Be gay do crime

I'm a chronically ill triple A battery who writes. Also on insta

[eminthegrave]

Welcome folks, cryptids and all those who lurk

I am Emory, an artist, writer and poet. This blog is mostly dedicated to all that (though I don't post much art on here anymore). I am also chronically ill and queer if that is what you like and I write stories with those kinds of characters in them.

A bit about me:

I am british (born and bred), 19 and enjoy making and sharing stories. I am also currently writing a book called The Princess and The Kelpies (no not the mythical creatures, more pirates).

Thanks for all the support lovely humans, and I hope you are doing well. If you want to support me in other ways here is my LinkTree https://linktr.ee/eminthegrave

I’m going to uni this year so I won’t update as much as I ought to. I may reopen commissions but we’ll see. I’m also in the process of creating a Card with The Believers Tales lore so you can keep up with it. I’ll let you know when that’s up.

=)

[eminthegrave]

How I am currently explaining my current state of being:

My body is allergic to standing up

And no that’s not an exaggeration

[eminthegrave]

A little rant on being a disabled artist.

I can’t work, I can’t do it physically due to my disabilities and the mental strain would send me into burnout if I could. So creating art is how I pass the time, and I want to do it for a living. Except I won’t be able to make a living from it because I can’t work on my art as much as I want. I love making art, I love writing, I love drawing, I love making but sometimes it feels like it’s the only thing I’m worth for. That if I stop creating or I slow down that I’m a burden.

Because that’s what we’re taught, if we’re not productive then we’re worthless.

I have tried to break from this way of thinking, and I have mostly, but it’s how we’re wired so I can’t help but fall back into it.

Right now I am unable to create art at the rate I want to due to chronic illness. It’s taken me years to write a book (albeit it’s my first and I’m 19) that I wanted to have finished by now yet I have so far to go. I keep feeling like my art isn’t good enough, that I won’t be able to do the things I want to, that time is running out. Life isn’t exactly proving my thoughts otherwise either.

I admit, in the past year I have rapidly improved my art due to unwavering determination. Yet it’s hard to feel like it’s enough. I know I’m young, and I will get this experience to create something so amazing that my current self couldn’t imagine doing. For now though, I feel like I’m just lazy, that I could be doing something amazing but I just don’t have the energy or the experience.

I love to imagine a future where I have both, where I get to do everything I want to with my career but my mind moves faster than my ever slowing body. I may never get to do everything I want purely because I don’t have the energy. It’s terrifying.

I’m afraid that I won’t be able to hold a pen by the time I’m 30. I know realistically I will but disabilities keep piling on. Right now my baseline has lowered again and I can’t do the things I want as much. It’s not just art, it’s going to the cinema, starting uni, walking my dog.

Why is it every time I’m doing better, something has to come along and ruin it? Why is it that I can’t create the art I want to because my hands won’t stop shaking? Because I can’t sit up for too long, because my mind is failing just as much as my body.

Then there’s those that claim they have no talent, that steal and under pay artists and use AI.

I want to create! I want to share how I see the world, and the only thing stopping me is my own. Fucking. Body.

[eminthegrave]

Feeling like shit today. Why is it that whenever I feel like I’m managing and doing better something just comes along to remind me body is broken?

Been having an onslaught of new symptoms/increased symptoms like dizziness and shortness of breath. I really hope this isn’t a new thing that will be happening a lot. I start uni in two months.

[eminthegrave]

Soooooo, I'm going to uni soon annnd, I have now realised I have been daydreaming about my book since highschool. That's like, 3-4 years. I started writing it in 2024, THIS BOOK IS GOING TO TAKE ALMOST 3 YEARS!!!!!!! I'M NOT EVEN IN PROCESS OF PUBLISHING!!!!

don't mind me crashing out.

[eminthegrave]

Me, realising I can write the most random ass out of pocket book that people will think was a fever dream: HAHAHAHAHA NOONE CAN STOP ME!!!!!!!

[eminthegrave]

Don’t you just love it when you have one condition you think of as the easy child that you don’t have worry about and then it comes and decides it’s their time to be the problem child.

I hate my body and its want to suffer.

[eminthegrave]

Ah yes, chronic illness, when you want to be productive but can’t because your body decides to be a little bitch about it.

[eminthegrave]

The day I can no longer hold a pen part 2

The day I can no longer hold a pen will be the day my life will end,

yet the pen already slips from my grip reminding me as my health starts to slip

Sick in bed from something I used to love, is it fair to say it's something I'm sick of

I want to laugh, I want to write, I want to run and fly a kite

yet I'm bound to a body cursed with pain, shackled by circumstance under its reign

my legs will never run like they used to before and my mind will slip between the pages I ignore

The day I can no longer hold a pen has already come and gone, yet I can still feel it in my fingers that tomorrow I may be wrong

It still slips from my grasp, but that doesn't last

Because one day I will pick up the pen again and my life will start again

[eminthegrave]

IS this a good description for POC's skin tone?

'He had light brown skin that seemed to glow in the golden light of the lanterns.' (This is Jasper)

'The woman was darker skinned than Jasper, A rich mahogany that fit the woman quite well.'

Can I outright say his skin was brown? is that offensive?

Pls help, I'm pasty white with no poc friends (I live in a very white area)

[plasticbagfloatinginthewind]

I want to write a novel or something about me/cfs to spread awareness but I realise that it would be so boring😭

like today I woke up...and didn't get out of bed...at all...and just lay there in the dark...and by the way I haven't showered in a week...ooh

[writingblus]

i dont "go on walks," i dont "use character sheets" and i dont "plot before writing," i raw dog it, and if it doesnt flow, I FUCKING CRY.

[eminthegrave]

Reading back through the first draft of my book right now and I gotta tell you it is pure chaos. Like I knew it was weird right, but I completely forgot how much pure crack went into it. Like one scene they pretty much gaslighlight, gatekeep and girlboss their way out of a situation.

I know this book is pretty self indulgent but I cannot wait to see people's take on some of this shit.

[quillwritten]

[eminthegrave]

I'm currently barrelling straight towards the 30,000 words mark (also known as the muddy middle) and kinda looking forward to it. Is that weird? it feels like it should be weird, but my favourite chapter is the one after the one I'm on and it gets even more hilarious after. It's not weird to have fun writing I guess, cus at least I know it's gonna be entertaining.

Honestly Idk what this post it really.

CHAPTER 7 LET'S GO!!!!!

[eminthegrave]

Briefly worrying that this sentence won't make sense because humans are also animals is a great example of my autistic brain.

'He said cautiously, as if talking to an animal.'

Like, I know it will make sense but for some reason my didn't think so as I was writing. =)

[freeshavacado]

you can only reblog this today