alfred gave them the sheets
NASA

ellievsbear
No title available

#extradirty
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Monterey Bay Aquarium

@theartofmadeline
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Sweet Seals For You, Always

roma★
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
Acquired Stardust
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

PR's Tumblrdome
🪼
styofa doing anything
RMH
d e v o n
KIROKAZE
seen from Chile
seen from Norway
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia
seen from Australia

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Australia
seen from Indonesia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Spain
@emzwritezmaybe
alfred gave them the sheets
Had this idea of Wally sneaking up on Dick who has been wearing the cowl for some time to give him a wedgie with the Bat Thong™ in revenge for Dick getting him in the leg with a wet towel the last time they were at the Tower, only for Bruce to fucking turn around and be like "the fuck?" . Wally melted through the floor.
Watch me whip, watch me nae nae, watch me whip whip, watch me nae nae
😭😭😭😭😭
Jiggle one and two, oh no! Jiggle this meteor 😜 idk what I'm saying bro
😭😭😭 Nurse this one got out again
A totally unbiased opinion!
Sometimes, the kids would latch onto Bruce and make him pretend to look for them
The idea is to push at their dad's physical limits (Damian calls it "training the Batman to be able to support his allies' weight in times of necessity" while everyone else just calls it "playing with our dad until he taps out and admits he can't handle how big we've gotten")
It's an awful game — on Bruce's part, mostly. Most of the children are taller or heavier than him. He's too old to be lugging around so much weight up and down the stairs. And most importantly: it looks silly
But it is rewarding to hear them teal with laughter — if only for a moment, his children are as young and innocent as his heart wants them to be
So no, he will keep playing along, even if people sometimes look at him like he's insane
.
.
Bruce: Alfred, have you seen my eldest children?
Alfred, looking at Cass and Dick currently latched on Bruce's legs: Well don't look at me, sir. They're your children. You should really take care of where you put them down
Bruce: They're big people! Where could they possibly have gone?
[starts to waddle away while Cass and Dick snicker, still clutching on his legs]
.
.
Bruce: Where are my robins?
Clark, about to point at the very obvious robin-shaped lumps under his cape: Batman, you do know-
Bruce: I lend my robins to you for one mission. One, Kal. The idea of borrowing is that there should be a promise of return.
[Tim sneezes. Damian stars violently shushing him. Bruce is still running the game]
.
.
Diana, fondly: You really need to just throw down the towel. This game is going on for too long to be cute
Bruce:
Bruce, earnestly: It's... not just a game, Diana.
Bruce: They're all growing up so fast. They're all so wonderful and I'm so proud of them, of course, but it breaks my heart to see how big they've gotten. I just want to still be able to carry them around, even if I know they're trying to annoy me into tapping out. I want to show that no matter how big they get, they'll always be my babies and I'll carry them whenever and however they need me to
Diana, smiling: Of course, my friend
Bruce: Good
Bruce, with a teary-eyed 6"7 Jason currently koala bear'd onto his back: Now check behind this couch to see if Jason fell through the cracks
I love the thought that Bruce would get himself into different side quests. Not because he's a CEO and has sponsored projects here and there, but because he's a celebrity of his own.
You'd assume that someone who dresses as a bat furry and break people's shins who genuinely has not been sleeping enough would skip those and only does the bare minimum of accepting one or two interviews and one or two photoshoots just to keep the public satisfied and off his back but no.
When a movie director, who's CGI engine/general tech are from Wayne Tech because his company is sponsoring the project, reached out to him and offered a spot in the cast (not a major role), Bruce went: "Oh, why the hell not?"
Besides he had some training in acting, it would be a good way to practice his skills.
Cue to the Bat-Kids and adjacent having a night in because of the weather or something and decided to have a movie night. (They went through the catalog of new/upcoming movies in the Manor's theatre and found the movie, thought it would be interesting and all agreed to rent it)
Dick, amused and a little baffled, points to the wide screen: Hey, that character looks like B.
Bruce wrapped in zombie-esque prosthetics but is still recognizable, staring longingly at the male lead while said lead passionately spoke about how he'd help cure him and what-not.
Tim, who hadn't been paying attention, pauses in his typing and set his phone aside: Huh?
Jason, eyes squinted: He does look like the old man...
Babs, nodding along: Who would've thought Bruce had a doppelgänger. It would be a shame though if the actor only got into this job because he resembled someone already famous. Creepy even...
Stephanie, slapping her knee and guffawing: Oh, shit! He's got competition!
Damian, contemplating: Perhaps Father could use his service when he needs someone to pose as him in galas or such...
Duke, rubbing his eyes in a tired manner: I don't think he would, Dames. He would be too concerned in putting the actor in danger because of his status type shit..
Cassandra:
Cassandra: I think that is him.
Everyone turned their heads towards her simultaneously. Dick thought she was being funny. Jason looked at her as if she was messing with him, offense written all over his face. Tim blinked froggily. Damian's eyebrows were pinched. Stephanie just laughed harder. Duke let out a confused "what?".
Babs, pulling out her tablet, searching up the movie while Bruce's character is legit running for his life in the background despite it still being early into the movie: ...Cass is right, it is him.
Silence.
Cue chaos and intense typing. They eventually found more of his previous projects dating back to when he was 16. They went to confront Bruce who was just about fall asleep and only received a very confused reply: I thought you all knew...?
Bruce didn't try to hide it. All his schedules for the movie were written on both his physical and virtual calendar. He knows his kids often barge into his study just to bother him or simply bask in his presence, he assumed they'd figured it all out...
Skip to two weeks later where they all decide to binge watch all his features.
Despite the fact that my name only mentions that I perhaps write, I do draw a little... Heh...
Anyways.
I am a firm believer that Damian is an HTTYD kid AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL 👹
Do you guys think he'd be pissed by the third movie? I think he would cause that movie lowk contradicts everything the franchise was fighting for AKA dragons being able to live among humans + respected.
The Bats are human, that's fairly well established in vigilante and metahuman circles but they do tend to have... Bat-like qualities that just can't be explained.
Dick can be found time to time dangling upside down from training equipment, like nets and bars and he has been caught by the Justice League and Titans dozing in that position.
Jason loves fresh fruit and will snack on it if offered. Mangoes, guava, apples, oranges, strawberries. Pretty much place any sort of fruit in front of him and he's munching on it. "Fruit bat," Starfire tells Arsenal one day while they watch him go to town on a fruit basket.
Batgirl is famous for just popping up in the dark, usually adding to conversations she could not have fucking heard, only to shrug and be like "I have sensitive hearing".
The little Robin? When he starts throwing batarangs, he never misses. When Batman gets asked about his training, he just always looks so annoyed and just answers, "he's using sonar obviously."
And of course, you never see Batman during the day, do you? And if you do, he's squinting and scowling like he's really out of his comfort zone. The entire Justice League can attest to that and the Titans are never surprised that when they go looking for a particular Robin that they will be tucked safely under the cape, avoiding the sun.
And then there are the times that one of the Titans try to eavesdrop on Bat conversations only to hear them... are they chirping?
Clark: What are you kids doing?
Gar: shhhh, listen to this shit
Clark: Language
Kon: No, Clark. Listen to them.
Bruce: *chirps, clicks*
Tim: *questioning-sounding clicks*
Damian: *condescending chirps*
Steph: *clickings*
Jason: *sarcastic chrips*
Dick: *horrified clicks and chirps*
Duke: *worried chirps*
Bruce: *angry click click chirps*
Clark: I don't - I don't know what they're saying.
Jon: They're speaking bat.
Clark: Jon, they aren't actually - wait, Gar can't you-
Gar: Nope. Tried every species.
Kon: Fucking mystery.
Cass: *lying on the rafter above them recording their reactions because the Bats are so fucking with them*
Dick, Bruce's beloved eldest, slumped over a random desk in the cave, sniffling: It's so hard being broke, man. This job doesn't cut it. I can only afford bills most times!
Bruce, has literally given him a trust fund, one of of his personal debit cards, offered a HOUSE but was denied, listening: Uh-huh.
------------------------------------------------------
Jason, Bruce's miracle second child, crying:
Steph: Are you crying?
Jason, glares, but sobs anyway:
Steph, offers him a raggedy handkerchief that totally isn't used to wipe her gear off some sludge when they dropped into Gotham Harbour yesterday: Aw, you do have a heart...
Jason, accepts: Yeah, that's what poor people have instead of money. You would know.
Bruce, knowing damn well he helps pay everything for them both including taxes, watching them:
------------------------------------------------------
Tim Jackson DRAKE-WAYNE, enters to Bruce's study, snatches his wallet from the desk, takes the only $10 amongst $50 and $100 bills inside, leaves:
Bruce:
------------------------------------------------------
Damian, scowling while he clutches a tiger cub: Why do you keep denying me of the joy of having this beauty as a pet, Father?! Are we too poor to afford it's maintenance?!
Bruce:
I've been thinking about how the JL found out Bruce was an omega because he was excusing himself on maternity leave on that month's monthly meeting and how freaking hilarious that would be. I imagine it would be his second pregnancy (Jason!):
Bruce, swarmed in his dramatic ass cape, busy shutting down the hologram on the table: Meeting adjourned.
The Jl, sighs in relief. Barry stands to stretch his cramping legs, hips popping and all. Hal leans back in his seat, kicks his legs up to prop it against the table, arms going behind his head. Oliver slumps against the table, groaning softly while Dinah uses him as support for her side. Clark pulls out his personal tablet, planning to quickly finish typing his new article. J'onn remained in his seat, occupied by a box of oreos. Arthur started up a small, shallow conversation with Diana. These moments were often taken by the heroes as a moment of respite. The weight of being Earth's protector didn't feel as significant during these post-meetings, ironically.
Then, Bruce lifted his head, the hologram finally turned off: I have sent back-ups of the files you all will need for the meeting with [insert some cool planet's delegation] along with several instructions regarding the Watchtower maintenance and more for the next 3 months I am away. Contact me only when necessary.
The JL collectively paused. Slowly, eyes swiveled to stare at the hulking form that was Bruce.
Hal, eyes squinted in suspicion and "how dare you—The Batman–run away from cosmic duties as you wish!?!", chimes: Uh... Where're you heading, Spooky?
Bruce, confused if the downward turn of his lips meant anything: I am to be indisposed, Lantern. I have updated my status report as so. Have you all not gone to check it despite the many times I've reminded you to immediately check on any notifications on new updates your team members might add or delete in theirs?
The JL, sheepish/act nonchalant/straight up blank out to find a quick reason until Clark, ever the mediator, carefully questions: Could you inform us of the reason you will be unavailable anyway...?
Bruce, huffs out an exasperated breath, mutters something along the lines of not underestimating status report updates and what not: I am going on maternity leave.
Silence. Shocked silence, specifically. Everyone then begin shouting questions, concerns, and accusations like a storm. Only stopping when Bruce held out a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and exclaiming "Enough!".
Barry, hesitantly, speaks up: Why are you leaving on maternity leave for 3 months? Aren't the father of the pup/s only allowed 2?
The JL nods along to Barry's words. As far they assumed know Batman was an Alpha.
Bruce, lips parting before closing, appalled. He remembered to finally put his actual second gender on his files few months ago as preparation for this leave. He'd suspected that they'd at least read that! His shoulder tensed as if he was going to verbally put the JL in their places but forced himself to relax because getting angry isn't good for the baby.
He sighs: I am the one giving birth, Flash.
Silence once more engulfed the room. Hal is gaping. Barry looked like he's seconds away to an aneurysm. Arthur had his hands gripping his hair. Dinah shots up so quickly from her position that Oliver fell off his chair. Clark floated a good foot in the air, pale like the walls. J'onn's eyes widened. Diana was the only one beaming despite the confusion warring in her expression.
Clark: You're an omega...?
Bruce, glares at the Kryptonian: Is that an issue, Superman?
Clark, about to apologize/correct himself, cut off by Diana's eager: You are with child?
Bruce sighed once again and nodded in confirmation.
Oliver, froggily blinks his eyes: But you don't look pregnant. Heck, you don't look like you've changed at all!
Bruce: It's just the cape creating that illusion. No, you can't meet the pup (Eyes looking pointedly at Diana, the Alpha deflated). No, I won't tell you who's the pup's father (Glares at all the people he assumed would ask so *cough* Hal & Oliver *cough*). Do not comm me for unimportant business, understood?
The JL, not knowing what else they should do, nods absentmindedly. It was only then that they realize, as Batman took his retrieve, that he was slightly walking like he had a heavy package pressing down against his pelvis.
Hal, accusing finger pointed at Clark when Batman was no longer heard or could be seen: You! Couldn't you hear if there were more than one heartbeat or any abnormal noise at all?!
Clark, sputtering, offended: I thought he was having stomach problems! Not a literal pup! And besides it would be rude of me to come up to him and ask if he was constipated—
Cue chaotic bickering and arguing.
Meanwhile, back in the Cave.
Dick, sitting in the Batcomputer chair, having the best laugh in his life as he watched the live footage of the Watchtower meeting room: Mom, I thought you told them you were an omega?
Bruce, out of gear, clad in a pair of loose sweatpants and large shirt, baby bump evident even peeking from the shirt a lil, sighs: This is why I always tell you to choose your teammates wisely, chum.