me trying to explain why you shouldn't use unhealthy coping mechanisms while i myself don't even take my own advice

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@edwillalwaysbemydemon
me trying to explain why you shouldn't use unhealthy coping mechanisms while i myself don't even take my own advice
I am so pissed! I spent all day yesterday tracking my calories and killing it with my diet, and I ended up gaining a pound in a half. I had more than what I needed for a calorie deficit.. fucking, ugh. I've always struggled with tracking calories without obsessing because of my previous ED. And all that effort for fucking nothing. Fantastic.
LOCKING in.
No more “I’ll start tomorow”’s, no more “just one bite”’s, no more “cheat day”’s, NO MORE EXCUSES!
Severely frustrated. I am 3 days sober now from alcohol and have been going to meetings. While I am proud of that, I have found myself wanting to eat and keep eating, even when I'm not hungry. I am 5"0 and currently 161. I do not want to start gaining weight again!! I formally had an eating disorder and don't want to fall back into old habits with that either, but I feel like I could easily do that if I'm compulsively eating.
I hate myself for loving food
Why can‘t I hate food as much as I hate myself
I'm so fucking tired of hating the way I look
I’m such a failure younger me would be so disappointed in what I’ve become
Crying your eyes out because you hate who you are to your core<<<<<
there are no words to describe the tiredness I feel
it doesn't matter what weight you start at, i will never judge you. we're all sick and we're all going through it.
some th!n$p0 from pinterest ❤️❤️
She’s my body goals 😭