Back From The Dead, I Guess

NDN-Talk shit, get hit. She/her

[typhlonectes]

[alleycatboy]

do you ever think before you post

yes, i think "teehee :3c" and then i click post

[anakin-slytalker]

Lesson learned don’t stream high and sad or you’ll make this

[meangirlnurse]

take me back to constantinople where the cons are stant and the nopes are nople

[supergameboytwo]

no you can't go back to constantinople, been a long time gone, the stants and the noples

[mothman-noises]

Me, five minutes into any conversation:

[lesbiancloudtail]

remember when percy jackson turned down becoming a god in favor of making the gods claim their children before they turn 13?? percy is camp half-blood’s union representative 

[harpersstupidmind]

Zeus: yeah we can give you literally anything you want

Percy: Really? Then pay your fucking child support

[bluefall23]

I really love Lil Nas X because everyone went “he’s gay but we like him because he isn’t that type of gay person,” and he said bet

[memeclassheroes]

[moonlitmorphos]

Look, I don’t make the rules but you’re legally required to watch this.

TikTok

[atomskdluffy]

The dude is having an existential crisis at the end and I UNDERSTAND

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

This reminds me of that Great Depression-era “apple” pie people used to bake that used Ritz Crackers instead of apples. 

ETA: Thank you to everyone who linked me to his tiktok page, where one of the videos is trying the Ritz Cracker thing! Some of these recipes are so terrifying, I’m fucking crying. 

[gayjeris]

If you want wild scarcity recipes but need less chaos (it’s me i need that) watch Emmy Made! She has a whole playlist of “hard times” recipes and her voice is very soothing

[codaman15]

I also highly second Emmy Made!!!!!!!!!

[anexperimentallife]

[horrorlesbians]

do you think hannibal would murder me if he watched me delicately place chips inside a sandwich and then smash it slowly before eating it

[horrorlesbians]

he’d either kill me or ask me why i prefer my sandwiches with chips and i’d shrug and say “i like the crunch”. which would prompt him to say something along the lines of “we often crave a taste more primitive, the crunching between our teeth used to be birthed from the snapping of bones from a fresh kill. is that what you are savoring for? tell me helena, do you hunger for brutality?”

[lesbinewren]

i love it when people like “omg [story] copied [other story]” and then list the steps of the heroes journey

[r--g--b]

[gothicprep]

remember back in m*ddle sch**l when ppl would say “oh so you called me a b*tch? well b*tch is a dog, dogs bark, bark is on a tree, a tree is nature, and nature is beautiful, so thanks for the compliment ;)” bc that’s what some of you guys’ arguments sound like

[ameerahmaysoon]

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[shaiza]

The fact middle school is censored is adding an indescribable aura to this post.

[theprideful-deactivated20251201]

why closed captioning should always be provided on every video:

Deaf People Exist

auditory processing disorder is a Bitch

people with ADHD can find it hard to concentrate on what is being said without the words in front of them

^autistic people for the same reason

autistic people may also find it hard to interpret verbal messages within the context of the video, so it's useful to have written alternatives to fall back on

do you know how painful it is to be excluded from every joke, every video, every conversation because others just Can't Be Bothered?

some people live in a conservative household or with family who don't share the same ideals, and they may not have privacy to view things on their own, so they may need to watch things with the volume extremely low or muted

We Want To Watch Videos In Public, Dammit

feel free to add on!

as always, ableism will get you blocked (:

[cloudmancy]

AND YET A TRACE OF THE TRUE SELF EXISTS IN THE FALSE SELF

[cloudmancy]

this post is about plastic dinosaurs

[fonchi262]

[owlmylove]

tumblr will never die because we’re all too incoherent and petty to leave. someone will just pirate the source code and start running “tunglr” and we’ll all move over like the chucklefucks we are

[owlmylove]

every time web developers try to “rebrand” or “repurpose” this website we just sink our heels deeper into the quicksand of our own absurdity

[owlmylove]

look what im saying is there was a story abt a group of artists whose house was demolished in order to make room for a new shopping mall and, once it was constructed, they fueled their rage and pettiness at being displaced into finding an unused room in the building, renovated it into a condo, outfitted it with a fully stocked kitchen, china hutch, AC, TV and gaming system and then proceeded to live in the mall undetected for years. that creativity? absurdity? sheer stubborn pettiness? thas tumblr babey!!!!

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

[frottinq]

Is Paul Blart exempt from ACAB?

he isn't a cop

[sci-fried]

... his name is literally paul blart mall cop

[redchrominance]

"cop" is a paraphyletic clade. mall cops and 'true' cops aren't closely related at all

[deadpossumbrigade-deactivated20]

Paul Blart tried to be a cop and only became a mall cop after failing. I rate Paul Blart fit for ACAB