[thisisdaddyspage]

Daddy, can you count to one million?

1 2 3 4 5 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 201 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 No

[dogpuppy]

[i-fuck-audis]

MY FUCKING CAR

[mlkseok]

[seobot]

[3000s]

classic example of a pig egg

[77bears]

[pettycentral]

[targetedknowledge]

[quillusquillus]

incredible sounds happening here

[jenroses]

This is what we call An Argument

[vaspider]

An Argument/Game

[cute-catts]

[petermorwood]

Sound ON. :->

[cadaverpilled]

my excessive use of commas and my love of run on sentences is alluring and attractive to my readers

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[lainpsx]

[oldbutchdanielmolloy]

omg you people can do anything

[cheaphalloweencostume]

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

[goofda]

“Imma destroy that pussy” my friend 😔

[cherryredjasperr]

whines pitifully . flops on the ground . bursts into flames

[normystical]

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny