The Beginnings: 2013-2014 (Bandcamp Exclusive)
High school is so formative. Itās an emotional roller coaster. I was still trying to process 2012, but I was also having some of the best experiences of my life and dealing with friendship drama and planning for (and starting) my future. It all gave me some great songwriting fodder. I feel like you can hear the maturity in some of these lyrics compared to the songs I wrote in 2012. They were so fun to re-record!
I Hate Myself (For Loving You) was me realizing āThe Last Songā from 2012 would never be the last song. Not even close. But it was also me realizing that time would eventually help me out and get me over the heartbreak. Hence the bridge and last chorus!
Break My Broken Heart stemmed from one of many high school parties that all played out the same way. All of them. I knew I wasnāt over what I was dealing with, so I was trying to be extra careful with my heart, even if it meant denying myself what I thought I wanted at the time.
Canāt Hold Back absolutely happened because I used the phrase āfootloose and fancy freeā in my Tumblr name. I was in the midst of an obsession with ā80s movies and music. Footloose actually still hasnāt left me (the song or the film).
Never Again, like āBreak My Broken Heart,ā was the result of a high school party, but a night where I was a little less careful with my heart. It happens!
Iām on My Way was my way of expressing the pure joy I felt in the summer of 2013. Fresh off a second breakup, which was significantly less messy than the first, I took my first trip to New York. Everything was perfect.
Found was probably the first time I wrote about a friendās relationship and heartbreak instead of my own. (I also did this with Record High, which I released in early 2022.)
That Much clearly shows how conflicted I was when the summer ended and I went back to school. Itās much easier to move on from complicated feelings when you donāt have to see people every day, but it gets a little more confusing when you share hallways and classrooms.
Just a Memory is the epitome of āIām so sick of still grieving a relationship that ended forever ago; come on brain, letās get over it!ā This was also one of the first songs that made me feel like I was capable of writing country music.
Youāre Not Alone was me writing the words I wished someone would say to me. Senior year of high school was anxiety-filled for me; everything was about to change and I was losing friends. Letās just say it was a bad time!
LC (The Day I Got Away) was written months before āthe day I got away.ā I placed myself years in the future and reflected on my years in high school and how I felt about it. I donāt know if it was supposed to bring me comfort and make it easier to leave, but Iāve never felt the need to write another song about leaving high school; years later, I still believe 17-year-old Emily nailed it.
Donāt Get to Get to Me is the third song in an accidental trilogy. āBreak My Broken Heart,ā āNever Again,ā and this song tell the same story, but about different nights. I promise I eventually saw the pattern and broke it!
When Youāre Drunk was one of the first songs I wrote after moving away for school, but it wasnāt about anyone I met at school. It sounds so much worse than it was, but this person didnāt live near me, and essentially they would only text me when they were drinking.
