACTING TO COMPILATION VIDEOS OF ME
“I feel obnoxious. Am I obnoxious?”
“I’m not a weirdo who imitates people to their face.”
“I’m telling you — they misspelled ‘moments’.”
“I’m like a little kid. I start saying something or doing something, and then I can’t stop.”
“It’s just another example of you blatantly interrupting me because you wanted to.”
“You forget you have nothing to say, so that’s your default.”
“You don’t have a basketball game — you’ve literally never, ever had a basketball game, today or tomorrow.”
“I’ve never met a person that I’ve had that same hate like a sibling. That’s how me and Rome get sometimes.”
“It’s like one big, long incest joke.”
“Okay, this is literally gonna make me fucking cry.”
“It just ends with you screaming.”
“Don’t call me a snack again.”
“Oh, it’s hot? Now you know how I feel sitting next to you.”
“Stocked up with soap until forever.”
“If you’re dirty, come to my house, I got the soap, you know what I’m saying?”
“Alright, now we’re taking a fight break.”
“We’re not judging you; this is a safe place.”
“We only got 8 bars of soap, because I thought that was a lot of soap.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna throw any of the soap out, okay?”
“Please send help to my house. My dog is broken.”
MY BOYFRIEND BUYS MY OUTFITS
“There was a couple of items I got because I’ve always wanted to see you wear them.”
“While I was shopping today, I was thinking: what would go good at a step-grandparent’s barbecue?”
“I think this would be mad cute on you. And off of you.”
“You don’t have any step-grandparents.”
“We can go to Disneyland in it, cause I’ve never been.”
“This is my new favorite shirt!”
“Do not make me wear that capri-crap.”
“You got my nemesis in clothing form.”
“I saw those and they literally yelled at me.”
“My nipples aren’t that far apart from each other, this is just gonna be a boob show…!”
“I retract everything I said.”
“I can feel my legs suffocating from here.”
“Julien, I am a grown woman…!”
“Why do you want me to be a people that wears jeans?”
“Hey, guys, it’s me, Jenna, the regular people, here to do regular people things.”
“Tell me she doesn’t look cute in this.”
“As long as I’m wearing these sunglasses, I can wear jeans.”
“You look like you’re trying to hide from the cops.”
“Girl, you look cute as fuck.”
“If you’d ever like me to return the favor, I’m more than happy to.”
“Dear God, it’s me, Jenna. Please give me the strength not to punch my boyfriend.”
“I think I have permanent scars from those jeans.”
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