t

my mom won't buy me a diary

[eeclipsedd]

07/11/15

My mom got me a journal last night, so I guess this account is now pretty useless. I still might use this account just to post quotes and stuff, though.

[eeclipsedd]

09/10/15

so i decided that instead of trying to make this all long and thoughtful every single night, im just gonna post occasional thoughts because i don’t want this to seem like a chore.

anyway, i started reading looking for alaska- I know, all I read is John green- and I don’t think I’ve ever loved a character more than I love her. I thought Margo was perfect, but that was before I was blessed with reading about Alaska. She’s really problematic but at the same time so smart and passionate and I really love that. This fictional character literally made me question my sexuality again. Oh yeah that leads to another thing. Since my last post, I have gotten over that girl (which I do very easily), decided I’m asexual and that liking her was just more of having an interest towards her, then realized that just because I don’t fall deeply in love with people doesn’t mean that I’m asexual, then started liking her again. After reading more of looking for Alaska, I started to think she seemed familiar. Then I realized that the girl I like and Alaska are soooo similar. They’re both passionate feminists, both smoke, both like sex, both are really intelleigent and love to read, and both I think are secretly sad. It makes me sad when she’s sad and I think that’s how I realized that I really care about her. Because, when my friends cry I just kinda sit there, but with her I had to fight the urge not to cry and go comfort her- which is a really unfamiliar feeling because even my mom says that I’m so emotionless. idk I guess I’m rambling gtg bye ttyl

[eeclipsedd]

11/9/15

I HAVE A CRUSH ON A GIRL that is all

[eeclipsedd]

24/8/15

Sooo in the last post I said I was gonna post Paper Towns quotes but I honestly forgot all about that.

But anyway, yo day was the first day of school. I expected it to go a lot worse. I have friends in every class except English, which is pretty good. I also have lunch with my best friend which is great because we don’t have any classes together. I missed the bus this morning so I kinda got to school in a bad mood. But that mood was quickly gone once I got to my first class because i sat next to a good friend of mine and we laughed like the whole class period (which is kinda a bad thing because now the teacher already hates me lol). I didn’t see my other best friend at all today which kinda sucks, but I’m not sure I want to continue being friends with her anyway. So now instead of just ignoring her, we can just naturally fall out of friendship because of not seeing each other. It sounds kinda mean but she’s a completely different person than the one who I became friends with last year. She changed, not in a good way.

I guess that’s all for now. I think now that school started and I’m on a schedule, I’m gonna update daily.

[eeclipsedd]

13/8/15

This is my second time typing this because I saved it to my drafts but I don’t know where drafts are located.

I finished Paper Towns. This wasn’t the first time I had read it, but I feel like it gets better every time. It’s just such a beautifully written story. How could you not love it? John Green just has such a great way with words. I think I like it so much because it is kinda relatable. I think almost everything in my life is made of paper, just like Margo did. I want to highlight and underline and annotate the whole book, but I also don’t wanna ruin it or have someone borrow it and think it’s weird. So tomorrow I’m gonna post some of my favorite quotes from the book. I really want to see the PT movie, but my friend- who has read the book- said it wasn’t good. I don’t want to see the movie and have it make me not like the book as much, BUT CARA IS IN IT AND SHE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. so maybe i’ll see it anyway and hope for the best.

Also, I’m pretty sure Margo Roth Spiegleman is the reason why I want a journal.

[eeclipsedd]

1/8/15

I’ve decided that I need to write down my feeling somewhere, so this is it. I asked my mom to buy me a cool leather journal but she wouldn’t because she doesn’t think I’m actually going to stick to it. I tell myself all the time that I’m going to keep a diary, but I never do. She thought this time was just another phase, but I honestly have to disagree. I know I’m not going to post everyday, but I’ll try to do it frequently. Yesterday a friend said that whenever important things happen in her life, she writes a letter about it to herself. She says maybe one day she might get into an accident and lose her memory. The thought of that happening scares her, so she writes down all the important stuff. I think that’s a good idea, except for the fact that things written down physically are able to be found easily. I know that none of my family has tumblr so this is safe. None of my friends know my url so this is safe. It would be nice to have a cool leather diary, but it is not safe.