The Falling of James Barnes
Hi guys!! So I usually post on ao3 but I decided to start posting my works on here? i’m kind of new to this lmao sorry
read it on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13079523
and leave a comment or just enjoy here!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
.
.
It’s like Bucky is seeing him for the first time, like he’s falling in love all over again.
“Stevie,” he croaks out. There are tears in his eyes.
…….
He remembers the time Steve and him had first met. He’d seen the blue eyed boy sitting in the grass, glowing like an angel. He had talked to Steve that day. Found out it was the first time in weeks he had been allowed outside. Bucky had flashed him a boyish grin, telling Steve he was glad that he was better now, and that they were best friends.
He remembers the time he’d first saved Steve from being beaten to death. It was after school in their 6th grade year. Steve had told some fellas to stop picking on a little 4th grader, so they beat up on him instead. There was blood coming from his lip and his nose and his eye was swollen shut, but he looked just as angelic as the first day they’d met.
He remembers the first time Steve had gotten sick- real sick. It was in the 4th grade, during winter. He’d gotten something called pneumonia. He was in bed for weeks- so sick he couldn’t even stay awake. He was really sweaty, too. Bucky had been there. Every day. Even fell asleep a couple times when Steve got so bad he couldn’t breathe and needed to use his inhaler. Especially when Sara had to work nights. When Steve had woken up, Buck was there. “Bucky? You stayed?” Steve’s voice was raspy and cracky. “Till the end of the line, Stevie.” There was a ghost of a smile on both of their faces. “Till the end of the line.”
He remembers the night Sara had died. Steve was a mess. There were tears on his face, but he wasn’t moving. Looked like he wasn’t even breathing. He stayed like this for hours until he snapped, throwing and kicking shit and screaming until he couldn’t breathe. Bucky was there to hold the inhaler to his lips and stroke his face.
“It’ll be okay, Stevie. I gotcha. Sleep.” His best friend slept with tear stains on his cheeks that night. Bucky wiped them away, his body intertwined with Steve’s.
He remembers the first time they’d held hands. They had been at the water all day, summer heat finally getting to it’s humid parts. The sun was setting on the walk home, and they decided to take the back way. Steve had looked over at him and smiled, before looking both ways up and down the street, grabbing Bucky’s hand. Somehow, they’re able to make it all the way home without having to part hands, sharing shy glances. It’s the first time Bucky’s ever been nervous. Steve Rogers was the one to do it. They were 13.
He remembers their first kiss, just some days after they first held hands. They were at the water again, but relaxing in the cool shade of a tree, where no one else could see them. Their hands were intertwined and no words were spoken until Steve had turned on his side and analyzed Bucky’s face.
“You’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever met, Buck.” Bucky could feel his face turn a deep pink, and felt Steve lips pressed on his own. It wasn’t a pretty kiss, just lips pushing on one another. Steve pulled back and smiled at his friend before laying back down, looking at the sky.
He remembers their first fight. Bucky had been out with some dame, dressed up and ready to dance. 5th time this week, and it was Friday. He’d barely been home. Doesn’t remember why he didn’t come home to Steve, god knows he would’ve loved it. Maybe the fellas were making assumptions about him and Steve’s relationship again. Maybe he’d been mad. He doesn’t know. He knows that when he got home, Steve had been angry. Jealous.
“What the fuck, Barnes?” Steve wasn’t yelling, but his voice was loud-powerful.
“Whatdya mea, "What the fuck” Stevie? I was jus havin a good time.“ Okay, he was a little drunk.
"Yeah, with every dame in Brooklyn. If you want to screw them all, Buck, then stop crawling in my bed at night. I’m tired of it.” There were tears in Steve’s eyes, and his voice grew more quiet as he continued to speak, “I know you have to go and make sure no one knows you’re gay, but this hurts me.”
Bucky remembers not going out for all the next week, and hardly at all after, mostly double dates with Steve.
He remembers when he found out he was being shipped out. He tried telling them he had to stay, that he was a caretaker to his friend who was too sick to live on his own, but they wouldn’t listen. So he grinned when he’d told Steve, acted like it wouldn’t hurt him at all. He tries to ignore Steve’s face, like someone had just ripped out his heart and then punched him in the nose. He felt the same. They spent the day together at home, with Steve drawing Bucky. At the end of the night, when they were both cuddled into each other, Bucky spoke.
“Stevie, I know you’re worried, but I’m coming back home to you.” He felt Steve’s head burrow further into his chest.
“Buck. Please don’t die.” Bucky felt warm tears on his chest.
“Nah, Rogers. I’m with you till the end of the line.” Steve chuckled.
“Till the end of the line.”
He took a picture of Steve on a polaroid, to keep in his cap while he was away. His boy was so beautiful.
He remembers when he’d seen Steve as Captain America, looking 10x bigger than he did in Brooklyn. Remembers wanting to beat the shit out of him because, what the fuck did he tell Steve? Not to get into trouble. What did Steve do? Got into trouble. He had been scared- maybe the serum had changed his boy. Made him different. When he looked in his eyes, all doubt fell away. Steve was still his Stevie. His blue eyed angel.
He remembers the first time Steve and him fucked with Bucky on bottom. They had never gone all the way before, Bucky too worried for Steve’s health. Now? Steve was Captain America, and Bucky wanted it up the ass. It had been rough to start- animalistic. They were both much too eager to start it slow, but when Steve put more then two fingers in him, the movements became gentle.
“You ready for me, Barnes?”
“Yes, captain.”
So Steve fucked Bucky that night, slow and hard. Made sure to draw out Bucky’s orgasm, fingers in the bottom’s mouth when he could no longer keep quiet. Moaning when Bucky came around him, clenching and whimpering Steve’s name.
Steve made sure to cum in Bucky, making him hold it all in there, and calling him a good boy after.
He remembers asking Steve to marry him- after the war. Before they’re on the train. He knows he wants to spend his days with Steve. All of them. Till the end of the line, right? Sure, gay marriage isn’t legal now, but maybe soon. If not, him and Steve will just be together. For the rest of their days.
Steve says yes, tears in his eyes. He kisses Bucky like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do- and funnily enough it kind of is.
He last thing he remembers falling from the train car. Steve’s face. His scream. He’s falling and he can’t stop it. He won’t make it. So he chooses to remember Steve, who’s always been there. His best pal. Till the end of the line.
“Stevie,” he croaks out. There are tears in his eyes.
He hits the ground.
