ENIGMATIC

I paint rainbows over boring blue skies...

[enigmatic999]

Today was a good day.

My husband and I felt completely deflated yesterday. Work was overwhelming, the kids were just demanding as fuck (as per usual) and our home was a mess.

We sat outside on the floor bed with our 2 year old and baked in the sun for over an hour - talking about how much we had on our plate and how we were basically playing life of the hardest level!

It’s crazy to think about the amount of pressure we’re dealing with right now. I mean let me give you some perspective into what we have going on:

• FOUR kids to raise

• Full time day jobs

• Growing a fricken business

• working from home with an 8 month old and 2 year old. (I actually don’t know how we get any work done)

• Gotta cook and prep food everyday

• gotta make sure there’s food in the house

• gotta make sure the house is clean

• gotta stick to a budget so we can squash our debt

• gotta make time to study!

• gotta deal with needy people in life who complain that we don’t call or visit 🫠

• gotta work out so we don’t turn into fat and fragile slobs.

• gotta clean ourselves and these kids. (This one is never a priority)

• gotta do the washing

• gotta support our older kids with school stuff (again, not a priority)

• gotta scream and shout coz these kids test us

Okay that’s all I can think of - but damn! It’s a lot bro. It’s a lot for anyone to deal with.

But my point is, today was a great day! Joy comes in the morning..I can attest to this. Lizabeth came through to clean this mess of a house, I mean it was so messy that I have to wake up an hour before she came just to tidy up so she would judge us less.

for some reason the sun was feeling generous today coz I literally washed every blanket in my house, plus the towels and it got dry!

We cleaned half the garage and made bomb homemade pizza 🤤🍕

Hubby and I also agreed to something big today - we are going to hire Elizabeth full time. This is going to be a game changer for our sanity!

Sermon for today is:

Be useful so that God can use you to bless others.

Until next time ✌️

[enigmatic999]

Day 1

This is going to be interesting. South Africans are on official lockdown for 21 days due to Covid 19 epidemic.

I’m thankful that I have my family with me;

That we are healthy;

That we have a roof over our head;

That we have food to eat;

I pray that God continues to provide and bless my immediate family; extended family; friends; colleagues and most importantly all the humans around the world right now.

We are all experiencing the same epidemic and it is a lot to process...

Alana wants a hello kitty dress when all this “corona virus” stuff is over..I really hope there will be an end to this horrible time we are facing and a new fresh healthy world awaits us on the other side 🌍

[kpfun]

#mood

[enigmatic999]

#covid19

[quotesndnotes]

🦋

[poems-and-word]

[enigmatic999]

This is deep!

[enigmatic999]

[enigmatic999]

Weirdest thing I’ve googled today:

Why did I just birth that poop 💩

[enigmatic999]

“We all have a chapter we don’t read out loud”

-Someone on Tumblr

[enigmatic999]

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you LORD!!

For all you are and all you’ve done ♥️

[enigmatic999]

I feel sick to my stomach when we fight 🥺

[enigmatic999]

My reaction when people say “Morning” in a weird way

[enigmatic999]

Embracing your natural beauty is a game changer!

[enigmatic999]

Scared...Overactive sweat glands...READY! you won't believe what happened to me..heck if it didn't happen to me I wouldn't even believe it.

[enigmatic999]

Yeahp!

[enigmatic999]

Late night thoughts...

Life is weird...why does the shit that happen, happen?

Just cyber stalked the woman that damn near destroyed my marriage almost a year ago...geeez I cannot believe it’s been one whole year since that shit show happened...anyway...she’s not the only one to blame...my husband played a big role in that mess as well...anyway..she’s pregnant and expecting a baby boy in about 4 months time...

2 thoughts running through my mind:

1 - That could have been my husbands child and life as I know it right now could have been very very different

2 - He would have been so happy to have a son...even if it did come from her...

I don’t know how he feels about her anymore...does he wish that she was carrying his baby and he would finally have his little boy? Or is he completely over her and whatever that was?

I will never know I guess..and do I really want to know the truth?

All he told me was probably what he knew I needed to hear...never the whole truth..I could feel it

Anyway! That’s in the past I guess and thank God she has her own man now and stopped chasing after man!

Xoxo

Damaged Goods

[enigmatic999]

Resentment

“I wish I could believe you, then I'll be all right But now everything you told me really don't apply To the way I feel inside Loving you was easy once upon a time But now my suspicions of you have multiplied And it's all because you lied only give you a hard time 'Cause I can't go on and pretend like I haven't tried to forget this But I'm much too full of resentment just can't seem to get over the way you hurt me Don't know how you gave another who didn't mean a thing, no The very thing you gave to me I thought I could forgive you, and I know you've changed As much as I wanna trust you, I know it ain't the same And it's all because you lied only give you a hard time 'Cause I can't go on and pretend like I haven't tried to forget this But I'm much too full of resentment may never understand why I'm doing the best that I can, and I I tried and I tried to forget this I'm much too full of resentmentI'll always remember feeling like I was no good Like I couldn't do it for you like your mistress could And it's all because you liedLoved you more than ever More than my own life The best part of me I gave you It was sacrifice And it's all because you lied only give you a hard time 'Cause I can't go on and pretend like I tried and I tried to forget this But I'm too damn full of resentment I know she was attractive, but I was here first Been ridin' with you for six years Why did I deserve to be treated this way by you, you? I know you're probably thinking "what's up with B?" I been crying for too long what did you do to me? I used to be so strong, but now you took my soul I'm crying can't stop crying, can't stop crying You could have told me that you weren't happy I know you didn't wanna hurt me But look what you done to me now I gotta look at her in her eyes And see she's had half of me (you lie) How could you lie? (you lie)”

[enigmatic999]

Jaded in July...

Although July has now come and gone, I'm still stuck in a state of disillusionment and sadness. 

So many negative things have happened, I'm finding it difficult to stay positive about what once gave me so much joy.

Sometimes I do think there's hope, but then BAM those negative thoughts and memories creep up on me and just like that, jaded all over again.

Maybe August will be better...