Menelaus: As your best friend- Odysseus: Diomedes is my best friend. Menelaus: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND
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Menelaus: As your best friend- Odysseus: Diomedes is my best friend. Menelaus: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND
Tim, waiting in a slightly longer lunch line than normal: This is the worst moment of my life.
Steph: You’re an orphan.
Tim: And?
Ghost: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.
Ghost: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.
Soap, watching a horror movie:"oh damn he's hot."
Ghost:"You're attracted to the masked killer?!"
Soap:"Simon, I'm dating you."
Ghost:
Ghost:"oh my God..."
therapy, maybe? -Simon Riley
R/N: we're dating, of course I'll ask to wear your clothes
Ghost: we're dating, of course I installed tracking apps in your phone so I can see where you are at all times because I'm afraid my enemies are going to kidnap you
R/N: are you being serious?
Ghost:....no it's for the video *camera cuts*
R/N: we're dating, of course I love when you get sick so I can baby you
Ghost: we're dating, of course I gave you that necklace that has a tracker in case you realise you have tracker on your phone and the necklace also has a camera and its not because I don't trust you but because my family was killed and now I fear you're next
R/N: Simon- *camera cuts*
Ghost: I cut my finger Y/N: I can kiss it so it'll get better Ghost: That works? Y/N: Yeah my mum used to do it when I was little *later* Ghost: I need you to punch me in the mouth Roach: Fucking finally
Soap: last night I had a nightmare about spilling Ravioli in my backpack.
Soap: someone psychoanalyse that for me, please.
Diomedes:Do you ever wanna talk about your son Achilles ? Achilles: No Odysseus:I do Diomedes:I know, Odysseus Odysseus:I am the father of Telemachus Diomedes:I know Odysseus
diomedes *recounting all that happened on his murder rampage in book V*: -and I ran a couple of trojans through, but that was about it. odysseus: you can run me through any day, daddy <3 diomedes: what? odysseus: what?
*after being sent the wrong location on patrol*
Jason: Where’s everyone going? Bingo?
Dick: What's your favorite food?
Jason: Curly fries because they're salty and spiraling, like me
Dick: ...
Jason: Just kidding. It's steak burgers
Bernard: Tim, why is Kon intruding on our cuddle time?
Kon: Tim, why is Bernard intruding on our cuddle time?
Tim, stressed out: Please, I have two hands.
Prompt 430
The villain appraised the potential-risks whiteboard. He pointed to one with several lines attached. "Eh, not a threat."
"But sir," his assistant sputtered, "The raw power of said individual-"
"-is countered by sparkly objects." The villain interrupted, casually sifting the remaining individuals on the board.
"Fascinating!" The assistant scribbled down a note. "Do sparkles nullify their powers?"
"Nope. They just get distracted."
The assistant paused. "You're not serious."
"Light a couple fireworks and they're out for the rest of the night."
Y/N: Steven was getting on my nerves today, so I told him I can't wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.
Y/N: There is nothing special about tomorrow.
Y/N: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as the panic takes over.
*ok, but what is Jake's stragle?*