ââââââââ âŻâ soka supposed she could draw some satisfaction in the shock sheâd brought to asteriaâs features, some sort of sick pleasure in knowing sheâd outlived whatever the other woman had suspected sheâd endured. the knights of ren had fancied themselves the lone survivors, maybe they would be had kyloâs weakness or arrogance not allowed her to slip through his fingers. he would not make that mistake again, nor was she a pitiful creature anymore. she was dangerous and dedicated, and they should be afraid.
after kylo had left her to die, soka had reached out through the force to see if any of the other children were alive and burning like her and sheâd met nothing but silence, a wall of blackness that she couldnât penetrate that told her all she needed to know. no one else left in the temple was still breathing. not even the smoke in her lungs could stifle her cries. shamefully, sheâd mourned most for asteria. not for a moment had she thought that the girl would turn. it was unfathomable, inconceivable and nonetheless true. after all, here she was, a knight of ren. in a sense, it was true that her friend had died that night and what little innocence of soka that remained had been snuffed out a year later when sheâd discovered that asteria had livedâ oh how she wished she hadnât.
â but he didnât, â she interjected spitefully. kylo had made sure of nothing, a blunder than had allowed not only soka to slip through his fingers, but luke skywalker as well. â i suppose you lot didnât think i had it in me, after he cut off my leg, to drag myself out. â sheâd lost a limb, broken bones and burned so badly on parts of her skin, that itâd never healed to completion, but she was still HERE. â maybe he was weak, maybe just arrogant. but i promise you, asteria, iâm neither. â when the time came, soka knew better than to wound what she should kill.
sheâd never allowed herself to imagine the horrors the fallen had gone through that day, the images she had from that night already were enough to make anyone shut them out. all sheâd allowed herself to feel was the darkness and self-hatred that fuelled her, it was easier. it was easier than facing everything she betrayed that night. everything sheâd turned her back on to simply survive. even if surviving meant becoming the very thing she was meant to be fighting again.Â
but with soka in front of her and words like venom coming from her lips, even if she never played a direct part in the massacre, eris was faced with the reality of what her betrayal looked like. if it hadnât been for the name that left sokaâs lips, eris may have been able to regain her stoic composure, to not allow the other to see that her mere image brought far too many emotions she never allowed herself to feel.
it tripped her up. the darkness draining from her features, even if it was for a split second, as her head tilted. as if questioning that the name even belonged to anyone she knew. she hadnât heard the name, her name, in years. the girl she was meant to be. her chest eased for a moment, a breath leaving her lips. but as soon as a single drop of lightness had appeared it vanished in a wave of sickness. a sickness that she twisted into fuel to keep her from faltering. her jaw tightened as her eyes drained of any notion of emotion and her feet finally broke from where theyâd be frozen stuck and she moved towards soka. no hint of hesitation present in her movements.
âasteria died that night.â the words were spoken quietly, but they were nowhere near soft, âshe was weak. like you, like the jedi. you think youâre capable of facing kylo? you might survive to see another limb taken from you but nothing else, because where were you all these years?â hiding?âlike luke was?ââyou donât stand a chance.â
