you have to look at how misa wants rem to die for light but doesn't want rem to die for misa and then dig your thumb into that bruise really really hard
i think it is intended as more a reflection of misa's suicidality than it is a reflection of any existing affection for rem but when combined with the fact that misa is the only person rem is willing to die for, the end result regardless of misa's intention is that misa doesn't want rem to die, and i just think that is very fun
I've always thought that this panel - the only time afaicr that Misa ever expresses what looks like concern for Rem's welfare - is actually an appeal to Rem's self-interest in the context of the fact that Misa says this when Rem just threatened to kill Light. Misa points out that killing Light will kill Rem not because she cares whether Rem dies, but because she cares whether Light dies, which is something she is much more consistently shown to worry about. Flagging the obvious issue with Rem's threat to him is, I suspect, simply a tactic to try and stop Rem from carrying it out.
I don't think Misa wants any shinigami around her, tbh. She effectively threatens Ryuk to his face the moment Light lets her see him ("Nice to meet you Ryuk, hey Light now let me tell you how to kill this guy-!") and she never voices concern for Rem beyond that one panel - which, as said, I think is not actually about concern for Rem at all.
Furthermore, here's another thing. We know that if you forfeit a Death Note, you will lose the memories associated with it including relevant memories of anyone you hung out with while using it, but not the emotions associated with those people and memories. This is an absolutely pivotal fact, because this is why Rem says that Misa will still be in love with Light even when she no longer knows that he's Kira. Which proves to be the case, and is vital to the plot; so that is definitely and officially How The Memory Loss Works. You can lose your memories of people. But you keep your feelings about them.
And then. When Rem accosts Misa in the women's bathroom at Yotsuba, what is Misa's instant gut reaction to Rem? Fear and disgust. There's no forgotten yet hardcoded resonance of affection, no strange profound moment of "I don't know you and yet I do, you're my friend!" There's just "oh no, a monster, scaryyyyy!"
So, yeah, sorry, Rem. I don't actually think Misa ever even liked you. ;_;
Something that always bothers me is when people say that Light didn't care when Soichiro died; many people hated him for crying, because they think he only saw him as a tool and that he didn't have genuine feelings of love for his father, it's common to see it because they always see Light as this manipulative, psychopathic character who is only interested in being Kira, but that is WRONG!!
The way I see this scene is that Light was frustrated because his plan didn't go as he wanted, but he also was losing his father; It was a culmination of emotions that had been building up, as Mello and Near appeared out of nowhere.
Light was yelling at Soichiro to write Mello's name because yes, he was a pain in the ass, but also, for Light, justice meant killing the perpetrator, and Light wanted that justice for his father.
Light loved his family you can see it in the How to read, I think his reaction was genuine. Light is more complex than others realize; he's not a power-scaling character leave him alone
(they're talking about light having to give up half a lifespan for the eye deal) oh interesting nuance about the wording here: "this deal has no advantages for the shinigami. i can extend my lifespan using anybody." implies that the half of a lifespan that is given up by the human does get transferred to the shinigami, it's just that ryuk doesn't think this matters very much because he can kill whoever to extend his lifespan without going through with some complicated deal. (this implication is more obvious in the japanese version because ryuk says "this deal basically has no advantages for the shinigami.") anyway really interesting to consider re: misa doing the eye deal twice! both rem and ryuk have a bit of her lifespan in them now!
Interestingly, of course, Ryuk's technically lying about the deal having no advantages for shinigami, because if you do the math: if the human loses half their remaining life and the shinigami gains the same amount of time, then as long as the shinigami had even, like, five minutes left in hand when the deal was made, the shinigami is now guaranteed to outlive their bonded human.
Which is irrelevant to Ryuk, sure, because he's got his own Death Note still on his belt and can stuff himself with lifespan at will, as he says. But imagine the advantage to a shinigami if a human had gotten their own and only Death Note away from them somehow. Like, eg, Shidoh, who we know was short on life because that's why he noticed his Death Note was missing in the first place, and couldn't feed himself until he got it back. Depending on how close to the wire Shidoh was at that point, making the eye deal with Kal Snydar/Jack Neylon could even have been all that saved his life for long enough to get his Death Note back after the taskforce raid on the mafia hideout.
So yeah, I think Ryuk's telling the truth to Light as regards him personally not gaining anything from the deal - Ryuk's in no danger anyway and since what he wants here is ongoing entertainment, Light not shortening his own life is actively in Ryuk's interests for now! - but I don't know if Light spotted the implications if their circumstances had been different. It definitely isn't true that the eye deal never potentially benefits the shinigami.
Silly Death Note alternate timeline, number however-many I'm up to:
L: It'll be lonely, won't it? You and I will be parting ways soon...🥺
[fx: record scratch]
Light: Actually, after this is over I'm really looking forward to getting back together with my boyfriend. Who I literally had to banish into another dimension for the last half a year while I dealt with your bullshit, thanks for nothing Ryuzaki.🙄
Gods, as a tinfoil-hat Terraito shipper this little moment is such a treasure to me. Six years of Ryuk insisting he's not on anyone's side, making every excuse under the sun for how he's not really doing this or that to help Light - covering his ass with entire two-page speeches, meticulously trading apples for favours, swearing he doesn't care - and then Matsuda gets up his nose once too often and suddenly it's I'd sell you all to Kira for the proverbial corn chip. I wish so much that we'd seen Light's reaction to that line.
...actually you know what, fine, if Ōba won't feed me I'll cook for myself. Ficsnippet below the cut, G, no warnings.
~~~
If I were allowed to tell, then I'd tell Kira about you guys.
It had taken Light the effort of a lifetime not to react, not to laugh, when Ryuk had blurted that out. Oh, Ryuk, Ryuk. You lie to my face all this time and then Matsuda of all people makes you crack?
It's not that he hadn't known. He's known since the cameras in his bedroom, since Raye Penber, since they met. He's known since Ryuk mysteriously never dropped any hints to L or anyone else to balance out the ones he dropped for Light. He's known since he got away with asking for fake rules in the Death Note (price: one token apple, which Light did make a point of remembering to pay so they could both save face). He's known since he sat in shackles with Ryuk curled painfully at his side on cold grey concrete, body twisted in withdrawal cramps but still loyally hanging on for the sake of Light's plans. He knows, he knows, he knows Ryuk is his to the end.
But the persistent denial of it has been a pillar of their friendship for so long, something Light counts on like he counts on the sun to rise, that Ryuk dropping the mask in that flash of exasperation had blindsided him completely. He'd faltered for a split second where he stood, his heart lurching, his body stilling as he processed the sudden sweet pang of hearing those words so thoughtlessly uttered out loud.
I told him to act loyal to Kira around the taskforce, yes - but that sounded real. That wasn't part of the act, was it, Ryuk?
And then Matsuda had demanded So you're on Kira's side? Then just go back to Kira! and Light really had come so perilously close to laughing out loud. If only you knew, Matsuda. If only you knew.
~~
With the taskforce practically on top of them in their cramped temporary base, Light can't talk to Ryuk safely anywhere other than the bathroom. Water running to mask their voices, words exchanged quick and quiet; and even that much is a risk.
Still, he can't pass up using one of their handful of stolen moments that evening to tease. "Six years of telling me every five minutes that you're not on Kira's side, and all it took was Matsuda to make you swear your allegiance, Ryuk?"
"Eh? I didn't - what?"
"If I could, I'd tell Kira about you? Really?"
Ryuk startles at hearing himself quoted, and coughs uncomfortably. "I - just saying the kind of thing they'd expect me to, you know? Like you do. All the time."
Light looks at his shinigami - at the clawtips clicking awkwardly together, the averted gaze, the darker-than-usual blue-grey colour creeping up Ryuk's throat and staining his craggy cheekbones - and all he can do is laugh, soft and fond, as he shakes his head. "Okay, Ryuk. Sure."
"Shinigami are neutral, Light-o. You know the rules."
Light looks up at him, from behind dipped lashes and the artfully stray strands of his bangs. Smiles, and watches the telltale darkness in Ryuk's skin flush even deeper.
I constantly think about all the times Ryuk helped Light, and if he didn’t help, it was because he REALLY couldn’t (like, for example, not being able to tell him the names he sees with his Shinigami eyes, which is against the rules. So much so that not even Rem herself would tell Misa the names. no, she offered Misa her Shinigami eyes too, even though it would shorten Misa’s life and that bothered her)
Ryuk always came up with some lame excuse to help Light, like saying "I’m uncomfortable being followed" to tell Light about Raye Pember. are you serious, Ryuk? lol
Ryuk definitely didn’t agree with Kira’s ideology—that’s indisputable— but the truth is, he’s nothing more than a little puppy who insists on pretending he doesn’t. People always think of Ryuk as “a cold, badass guy who doesn’t care about Light,” when in reality he’s an idiot who lives under strict rules and tries his hardest to bend them just to stay with Light.
I imagine a conversation where Light complains that Ryuk isn’t helping him enough, and after a lot of insistence, Ryuk admits that he has to obey the rules to stay on Earth—and even to stay alive. Admitting that could backfire, like when Rem told Misa how to “kill a Shinigami” and they took advantage of it.
But Light starts to stop insisting on asking for his help with this explanation. He doesn’t say anything, but he simply doesn’t want Ryuk to die or leave.
Whenever Light needs to do something, he tries his hardest not to involve Ryuk, tries his hardest not to need his help—even if it’s something he could easily convince Ryuk to help with using an apple.
In the Yotsuba arc, he involved Rem in every stage of the plan while leaving Ryuk grounded in the Shinigami world. Ryuk must have been very bored during that time; he might have insisted to Light that he could stay on Earth doing anything, but Light wouldn’t let him, because he wanted him to be involved as little as possible so as not to take any risks.
Yeah, you get it. Ryuk is not neutral. Personally I think Light swapped him out during the Yotsuba arc partly because he needed Rem locked down away from him but in a position to kill L if needed (which Ryuk wouldn't have been willing to do, because Ryuk wouldn't risk getting dusted for Light!) but also because he needed Ryuk free to bond with Misa and give her the shinigami eyes if required... because Ryuk wouldn't hesitate at halving Misa's lifespan a second time, but Rem likely would have!
What's really interesting to me though is that when Light doubles down in part 2 and tells Ryuk "you're GOING to help me now" - no asking nicely, no bribes, no apples, just "you messed up and you are going to help me fix it" - Ryuk does it. No protests, no wiggling out, he goes all-in and then some on the mafia raid plan. He works with Soichiro like a professional for the brief period that they're bonded, he attacks and restrains a fellow shinigami at Light's direction without hesitating, he barefaced lies to the taskforce for Light and then keeps up that act for weeks under effectively constant hostile surveillance. He does a whole bunch of stuff that goes way further than just dropping hints and looking for cameras like he was doing in part 1.
So my theory is that there's a breakaway clause hidden in the shinigami rules. They're not allowed to help a human of their own volition - but if a human who holds their bond lays down the law and tells them to do something, they can do it. The original reason for this was probably to protect shinigami in the event that a human somehow got hold of their only Death Note; because imagine the danger a shinigami could be in, if a human were to have their only source of lifespan and be willing to hold that over them as leverage. "Do as I say or I'll keep this notebook away from you and watch you starve to dust," for instance. So it makes sense to me that there's an allowance made in the rules for shinigami to do pretty much whatever they have to in that situation, because otherwise they could get fatally stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Of course, Ryuk still has his own Death Note and only dropped a spare, so in reality Light actually has no leverage and can't do a thing to him. But if that loophole exists, I can totally see Ryuk using it as an excuse to help Light, as long as Light is being sufficiently forceful in his demands that Ryuk can reasonably pretend he felt intimidated - which I think you can make a case for here lmao:
So yeah. I don't think it's that Ryuk doesn't want to help, it's that he's limited in how and when he can. And ironically, the very fact that Light cares for him and mostly doesn't want to manipulate and exploit him, actually makes it harder for Ryuk to find loopholes he can help through. He's doing his best!
Yeeeeah!! In the first arc, Light uses Ryuk simply because he’s there, and since Ryuk isn’t interfering of his own accord (like during the bus robbery or when they went to Note Blue), it took a lot of persuasion to convince Ryuk to actually help him lol. In the second arc, however, Ryuk helps him so much that it becomes clear just how much their relationship has evolved over those five years, and also how both of them have a better understanding of the rules. Little by little, it went from “I don’t want to help you” to “I’ll help you, as long as it doesn’t affect me (and with a reward, of course),” and Light picked up on that.
As for Ryuk helping Light unconditionally when he does something “stupid,” I tend to believe this is due to the Shinigami rule that says they can’t help (I’ve always understood this “helping” to mean giving him names or saving his life—not occasional acts of assistance like Ryuk’s), but they also can’t hinder their human. And since Ryuk supposedly caused him problems by not telling him something important from the start, this would soon become a “debt” the Shinigami owes the human, you see? This is just a guess, especially since many rules are vague, and we have to try to figure out what the heck they might mean
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