erik's not here

so these words and things will stand in for him

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we only wanted to be loved. work in progress.

we only wanted to be loved. work in progress.

I was brought up with sulphurous devotion: my mother committed to a demanding god who I was told loved me with such passion that I in my six year old faith believing that the world was put together harmoniously was shaken to inconsolable pieces once brought to the understanding that he was ready to torture me with the full fire and zealotry of unleashed paternal rage from the moment of my death…

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[eriktript]

Why Radical Academics Often Find it Hard to Write, and What to Do about It

Why Radical Academics Often Find it Hard to Write, and What to Do about It

one of the millions of voices in my head needed this. now to find what the other 999,999 need.

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[eriktript]

oh beast! nightmares of sheep. goats. fire that sinks like water.

oh beast! nightmares of sheep. goats. fire that sinks like water.

We wait. I may be here when they lock the doors.

I am here to tell someone about the rate of attrition  how at dusk

all the people disappear.

I live on the hippest street in the nation Or the second hippest if you are thinking about the other one I don’t know its name myself although I think I know where it is. Unless it is someplace else. But I am certain that my street is hipper than any street…

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she wrote it down so I thought ok I will do this one more time

she wrote it down so I thought ok I will do this one more time

I put a comment on this one blog post that has somehow drawn almost everyone to it: “He Wrote It Down“. I am copying the comment or that is I have already copied the comment I left and plan on pasting it here at the end of this which is mainly just a pointer to where or why or how I decided to make this one comment on the internet.

Because it can happen that I think I have no words until it…

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[eriktript]

first in a series of series of declared series I am so frustrated I could file a class action lawsuit! If, you know, I had a lawyer.

[eriktript]

it came to me at 3 AM

it came to me at 3 AM

if I had a place that is if there were a word a nice simple everyday easy to pronounce word for this points crotchward or this points faceward or this arms outstretched as if to say

if there were then probably I would be happy to give it give it up that is let us all be undefined uncontained happy free from tyranny a frolic around a grave labeled labels

if there were such

or if she had said…

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[eriktript]

Why lesbians don't get AIDS

Why lesbians don’t get AIDS

The year I am not sure of but the time span at least manageable I can say for certain that it was at least 1982 and proably not yet 1984 or 5. By 1982 I had figured out that part of the most likely explanation for the last several years of confusion was that I was gay. And by that I mean I was a lesbian except I never did like that word but I don’t think that by 1982 I had tried on ‘dyke’ for…

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[eriktript]

Undiagnosed in remission?

I am not sure what is going on here. That is, I seem to have stopped posting this version of my autobiography even though I have several tens of thousands of words still unrevisited and unedited and I think eventually I will just spellcheck them all and dump them out as-is or maybe I will check for names first and remove them.

But until I do that, I think most of what other sorts of autobiography…

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[eriktript]

plain speech

This is not finished or at least I know I have plenty more to say but today if the voices in my head were still saying things very loudly they would be saying post some shit already!

There are tons of unfinished things and this is one of them. I am going to go start on something else now and if I do not finish it maybe I will still be compelled to post some shit when I wake up tomorrow.

This was…

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@_IMAlive Rules of life

@_IMAlive Rules of life

Amendation:

1. Understand your past and accept the old you.     It will help you to know what your past selves needed but were unable to find.      2. What other people think of you is out of your control.     How other people act toward you is unpredictable, but you have every right to tell them to stop whatever they are doing. 3. Time moves even when it feels like it is standing still.     Have compassion for yourself especially if you are stuck in time: it will help time to move again. 4. Happiness is neither a given nor a responsibility.     Like any emotion, it will resist taking orders. Like any emotion, it probably has something to say directly to you that will help. Listen to it. 5. Don't judge yourself by others' lives     and don't judge them by yours. Compassion is an all-way street. 6. Think even when they tell you it is bad for you.     It is ok not to have all the answers. It is courageous to ask whether the questions need to change and to learn why and how to change them if that is the case.      7. Smile if you feel like smiling. Cry if you feel like crying.     Your problems are however difficult they are. You are not obliged to pretend otherwise.

[eriktript]

bring me the pill for infelicitous birth

This was going to be mainly about what is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but now since two…

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the day after after that other day

Written the day after Christmas ie about a month ago

26 Dec 2013

As usual I do not know where to…

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[eriktript]

I am but thirty years behind myself. Here are five minutes only it took all day.

This week I am almost in the mood to construct a long, wide-ranging, single draft from beginning to end and yet relatively coherent manifesto. 

Almost.

I have become preoccupied with voice. Voices, even: those whose near- but not-quite-appearance earned…

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[eriktript]

so I said this is not finished so I said post it anyway so I said ok I hope you know what you are doing so I said of course I do

http://wp.me/pfi0Z-81

I do not even know where to begin.

I have begun. I have begun and I have begun.

So many starts that by now fifty thousand or so of me are deeply involved with their chosen labyrinths each one as necessary and urgent as all of the others combined which…

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[eriktript]

introductory preface to a prolog on the combination and recombination of networks of terrestrial systems on Earth for the next few billion

I have this manifesto. Well I do not really have a manifesto. I have been trying to write one or it has been preoccupying me more than usual that having something to say is not the same as having the wherewithal to say it or the energy to take down out of…

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[finneykrock441-deactivated20131]

 In the early days of the Velvet Underground, Lou Reed and John Cale had a day job playing Batman and Robin at birthday parties.

[eriktript]

Off to ask my librarian friends how to source this.

Cause if it's true it's awesome but if not is just amusing to think about. Either way nobody loses.

[eriktript]

after Jackson

Some short time after 24 Feb 2011: some short time after I looked at Jackson and decided that I could not ask him to live through the weekend to the following Monday as he crouched hunched up and obviously uncomfortable anywhere but in my lap with a puppy…

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