And remember, they don't have to hit you in order to qualify as an abuser. Do they...
Say mean and/or creepy things and then try to walk it back as "just a joke?"
Tell you that you're "too sensitive" when you call out their words or behavior?
Use the Bible, the Quran, the Torah, the Vedas, or any other religious text to justify mistreating you?
Treat you badly, apologize, promise never to do it again, and proceed to do it again?
Try to control where you go, how you dress, who you see and talk to, what and how much you eat, etc.?
Snoop through your phone, emails, belongings, or other private stuff without your OK? Or manipulate you into "letting" them do so?
Track your menstrual cycle (if you have one) without your OK? Or manipulate you into "letting" them do so?
Try to make you keep a pregnancy you don't want (or terminate one you do)? Or try to dictate what (if any) birth control you use?
Threaten to hurt themselves or other people if you leave, or "step out of line?"
Break or throw things when they're upset?
Punch holes in walls, doors, etc.?
Make you (or try to make you) engage in sexual acts you don't enjoy, don't feel ready for, don't feel comfortable with, or just plain aren't in the mood for?
Try to make you feel like a bad person for saying "no" to sex?
Try to distance you from your friends and family?
Actively try to turn your friends and family against you? Or you against them?
Get mad when you say no or try to set a boundary?
Call you degrading names?
Use your insecurities against you?
"Neg" or "should" you into conforming to their preferences?
Try to get you to quit your job, or get you fired?
Use drugs, alcohol, a bad day at work, or whatever their deal is as an excuse for their behavior?
If so, you need to get out. Now. Make a plan. I promise, it doesn't get better as long as you are in this relationship. You cannot love the red flags out of people. Even if they don't hit you now, there's a good chance they'll start sooner or later; abuse has a nasty tendency to escalate.
