The Raving Mad Rants

[thelootwagonteam]

[catchymemes]

[r4cs0]

That GIF is killing me

[antifainternational]

In case you were looking for something to do today.

[galren]

check out this periodic table

[galren]

I have made a lot of bad jokes but this is still probably my greatest hit

[agentxpoe]

I’m on mobile and I just thought the image kept messing up

[thunderthightning-deactivated20]

i was playing scrabble and i had a B, U, R, G, E, and R and i thought “aha burger, one who burgs, but my mom will never accept that as a word” but then i remembered burger is actually a word

[lifewasted]

one time I played the word “am” and I thought, they can totally let that slide because of AM radio and A.M time.

then i remembered 

[undefindatawsome]

Scrabble does things to your mind that you can never come back from.

[mypartnersaysimcute]

I once was playing and put down ‘cow’ but in my mind I was saying it so it rhymed with ‘crow’ and I told my friend that it might not be a real word but I’m playing it and he can’t stop me and he looked me right in the eye and said it like how ‘cow’ is supposed to be said and I was so mad at myself I nearly flipped the board.

[savanacondadont]

My brother played the word ‘scrabble’ and my mom said, “I actually don’t think that’s a word.” And I said, “yes it is? ‘scrabbled eggs’???”

[lokacinna-deactivated20200703]

you know, considering how many times rich people are mentioned as sinful in the Bible versus how many times homosexuals are mentioned as sinful in the Bible, it’s really funny how I’ve never seen entire Christian organizations go out of their way to criticize, boycott, or deny services to rich people… 

weird how that works, huh

[crazyintheeast]

bold of you to assume that christians have read the bible

[puyopuyo]

the word “gay” actually comes from the word “gaywad” created by xbox live gamers and appropriated by the homosexual community, so you’re welcome

[roomofartisticcatz]

‘Gay’ actually used to mean happy. So did ‘Queer’.

[pswynnave-deactivated20201030]

no they didn’t

[roomofartisticcatz]

Ahem, look it up, please. It’s not the exact definition of happy but its close enough.

[pswynnave-deactivated20201030]

not true

[roomofartisticcatz]

Please, my dear, lovely genius, go to this lovely thing we call the internet and read the definitions of ‘gay’ and ‘queer’, which reads as quoted here, from my dictionary that I dug out just for you!

Gay (gā), adj.; GAY’ER (-er); GAY’EST. 1. Excited with merriment; merry. 2. Bright in appearance; brilliant in color.

Queer (kwēr), adj.

1. Differing in some odd way from what is ordinary; singular; peculiar. 2. A slang. Spurious; counterfeit; eccentric.

There you go, my dear ignoramus.

[pswynnave-deactivated20201030]

sorry but your “dictionary” doesn’t exist. gay people appropriated the word gaywad

[roomofartisticcatz]

Aghehegehem. I forgot about this, but I’m here now with picture proof of my dictionary.

Look! A cover of a book!

Look! A paragraph in the book!

Look! Another paragraph in the book!

Now, pswynnave, I know you’ve probably never seen one of these before and it’s probably scary, but don’t worry! It’ll only give you knowledge! Gasp!

[pswynnave-deactivated20201030]

how long did it take you to find that from google images?  nice try though…..

[roomofartisticcatz]

Anyway, even if I did google search it, it would still prove that it’s in a dictionary. Also, why would I lie about having a dictionary?

[pswynnave-deactivated20201030]

you tell me I’m not the one trying to die on a hill for the etymology of the word gay. seems like a gaywad thing to do if you ask me

[catgirlhell]

[penny-anna]

One of my fav things about Gandalf is, he can & canonically does Full Name hobbits when he’s angry like he’s their mum or something

[penny-anna]

important follow up Qs:

1) does it frustrate Gandalf that he can’t do this to Bilbo & Frodo with the same impact bcos they don’t have nicknames

2) does he do it to non hobbits

Gandalf, in the distance: ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN

Aragorn: oh shit I’m in trouble

[stevviefox]

I think when Gandalf is pissed with Hobbits he reverts to the extremely formal  Mister Baggins!

[penny-anna]

you’ve cracked it, that’s absolutely what he does

[fallenangelvictorious]

you know how mad he is based on how far back into your lineage he goes, consider:

Mild: Meriadoc Brandybuck! (last name only, you’ll probably live)

Mad: ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN! (now your ancestors are involved, bad)

Murderous: THORIN, SON OF THRÁIN, SON OF THRÓR! (you are maybe about to meet your ancestors, via Gandalf… and not glorious battle) 

[shaelit]

The scary thing about Gandalf is he’s been around long enough to have met your entire lineage, so the recitation has more oomph.

[aethersea]

“I knew your great-great-great-grandfather and he, too, was a bitter disappointment, but not as much as you are in this moment”

[charlesoberonn]

The myth of Achilles, but instead of holding him by the heel, Thetis sumberges him fully so that Achilles is completely invulnerable and Thetis has one invulnerable hand.

[charlesoberonn]

She only needs one oven mitt when taking cookies out of the oven.

[aphony-cree]

But there would still be two small parts of him that are vulnerable because they were covered by her fingertips at the time, stopping the water from touching them. Which means those fingertips are also vulnerable on her hand 

Achilles *putting those little round band-aids on two parts of his ankle before battle*

Thetis *knitting fingertip oven mitts for her thumb and forefinger*

This is a Greek comedy I could get behind 

[obaewankenope]

What if she put him in a sack and dunked him in? The water would saturate the sack and soak him and so long as she pulled him out quick, he wouldn't drown. Then they'd have a sack that's invulnerable too and can be used as the most unexpected shield ever.

Imagine Achilles storming Troy with one (1) invulnerable sack for a shield

[adspexi]

thetis just sticks him in one of these bad boys

and swirls him around like a batch of chicken nuggets until he’s invulnerable all over. 

[sarahconnorjr]

[omghotmemes]

In case you were living under a rock

[tiscomics]

Bonus+poem: https://is.gd/8qC3e4

[oldschoolvillageidiot]

Of COURSE John Mulaney is the first male comedian to have a good #MeToo joke. 

[charlesoberonn]

Bi girl and bi guy: *kiss each other*

Me: wlw and mlm solidarity

[navyasarchive-deactivated201905]

biphobes in the notes are big mad 

[iraffiruse]

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

this is probably one of the funniest things i’ve ever seen.

[teathattast]

smal

[teathattast]

two of them

[battychow]

Mitosis......

[tendie-defender]

Gunsmithing at its finest.

[coffeeandspentbrass-deactivated]

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

[unlimited-shitpost-works-deacti]

please say psych

[dangerbooze]

I don't understand what I'm looking at and I don't think I want to.

[fenris-calls]

How fucking embarrassing would it be to be shot by this

[beans345-deactivated20211127]