End Rape Now

End Rape Now is a collective group of artists, academics, and uniquely skilled individuals dedicated to eradicating rape. ___www.endrapenow.info___

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I struggle to find my center amidst the chaos of the contemporary world...What within our societal structures is so plagued to create this ceaseless violence?

Jordan Ahmed, from “Some thoughts for the ether…”

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Some thoughts for the ether...

Written by Jordan Ahmed 11/15/15

I have never had the ability to understand violence and as violence escalates at home and abroad, my confusion deepens. Some journalists on TV tonight mentioned how maybe this is what a world at war looks like in 2015 - it is not the "great" wars of the past, but instead a subtler, less openly identifiable hostile atmosphere that pervades the world. We are more connected than ever, yet somehow within that greater connection are these tremendous fissures: swathes of violence, ignorance, and a lack of human compassion plague us on a large and small scale. Just as people senselessly murder more than 120 people in Paris, smaller transgressions take place closer to home in all our lives every day: sexual violence, the degradation of the mentally ill, pointless divisive arguments over politics, violence against racial/sexual/gender minorities...not to mention the violence we enact against our planet sending it into dangerous and destructive patterns of climate change. If this isn't a world at war with itself, I don't know what is. I struggle to find my center amidst the chaos of the contemporary world - a world where within minutes of an attack across the world I am privy to the fears and opinions of friends, colleagues, acquaintances. Where do we salvage compassion, trust, empathy, and love? How do we combat hopelessness, apathy, distrust, frustration - particularly, how do we keep ourselves from taking out our frustrations with the state of the world on each other? What within our societal structures is so plagued to create this ceaseless violence? Why do we continue to berate each other? To rape each other? To brutalize and kill each other? And why does it seem to be escalating beyond recognition? I don't have any answers tonight, only questions. I hear pieces of conversations throughout my life echo in my head - conversations about the state of the world, about how my mother didn't want to have children for fear of where the world was headed, conversations about how within these large-scale attacks ever since 9/11 I also feel pangs of guilt and confusion over being raised in a loving and peaceful Muslim family. How I worry that these attacks across the Atlantic will lead to increasing xenophobia and Islamophobia. How I worry about being harassed or blamed for violence that I am also appalled by. How I worry about my brothers, my sister, my parents, my cousins...how I worry about the women in my life as I contemplate the statistic that 20% of women have experienced sexual violence by the time they graduate college. Nights like these I am overwhelmed and inundated with conflicting thoughts and emotions and biases. The overarching question(s) I return to and challenge myself and you to think about: How do we choose to respond to this madness? How can we respond to violence and destruction with compassion and creation? How can we work on the small scale to impact the large scale? How do we reform a global culture that is divisive and tense? I'm mourning tonight. Mourning the senseless loss of lives in Paris and around the world over these last months. Mourning a part of my own optimism and light that dims each time I hear such news. Mourning a more peaceful world that tonight seems less visible.

Article written by Jordan Ahmed, guest writer for the group, End Rape Now. For more information, visit our website and follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and of course Tumblr!

END RAPE NOW IS A COLLECTIVE OF ARTISTS, ACADEMICS, AND UNIQUELY SKILLED INDIVIDUALS DEDICATED TO ERADICATING RAPE.

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Webinar - Exploring Gender Schemas and Sexualization of Women

Recorded 7/26/15

Led by: MacRorie Dean

Attended by teammates: Tessa Cannon, Lydia Billings, Lucia Martino

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YOU HEARD US, GUYS!!

Only 9 days left in our quest to raise money for End Rape Now’s future endeavours. Support us onward...

Click on the image or go here to donate!!

THANKS, WE SO APPRECIATE YOU!!

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HI BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!! We have 10 days left to raise a lot of money! Can you help us?!?! Do you believe there needs to be more info about #sexeducation on campuses? Do you believe that everyone should feel #empowered in their bodies? Do you believe that #rape is NOT COOL?! Then you should BELIEVE IN #endrapenow! Please donate to our campaign! We need your support! Follow the link here: bit.ly/ern2015 or click the image above

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There is no better way to be there for a friend who has experienced rape, than to truly BE THERE FOR THEM. Friendship is a powerful branch of love and we all keep each other going... 💕 #spreadthelove #endrapenow #endrapetips #friendshipforever #rapenever

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HUGE thanks to everyone who made their way to our CrossFit fundraiser yesterday!! Cheers to your commitments to being empowered to feel safe in your bodies! Our campaign is still going on for another 10 days… Please consider donating any amount! Thanks for the support! Click here to donate: bit.ly/ern2015

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Happy Halloween!! 🎃💀👻 Remember to stay safe this weekend! #endrapenow #nogenderstereotypeshere #happyhalloween

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Exploring Slut Shaming, Especially on Halloween

Written by MacRorie Dean and Lydia Billings 10/31/15

Halloween is here! The air is crisp and fall-ey, the smell of candy corn saturates the grocery store, and many of us are getting ready to party this weekend.

We’re excited to celebrate, and we know you are too, but it’s also the perfect time to take a look at celebrating responsibly, especially in the face of some of our most problematic traditions.

In many ways, Halloween is a crystal clear image of the systems of oppression operating in U.S. culture in any given year. Racism is visible in the yearly reappearance of blackface (or brown face or yellowface) costumes on white college students and/or celebrities. Class becomes starkly visible in costume construction or purchasing, and, of course, sexism runs rampant.

Ever since Mean Girls was released in 2004 the trope of halloween as the fall slut holiday has been repeated each October:  

“Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.” Except that everyone has a lot to say about it. While you can argue that sexism is, overall, decreasing and even that our culture has moved on from judging (white) women based on their clothes, Halloween costumes seem to be the exception. Suddenly, in the last few weekends of October it’s okay to make assumptions about a person’s character based on their clothing.

First of all, we’d like to discourage you from doing this: observing a person’s clothing does not provide you adequate information about who they are, what they want, or anything else about their character. If you know folks who might need more assistance in not being terrible this Halloween, we encourage you to check out this article from xojane and share it widely.

However, today we also want dig a little deeper into the assumptions, oppressions, and general basic-ness of this whole issue. Why are women wearing sexy costumes? Why do people slut shame them? Which costumes are shamed and which aren’t, and why?

Essentially, we could replace the word “costume” in the above paragraphs with “clothing” and be writing the same piece. Navigating the fluid space between a “slutty” costume and a “conservative,” “safe,” or “appropriate,” one is not different from the daily work of appearing female/feminine without offending anyone or “asking for” a negative response. It’s the beauty myth and thevirgin/whore dichotomy in fashion form.

For example, when dressing for work, women are expected to display a certain level of professionalism that often aligns with traditional ideas about femininity. This includes attention to hair, skin, nails and accessories that reflect wealth and whiteness; attractive clothing that isn’t masculine but also isn’t too feminine; and (in some cases) a varied wardrobe with minimal repetition. Things like skirt length, neckline, and tightness of clothing are constantly negotiated in women’s lives, and not only when they’re getting dressed for a halloween party.

Despite the absolutely-nothing-new-ness about judging women’s clothing, our culture tends to zero in on Halloween costumes as a site for reinforcing white supremacist heterosexist patriarchy. We believe this is because of the freedom of being in disguise. Costumes disguise us, allowing us to put on a different face and even behave differently than we might out of costume. Yes, people may wear clothing that’s more revealing or just completely different than their usual wardrobe. However, people may also feel more free to judge others based on their clothing.

We also want to take a look at the disparity in costume choices that are available here. Women, who are already objectified in our society, are given the (limited) option to choose between highly objectified characters: princesses, french maids, female superheroes who don’t stand on their own, but are hidden in the shadows of male superheros. The idea that we have freedom to express who we are and dress as we choose, is a fantasy. Not to mention, the women who dress most revealingly or “slutty” often have those choices reinforced by the attention they receive. Women have been trained to be objectified, and it all comes full circle.

We’re interested in providing and celebrating empowering and authentic character/costume options. The fact that Ruth Bader Ginsberg costumes are on the rise is a victory. She’s being heralded for her leadership and commitment, not for her appearance or body.

Party, celebrate, eat all the candy you’d like, but here’s the bottom line:

Choose a costume that empowers you and doesn’t disempower anyone else (ie: blackface, etc.)

If someone makes a disrespectful, sexist, or racist comment about how you look, make sure they actually get why that’s not okay.

Trick or Treat!

Article written by MacRorie Dean and Lydia Billings, co-founders of the group, End Rape Now. For more information, visit our website and follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and of course Tumblr!

END RAPE NOW IS A COLLECTIVE OF ARTISTS, ACADEMICS, AND UNIQUELY SKILLED INDIVIDUALS DEDICATED TO ERADICATING RAPE.

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Look how excited we are that y'all are donating to our campaign!!! We are so happy to be able to get your support to help us spread the word about #rape and #rapeculture. We will be using funds to travel around the country this coming year to teach about #sexeducation. Keep the love coming! bit.ly/ern2015 #endrapenow #ovationtv #rockethub #contest #creativestudio

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You heard us, people. #endrapenow #endrapetips #verbalconsent #knowyourlimits

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Exploration is a part of life...but sex IS THE EXCEPTION. Know you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. #endrapenow #nomeansno #endrapetips #knowyourlimits

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7 Ways to End Domestic Violence for #DVAM2015

We’re nearing the end of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to get involved! Domestic violence is an issue that affects communities everywhere all year round. There are always opportunities to raise awareness and support survivors. In honor of all survivors, here are 7 ways YOU can #SeeDV and #TakeAStand against domestic violence.

1. Speak Up: If you know someone who’s being hurt by their partner, remind them they deserve to be safe and respected. If you know someone who’s hurting their partner, remind them that they are the only ones who can change their behavior. In both cases, ask how you can help (if it’s safe to do so!). You can do a lot by simply speaking up. Not sure how to start? First, learn and share the warning signs of abuse. Then check out these posts on helpingfriends/family members and helping people who abuse. Keep in mind you can call, chat or text with a loveisrespect advocate 24/7!

2. Learn About and Share Resources: Everyone deserves support in breaking free from abuse, but it’s hard to know where to begin. Here are some ways you can help connect people to the right supports: Find community spaces at school or on your campus to post information about healthy relationships, abuse and/or where to find help. Find downloadable materials to print/share here. If you’re involved with groups or sports at your school, organize a time to talk about healthy relationships. You can also help local domestic violence crisis centers with food/clothing drives, volunteering or promoting their community events. Find out about local programs by checking with a teacher, counselor, or use the United Way website. Some resources our advocates suggest researching and sharing are Your Life Your Voice, GLBT Youth Talkline, Scarleteen and, of course, loveisrespect! Keep in mind you can always keep these resources saved in your phone or in a notebook to share with people who ask for help.

3. Share/Like/Post: You’re not alone in wanting to end domestic violence, and social media is another powerful tool for connecting people with help. Agencies like NCADV, Futures without Violence, loveisrespect and the National Domestic Violence Hotline are continually posting content to empower survivors and allies. You can do your part by liking/sharing on social media. With an estimated 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experiencing some form of physical abuse in their lifetime, it’s likely you know someone who could use the information. Want to be more active in your digital advocacy? Ask questions in comment sections so agencies have more opportunities to engage. Create your own inspiration on Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest to expand the reach of smart, positive advocacy.

4. Vote/Call/Email: Survivors of violence depend on stronger and more effective legislation. In 1994 the Violence Against Women Act brought a new era of liberation by funding a variety of programs and increasing legal protection for domestic violence and sexual assault survivors. Today, victims still struggle to get access to lifesaving protective orders, custody arrangements, and other legal remedies. Stay tuned to agencies, like NNEDV, that are pushing for legislation, and when they need it, call/email/write to voice your support. If you’re 18 or over, register to vote and use your vote to support representatives and laws that help survivors. One particular area of advocacy to pay attention to this DVAM is teens and domestic violence law. Survivors under 18 often face barriers to learning about their legal rights, making police reports, and obtaining protective orders. Learn more about laws and teen dating abuse at womenslaw.org.

5. Practice Healthy Relationship Skills: DVAM is an opportunity for us all to tune-up our relationships. Healthy, happy partnerships are intentional. When was the last time you talked with your partner about what a “fair” fight looks like? Or when did you last ask yourself, or your partner, “Do I/you feel loved, listen to, supported?” For guidance on starting that talk, read our “Spring Tune Up” post. If you’re single and interested in dating, take the time to write out what you’re looking for in a partner or what boundaries are important to you.

6. Check In on Campus and Work Policies: Physical and emotional safety is key for healing from violence. For many students, having to share a campus and/or dorm with an abusive partner is a huge barrier. If you know someone who is being abused, you can help them create a high school or college campus safety plan. You can also advocate for all survivors by learning more about your school’s policy on dating and sexual violence. For university students, see what your school is doing with Title IX to protect sexual assault survivors.

The workplace is another important source of support for survivors. Money is frequently a barrier to freedom for survivors. An important conversation is growing around how employers can keep the lifeline of work available to victims of violence. It’s vital that all survivors (and all people) know their rights at work. Anyone attached to a workplace can promote the cause of survivors by understand work policies around safety, leave, counseling/EAP, etc. Become part of the talk around work and domestic violence by checking out this post on financial abuse, and this post from The Hotline on employee rights.

7. Stay in the Conversation: The dialogue on domestic violence is easier to shut out than we might think. We assume people who need help will reach out. We assume when survivors reach out there are sufficient police and social service agencies to help them. We assume that abuse ends when people leave. Worse, we assume that we don’t know someone who is in a toxic relationship. Binary thinking and abuse mythologies are social barriers that DVAM is designed to break down. Moreover, DVAM sheds light on unique issues faced by survivors, like those who are GLBT,male, teens, disabled persons, and all others who aren’t represented by the typical TV-movie-depiction of domestic violence.

We all have a chance to shape the movement against violence. So stay in engaged. Tell your story. Ask tough questions. Look at your relationships. When October ends, and it’s time to throw that old candy corn away, know more than you do now and be better prepared to make your community safe. Because everyone deserves a healthy relationship!

This post was contributed by Emma, a loveisrespect advocate

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Follow these wonderfully simple steps for a healthy and beautiful relationship!!

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Introducing End Rape Tips!! Stay tuned for some do's and don'ts when it comes to sex, relationships, and just in general life lessons. #endrapetips #letslearn #endrapenow #notpsychic #letstalk

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“touch my bodaaaaah. or don't. either way it's cool cuz i respect u.” great words from Laci Green

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End Rape Now is now LIVE in launching our campaign! We have teamed up with Ovation TV and Rockethub to get our message out: time to end rape with creative means. We need YOUR help. By donating to our cause, we will be able to travel around the country this year to use the power of art through theatre, dance, playwriting, photography, and more, to teach and support new conversations sexual education to college campuses. We are committed to specifically using art as a tool for healing and recovery and to build communities that do not tolerate sexualized violence. If this is something you are committed to also, please donate now by visiting http://bit.ly/ern2015 or clicking the photo above!!

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50 Women Accuse Cosby of Rape

Written by Lydia Billings, August 24, 2015

Bill Cosby has now been publicly accused of sexual assault by 50 women and "is scheduled to appear in court Oct. 9 in connection with a lawsuit filed by a woman who accuses him of sexually assaulting her at the Playboy Mansion when she was only 15 years old."

What does this mean? How do things shift as we bring into focus 30, 40, 50 women who have been hiding in fear all these years? 

I can't help but believe there are more still hiding. What does this signify for survivors around the country and around the world?

I grew up watching and listening to Cosby's stand-up shows on cassette and VHS tapes with my brother. We laughed full-belly laughs and imitated his jokes for years. We adored him.

When the first allegations against Cosby surfaced publicly, I was shocked, if not outright skeptical. My gut couldn't let me believe that a comedian I'd admired and perceived as so loving, humble, and kind could be the same man who raped and assaulted women (and lots of them). On top of my own socialized reaction to dis-believe these assaults, the nation stood shocked with me. What the fu*k was going on here?? Could this be true?

Why don’t we believe survivors when they tell us they’ve survived rape?

Rebecca Ruiz, of Slate, writes of the consistent disbelief that police officers reported in Burlington, Vermont when managing rape reports:

“This is rape culture in action. It puts the burden of proving innocence on the victim, and from Steubenville, Ohio, to Notre Dame and beyond, we’ve seen it poison cases and destroy lives. But science is telling us that our suspicions of victims, the ones that seem like common sense, are flat-out baseless.”

Ruiz dissects what happens neurologically as a rape occurs and then afterward, as a survivors attempts to recall and describe the act. Disassociated states caused by the trauma itself as well as memory fragmentation can leave survivors struggling to remember full details. (full article below)

Whether or not my personal gut reactions were aligned with this explanation or more with my adoration of Cosby as a child, I am responsible for believing and empowering survivors. It’s up to me to manage those doubts and questions that have come up for me in the past. I will never ask a survivor to prove their assault to me. There simple is no need.

Thankfully too, we've come a long way on a community level and I no longer hear as much of those familiar murmurings that discounted survivors' stories and defended Cosby. Is this because of the sheer number of women speaking out? And if so, why didn’t we believe the first few who reported? Have we finally become sick of hearing about the graphic and traumatic acts Cosby performed? Has our love for him finally run out?

Can we enjoy his comedy and also believe he needs to take responsibility for the trauma he has caused?

I’m actually asking.

Why Cops Don’t Believe Rape Victims (Brain Science Helps Explain The Problem - And Solve It) Rebecca Ruiz, Slate

Article written by Lydia Billings, co-founder of the group, End Rape Now. For more information, visit our website and follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and of course Tumblr!

END RAPE NOW IS A COLLECTIVE OF ARTISTS, ACADEMICS, AND UNIQUELY SKILLED INDIVIDUALS DEDICATED TO ERADICATING RAPE.