Uncharismatic

[erinw3go]

I genuinely get disappointed in the youth when I see people talking about using AI to write fanfiction.

What happened to the badly written lemons you would read on Wattpad when you come from 7th grade? What has happened to us as a society?

We have lost our roots.

[erinw3go]

“Erin why aren’t you posting as often.”

My meds made me grow a bit of a subconscious and is making me put things in draft and think about it before I post.

Don’t worry, I’m fixing this issue. Gonna go cold turkey to get my edge back.

[eokiba-um]

[erinw3go]

People love to redesign poor characters but then never give them the fucked up teeth to match it.

Idk this is random. I just thought about this because I love looking at Kenny fanart and as someone who grew up in poverty, his teeth too straight and white.

Oh wait, unless he got veneers. That is kinda funny.

[erinw3go]

Checking a a03 tag and realizing it’s only you and one other person that’s adding to it.

We’re the only audience. 

[erinw3go]

Watching the resurgence of Overwatch ships knowing damn well when I was 11 I wrote a Mercy x Widowmaker fanfic and kept that shit literally locked behind the equivalent of a safe vault.

It’s really my time to shine yall.

[erinw3go]

not proofread in the slightest, wrote this as basically a single train of thought

— —

Little Dennis always had to hide his secret. He could barely even admit it to himself, he definitely couldn’t show it to anyone.

Well— for at least a while.

It’s one of those days in the ED where they all are going everywhere, don’t have time to sit and definitely don’t have time to talk. Dennis is exhausted, not just in a heavy work day kinda way, in an utterly miserable and empty pit in his stomach kind of way, but everyone’s like that so he’s not much different, except he is. He is because when he finally sneaks away from his lunch he goes back up to where he had been sleeping before Trinity let him move in. Sitting on one of the beds, a single apple that had a single bite taken out of it while he stared blankly at the wall ahead of him.

It’s hard being burned out but it’s even harder when you’re trying to stop yourself from sobbing and sucking your thumb like a baby. God. He was not a bad. He— it was disgusting. It was disgraceful. That’s what he knows his mother would say. He couldn’t give in. He couldn’t relax, not like that. He had to fight it.

He didn’t notice that Robby had basically had the same idea. A granola bar that he had shoved in his pocket was his only snack but like damn he was gonna eat it in peace. Robby came in quietly but even then Dennis heard him, straightening up and letting out a little shutter as he tried to collect himself and swallow his mushy apple in his mouth.

“Whittaker?” Robby called out and Dennis moved from his criss-cross leg position to put his legs over the side, like he was gonna stand.

“I’m sorry. I— I know this area is off limits. I just— I’m sorry.” Dennis’s words came out jumbled and the more he spoke the more he felt small, like a weight was being pressed down on his brain. It was pathetic. Robby made him feel safe, even if he had just spooked him so even if he was freaking the fuck out, a small part of him beamed that the older was there.

“You aren’t in trouble. It’s— fine. Shit. You don’t look so good.” Robby muttered as he got closer. At the closer proximity Dennis flinched away, the staring alone feeling like too much. Especially with his eyes doing that glassy thing it always did the further he fell down.

“I—I’m just tired.” Dennis whispered.

“No shit. We all are.” Robby replied and Dennis gave a sharp nod as his response.

It was quiet for a moment, maybe not a moment, it may had been a few moments if he’s honest. Dennis isn’t very good at keeping track of time when he’s like this. “Whittaker.” Robby calls out and there is a lace of not only confusion but concern in his tone. Dennis gives a gentle hum as he blinked and finally remet Robby’s eye contact and that’s when Robby’s face softened, not that Dennis really saw it. His vision’s a little blurry but he honestly couldn’t really tell you why, thinking felt kinda hard right now.

“Dennis?” Robby called out gently again. Taking a step closer to the intern. “You gotta tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. I’m not a mind reader.” It doesn’t come off annoyed, the way his tone is makes Dennis want to smile, no one’s ever talked to him so sweetly, not when he was like this. It made Dennis wanna trust him, this was all hard and right now if he was honest, he didn’t think going downstairs was an option. “You gotta use your words Dennis.” Robby says, holding a sense of authority and structure that Dennis craved. Dennis gives him a small nod, the first real sign that he was even actually listening in a while.

“I don’t know how to—“ Dennis paused his words because everything felt so jumbled. Robby didn’t miss the little look of confusion on Dennis’s face but he stayed quiet, patient, because well fuck, god forbid he have a favorite intern and give him all the time in the world to tell him what’s wrong so he can help fix whatever is going on in that pretty head of his. “Sometimes— I get small.” Dennis said. “It— it just happens and I don’t really know how to make it stop.” Robby frowned.

“I need you to try and explain it a little more for me Dennis.” Robby said because Robby could be open, he could understand, he just needed Dennis to give him something to actually try and understand besides vague secret wording.

“M’small up here.” Dennis whispered and he pointed a finger up to his head. “It’s— it has a name. I saw it online. Had to google it because it kept happening and my ex kept saying it wasn’t n-normal.” Dennis was kind of blabbering unnecessary information now but Robby didn’t stop him. “But it is normal. It— it’s kinda normal. I found a lots and lots of people who do it. I don’t do it exactly like them though. I— I don’t mean to go down like this, just happens.” Dennis said. “Makes me feel small. Like— like when I was a kid. But I— I’m not a baby.” Dennis furrowed his brow a little as he said that part, like he expected Robby to shout that he was back at him for whatever reason. Robby stayed silent for a moment, he’ll admit he was a little confused but here was Dennis who, with the growing lingering silence, curled back a little, his bottom lip wobbling as the glossy eyes became watery. “M’trying to make it stop. M’trying r’igh’now.” Dennis can barely talk now, or it least it feels like that to him.

“Hey. No. I’m—“ Robby says quickly and he paused to collect his words. “You don’t have to stop. It’s normal right?” Dennis gave a little nod but the lip wobbling didn’t stop. “Do you have someone who— watches you?” Dennis shook his head. “Are you supposed to?” Robby asked because it was a good question, if he was in a foggy state like this he should have someone watching him.

“I think.” Dennis replied.

“Why don’t you?” Robby asked and a single tear rolled down the younger’s cheek.

“It’s weird.” Dennis replied and his tone felt so stern even with the wavering voice. “It’s— it’s weird.” He said it louder this time. “It’s weird. I’m weird. I’m—“ The statement quickly turned into a babbling phrase, filled with much self-hatred that Robby didn’t think twice as he finally closed the distance and wrapped his arms around the other. Dennis let out a sharp sob and curled his fingers into the other’s clothes, snot starting to pour from his nose as he pushed his head into his collar. Robby shushed him, a gently noise meant to bring comfort. A wounded sound was all Robby got as a response from the other but it was more than he expected.

They stayed like that for a while until Robby pulled Dennis back because the older man was getting worried that at the angle his face was, Dennis may not have been getting air. Robby couldn’t stop himself from wiping gently at his cheeks at the fallen tears and Dennis leaned into it. “Shift’s basically over.” Robby said. “We’ll head down, clock out and go to my place, yeah?” Dennis nodded at the plan, because Robby smelled like wood and smoke and a comforting musk and he wanted him to hold him in his arms again.

[erinw3go]

Trying to decide how open and honest and evil and dissoluted I want to be on this account. My drafts right now are like delicately placed land mines in a thick overgrown forest.

It’s more of a “how much can I let loose and be free without the fear of hate” when my shit isn’t even that bad I’m just so used to an uptight and strict audience that I can’t even imagine the freedom I now have.

[poodledoodle3]

that's one way to shut him up

lmao. can u tell that liu is the one i actually wanted to draw

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[erinw3go]

hiss hiss

[erinw3go]

I love the dynamic of one person being a sick pervert and the other just degrading the shit out of it but also giving into it.

Do you see it? It’s like every ship dynamic and if it’s not, you could probably apply this dynamic to a set in minus 2 seconds without even really having to think about it.

[erinw3go]

I feel like I was clicker trained the second I hear Pork Soda.

Do you feel me?

[erinw3go]

I like to view Tumbler as a place where I can just log my every thought. Now are those thoughts a little— how do I put it. Perverted? Why yes. That’s why I post here and not say Twitter. I won’t get judged as harshly since we all kinda on the save wavelength over here.

[rizztaglia]

Bruce: It's pride month Tim

Tim: What? So you want me to solve crimes gayly??11/1/1!?!?!

Bruce: ... Tim: ... Bruce: ... Tim: Ok.

Bruce: ?????

Tim:

Bruce: ??

I like to imagine that Matt Fraction's Batman #9 happened in june cause why not.

[erinw3go]

Thinking about how maybe there’s a case that Dennis takes in the ED that really takes a toll on him. Maybe it’s a kid, an old man, doesn’t matter. It breaks something inside him.

Thinking about how maybe Robby sees him shatter. Finds him in the hospital chapel. Finds him in the front row, on his knees mumbling and it reminds him just of him. Remembers how calm Dennis was when he helped him. Realizes Dennis may have his own past with religion.

Thinking about how maybe Robby takes Dennis home, back to his place of course because Dennis doesn’t wanna freak Trinity out and god she’s bringing back Garcia and he cannot have either of them seeing him like this.

Thinking about how maybe Dennis opens up about the cruel unjustly punishments he received back home, all okay in the eye of the god his family worshipped. Dennis thinks maybe all of this, this death falls back on him because he ran. Robby just sits next to him quietly on the couch and nods, listening. That is until Dennis’s breathing gets a little too frantic as he starts remembering his father’s teachings. Robby tugs him into a hug and Dennis can breathe. He can’t remember the last time he got a hug. It feels good.

And just like before, maybe a little different and a little flipped. Robby helps Dennis back up.

[erinw3go]

I saw someone once post on here saying that once you go puppy Dennis you can’t go back.

They were right.

They got me.

It’s consumed me.