emmy @emandemms - Tumblr Blog

my father mentioned ryan gosling today and i swear i could feel the dopamine receptors in my brain vibrating the moment i heard his name. like fuck it's that serious isn't it???

#we were talking about football movies (don't ask) and remember the titans came up #and my dad looks right at me and says ryan gosling is in it #like thanks dad i know i've seen it before i watched it like a month ago #ryan gosling #rygos

i never thought that the first multi-chapter fic i'd ever get around to actually posting would be for a sorta kinda niche crossover, but here we are... around 40k words of coltland content i feel like a woman possessed.

#i wanted to write something the moment this au was birthed on twt but it took a while for me to get to it #i have been entranced by the angst that is coltland twins #something something it doesn't matter how much you love someone it's just sometimes not enough and you have to live with that #aaaUUGHHHH #coltland twins #colt seavers #ryland grace #the fall guy #project hail mary

i feel like a little kid standing next to my parents' bed in the middle of the night going "i threw up" whenever i ask my mother if she wants to go see project hail mary with me for the nth time.

#she loves it too but it's getting out of hand #i almost feel bad for her #going to ask again tho bc it's still in theaters and i am going to take advantage of that #i've also seen it solo but it's fun watching it with someone else so #phm #phm movie #project hail mary #project hail mary movie

nothing quite like the fact that i read like the first four or so chapters of the summer hikaru died as it was first coming out (around the time when i was coming to terms with the fact that i was queer) and being like “oh, this makes me uncomfortable because i kinda see myself in this story and idk why the fact that this very obviously gay boy is making me really sad whenever he thinks about his dead best friend who he was probably in love with and is connecting with this new version of him who is actually a monster that Kills People”. and then like a few years later being way more comfortable in my sexuality and out of the small town i grew up in when the anime was released and kinda being like “yeah… yeah, the signs were there and this is actually gut-wrenching and heartbreaking and nearly unbearably relatable oh my god this is peak”. on another note, i need volume 7 to be released like immediately i need to get my hands on it NOW!!!

#i know this ain't a unique experience which is kinda magical in it's own way like look at all of us relating to this #everyone say thank you mokumoku!!!#the summer hikaru died #hikaru ga shinda natsu #tshd #yoshiki tsujinaka #hikaru indou

yoshiki tsujinaka is painfully relatable in a whole lot of ways but all it took for me was the fact that he's a country kid and queer and has stomach issues to boot.

#little gay country kid who constantly has a tummy ache = me = yoshiki #like yeah the whole repressed homosexual in a place where being gay is seen as a sin and gross and awful is a whole thing #but being gay AND having stomach problems??? yep that's literally me i see you yoshiki #daily routine for me is taking my medicine for my stomach issues to only have said medicine cause stomach issues #where are all my queer folks with stomach issues at????#the summer hikaru died #tshd #hikaru ga shinda natsu #yoshiki tsujinaka #tshd yoshiki

truthfully i have consumed very little naruto content BUT i do know for a fact that naruto and sasuke are in love with each other because why else would they be Like That???

#i know what i know and i see what i see #that's all i'm saying #naruto #naruto uzumaki #sasuke uchiha #sns #narusasu #sasunaru

trigun is crazy because why is it making me, an atheist, want to read the bible?

#there's so many references that i just don't get and i KNOW i'm missing out on #i have the most basic understanding of some of the biblical stuff in it and the fomo from not fully understanding it is driving me crazy #will i read it??? probably not but i'm thinking about it... a lot...#the abel and cain stuff too ohhhhh my god #i don't have enough knowledge to get how sad those parallels are #trigun #trigun 98 #trigun manga #trigun maximum #trigun stampede #trigun stargaze #vash the stampede #vash #millions knives

if i think about dick (grayson) for too long i start crying.

#totally normal behavior btw #nothing gets between a girl and the superhero/vigilante that she chose when she was like 10 #i took one look at him and said yeah i think this one is gonna permanently change my worldview and give me hope or something #dick grayson #richard grayson #nightwing #robin #batman #dc robin #dc nightwing #dc batman #dc #dc comics

i love all the robins, i really really do, but dick grayson... he is so special idk how to describe it. you just can't outdo the doer i fear.

#just finished the most recent issue of batman and robin: year one and i am UNWELL #bruce and dick's relationship is so wonderfully complicated and tender and is imo one of the best runs of these two we've had in a while #i don't want any arguing over who is technically a better robin they're all good in their own ways y'all just fucking haters #anyways go read batman and robin: year one immediately!!!!!!#dick grayson #richard grayson #bruce wayne #batman #robin #nightwing #dickbin #dc batman #dc robin #dc comics #dc

currently thinking about damian wayne, who is a boy raised in violence and blood and death and was taught that pain was absolute, only to have a chance to grow outside of that environment and realize that life is full of warmth and art and beauty and there are things he wants to care for and protect in this world.

#something something these hands were once covered in the blood of the lives they took and now they are used to heal #doctor damian wayne truther over here idc what y'all say IT'S REAL TO ME!!!!!#damian wayne #damian al ghul #dc robin #dc batman #dc #dc comics #batman #robin

seeing yuri dickkori on my dash has reminded me why life is worth living.

#please keep it up artists i owe you my LIFE #KEEP IT COMING KEEP IT COMING #dick grayson #koriand'r #starfire #nightwing #dc #robin #dc robin #yuri

i feel like people forget that antilochus was also with achilles and patroclus in the underworld in that one scene the odyssey. like yeah it's great that achilles and patroclus were reunited in death, but their best friend who had to grieve for them both was also able to see them again.

#antilochus son of nestor you mean so much to me #me when besties do their besties thing #incomprehensible sobbing and screaming and wailing #this shit makes me so sad i cannot #imagine thinking you'll never get to see your friends again after they die in war but then you get to be with them for eternity after death #just saying #the iliad #iliad #the odyssey #achilles #patroclus #antilochus

telemachus and pisistratus are THE best friends to me you don't understand. like yeah they got quite a few things in common, but their fathers are both Old Men who are (absent) legends and that's the strongest bond of all.

#trust me nothing strengthens a bond more than both of y'all having old parents #i know from experience #love that peisistratus just says “hell yeah” when telemachus is all like “dude i'm going to sparta to look for my dad you down?"#get you a bro who would travel across the sea with you just because #also big brother peisistratus is so important to me #he's the youngest of nestor's sons but telemachus is younger than him so he gets to be the person that someone looks up to #and telemachus is an only child so peisistratus being that sort of older brother/friend figure is so #telemachus #peisistratus #pisistratus #odysseus #nestor #the odyssey

something about diomedes and achilles, man. both mighty warriors, but one must linger on this earth and endure while the other goes out in an inferno of rage and glory.

#sick and twisted if you ask me #will i ever shut up about the similarities between them?? absolutely not #when i think about diomedes for too long i get sad bc wdym all he was ever good for was waging wars for men older than him??#wdym he only fought another man's battle???#i don't play favorites trust except i do and it's definitely diomedes #iliad #the iliad #achilles #diomedes

should've known i was queer about a decade ago when my favorite book series ever was the leviathan trilogy. the signs were there and i am apparently illiterate!!

#yes i did watch the new netflix show and yes i am rereading the books immediately #was reminded of how incredibly obsessed i was and FOR GOOD REASON!!!!!!#a book for the bisexuals and genderqueer if i ever did see one #good god no i really should've known i was queer as fuck those books woke something up in me i swear #anyways go read leviathan by scott westerfeld like yesterday guys #deryn sharp #aleksandar von hohenberg #leviathan trilogy #leviathan series #scott westerfeld

waiting to see superman until this weekend has me feeling like i'm walking through a hallway covered in legos and it's pitch black so i can't see shit and every lego is a spoiler. i will die if i step on a lego.

#i'm handling this very well btw #i need to see david corenswet on the big screen now or i'll combust #guys this is actually driving me crazy idk how much longer i can do this #no it's thursday i'm almost there i can do it!!!!!!!!#i've been waiting since the movie was announced i'm loosing my GODDAMN MIND #superman #clark kent #david corenswet #superman 2025 #dc

patroclus stronger than me because if there was an androgynous fine piece of ass with anger issues treating me like i was the only person in the entire world that he could tolerate, i don't know what i'd do.

#on my i love patroclus bullshit once again #the realest motherfucker who ever did grace the pages #the iliad #iliad #achilles #patroclus

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