As We Walk the Earth

        “Did he really believe God wrote stories that were open to one explanation only? A story that knew but one explanation could hardly be interesting and was certainly not worth the trouble of remembering.”  — Chaim Potok       

[4daloveofkj-deactivated20201014]

echo park be reading your soul sometimes

[whyenn-reader]

Not to go "if you have ADHD just go for a run" or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you've had enough. Not until you get bored, until you've had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn't low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you're real and best of all it's completely free

[thanosdawise]

The Perfect Explanation of Privilege – In One Powerful Punchline

“The Pencilsword” is a comic strip by Toby Morris, an illustrator from New Zealand. His most recent comic, “On a Plate” hits hard at the heart of the issues of concerning wealth and privilege.

How many times have you heard the “I’ve never been handed anything on a platter” argument in regard to social security and other social benefits?

Toby wrecks this argument by showing how two children can grow up, be loved and supported, and yet still have two very different outcomes.

Make sure to follow all the way to the end for the powerful punchline. This comic is an increasingly sad reality for far too many of this nation’s children and families.

[weltenwellen]

Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self

[thelordfoundmysilence]

[imaconchshell]

This especially hits hard tonight.

[sa-dnesss]

“You know things are getting bad when you spend all day in bed again and don’t want to leave your room. Your room is slowly becoming a mess. Losing interest in everything that used to make you happy, or distract you. Only eating one meal a day seems normal. Ending it all starts crossing your mind once again.”

— falling back into old habits

[sad-empty-lost]

My life

[wishing-for-deathx]

Things no one tells you about when you’ve been mentally ill for years and it won’t get better

— everyone will give up on you. Some will say it upfront, some will have indirect ways of showing it (you’re a lucky mf if you still have someone )

— your symptoms/ breakdowns/ panic attacks are cute for a few months. Everyone wants to help. Later on people find them annoying and inconvenient

— you will be blamed for not getting better. Doesn’t matter if you’re doing therapy, taking meds, exercising, eating well and sleeping. You can do all of it, some of it or none of it. They will find fault in your efforts.

— desensitization to your pain. This one isn’t their fault, it’s human nature. But it happens and yes it hurts cuz you would wish you were desensitized to your own pain but you have to feel it no matter what. Doesn’t matter if it’s the millionth time. It demands to be felt.

— people move on. But you can’t. You see people cope and get over things while you simply can’t. And it’s so much worse if you’ve been mentally ill for years. Even the smallest things break you and trigger you.

— you slowly realize this world isn’t made for mentally ill people in any way

— you’re tired / fatigued all the time. You have been for years now. You simply exist but you aren’t capable of living anymore. Your illnesses have taken everything that made you feel alive. You’re nothing but a shell. A body.

[theapplepielifestyle]

“Friendship in marriage is its own thing: friendship in a cup of tea, or a glass of wine, or a cappuccino every Sunday morning. Friendship in buying undershirts and underpants. Friendship in picking up a prescription or rescuing the towed car. Friendship in waiting for the phone call after the mammogram. Friendship in toast buttered just so. Friendship in shoveling the snow. I am the one you want to tell. You are the one I want to tell.”

— Elizabeth Alexander, The Light of the World: A Memoir (via iriseslonging)

[godmechanic]

"The issue of marriage for same-sex couples, as for cross-sex couples, is whether God can bind us together for life, to prepare us for life with himself; whether life with another can prepare us for life in Trinity. This is because our true end is in no human other, but in God. Sexuality and marriage are practice for this: that my destiny lies in Another whom I cannot control."

Same Sex Marriage as an Ascetic Practice, Eugene Rogers

[awesomebutunpractical]

Here’s the thing. Practical self-care, such as showering, feeding yourself, talking a walk, cleaning your space, getting rest, ect. will not solve every problem you have. Especially the big, serious ones. But it will solve a ton of smaller problems that are building up, adding to your stress, and using the energy you need to cope with those big serious problems.

You can feel as awful as you want, just eat a sandwich first.

[hestia-and-the-court]

I think there’s this little instinct we have that rejects solutions to our problems if I feel better after getting my sandwich that means my problems are less valid and therefore if I want my pain to be REAL it can’t be relieved in any way which is nonsense the reason why my problems feel smaller when I take care of myself is that I have more energy to cope with them and that’s a GOOD thing The whole “oh must be nice to think that getting outside cures depression” movement is not in my opinion a victim complex so much as it’s a “I’m in pain and when you try to give me an easy solution it feels like you’re not listening to me” reaction 

tags by awesomebutunpractical

[maemaybe]

I’m no longer holding myself responsible for crossing people’s unstated, unspoken boundaries. 

I’m no longer holding myself responsible for “reading” people and figuring out how they really feel about me and exactly how I need to behave to earn their friendship or make them happy. I will not hold myself to that standard of hypervigilance. 

In my relationships with adults, I will allow them to be responsible for communicating their needs, wants, and boundaries. It is their job to communicate with me about these things. And it’s their job to work on it if talking about needs, wants, and boundaries is hard for them. That’s not my responsibility either. 

I’m taking responsibility for communicating my own needs, wants and boundaries so that the people in my life can be close to me without fear of crossing unseen boundaries or unintentionally hurting me. I’m learning to speak up about these things before resentment builds, before relationships are damaged. 

I’m letting go of any guilt I feel when I set boundaries, because I recognize that when I set healthy boundaries they bring my friends closer to me, they don’t push them away. 

[youhavewonme]

I'm neurodivergent as well as disabled and "10 minute blocking" has changed my life.

I find completing tasks really challenging because I either get super overwhelmed, distracted, or my pain/fatigue levels rise too much and I get defeated.

So I recently introduced the 10 Minute Block rule. It's super simple. I simply pick one thing I need to do, set a timer usually for 10 mins (+/- 5 mins depending on fatigue/pain levels) and then go go go! And I try and do as much of that one thing as I can within the time limit. The rule is that I have to stop after 10 minutes.

If I feel spurred on after the 10 mins is up, then I'm free to start another 10 minute block (either to carry on with the same task or start a new one) and do this repeatedly for as long as I wish, but I absolutely must stop after each block and assess how my body is doing and finish blocking when my body tells me to.

If I am feeling defeated or tired or whatever after 10 mins, even if the task isn't finished, I stop. I rest, congratulate myself on doing those 10 minutes, and then find something fun/restorative to do instead without feeling guilty.

It's really improved my perceived perception of productivity as well as taught me how to pace my body better.

I don't know if this will be helpful to any of you, but it's something that I wish I'd known about sooner and has helped me so I thought I'd share it.

[serenityquest]

It's a new Day ..I'm becoming who I really am..

Me: Hello God.

God: Hello...

Me: I’m falling apart. Can you put me back together?

God: I'd rather not.

Me: Why?

God: Because you're not a puzzle.

Me: What about all the pieces of my life that fall to the ground?

God: Leave them there for a while. They fell for a reason. Let them be there for a while and then decide if you need to take any of those pieces back.

Me: You don't understand! I'm breaking!

God: No, you don't understand. You're transcending, evolving.

What you feel are growing pains. You're getting rid of the things and people in your life that are holding you back. The pieces are not falling down. The pieces are being put in place. Relax. Take a deep breath and let those things you no longer need fall down. Stop clinging to pieces that are no longer for you. Let them fall. Let them go.

Me: Once I start doing that, what will I have left?

God: Only the best pieces of yourself.

Me: I'm afraid to change.

God: I keep telling you: YOU'RE NOT CHANGING! YOU'RE BECOMING!

Me: Becoming, Who?

God: Becoming who I created you to be! A person of light, love, charity, hope, courage, joy, mercy, grace and compassion. I made you for so much more than those shallow pieces you decided to adorn yourself with and that you cling to with so much greed and fear. Let those things fall off you. I love you! Don't change! Become! Don't change! Become! Become who I want you to be, who I created. I'm gonna keep telling you this until you remember.

Me: There goes another piece.

God: Yes. Let it be like this.

Me: So... I'm not broken?

God: No, but you're breaking the darkness, like dawn. It's a new day. Become!! Become who you really are!!"

-John Roedel — feeling human.

[serenityquest]

[aboonoor]

If you want to know how much someone loves you, you should see how patient they are with you.

Patience in human love can translate into: “I love you for who you are, and even more for the person you have the potential to be, and for this reason I want to stay by your side and help you reach the best version of yourself.”

What’s beautiful about patient love is that it only gets stronger as time goes on. It’s a beautiful correlation. It’s like incense, the more it burns, the more fragrant it becomes.

Patient love means loving the seed even before it becomes the tree. It is only right that the patient gardener is given the fruits of the tree, they deserve they very best of it. They constantly watered and took care of it even when the seed was out of sight in the ground.

Perhaps even the seed doubted itself, but the patient gardener assured it by taking care of it, even when it was surrounded by dirt and felt all alone.

[beingdreeyore]

BPD Books

If you’re looking to increase your understanding of the way the brain works in BPD, or just in general, or want something specifically for DBT or mindfulness skills, these are the books that I have read (well, demolished is probably the more appropriate word…). I’m talking notes in the margin, scrawling reminders on post-it notes, and highlighting my favourite quotes on Goodreads, constantly referring back to, kind of demolished…

If you’re wanting to read one but not sure where to start or want to ask questions before you buy one, feel free to comment or send an ask. Lots of you have asked me lately about what I’ve read, so here you go 💙

(To be completely honest, I’m also posting this so I can keep track myself… There are a few I’ve inhaled lately. Hopefully not at the expense of my impending exams… Eek!).

Specifically for BPD & DBT:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – Marsha M Linehan

Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder – Blaise Aguirre & gillian Galen

Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder – Shari Y Manning & Marsha M Linehan

I Hate you, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding The Borderline Personality – Jerold J Kreisman

High Conflict Couple: A DBT Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, & Validation – Alan E Fruzzetti

Coping With BPD: DBT and CBT Skills to Soothe the Symptoms of BPD – Blaise Aguirre & Gillian Galen

Borderline Personality Disorder Toolbox – Jeff Riggenbach

Beyond Borderline: True Stories of Recovery From BPD – John G Gunderson & Perry D Hoffman

The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide – Alexander Chapman

The Buddha & The Borderline – Kiera van Gelder

The DBT Skills Workbook – Jeffrey C Wood

The DBT Diary – Matthew McKay

The Mindfulness Solution for Intense Emotions – Cedar R Koons, Marsha M Linehan

Girl, Interrupted – Susanna Kaysen

Stop Sabotaging: A 31 Day DBT Challenge to Change Your Life – Debbie Corso

This Is Not The End: Conversations on Borderline Personality Disorder – Tabetha Martin

Mindfulness &/or Meditation:

Radical Acceptance: Awakening The Love That Heals Fear and Shame – Tara Brach

The Miracle of Mindfulness – Thich Nhat Hanh

Wake Up Now – Stephan Bodian

How To Relax – Thich Nhat Hanh

How to Sit – Thich Nhat Hanh

How to Walk – Thich Nhat Hanh

How to Eat – Thich Nhat Hanh

How to Love – Thich Nhat Hanh

No Mud, No Lotus – Thich Nhat Hanh

True Love – Thich Nhat Hanh

The Relaxation Response – Herbert Benson

Walking The Noble Path – Thich Nhat Hanh

Where You Go, There You Are - Jon Kabat-Zinn

Relationships:

My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward – Mark Lukach

The Course of Love – Alain de Botton

Essays in Love – Alain de Botton

Disordered Eating:

The DBT Solution for Emotional Eating – Debra L Safer

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy for Binge Eating and Bulimia – Debra L Safer

The DBT Skills Workbook for Bulimia – Ellen Astrachan-Fletcher

General Psychology:

Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor E Frankl

Advice Not Given - Dr Mark Epstein

The Trauma of Everyday Life - Mark Epstein

The Body Keeps The Score - Bessel A van der Kolk

Women Who Run With The Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Neurology, Plasticity of the Brain, & Physiology:

The Brain’s Way of Healing – Norman Doidge

The Brain That Changes Itself – Norman Doidge

Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst – Robert M Sapolsky

Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers - Robert M Sapolsky

Yogic Philosophy:

The Wisdom of Yoga - Stephen Cope

The Great Work of Your Life - Stephen Cope

Inner Engineering: A Yogi’s Guide To Joy - Sadhguru

Weird & Wonderful:

Mastering Your Mean Girl – Melissa Ambrosini

The Pocket Rumi - Rumi 

How Proust Can Change Your Life - Alain de Botton

BPD with Relatable Fictional Characters

Eloping is For Losers by Alice Morrison

And waiting to be read on my Kindle or desk…

The Five Invitations - Frank Ostaseski 

Happy reading and skills practice 💙