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trying on a metaphor
blake kathryn
DEAR READER
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if i look back, i am lost
todays bird
noise dept.
wallacepolsom
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@elisabethdeep-blog
Saw an ad for Hard Chewing Gum
Which sounds great tbh, I have Stress and Frustrations and I like to Bite about it, count me in for the chewing gum that chews back. Make it vinegar flavoured while you're there.
It's marketed as jawline fitness.
The men are not ok.
Radio told me that dentists bottom the list of 'datable professions'. No one's out here dating dentists.
Which makes sense.
They're friends with benefits.
I went to my local wine shop, purchased a mid range bottle of champagne, put it on the top shelf of the fridge to chill, and will open it when it happens. And every day I open the fridge and see that bottle I will remember it might happen today, or it might not. But it will definitely happen some day.
In my fridge, in the door, is a bottle of the same bubbly my sister in law bought my spouse and me for our wedding. It’s queer branded, wrapped in a rainbow, and it is For The Occasion. Sometimes I touch the bottle and hope really, really hard.
Every time I go through the wine shop at the local fancy grocery I eyeball the champagne. Hard.
I don’t have my Bottle For The Occasion yet, but I am inspired by your excellent examples, and will go ahead and procure one.
And I’d like to add, because I am always conscious that some people do not partake of the spirits, that if you are looking for a non-alcoholic alternative to champagne that still feels fancy, Martinelli’s sparkling juice is delicious and comes in very pretty bottles and looks good in a champagne flute.
and your thing doesn't have to be a drink of any kind at ALL you can have some nice thing you're waiting to crack open to celebrate when it happens, whatever totem you want. it's just nice to have a physical reminder around the house that death comes for us all you know?
One day the champagnes will all be drunk. And this post will be beyond the ken of modern folk.
disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.
"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me
"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.
I'm really cranky and I know what the trigger was and I know why it's a trigger and it's outside my ability AND inclination to control and I also know that and it's ALSO literally juvenile as in a holdover from my own juvens and none of that is making the UNCRANK.
I probably need to have a cry about it but like.
That's such a pain.
I'm really cranky and I know what the trigger was and I know why it's a trigger and it's outside my ability AND inclination to control and I also know that and it's ALSO literally juvenile as in a holdover from my own juvens and none of that is making the UNCRANK.
I cannot recommend bringing your heritage and culture into how you view media enough.
It is important to consider the culture of the person who created the piece, absolutely; but the different perspectives offered by the viewers is fascinating in and of itself and does not always detract from the message.
As an example, when I was younger, I watched Schindler's List. This movie is famously shot in black and white except for one section, concerning a little girl in a red coat. The camera follows her until her eventual death.
I am Turtle Island Indigenous and I was always taught that the only color spirits could see was red, because it is the color of life and blood.
So the second the girl in the red jacket came on screen, something inside me chilled with fear.
The only color in the movie was that red. At some point, I, the viewer, had died.
I remember sobbing at the sight of the burning human piles that were shown, convinced I was buried in there somewhere. The reason I had only seen red on the girl was that my death was recent. I was the ash in the air mistaken for snow. I had died before her and had followed her, helplessly, until she followed me.
The message I got for that was maybe not what the creator had intended: that there was no "being clever enough" or "good enough" or "kind enough" that would shield or protect you from such a massive tidal wave of evil.
You are not exempt from tragedy, that red jacket whispered. You are not special.
When I told some of my white friends about my experience with viewing Schindler's List, some were shocked and the rest just out-and-out mocked me for my "media illiteracy".
"it was just a filming trick to make you feel something," I remember one saying, which terrified me. How had he not felt anything even before she showed up?
However, when I repeated my viewing to a college class, they were fascinated. The implications of what I had seen and felt made the film all the more terrifying and solemn. It encouraged a lot of people to try to ask themselves what media meant from a cultural perspective, where they hadn't done that before.
aaaaaaaagh just saw some dickhead GROSSLY misrepresent sexual selection processes in an anti-intellectualist polemic mess of a post the core thesis of which was 'intelligence is Just A Trait' which I AGREE WITH why are you so EVIL ABOUT IT?
Like I'm 98% sure the rest of his insta is all about 'high value men' and 'alpha' bullcrap so the post is just about furnishing manosphere dickwits with ironically 'intellectual' language to dismiss intelligence as not morally neutral but actually 'mutated frontal lobes that predispose the species to dopamine addiction and genocide' and I hadta come here to bitch about it cos I've already pumped his insta numbers enough.
Whenever Americans use Cryillic like. That. I just. Instantly shrivel up an cry
Like idk how to tell you this but н isnt h and и isnt n
It’s true and you should say it.
Я isnt R
Р isnt P
В isnt B
If you want to explain, what does it mean then? 0.0
н makes n sound,и makes ee sound, я makes ya sound, р makes r sound, в makes v sound
you mean, like, ня?
oh no. It can be made with Cyrillic now
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE EXPLAINED
OH. GOD.
THATS SO FUNNY
little me was so confused & annoyed when i found out that bears do not come in small, domestic sizes. my favorite plushie was a teddy bear; i planned to own a pet bear when i grew up. i assumed bears would come in a range of sized, like dogs. ideally mine would be about the size of winnie the pooh/a small child. they would be heavy but still capable of sitting on my lap while i rubbed their belly. they would have a little playground set in the backyard. we would go for walks in the forest and have picnics. i had solid reasonings:
1) my stuffed animals were mostly dogs and cats and bears, implying that bears were a future pet option
2) bears were more human shaped than dogs or cats so naturally they were both capable of both domesticity and humanlike behavior. i envisioned it like having a short lil buddy with the intelligence of a small child. a little pal i could cuddle with who would hang out with me at the beach on weekends. we would go on a road trip together. we would have tea parties together, which would be cute bc bears don't drink tea or have the dexterity to sip from a teacup, but they are smart enough to be taught to hold a (very very sturdy) cup between their paws and pretend. i was going to wear straw hats and we would sit in the garden, my little pet bear and me. these were concrete plans i had and yet i must live here in this petty thieving devastation of a reality, where tiny bears do not frolick and lick jam off my fingers.
I know it’s not the same, but may I suggest: Tibetan Mastiffs
no see i want a miniature bear. miniature
the smallest bear alive right now is the sun bear, a tree climbing expert living in tropical climate. a quick research produced this image.
they are also pretty cute
this!!! precisely this!!!! i shall put them in a little hat and teach them to hold a teacup with their pinky paw extended. marvelous!!!!!
Someone must've shown gaud the uncanny sun bear angles, right?
My job had a training on AI and I was surprised how honest it was about AI’s limitations and problems, and we spent our activity time finding errors and issues with responses made by AI. But it did beg the question, why would I use this
The trainer was like, think of AI as an intern, student worker, or new coworker! They can do tasks for you, but be sure to carefully check their work.
We just established that this “new coworker” is racist, sexist, and can’t do math - why would I ask for their help??
Also isn't the point of working with the newbie or intern to develop them? It's an investment in a future competent colleague. AI will always need checking and produces no competent adults.
no nuance you have to decide
would jeeves have succumbed to the one ring?
no, he would diminish and go into the west and remain a valet
yes, he can't resist such power (burn bertie's ugliest trousers)
the ring has no effect on him, tom bombadil style
4 days left in the most important 'thoughts had just before going to sleep' poll I've ever made
"Well, Jeeves," I said, "That seems to be that."
"A consummation greatly desired," Jeeves agreed.
"The forces of darkness vanquished, the rightful king upon his throne, and all that. And, even more importantly, Tuppy Glossop disengaged from that horsy female and returned to the bosom of my cousin Angela."
"Indeed, sir."
"Rather a shock running into the Reverend Aubry Upjohn riding that fell beast, what?"
"I though you displayed great alacrity in relocating to that ditch in the nick of time, sir."
Far below us, the molten lava did a rather spirited impersonation of boiling soup. I mopped the p. off the b. with a handkerchief I'd improvised from an orc loincloth. I had been to some deuced uncomfortable country estates in my time, don't you know, but at least there one had been able to toddle downstairs and pour oneself a quick W. and S. as needed to stiffen the sinews. Galadriel's Buck-U-Uppo was excellent at vitalizing the limbs to forge on the last dreadful mile and all that, but it lacked the comfort that speaks to the soul.
I contemplated the glowing river. "Redirecting the army of Aunts to that Isengard place was a stroke of brilliance, I thought."
"You are too kind, sir."
"Still, all things must end, as they say. Travel is broadening to the mind and all, but it is past time to attend the call of heart and home. Among other considerations, I think something took residence inside this mithril shirt somewhere around the Morgul Vale and has been wandering about biting hither and thither ever since, and I am filled with the desire to strip it off and do battle with the blighted thing."
"Understandable, sir."
"I heard rather a good one the other day: Sing hey! for the bath at close of day that washes the weary mud away! -and by Jove if I don't think they were on to something, Jeeves."
"It is undeniably felicitous to be surrounded by the comforts of home," he assented, and yet I couldn't escape a certain sense of firmness about his gaze.
I sighed, for I knew what he wanted. Well, I mean, I'm all for taking a firm stance and not being trodden on in one's own home and all, but as far as rallying around to save the young master goes, none could have rallied more greatly than Jeeves. If a little firmness was the price I had to pay, well, so be it.
Slowly I undid the old school tie from around my neck. It was harder work than one would have thought; as if it could hear what was rattling around in the old brain, the ring that was threaded on it put in a last surge of effort in the gleaming and enticement department, filling my mind with heady visions: Freddie Widgeon gnashing his teeth as I sank yet another dart into the bullseye, Aunt Agatha wreathed in tears and begging my forgiveness for ever having misjudged me, Jeeves gazing admiringly as I displayed my newest waistcoat for his edification…
It was the last that broke the spell. Cursed objects of all-consuming power were all well and good in their sphere, but there were limits, don't you know? And yet I hesitated. "You don't think I could slip it on and just have a quick total domination of the world before I toddle around to the Drones for a stiff one?"
Jeeves gave a gentle cough of reproof. "I think you will find it for the best, sir."
It was a wrench, but one could not deny the man had earned it. With a heavy hand, I held the ring out to him. "Take it, then. You will know what do with it, I'm sure."
He took it from me with the sort of shimmer that showed he was exceptionally gratified. "Thank you, sir."
I watched as the ring fell from his hand into the depths below. It hit the lava and rested there for a moment before slowly sinking beneath the glowing surface, and as they caught fire I almost felt that the Old Etonian colors glowed brighter in approval. That Wooster, they seemed to say: not much in the brains department, but he gets the job done.
Outside, there came a hideous wailing as of something ages old abruptly losing the power which bound it to this mortal plain and all that, which I took as our signal to leg it down the nearest drainpipe before things got sticky. The road goes ever on and on, what? Yet I paused there, at the end of all things, because some things have to be said.
"No, thank you, Jeeves."
THANK YOU for understanding the assignment, bally good work, this.
All of this is the cheffest of kiss
What's a book written by a woman that changed your life or that you consider a classic? Any genre, any language.
did Scott McCloud transition or
Tortall series by Tamora Pierce
i had a dream last night that the entire world used a currency (?) called angrypennies which as the name implies are obtained by experiencing anger. the stronger and more intense your anger was, the more angrypennies you'd gain. an all-consuming rage would earn you more than a slight irritation, etc. so people were always searching for ways to fuel their anger and purposefully keeping themselves angry all the time because they wanted to earn angrypennies. unclear if angrypennies could be exchanged for goods and services, or if they were just a collectible.
anyway, as if this wasn't heavy-handed enough, at one point british comedian greg davies appeared and explained that angrypennies couldn't be worth feeling angry all the time. this was a real revelation to dream-me and i was finally able to break free of the angrypenny grind and allow myself to experience emotions other than anger.
it goes without saying that i will be using the word angrypenny as if it was part of the common vernacular instead of a term that my dreaming brain conjured up i.e. "he's all about the angrypennies" (derogatory way to refer to a guy who searches for reasons to be angry and possibly lacks introspection)
What is up with lefty types pushing to learn practical skills (sewing/gardening/etc whatever) as like "you'll need to know this after The Revolution:tm:" and not, like, "this is a useful skill to help yourself & others in your communities Right Now". You all sound like doomsday preppers and it's weirding me out. We don't have to prep for communist rapture maybe thee revolution starts with helping your neighbors
My dad likes looking at something I've made or something I've mended, with practical skills and time and attention, and point out that the item is 5 bucks at Kmart.
My post apocalypse framing, apart from being a funny hyperbole which it also is and is reason enough, is also a shortcut to obviate the devaluation of my interests by oppressive capitalist brainworms.
It's not a real reason. I know what the real reasons are. But in conversation, preparing for zombie apocalypse is snappy whilst still gesturing to the real reason; there are other frameworks of value than the dollar
nothing better than the wrong capitalization of Sie
#‘’we are obliged to keep this data for 4 weeks after which it will be destroyed’’#versus#‘’we are obliged to keep this data for 4 weeks after which YOU will be destroyed’’
you’re right. after which you will be absolutely fucking obliterated
Ich will das Twink vernichtet
