[sashimi55]

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

[inloveforevr-deactivated2025041]

we aren’t doing enough arts and crafts in this world I’m telling you

[recklessmoss]

say what u want about the manscaped ads I know they are shit, all of them but the “evil, sinister, malcontent, balls” one puts me into fucking hysterics actually

[recklessmoss]

please this is SO funny

[recklessmoss]

HUH?!

[bigbadbutch]

[your-mommy-ems]

'this too shall pass' well can it pass fucking faster??

[tastylemonbread]

[thominyourside]

[morganbritton132]

Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

[girlwave]

all stuffed animals have a little bit of god inside them a little soul

[disgruntledturtle]

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

[equalistmako]

“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”

[seasonoftowers]

Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

[people-are-garbage]

well you did ask

[defilerwyrm]

Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

[mrtacomam]

you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

[kariachi]

Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.

[pulltheotheroneithasbellson]

plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.

[blueandbluer]

Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.

[xeppelinsfw]

it’s not funny to cum, nor is it feasible.

[apoherm-deactivated20231020]

Anonymous photographer Antique Head of Ariadne, Museo delle Terme, Rome ca. 1880 marble Victoria & Albert Museum

[animatedtext]

[valtsv]

[vixensandmonsters-deactivated20]

Beetlejuice (1988) dir. Tim Burton

[animatedtext]

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[labyr1nthian]

[darksideofart]

Medusa, Gian Lorenzo Bernini. 1630.