good and quiet @enfant-de-sable - Tumblr Blog

Plans for crying in the car during my lunch break derailed by my car being parked half a mile away at a charging station

#i am not wasting 20min of my lunch walking there and back again

I wish I knew what I am or what I want. I’m almost thirty and I literally still can’t tell if I’m aromantic or if I just don’t like men or if I’m demiromantic but could hypothetically like anyone or demi but only for genderqueer people and women. I wish I could just figure it out!! Hypotheticals are so useless. I can convince myself of anything. I want to be in love so bad but the first and last time I ever had a crush was 20fucking16. Being on dating apps is like, well are you willing to wait 6 months to a year to see if I want to kiss you? I’ve been on three dates with a guy who’s so sweet and shares so many of my interests and all I felt when he asked to kiss me was uncomfortable. Fuck.

#UGH

Something is definitely wrong because I has a near full day of rest and then I worked one (1) day and felt so overwhelmed I felt like a wild animal in a cage. I want a break but I just had a vacation. When will it be summer. What is wrong with me

#genuinely cannot tell if it’s really overwork or what #the state of the world?#four months of the luteal phase?#(i went to a dr)#anyway #LET ME OUT!!!!!!!

verdijeva-opera

Lake Ohrid, North Macedonia

academic-vampire

𝔞 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯’𝔰 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔰𝔢

Okay I’ve eaten so I feel better but I have to say this Ramadan has been really difficult for me so far. I’m a lot more irritable. I generally am able to not get mad but this year I’ve had to be gentle on myself and allow myself moments of irritation as long as it’s only in my head and I don’t express or act on it. I think it’s because there’s so much shit happening in the world. Just mountains and mountains of shit. And everytime you think you’ve got a good understanding of the pile and how much work it will take to fix what’s that again? That’s right, more shit

#like it is so hard not to get mad when i’m overworked and underpaid and the president of the united states is committing war crimes to #cover up is pedophilic and rapist history and voting rights are being messed with and neighbors are being kidnapped and other neighbors are #being selfish dicks on nextdoor and tech companies are enshittifying at a rate measurable by the speed of light and and and #it’s just too much #on top of all the medical shit i’m struggling to keep up with it’s just so much shit #too many things!!!

New motto for 2026:

DON’T DIE WONDERING

#trans #transgender #also related to other things in my life but i have GOT to email the surgeon’s office back #also maybe try t #i realize that seems backwards but there is no roadmap to being nonbinary idk what to tell you