¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I had my previous bio for like two years and I decided to change it up a little

[punksandcannonballers]

no earth spoilers please, i’m only up to the cambrian explosion

[punksandcannonballers]

i’m really loving these new dinosaur characters, i hope they stick around awhile

[punksandcannonballers]

oh fuck off

[juyeooon]

tiddies? Out

third eye? Open

they were? Roommates

hotel? Trivago

[dankest-of-lies]

Reblog this or die.

[hxtml]

[mockingbirdie]

do you ever just sit around and think I’m in my twenties.

[mangopapi-deactivated20210928]

If you’re not ready to fight an alligator over your best friend dont even think about coming to Florida

[thighetician]

Apex predators

[jamtastik]

Yooooo

[big-robot-fan]

Florida culture is living in a real life Jurassic park yet being more scared of the local people

[sinesalvatorem]

TBF, you would be too if you’d ever met Florida Man

[t3trahedron]

Hopefully this doesn’t burst anybody’s bubbles, but the video’s fake (https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/did-man-save-friend-from-reptilian-attack/)

Now, by fake I mean: the alligator wasn’t real, it was put there as a prank by some Youtubers, to record people’s reactions. So the guy a) survived, and b) reacted as he would (AKA: fought a fucking alligator to save his friend) had it been real, because neither of them knew it wasn’t.

To quote Snopes: It appears that the “elbow drop” move was actually a real, good-faith, and quite courageous response to an uncomfortably realistic and relatively low-effort prank

[lone-crusader227-deactivated202]

Ok but like…. that still doesn’t change the fact that this absolute legend genuinely thought an alligator was about to eat his friend and he ELBOW DROPPED the fucking thing to save him!!!! That’s some true ass friendship right there

[headphoneguy18-deactivated20240]

People’s Elbows!!!

[brownnesscrew]

My life.

[pr1nceshawn]

Customer Service: A Day In The Life.

[that-ugly-barnacle-blog]

I love this

[cartiercocaine-blog]

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

[jaxblade]

Beautiful madness

[aegiskitty]

This is 100% my brand of humor

[klubbhead]

[cisnowflake]

You’ve gone too far this time.

[light-reflector]

Imagine explaining this…the, the, the layers of MEME

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[oldtumblhurgoyf]

[jennamourey]

A Full Face of Rhinestones

[lovepsychothefirst]

#listen I don’t watch Jenna Marbles#I’ve never subscribed to hr channel#but there’s one thing about her that I absolutely respect#she does NOT clickbait#she fucking COMMITS to whatever bull shit she says she’s gonna do#90% of her video titles LOOK like clickbait#but then the video is EXACTLY what the title says#how many balloons does it take to life my chihuahua off the ground#I DON’T KNOW JENNA WHY DON’T YOU FIND OUT#spends entire video reporting on increasingly annoyed Party City employees#as she ties over 100 helium balloons to a sling that her dog falls asleep in#while floating 4 feet above the ground#because she fucking found out how many balloons it took#‘MY DOG RATES SOAP’ says the video title#her Italian Greyhound has some kind of soap licking neurosis and shows clear preferences#by the end of the video her dog does indeed have a favorite brand of soap#I EAT DOG TREATS WITH MY DOGS#literally does exactly that and actually enjoys like 2 of them#I don’t follow her at all but DAMN does Jenna Marbles not fuck around#she just … does exactly what she says she will#like some kind of chaotic entity that combats clickbait by being exactly as absurd as the marketing implies

[michaun]

[mynewplaidpants]

Jake Gyllenhaal and a ferret

[citymod]

[mojav]

They need to make 😔 this emoji with 🤠this hat

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

[skulltulacorpse]

when they say yeehaw but don’t ask haw yee

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Feeling tired but not wanting to go to sleep because you don’t want to miss the little time you have at home to relax from work although you are too tired to do anything else is a hopeless feeling.

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

what if mayonnaise came in cans

[smeasel]

that would suck because you can’t microwave metal…

[oatsie-deactivated20180119]

good morning to everyone except these two people

[tastefullyoffensive]

[urlreplacement5-deactivated2018]

i’m a simple man

i see my dog

i kiss him

[urlreplacement5-deactivated2018]

1 reblog = 1 kiss for 1 good boy