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“The truth about childhood is stored up in our body and lives in the depth of our soul. Our intellect can be deceived, our feeligns can be numbed and manipulated, our perception shamed and confused, our bodies tricked with medication. But our soul never forgets. And because we are one, one whole soun in one body, someday our body will present its bill” - Alice Miller

[yugioh-cards-hourly]

[embracethemomentandlive]

Fun Fact: Fabled Ragin was one of the first cards I got when I got back into Yugioh.  I stopped getting yugioh cards before the end of the original series because my parents thought I was “too old” for playing card games.... Prior to finishing high school I started working as a tutor and used some of that extra money to purchase some yugioh cards here and there... and now I have a giant shelf dedicated to all my yugioh stuff xD haha jokes on them!!!

[badsciencejokes]

…I almost killed myself

I put on my sunglasses, to hide my swollen eyes, over my tears. I cried all my makeup off. Went inside to have a milkshake. I don’t know why. I wanted something to drink as I figured out what I would do. I got a soda and a milkshake. Medium. The cashier looked at me and with a line around the corner of the counter he rushed away from the counter “Hold on “ he yelled to a coworker.

I filled my soda and went back and saw him looking all over. I go up and he gets close and says “I made it a large”.

That was seriously enough for me not to do it. His kindness. Someone went out of their way and as I went back in my car to cry I realized I could muster through a few other days. A few more weeks. Then I came down from that panicky high of anxiety, depression, and pain. I finished my shake. And it was enough time to let me feel better. I… I’m alive. I’ll make it through.

Try and be nice today. Tomorrow. Something as much as a smile. It helped so much.

Thank you man at McDonalds.

The milkshake saved my life

[blackheartseverywhere]

I hope you all can read this and remember to be kind

[the-quiet-priestess]

The smallest of gestures can save a life. My Mum answered her phone when I called and I am alive today because of that.

[badsciencejokes]

I’m glad you’re here.

It’s a phone call, a milkshake, a friend.

[badsciencejokes]

I feel like I shouldn’t keep reblogging this but when I do more people see what kindness can do…. I don’t know. Love everyone as yourself.

[nunyabizni]

Nah, keep rebloging it. It gives hope.

[embracethemomentandlive]

Sorry

I'm sorry for all those I've annoyed over the years. Won't happen again. I promise.

[embracethemomentandlive]

This Is Water - Full version-David Foster Wallace Commencement Speech

Commencement Speech to Kenyon College class of 2005 written by David Foster Wallace

[embracethemomentandlive]

The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose

Kahlil Gibran

[embracethemomentandlive]

Some of my best memories are with those that can't stand me. Some of my worst memories are with those that are closest to me. But I wouldn't change a thing. Because these are what make me who I am

[embracethemomentandlive]

sometimes you gotta make your own happiness

[embracethemomentandlive]

looks like my body has reached it’s limits...

[embracethemomentandlive]

A crimson tone amongst shades of grey An irresistible sight amongst the motions Dazzled by the beauty I must say Drawn to the streaks of Crimson amongst the ocean Every approach a little short Every opportunity missed by a hair Sort through the masses, in vein I sort This once a single pedal glides through the air Alas! Something to hold on to, Something to remember A portion of that Crimson, a member A reason to continue, the search continues And perhaps in vein but not without hope

[embracethemomentandlive]

Senior update

Well then guess I'm on my last 8 weeks as an undergraduate. It's bitter sweet. I can't imagine not seeing the people I've seen and shared memories with for the last 4 years ever again. I can't imagine not living with the same 3 nut jobs that I've lived with for 4 years. But I guess it's time to move on I've accepted that. I have 2 certification tests and cpr certification after that we will see where life takes me

[embracethemomentandlive]

Senior

Senior me is finally back to the same level of focus and intensity of Freshman me.  Where did I lose track of myself?  At what point did I stop being myself for other people?  More importantly what happened to me?  Oh well, looking back I really wish my college life was different.  I didn't do as much as I wanted.  I didn't make a difference like I originally wanted.  The more I tried to change the more I stayed the same.  I wanted to make deep and meaningful relationships but I don't know how many of those I have or how many I have ever had.  People said we drift apart from our high school friends as we make new friends and meet others.  that just hasn't happened for me.  I still have the same best friend from forever ago.  I never really made new friends.  I didn't really live life.  Even now as I sit here in my room and try talking to people no one responds.  I haven't been able to meet many people I would call friends.  Sure I surround myself with people whenever I am outside and about but deep down when I come home my friends stay outside.  None of them try to talk to me outside of class or when they see me.  Am I really that uninteresting?

[embracethemomentandlive]

doggie :)

[embracethemomentandlive]

This girl

there's this girl i like. Sadly they don't like me back :/ oh the struggle lol

[embracethemomentandlive]

My dream :)

I know I don't have many followers or even people who read what I post but today is a big day for me.  Today i signed up for my certification class for becoming a health and wellness coach.  For those of you who don't know me I've always wanted to help people, even when I didn't know it.  As a child i became a peace keeper, I took conflict resolution in jr high and the trend just continued.  At first i wanted to become a psychologist or a counselor more specifically but in college i realized i couldn't deal with hearing about people problems all the time and then i discovered health and wellness where we focus on the problem before it happens instead of working on damage control.  I hope i can achieve what I've always wanted to do with my life.  :)

[embracethemomentandlive]

I don't know what happened but I'm all alone on a Thursday night while everyone else is drinking and having fun with their close friends. Yet somehow I don't feel lonely. I don't feel depressed. I feel happy. I feel relaxed. For the first time in my life I don't crave interaction with other people i just feel content. Maybe I'm just crazy but I hope I never lose this feeling. I've spent my entire life seeking other people. Seeking their approval. Seeking their affection. Now im just happy with myself. I'm confident in myself. I don't know why. Maybe i just achieved some for of harmony in myself that ive lacked my entire life.

[embracethemomentandlive]

My sister found this terrible picture of fat Steve D:

[embracethemomentandlive]

The road thus far

Stepped to the unknown Moved forward in a blaze of glory Leaving behind everything The good the bad The unfinished memories of a past unknown Found the warmth of a flame Fresh and bright Warming the heart But all fires must go out Into a dwindling mess A smoldering remnant Of what used to be majestic What little remains can still be rebuilt For a fire never truly dies A single spark can relight the world Just find the spark To reignite the flame Bring warmth back to your heart And the darkness of fear Becomes the darkness of possibility