Oh, hell no.

S. in pain probably a good 97% of the time, in case you might have been wondering. endometriosis, fibromyalgia, some sort of breathing problem, 1 ovary, 1 tube, 1 whole mess of a person.

[veryfalsedictations]

[youngchronicpain]

a big spoonie mood

[the-spoonie-life]

Spoonie Life #112

When the sound of your joints clicking is the second thing you hear after your alarm in the morning.

[so-over-ableism]

i’m having some fun on twitter

{image description: a tweet from @/bi_boy_ryan that says “no, just because your cousin does yoga doesn’t mean it’ll fix my chronic illness and fucked up joints #ThingsDisabledPeopleKnow”}

[endometri-no-sis]

listen. i had another surgery and they took my right ovary. i had cysts that had hemorrhaged and i was bleeding internally. they were gonna go in just for that, but SURFUCKINGPRISE, they had to take my ovary and i just. this is exhausting. there’s a risk that the left will now follow which leads me to ask; why didn’t they just take the whole fucking thing? why WAIT until this thing happens and make me go through this again. this time around i was so uncomfoetable and still am almost 2 weeks after surgery. this isn’t a waiting game for me like it seems to be for them. this is some sort of torture i think they like to put people through. i’m over this. 

[nice-message-lance]

a heart for anyone having a bad day: 💙

[endometri-no-sis]

i’m posting on mobile because that’s just the platform i’m using currently. i’m writing, though, because i’m really nervous about something. on wednesday, i’m going to my first ever pulmonologist appointment. if you read my post from a week or so ago, i explained that my doctor had explained to me that i had pleural essusions, one on my left and right lung. for a while i’ve had some weird thing with my breathing where i can be doing absolutely nothing, but all of a sudden take a large, deep breath as if i forgot to take any at all or as if i were doing so much activity. also, my heart will randomly at times start to palmitate for about 20 seconds and i really feel it in my neck when it happens. it’s very strong within my chest and neck area. the weird breath thing has been happening for a while, but my breathing when i lay down and at random times during the day is very weird and starts acting up. it feels like a panic attack breathing, with without the panic, if that makes sense? maybe not, i’m sorry. also, the heart this has been happening for a little while, but is starting to happen more often.

now what i’m worried about is exposing this to the doctor. i don’t want him to think that i’m just making myself experience these things because i now know there’s something with my lungs. i know a lot of doctors have a habit of making it seem like it’s in people’s head once they know something is happening. my primary did say it’s happening fast (the fluid build up) and has it stated in the referral. another thing i’m scared of is that my mom mentioned, (she used to work with doctors. isn’t one, but is very knowledgeable and resourceful at times!) if it’s a lot of fluid, they tend to drain it with a needle/catheter. also, if they think it’ll help them determine why it’s happening, they take some fluid to help them out. she also mentioned that the most common reason this happens is heart related, such as CHF. i’m nervous for the whole experience; a new doctor, more tests, needles for taking blood again, possible draining, possible serious cause of it all. i’m a mess and just very worried. i’m not filling my head with ideas or problems and, honestly, am tying to think as positive as i possibly can about the whole thing.

anyway, i was just curious if anyone has ever had to deal with something like this? if anyone has ever seen a pulmonologist for any reason and what the appointment has been like? any tips or tricks for keeping calm, especially while being awake for a needle/catheter going into your back and into a pleural space/being awake for a possibly very painful situation. this is probably silly, but i’m just so anxious about the whole thing! on the other hand, it’s 11PM where i am, but i hope everyone had a great day/night wherever you are! 💛

[impotsiblelife]

Chronically ill young adult problems #9

You don’t get to travel or make spontaneous plans like other people your age do. You can’t backpack across Europe or go to Florida for spring break when you have unpredictable symptoms or bulky medical supplies. Sometimes you can’t even meet your friends for dinner without advance notice because you don’t know how you’ll feel, you don’t know what you can eat on the menu, and you don’t know whether or not the restaurant they’ve chosen is accessible. Everything you do requires planning, which can suck the fun out of life. 

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #3,325

oh hey look it’s me, the girl who cries at random moments because she’s so exhausted and confused with her body

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #3,313

Tfw you’re having a good day but your body is not having it.

[spooniestrong]

[endometri-no-sis]

i hate it when you’re watching a show or movie that’s usually aimed at children or engaging in an activity that’s usually done by children or listening to a disney princess song just for the hell of it - and because it makes you happy or calm or peaceful or content - and someone, such as your parents, comes out of nowhere and says, “how old are you?” you know, suggesting that you’re ‘too old’ for said show/movie/activity/etc. especially when they know you’re mentally ill and only few things actually bring your mood up and keep you at a safe place within yourself. like, let me do as i please if it’s keeping me, or distracting myself, from hating myself for the time being. thank you. 

[adeles]

#when someone asks me how life’s going

[gmainpain]

[gmainpain]

[slavery]

Not to vent but: fuck

[whatshouldwecallchronicillness]

When the doctor offers an optional invasive test...

[cutmefromthelight]

alternatively, when the doctor gives you an option to be awake during an invasive test with just numbing, as opposed to being put asleep with anesthesia. 

[endometri-no-sis]

☆ tea-music-books replied to your post;

my doctor actually mentioned that endo is what could’ve been on my kidney and that i’d be really prone to it considering how persistent my endo is, i guess?? so i’ve considered it as a possibility!! but i’m sorry to hear your aunt has to deal with that. is there anything they do specifically for it that you know of??