quality father and daughter time ft. bail & leia organa

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JVL

Discoholic đȘ©

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d e v o n

if i look back, i am lost
noise dept.
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Janaina Medeiros
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shark vs the universe

Andulka

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taylor price
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Kiana Khansmith
DEAR READER

pixel skylines
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@emotionalelectron
quality father and daughter time ft. bail & leia organa
I really wanted one of the Mikkelsen brothers to play Grindelwald. Both are them are more than able to play charismatic and powerful characters.
me thinking about shakespeare normally: mercutio was gay
me thinking about shakespeare at 3 am: romeo and juliet is underrated as a story. why? because everyone treats it as a love story when they should be treating it as a commentary on how children are too afraid to come to their parents with a problem or even voice their opinions on things without fear of facing repercussions. juliet didnât want to marry paris, some old guy she didnât know. so OF COURSE she was going to choose romeo, some hot young thing that talked nice and looked nicer and probably made her feel special. she had had at least a conversation with the guy. but no. she canât tell her father that she doesnât want to marry and would rather try to get to know that nice montague boy that was chatting her up while crashing her party. but of course she canât. both of because societal expectations and because of the whole blood feud. and then thereâs romeo. we all call him an emo fuck but the fact remains that it is highly hinted that he had depression and while finding someone âto loveâ doesnât automatically fix that in a person, him âlovingâ juliet definitely did seem to improve his mood while his parents just brushed him off. and in the end of the story, theyâd both rather kill themselves then tell their parents that theyâre going to be disappointing them by telling them who they âloveâ and thatâs just fucked up. these were teenagers. and while this may have not been old billy shakesâ original message, it stands that this interpretation could benefit being taught to a lot of students and even some parents.Â
me thinking about shakespeare at 3:30 am: also know what was fucked up? mercutio and tybalt died without even knowing what they were dying for. they literally say in the beginning of the play that no one remembers why the blood feud started. and mercutio wasnât even an capulet or montague. this wasnât his fight. but he died anyways, under romeoâs arm, by tybaltâs hand. sure, they were fighting because tybalt was pissed about romeo seeing juliet and shit, but mercutio didnât know that. he thought tybalt was just starting shit just to start shit. he didnât know what he was dying for. âa plague on both your housesâ indeed. and then tybalt. fucking firey tybalt. like i said before, no one knows why the blood feud started. he essentially just died because his family hates another guyâs family probably over something like the 13th century equivalent of a sports rivalry. thatâs so fucked up. while i donât remember what their exact ages were, iâm pretty sure they were teenagers too. what the fuck.
me thinking about shakespeare at 3:35 am: and then benevolio. oh god benevolio. what even happened to him??? first, he watches this guy who was always a jackass to him but heâs probably known all his life get killed, then his (boy)friend dies all because of something his cousin does, and then his cousin is exiled/flees before heâs exiled. heâs then all alone for like the rest of the play, until he assuredly walks into the mausoleum at the end of the play and sees his cousin dead on the ground with some girl heâs maybe seen twice in his life dead on top of him. what the fuck. what the actual fuck. poor benevolio just lost his two best friends and now heâs all alone. and you know they never even say if heâs in the play for the rest of the thing. you just assume he is. for all we know he couldâve skipped town, or killed himself as well, or died in a duel, or anything. i always headcanoned him as the youngest of the group. and like, that just makes it worse. poor benevolio, the guy that was left all alone at the end of the play with all his friends and acquaintances dead. âfor never was a story of more woe / than that of juliet and her romeoâ???? bullshit. for never was a story of more woe than that of our poor fucking benevolio.Â
So in lore, vampires have this trait that Iâve almost never seen used, and thatâs the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.
Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstepâpoppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.
If they didnât immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, theyâd be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadnât counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldnât be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether itâs possible to make them lose count and start over.
Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.
Vampire accountants who are an honest companyâs best asset and a corrupt companyâs bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.
Vampire cashiers that donât need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.
Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.
MATH NERD VAMPIRES
If anyone would like the term for this, itâs arithmomania.
âBut sir, heâs a vampire!!!â âVampire or not, heâs the best damn accountant we have here, and iâd let him drink my blood before i fire him!â
âstill less of a leech than Matt in legal. Fuck mattâ
Blame the algorithm
Impressed but still horrified
Different video
People in Australia are making jokes
one spock
two spock
red spock
blue spock
glad spock
sad spock
old spock
new spock
hat spock
cat spock
head spock
dead spock
tie spock
high spock
alive spock
revived spock
all the spocks may come and go
but thereâs one thing weâll always know
no matter where or when you may be
spock is there
for you and me
live long and prosper
The GOPdnd tag on twitter is really something else
My political views are so far left Iâve exited pursued by a bear
I canât believe this theatre pun post was so relatable
This is a thing I forgot about... :/
Hi Tumblr!
my kink is getting order confirmation and shipment tracking emails
thank u for visiting little friend I love u
Wonder Woman exclusive: Meet the warrior women training Diana Prince
Once again; boob cups in female armour
Not to mention leaving open thighs and arms in critical areas with no armour.
Sure just go sword fight people with arteries available for them to stab itâs fine. So long as men get to see youâre women and youâre sexy itâs fine.
The only reason I can see to leave your legs exposed like that is to air out the privates since that island is probably hot af. Iâd probably go around wearing a dress and sandals all day if I was told I couldnât be naked.
Arenât the Amazons based in Greek mythology? If so, werenât there gladiatorial fights where women could be naked too? If so, technically they could all just be fighting naked. Itâs only training and theyâre friends/comrades in arms.
I do have a beef with them high heeled boots though. Fairly sure the didnât have those in Greek times. So inaccurate.
(If anything and everything Iâve typed here is untrue, feel free to correct me politely or with funny af gifs XD)
OMG Iâm a classicist this is my JAM
You arenât the wrongest. (You are the rightest about the high-heeled boots. Those are a nope in terms of practicality and historicity). The Amazons were a semi-mythic group of warrior women who hailed from Thrace and/or Scythia (basically, âNorth-east ishâ). Whether there actually were warrior women from that area is debatable. Greek depictions of Amazons varies quite a bit. In early art, they were depicted as female versions of Greek hoplites, with the same costume- think tunic-y thing with very short skirt, torso armor (but not with boob cups, and definitely covering the shoulders because how the hell else it it gonna stay up), greaves, helmets, big-ass shields, and knifesticks spears.Over time, elements of Thracian and Scythian costume made their way into depictions of Amazons- things like bows and javelins, a fuckton of horses, patterned tunics, boots, pointy hats, and stripey pants. And maybe tattoos (Itâs kinda hard to tell if some craftsmen were trying to depict sleeves and sucked at it, or were genuinely trying to draw people with ink in their skin). The most common depiction of Amazons was as an archer on horseback, with a recurve bow, wearing long-sleeved tunic, belt, furry hat, trousers, and boots. Optional but popular is a half-moon shield.Â
This oneâs pants are boring, but you can see her quiver kinda behind her:
This one clearly shows the hat, pants, tunic, and sassy attitude:
On a horse, bomb-ass christmas tunic, fancy pants fancier than any fancy pants you will ever wear:
horse, half-moon shield, aerial knifestick javelin, complete lack of fucks:
pants and/or furry onesie, big hat, recurve bow, ancient speed-shooting techniques only recently rediscovered:
As for nudity, Amazons were rarely depicted naked (except for the odd stray boob) until the Hellenistic era (300âČs BC), and on into the Roman Era, especially during itâs midlife crisis phase (the century surrounding 0 AD, roughly) and itâs post-midlife-crisis have-sex-with-everyone, kill-all-your-neighborâs-chickens-and-eat-them-deep-fat-fried-all-at-once, act-surprised-when-you-contract-500-venereal-diseases-and-clog-your-arteries phase (Nero-ish onwards-ish. And yes, that is definitely the actual term used to refer to that period of Romeâs history, and not simply a sweeping generalization).
Gladiators were purely a Roman thing. You do get arenas and gladiators in Greece and Turkey and whatnot, but thatâs only because the Romans invaded and put them there because bloodsport made them less homesick or something, I guess. Female gladiators were certainly a thing, and may have fought naked for entertainment value (TBH Iâm too lazy to go look it up at the moment), but the thing is, gladiatorialism was a sport, just like modern taekwondo, judo, and fencing are sports. Yeah, people are going to get injured, but they didnât die nearly as often as our modern popular image would have you think, and their fighting style wouldnât really be all that useful on a battlefield, because they had rules to follow and their purpose was NOT to kill their opponent, but rather to provide an entertaining fight. Gladiators actually considered it a point of pride to never kill an opponent in the arena.Â
Back to pants, because pants are interesting. To the Greeks and Romans, pants were just about the weirdest fucking thing theyâd ever seen. Literally all of their clothes consisted of drapey rectangles. If they were feeling fancy, theyâd stick a belt or a nice brooch on it. Pants are a complicated, relatively form-fitting garment and it just freaked those poor Greeks right out. Pants were a visual signal for âreally fucking foreignâ.  The furry-hat-and-pants depiction I mentioned above was also the exact same costume that male Scythian warriors were depicted in, and the androgyny also freaked out the poor androcentric Greeks. Often, in vase art and such, the only way to tell an Amazon from a male Scythian is that the women have white skin. They lack of visible gender differences screamed âforeignâ to the Greeks. There are several mythic stories about the origins of pants, and they all attribute their invention to women. One story even has Medea (of âfuck you Jason, Iâm going to murder our kids to get back at you you utter fuckpileâ fame) inventing pants.Â
Historically speaking, pants were invented because people found themselves needing to ride horses to get places, and not-pants are really inconvenient for that. Since both men and women rode horses, both men and women wore pants. (Thereâs also a fair bit of merit to the theory that the Amazon legend comes from actual Scythian female horse-archers, since once you put a person on a horse and give them a recurve bow, upper body strength advantages donât mean shit). Pants were actually a key bit of military technology. Ancient China was having a hell of a time fighting off all these pants-wearing horse nomads (this was like 300-200 AD-ish) until the state of Qin finally decided to collectively put on pants and get on horses. They then preceded to kick the nomadâs pants-wearing asses and unify the warring states of China. Because pants.Â
Of course, because of bullshit, pants came to symbolize femininity and barbarianism to the Greeks and Romans. They think you look very silly in your uncivilized female legsleeves. Funny sidenote, the Romans avoided pants whenever they could, but when they kept invading more northerly places, shit kept getting colder. Winters in Northern Gaul (modern day France) were cold enough that soldiers actually had to put on pants, and the Romans thought this was significant enough that they called the region âGallia Bracataâ, which translates to âTrousered Gaulâ, or, if youâre slightly more imaginative, âPants Franceâ.Â
(This is just the first image that came up when I googled âpants franceâ)
So, to bring this all back around to Wonder Woman, Iâm really not a fan of those costumes. They arenât practical and they arenât accurate, and theyâre also cliche and just like every other sexy STRONG female warrior in fantasy media (I will direct you to @bikiniarmorbattledamage for more details and feminist rants). They could have kept the definitely necessary to show thigh skin by dressing them as Greek hoplites, but then theyâd have had to give them helmets and cover their precious hair, and give them actual for reals breastplates that protect above the breasts (seriously collarbones arenât made of steel and PROTECT YOUR SHOULDERS did you see what happened to poor Bucky), and arenât molded to the torso (seriously- if itâs stiff enough that you canât stab through it, itâs stiff enough that you canât move in something that tight). And even if it is only training, and for some reason theyâre not hitting anywhere thatâs exposed (maybe training to hit only really small target areas? IDK), the armor depicted wouldnât work- thereâs clearly no cushioning under it, and armor (any kind, really, plate, mail, scale, all of it) really doesnât work unless youâve got a layer of padding beneath it. Modern combat sports with limited target areas donât have form-fitting breast-cupping gear, they have thick pads that protect. For instance, two women competing in Taekwondo:Â
Not at all coincidentally, hereâs some modern body armor worn by female soldiers:Â
Incidentally, the Scythians also had similar armor, made of scales, woven leather, or some form of lamellar.Â
Anyway, the movie makers could have their characters showing a bit of thigh (if itâs that important that they be sexy somehow)Â and maintain some sense of accuracy with thick torso armor, which at least protects the vitals, If they wanted to really get back to the idea of Amazons as terrifying warrior women who act as equals to men and fight as equals to men, and keep the Ancient Cultures motif, these ladies would be wearing stripey pants and furry hats.Â
Basically, I think it would be awesome to put Wonder Woman in stripey pants.Â
Alrighty, so I just spent an hour looking up stuff about ancient pants. You donât have to dislike DCâs costumes just because I do, though- theyâre just not very accurate to either ancient Greek culture, or to ancient Greek depictions of Amazons. And thereâs no pants.
TBH now I kinda want to redesign Wonder Woman to be a Scythian Amazon. Lemme know if you want me to tag you or whatever if I end up posting a drawing of Wonder Woman in stripey pants.
STRIPEY PANTS WONDER WOMAN STRIPEY PANTS WONDER WOMAN
*bangs fists on the table in rhythm* STRIPEY PANTS WONDER WOMAN STRIPEY PANTS WONDER WOMAN
Something more on the stripey pants: they were KNITTED!!
Yes! Knitted.
I went to the excellent museum exhibition, âKleurâ (âGods in Colorâ/âBunter Götterâ) in Amsterdam a couple of years ago, where reconstructions of Greek and Roman statues were shown, painted in the colors they originally were, and it was a riot. Literally. But the most amazing thing was the statue of Paris (or âthe Archerâ, if you will) on the frieze of the Partheon (see below). Because he wears those pants/leggings, and their pattern clearly shows that they had to be knitted.
And it makes sense, of course, because the Greeks had their oikos (household) in their poleis (cities) where their wimminfolk would weave rectangular pieces of wool on rectangular frames
but a (semi)nomadic horsetribe would have no use for weaving frames. Too bulky. But a couple of knittingneedles would fit in any saddlebag, and one could ride and knit at the same timeâŠ
(which is what popped up when I googled âknitting on horsebackâ)
The fact I had to mesh about three tag bundles for this post is why this is the best post on tumblr.
This post is just amazing in every sense of the word!
What I want
Cruz ends his campaign by punching and elbowing his wife in the face