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sandersstudies

A lot of you on here sure don’t like the idea of making any kind of sacrifice for the benefit of others huh

sandersstudies

Some of you act like doing minor inconvenient acts of kindness is equivalent to donating a kidney as if it’s not those acts that form our communities and make the world go around.

nemurenaivoron

I'm willing to bet there's a massive overlap between people who hate the idea of making sacrifices for others and people who were bullied and abused as kids.

In a very simplistic model of social interactions one could grow up in, you can make out two major groups:

Group 1: "Meanies not allowed" - if Sam is nice to Alex, and Alex repeatedly does not return the kindness, Sam and other children think Alex is a bad person and refuse to play with them.

Group 2: "Servitude is weakness" - if Sam is kind and helps Alex whenever asked, Alex gets used to using Sam's services without feeling the need to return the kindness back, and Alex and other children believe that Sam is a weakling and does not deserve any respect.

The situation between Sam and Alex in both groups is roughly the same, but their surroundings (other children serving as the third party judges) and Sam's ability to protect their own boundaries decides which group they fall into.

I believe for Group 1 Sam it would be normal to do minor and even major sacrifices for the good of others because they know through their experience that it will be rewarded in some way or another down the line. It is The Right Thing To Do.

Group 2 Sam, however, knows through their experience that acts of service lead to abuse, and people they help will spit in their face and walk over them later on. In some cases Sam might still do it as an act of martyrdom or due to their moral beliefs, but their perspective on kindness and the meaning of sacrifice for the benefit of others will be very very different from Group 1 Sam.