living out loud

ellen, twenty six, texas. I write things because I feel things. twitter: @ellen_outloud IG: d.nele_

[poemswords]

“We acquire a particular quality by acting in a particular way.”

— Aristotle (via philosophyquotes)

[ellenoutloud-blog]

“Why should I have to apologize It has only just occurred to me during a recent (and let’s be honest, often) mental breakdown That I say “I’m sorry” like I am asking for permission to be myself My mental illness is not a curse My depression is not a black cloak Not an identifying badge I will wear draped around my neck to remind others to tread lightly I, will not tread lightly It is a blessing to have the heart that I do I wear it proudly stitched to my too baggy sleeves My mind is a dark place only to those who do not let themselves feel They tell me sadness is not normal To think of suicide as a relief and not a burden is not normal To that I say, I do not care what you think That is not to say that I do not care about you Or anything Because I believe I care about everything and everyone possibly too much And maybe that is the reason for the hollow, aching weight in my chest I have grown used to the feeling of being trapped By words, people, a medicine bottle, a diagnosis I fit into many checked boxes And some days, none at all”

— “Boxes” rough draft #1 | E. Day, July 2017

[ellenoutloud-blog]

quick words

I’m not quite sure where my brain has been where the breath from my lungs has gone where the love for these hands has gone

they have been on holiday, I think taking a much needed break from the torment 

I’m sorry

[ellenoutloud-blog]

Untitled and unfinished | 04092018

I am torn between hating every ounce of this body / and / loving this soul that still claws her way out of bed every morning / regardless of the way my mind distorts my face / this glass house of a frame/ I say I am chubby and they say / no / you are beautiful / as if one can not coincide with the other / as if I must fit into the palms of their hands to be the certain kind of beautiful men want to bury themselves in / as if every piece must be perfectly sculpted / like butter, only we don’t eat it /

[buttonpoetry]

From Rudy Francisco’s book, HELIUM.

[ellenoutloud-blog]

sorry yall, I’ve been gone a while, but I’m back.

[ellenoutloud-blog]

yall. it has been too long since I have been on here. a few months, actually. I haven't written in months. no inspiration, no motivation. 

[visual-poetry]

»what are we going to do with all this future?« by coco capitán (for gucci’s art wall project)

[via]

[ellenoutloud-blog]

Y’all I’m in Texas now. Wat.

[teacup13-deactivated20200319]

There’s a someday waiting around the corner of your heartbreak.

[sunflower-cane]

What a great time to remember disabled LGBT people exist and should be loved.

[poems-and-word]

[rabbruad1]

“Loving makes life worth living.”

— Bruce Adler

[fearlessknightsandfairytales]

[ellenoutloud-blog]

Took a mental break, y’all.

Sorry. I’m back now.

[poems-and-word]

[scorpy]