The Illerate English Major

Just a broke, confused college kid. This is a generally SFW hodgepodge of fandoms, aesthetics, queer stuff, and weird humor. NSFW and common triggers are tagged. If you want something specific tagged, just ask. Friendly asks and messages are welcome. I'm Oliver, a 20 year old who is trying very hard.

[abz-j-harding]

The Valravne Armour

X

[abz-j-harding]

From August

[astraldemise]

when i die i want to be a goat when i come back i want to look like some wouldst thou like to live deliciously bitch i want some cunt driving by my field to see me and think to themselves that thats a bad omen right there

[astraldemise]

why am i not this

[astraldemise]

i need to hide my phone after taking my sleeping pills otherwise i start posting about wanting to look like baphomet or some shit

[abz-j-harding]

Valravne Armour

X

[worstdoctorsyndrome]

Idk which plague doctor needs to hear this but no matter what anyone says, your knowledge of herbs is immense and your beak is huge

[aroacepositivityplace]

I am aroace and romance repulsed/indifferent (changes daily), and I was talking with my sister, who is bi about romance movies. I mentioned that I would love to see an adult movie that doesn’t have romance in it, but could be just about friendship or something, and she just started going off about how “love is a part of everyone’s lives so there’s not going to be a movie that has no romance in it”. So I was getting mad. (1/2) ✨🖤💚♠️💜🖤✨

Then she started pressuring me into watching “Call Me By Your Name.” I don’t know a lot about it, so she started going into a lot of detail, saying that there’s a fair amount of sex scenes and stuff and is generally a super romantic movie. I’m feeling very romance-repulsed today, and I don’t like romance movies, so I told her that I didn’t think I would enjoy it. But she kept going on and on and ON about it! I’m not comfortable watching romance/sex, so I don’t know what to do. (2/2) ✨🖤💜♠️💚🖤✨

There are plenty of movies aimed at older audiences that don’t center around romance or avoid it completely. Your sister is definitely wrong when she says romantic love is a part of everybody’s life. Somebody is no more or less of a person depending on if they’ve been or are in a romantic relationship.

I think you’re going to have to stand your ground here. Don’t let her pressure you into watching movies you don’t want to watch. Ask her if you can talk about things you both enjoy rather than her going on about movies you have no interest in. 

Also, I just looked through my Netflix/Hulu/Amazon Prime queues for some more mature, romance-free titles you might like and this is what I came up with.

-Pan’s Labyrinth

-Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse 

-Ghostbusters (2016) 

I’m more of a TV show person, so if any of my followers have movie recommendations based on what anon wants, please share! 

[emptyolivejar]

Somebody in the comments mentioned Thor: Ragnarok and that movie is absolutely fantastic while focusing on ensemble as opposed to romance! 

A few other movies I thought of:

-Promare 

-What We Do in the Shadows

-Silence of the Lambs 

-Jaws

-Jurassic Park

-Pacific Rim

-The Shining 

-Misery

-Mad Max: Fury Road

-Monty Python and the Holy Grail 

-Alien

-2001: Space Odyssey 

-One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest

-The Green Mile 

Do be aware, though, some of these movies come with serious content warnings and portrayals that have aged quite poorly. 

[prideknights]

Dragons, friends or foe?

Friends. Very good friends.

[thebootydiaries]

[assignedmale]

[necromancy-enthusiast]

So in light of Everything going on in the US, I'm opening commissions for 3h fics in exchange for donations to any of the charities listed in the link below at $15 usd for 500-1k word fics. Please take a screenshot once you've donated and timestamp it, then dm me within 15 minutes of the timestamp (you can do this by screenshotting your confirmation email with the time showing).

Here's a list of organizations you can donate to.

I'm open to most characters and pairings but I won't do student/teacher or incest, and currently I can't offer nsfw. Reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Here are examples of my work.

[harammara]

Kayvan_novak-Who’s getting ready for episode 6 featuring the orgytastic @nickkroll? #whatwedointheshadows @shadowsfx @fxnetworks @hulu (apologies to the gentlemen pictured attaching the 24 inch leather dildo to my crotch I can’t remember who you are or why you decided to dedicate your life making handmade calf skin penises for the film and TV industry)

[emptyolivejar]

Monster Erotica Zine

Hello, everyone! Monstrous Appetites is an erotic, choose your own adventure zine. The CYOA elements allow readers of all genders, bodies, and bedroom positions to put themselves into fantasies involving monsters of all varieties. Stay tuned for additional info and updates with the zine’s official twitter!

Monstrous Appetites

@MAzine2020

Interest check and application in the link below! 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScNId-3_fIzD9P2VRHAvCCRJHbQNq3xBkrCKCjMLJpocriTXg/viewform?usp=sf_link

[ratwarlock]

Sorry babe, during sex, the plague mask stays ON

[ratwarlock]

hm. this post Aged 

[nova-arcania]

[aroacepositivityplace]

Friendly reminder that there’s nothing wrong with gaining some weight during times like these and in general. A lot of the people peddling the message that you’re lazy if you aren’t using the quarantine to work out or start dieting are trying to sell you something you don’t need. If eating those cookies you love makes you happy, enjoy. If playing animal crossing is what helps you get through the day, that’s awesome. The number on a scale or your measurements don’t detail who you are as a person or your overall health.

[georgiansuggestion]

READERS! For your Pleasure in these Unusual Times, I offer an Unusual Diversion: Which of my Feckless Nephew’s Disreputable Companions are You?

[imp]

sorry for being a dark sorcerer. as if its my fault.