*holds myself to my peersā high-achieving standards even tho my brain chemistry literally inhibits me from performing at the same level as everyone else*

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Not today Justin
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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Aqua Utopiaļ½ęµ·ć®åŗć§čØę¶ćē“”ć

Janaina Medeiros
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@ed-aussie-char
*holds myself to my peersā high-achieving standards even tho my brain chemistry literally inhibits me from performing at the same level as everyone else*
me @ myself: maybe the reason you feel so tired all the time is because intrusive sleep is part of your disorder and since you do not find life interesting a good part of the time very little suffices to keep your mind stimulated enough to prevent it from feeling sleepy
myself @ me: holy shit
While searching for something to watch in the background while I study, I somehow wasted all my time and got no work done.
Itās just weird to be āfriendsā with so many people but still being lonely and feeling empty
Just going to get some thoughts out there. You can ignore this if you donāt care about learning disabilities or other mental disorders (That sounded bad but you know what I mean).Ā
Sometimes people forget or are uneducated about ADHD, and that itās not just a struggle with academic environments.Ā
Sometimes itās hard to get out of my own head in any situation. While watching a movie I may need to rewind or rewatch the movie multiple times (I sometimes go back 4 times to watch the same movie again in theatres) because my mind drifted. In the middle of conversation, sometimes a word can trigger thoughts, memories, or dreams, which may make me interrupt them or blank out (it can make me seem like Iām not interested in what the person is saying or ignoring them).
Itās hard to deal with the amount of sensory input. I canāt listen to music/movies sometimes on normal settings which absolutely kills the mood for music lovers a lot of the time. I hear everything, literally down to my own breathing and heart beat if itās quiet enough. I can barely see in the summer because of how bright the sun is and in the wintertime to how badly the sun reflects off the snow that I constantly need to be wearing sunglasses (sometimes inside). I can smell food from across my home with my door closed. Half of the materials clothes are made out of irritate/bother my skin.
It can be extremelyĀ hard to handle the overload of emotional stimulation during hyperactive moments. When I need to confront someone because of what they did to me or how they are treating me or just general moments of high stress, I get an adrenaline rush and start to shake (usually this happens because of fear, but with me itās when anything even remotely becomes suddenly emotionally stimulating). This sometimes leads to panic attacks which are incredibly painful for me, so much so that there is too much internal stimulation on my nerves which makes it feel like Iām being poked by thousands of needles. This overload in emotions makes it particularly difficult for me to romantically like or have interest in anyone because of how intense my emotions get.Ā
ADHD is associated with a lot of other disorders because of how diverse the symptoms are (anxiety, mood swings, manic, depression, and hyperactivity being the main focus), and I donāt think people really comprehend how annoying it can be to deal with the repercussions. So when someone says they have ADHD, the best thing you can say is, āLet me know if something is too much and Iāll try to tone it downā because thatās all it really comes down to.Ā Some peace of mind.Ā Ā
But thatās just me. Feel free to reblog this if you want. Just wanted to say some things about my experiences with ADHD.
me: okay time to write this essay:)
my adhd hell brain:Ā AĢøĢĢĢ»A̵ĢĢĢĢA̶ĢĶAĢ“ĢĢŖAĢ“ĢĢA̶ĢĢ Ģ°AĢ·Ķ̧̲AĢ“ĶĢ̱̬ ĢµĢ ĢæĶĢ®GĢøĢĶ̳ĶO̵ĢĢĢĶO̵Ķ̬G̷̾ĶO̶Ģ̳̾OĢ·Ģ ĢĶ ĢµĢĶĢÆGĢ·ĢĶĶĢØAĢ·ĢĶĢÆGĢøĢĢĶĢAĢ·Ķ ĢÆ
If you āclaimā to have ADHD but donāt have sleeping difficulties or you can get good grades, then Iām sorry,Ā I gotta be honestā¦Ā
youāre absolutely valid, ADHD symptoms can vary from person to person, and and could you send me your coping mechanisms so I can share it with others?Ā
some adhd things that i really really hate
fidget in inappropriate places
canāt focus canāt focus canāt focus canāt focus ca
did you ask me to do that?? really?? when????
im sorry i canāt control my volume i get loud sometimes im sorry
ājust focusā
why canāt i just be normal
why canāt i be yelled at without crying?
why does every little thing hurt
No you donāt understand I canāt touch That One Thing, it has a Bad Touch Feeling
just once, i would love to not be irritated when something doesnāt work. just once.
please donāt leave me please donāt leave me please donāt leave me ple
ātry harder.ā
why was I born like this? I didnāt ask for this
I excelled early as a child and now everythingās crashing down around me
You have one (1) mildly critical thing to say? I must sob please excuse me
!!!! too much focus too much focus too mu
I saved this post as a draft to work on after a five minute break but I started this five days ago
too loud too loud too loud too much stimulation too loud
too??? quiet????? whereās the noise????? go back????????
my mind is a mental āfuck youā fruit cocktail
Is This A Hyperfixation Or A Genuine Passion That Could Lead To A Career: a memoir
That adhd feel when being bored is actually mentally exhausting and nothing you do is stimulating at all or you dont have the energy to do anything that might help but being bored itself is whats making u not have energy but yeah boredom is hell and i want to die :-)
Does anyone else with ADHD have to vocalize their thoughts in order to keep them from slipping out of your reach? I feel ridiculous for doing this but especially when Iām inspired or especially distracted speaking my train of thought out loud helps me stay on track and make sense of the swirling typhoon of ideas in my brain.
me: wow ive got a week off i can finally catch up on my work so im not behind anymore
my adhd: you fool,,, you absolute dumbass,,, a completely unstructured week with no major motivators,,, you think youāre gonna get shit done?
The worst part about having mental health issues is that youāre seemingly required to have a breakdown in order for people to understand how hard you were trying to hold yourself together.
I have never seen it explained so well.
iāve been suicidal for so long that iāve just been assuming i wouldnāt live even as long as i have so i never thought about anything long term and now i have no idea what iām going to do and iām more afraid to live than i ever was to die
Parents should not be reading your journals
Parents should not be searching through your trashĀ
Parents should not be snooping on your private social media messagesĀ
Parents should not be taking your bedroom door offĀ
Parents should not be invading your privacyĀ