dying vicariously @edmond-monet - Tumblr Blog

Fanfic is a free hobby.

It's one of the last few things we can have as a society that's free. You can engage, for free. People give you things (art, stories, etc), for free.

Don't buy into the consummerism just because it's everywhere else.

You don't have to consume everything you interact with. You don't have to use things, just because they exist.

You're allowed (still, for now), to have things that are enjoyable for free.

Do you realise how insane the world is? We don't have many places where we can just be, for free anymore, but ao3 is. Did you notice we don't have ads in ao3? We don't have pop ups? Where ELSE do we not have that?

Where else can you just go and not have to wait for a commercial to be over or for ads to be on the sidelines?

I don't think the younger people understand, but the whole of internet used to be like this. YouTubers would do Youtube for free, just because. You couldn't monetise your internet presence before.

Ao3 is like a little preserved corner of the internet where the old internet used to be, and it's being attacked by people who do not understand that free things are allowed to exist without judgment.

Please don't ruin this for us.

Some of us need it.

cowpokeprose

When Adam bit the apple he did it because he trusted Eve. Because he loved her. Adam bit into the apple because the woman he loved told him to, no matter what God said. No matter the rules of heaven. What’s heaven to a woman’s love anyway? What’s God to your wife? The first sins of humanity, were trusting others. Eve trusted a snake, Adam trusted Eve, and I trust you. Maybe that’s a sin, just like the first couple. Maybe everyone’s right about us and we’re sinners and we offend God. But like I said, what’s God to a woman’s love anyway? What has heaven got that I can’t find sitting next to you on a cool autumn morning?

#god a pair of these lines have been EATING my brain #what’s heaven to a woman’s love? what’s God to your Wife?

transcripts of prayers left on god’s answering machine

holy, holy, holy.

praise be to the god of Silence,

of missed calls, of texts left on read.

you might want to pick up your phone once in a while, you know? sometimes it’s urgent. anyway, call me back as soon as you can. bye.

You didn’t hear me then,

when I was a small girl,

praying with silent, desperate tears streaming down her face as she pleaded with the only Father she could fathom to save her.

I doubt You’ll get this now. Probably have my number blocked. Heh.

I never could scream loud enough for You to hear.

you were supposed to protect me, you know?

you said you would.

you promised.

was I not good enough? jesus was, and you killed him anyway. god, did you want to crucify me, too?

hey, Man! listen, I’ve got those files for You. I’ll drop them right off. want me to leave the door unlocked?

it’s me, your mother. I miss You.

for all I know; i’m talking to an empty house. you’re probably not even home. i’m always sure the voicemail box has to be full by now, but there always seems to be space. wonder how much you paid in advance for the latest model, way back before everything. must’ve cost a fortune. anyway, I—

our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. thy kingdom come, thy will be done: on earth, as it is in heaven.

we are calling about a problem with your car’s extended warranty—

what was that for, huh? You just let her die? what the hell! I asked You. I asked You to save her. You owe me!

bring him peace. don’t let anyone bother him anymore. give him what he wanted. give him rest. please.

do you think jesus felt loved? how could anyone, when your own father wants you dead? could you trick yourself into thinking that’s love? could you make yourself believe it?

this is an appointment reminder for—

—can You hear me, dad? am I coming through? anyway. just wanted to call and say I love You. okay. see you later. bye.

#poetry #edmond monet #spoken word #religious imagery #religious trauma #religion #god

notepadmusings

Communion

And when I place the body of Christ underneath my tongue, when He dissolves like fine sand, like sweet honey. and when I gasp, when my pupils dilate, as I glance at His heaven,

Will you seethe? Will you lurch forward, claws digging into my shoulder blades, ripping out the muscle to lay flaccid on my back? Will you remember our nights, reach down to my Achilles tendon, and tear it? Will you force me on my knees, and not allow me to fly away? Will you grasp my two hands in your larger ones, crush my palms together, and will you beg for my forgiveness? And once you have forced me into loyalty, will the blood wash from our hands?

I would go through it all again for you

a hundred times

but I do not think I would still be me

when it was over

#poetry #edmond monet #spoken word #dark poetry #lgbtq #t4t poetry #trauma #dark academia #atrosushi

on the two angels that visited me at work

matching white coats, dirty from being on earth too long; a kaleidoscope of color inside the younger one’s hood

they are mean to each other, but that’s just how angels are. it’s all they know. the taller one rolls its eyes— all of them— every time the younger one can’t make up xer mind. the younger calls it a slur in a language no one can speak.

more than a few dollars short for the wire cutters and sealant they need, so I hand them a twenty.

the taller one insists it doesn’t know me, I don’t see how that matters, so I tell it, “it’s a gift.”

but the word “gift” feels like the word “offering”

a last ditch attempt to appease a god who ignored me all my life

maybe this is a last piece; a last peace, a treaty.

and echoes in my mind whisper:

“be kind to strangers

lest they be angels in disguise”

#edmond monet #poetry #spoken word #religious themes #angels #angels in disguise #religious trauma

and I would rip myself apart for you,

crack open my ribcage and let you

take whatever you wanted.

but you have been teaching me

that you do not need me to,

that I do not need me to.

#atrosushi #edmond monet #poetry #spoken word #healthy relationships #actually traumatized

being trans is a bit like

running hands over yourself and thinking

“i cannot wait for there to be a scar there

in the place of something else”

to know that all that will be left is the mark

a tangible reminder of how the creator wronged you

and how you made it right

#edmond monet #poetry #spoken word #lgbtq #trans #Trans poetry #top surgery #ftm #ftm specific sorry

hiiiii i know this is really stupid and idk if u even remember what we became mutuals for (frankenstein. i think) but ive always loved ur poetry since the day i knew that u posted that stuff but ive been too shy to say anything of it cuz i do gen admire ur writing like A Lot. i also just realised somehow i havent reblogged any of ur writing at all so. Let Me Amend That

i'm not usually this awkward talking to people i swear 😭😭 im good at talking to ppl i admire and shoot a compliment very quickly but it's like. idk i just Really like ur poetry

omg! I should really write some more soon I’ve just been so busy 😭 we should talk Frankenstein sometime though!

#asks #edmond answers

URGENT HELP🚨🚨🚨🍉🇵🇸

Hello,

How do you do ? I hope to be in a good condition.

This is my special campaign

We hope to help us by donating or sharing to others.

Every donation makes a different even if it a small.

As you know, the war began on October 7 and lasted ten months. During this period, we were unable to obtain food, drink, or treatment because we did not have money.

There is no source of income for the family at the present time, so we are unable to buy food, clean water, and medicine, especially after we are afflicted with the ongoing infectious diseases spread in the north like Hepatitis C disease.

Our house has been damaged a lot since the beginning of the war. We are from the north of Gaza and we are still in the north and have not displaced to the south. We displaced 10 times from place to another seeking to safety .

We hope for your help and support, even if only a little.

Vetted By Femme intifada on telegram.

This is the link if you would to read our story well 👇👇

https://gofund.me/4e896ac1

Thank you all

no one deserves to endure what you and your countrymen have endured. all my love to you.

Palestine will be free.

#free palestine #from the river to the sea palestine will be free

the screaming that bounces around the inside of my skull is back to grace me with its presence. guttural and keening and feral.

i take another sip from my soda can and pretend i do not hear it, because to let it out into the world, where it would transform from visceral agony to banal noise, would be worse than enduring it silently. at least this way i can still feel it. at least this way no one else has to.

#tumblr poetry #edmond monet #poetry #spoken word #dark poetry #trauma #lgbtq #dark academia #abuse #childhood trauma

oysters-aint-for-me

fireflies honestly make me cry a little. out of gratitude and wonder. thank goodness we live in a world with bioluminescence. thank goodness we live in a world where it can fly.

the wind keeps reaching through the open window of my car. she is trying to rip my heart out from under my seatbelt.

I wonder what she wants with it.

#edmond monet #poetry #spoken word #poetry that doesn’t mean anything #lgbtq #tumblr poetry

I am not a girl,

but rather a boy in the way

that I am burdened a daughter.

disappointingly so.

#lots of updates tonight #in a writing mood #edmond monet #poetry #spoken word #dark poetry #trauma #dark academia #religious trauma #lgbtq #trans

a painter’s attempt at poetry

red wine drips from lips

like blood and

god knows it’ll never

be enough and

each hit burns like

it’s the first

you think you just might

die of thirst and

dorian, you’re gonna die

but pretty darling,

so am I

so you and I,

we’ll go down together

you’ll destroy yourself

and I’ll haunt you forever

nothing left to say but

beauty does not stay and

paint it fades and dries and

time it always flies

#dorian gray #poetry #edmond monet #spoken word #dark poetry #dark academia #gothic lit #the picture of dorian gray #basil hallward #a painter’s attempt at poetry by Edmond Monet

so hold me on the way down,

and do me no harm,

i cause myself enough injury

from day to day, love

#song lyrics? maybe?#poetry #I should write a song #edmond monet #spoken word #dark poetry #romantic poetry #dark academia #lgbtq

god will never love me the way he loves you,

and that is all the assurance I have in this world.

#edmond monet #poetry #spoken word #dark poetry #trauma #religious trauma #dark academia

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