001. tonight i feel like kafka / jealous of the birds
but it scares me to think that you, baby
don’t look at me that way
don’t look at my that way
002. as long as we’re together / the lemon twigs
well i don’t think i’ll be bitter
“hey you must not know yourself very well”
you will be silent
for a few months
but all that shit he said
i don’t know what i read
003. till death / japanese breakfast
your voice, in the night
sing me to sleep, soothe this insomnia
haunted dreams, stages of grief
repressed memories
anger and bargaining
004. riverside / fleece
dark and murky waves they splash the ground
colours bright underneath
but i’ll wait till morning ‘gain because
risking my world’s not that easy
005. futile devices / sufjan stevens
and i would say i love you
but saying it out loud is hard
so i won’t say it at all
and i won’t stay very long
006. also gesellschaft / methyl ethel
you have
so many miles to go
but you didn’t even know
you didn’t even know
007. still feel. / half•alive
so, when i lose my gravity in this sleepy womb
drifting as i dream, but i’ll wake up soon
to realize the hand of life is reaching out
to rid me of my pride, i call allegiance to myself
008. hannah hunt / vampire weekend
a man of faith said hidden eyes
could see what i was thinking
i just smiled and told him
that was only true of hannah
and we glided on through waverly and lincoln
009. bury me / great caesar
when i am laid to rest, i hope they bury me face down
(bury me, bury me, bury me, bury me, bury me down)
when: 28 november 1997, 23:00
where: third floor corridor
who: @erniemcmlln
seamus supposed that he really couldn’t do much better than getting partnered with ernie for patrol this shift. maybe sophie, but the chance of two gryffindors ever being paired together again seemed unlikely. at least he didn’t mind talking with macmillan. with most of the others, he’d told them to shove off, they’d cover more ground by splitting up anyway. it felt like he’d hardly seen the hufflepuff ( outside of the d.a., at least ) since halloween. that ridiculous party flickered across seamus’s mind — as did the hickey he’d given ernie, whoops — he would have laughed, if it hadn’t all felt so wrong. how did things manage to get so much worse than they’d already been in such a short amount of time?
there was so much weighing on them. all of them, but especially the d.a. they took ginny off the quidditch team for her suspected involvement, first gryffindor then the other teams and clubs were disbanded … who was to say that prefects themselves wouldn’t be next? as much as he tended to shirk the responsibilities, he still gripped his wand a little tighter at the thought. he couldn’t remember the last time that he hadn’t been on red alert, ready to drop everything and duel at a moment’s notice. easily not since halloween, if not before the term started. it felt like the target on his back was growing larger by the day, and he was sure he wasn’t alone in that feeling.
there were a ton of questions running through his mind, and damn it all. seamus had never been good with his words. he glanced over at ernie. it was almost comical that the two of them were considered to be on the same level now. “you’ve been awfully quiet tonight.” as though seamus had been talking nonstop. dumbass. “what’s on macmillan’s mind?”
he felt like a zombie, going through the motions of school. after his little outburst in muggle studies, he wasn’t sure what was going to happen to him; detention was a given, but after that, it was almost as if nothing had happened. he returned to class, and his extracurriculars like it was no big deal, his hadn’t been cancelled (at least at first), unlike quidditch though he never really cared for quidditch. (though he had to admit he would miss teasing megan about his lack of knowledge of the sport- it drove the other hufflepuff insane: he missed the days when that was the biggest problems they had)
prefect rounds used to be something that kept him sane, but they had become just another motion to go through just like everything else so he roamed through the corridors like a member of the undead- but at least zombies had a purpose. the d.a. only made him feel worse somehow; the fact that they just kept getting pushed down, again and again and all the while justin was out there, being dragged to azkaban and he wasn’t doing anything.
it was all that was on his mind these days.
“not much” he answered, he hated the way his voice threatened to tremor these days, like it was about to break. “i just-” he hesitated for a moment, “do you feel like what we’re doing matters?” he asked, feeling the need to get it off his chest.
stephen’s eyes widened for a moment, looking back at ernie. he wasn’t sure what he was expecting - but it wasn’t that. it wasn’t acceptance over the ballsy move stephen had made to kiss him - or worse, possibly encouragement. he fidgeted for a moment, but still didn’t step away from ernie, his arm still loosely wrapped around the other’s waist. this wasn’t what stephen wanted - he wasn’t looking for some sort of rebound or distraction to move on from things. if anything, this party had made him more aware of the fact that his feelings towards noah were still messy and complicated and more importantly - there. they hadn’t simply disappeared in the way he hoped they would’ve.
but nothing is ever simple, and all that’s on his mind right now is how stephen misses noah, and wishes it was him in this dark corridor alongside him, lips pressed against lips. his chest lurches at the mere thought, and it pulls him back closer to ernie, taking the other’s face in his hands and kissing him more.
and he continues like that for a moment, calloused fingertips running over ernie’s face as he kisses him deeper. for a moment, it’s almost enough - to revel in the feelings of being wanted. it’salmost enough to forget, but it’s not. the stark realization quickly comes that this isn’t what he wants - whether it’s ernie or whether it’s any other person out there. he doesn’t want this.
he doesn’t want this if it’s not with noah.
stephen pulls away quickly, thankful that the hallway is dark enough to hide however red his cheeks might be, because he’s feeling embarrassed. “sorry, it’s not-” it’s not you, he’s thinking.it’s me, this is my fault. he doesn’t even know what to say though - sorry i kissed you, but i’m having an emotional crisis? instead, he lets out a hollow laugh. “this isn’t a good idea. we’re roommates, friends…” he points out, as if he’s telling himself. “we should - get back to the common room before someone catches us out after curfew.”
kissing stephen was easy because it was simple. backed against the wall with his mouth on his, his mind was relaxed, and he could feel it wandering away, but when the other hufflepuff pulled away ernie wasn’t too surprised.
stephen wasn’t a bad kisser- on the contrary, he was quite good but he didn’t feel anything kissing this particular housemate. and god it made the small but still active part of ernie’s brain roll it’s eyes and groan because how fucking sappy is that? but kissing justin made his heart pound and put butterflies in his stomach in the best way, it was a feeling he couldn’t forget, but it didn’t happen with stephen.
and when stephen starts to why he pulled away it takes an immense amount of self-control not to interrupt him and reassure him that it was fine- it really was. though when he finally tried to speak the words seemed to get caught in his throat, so he simply nodded.
feeling awkward and only a little uncomfortable with their current situation ernie takes the lead in heading back to the common room, motioning stephen along with his head. it only takes him a moment to reorient himself, figuring out what part of the castle they’re in. as he walks he wraps an arm around stephen, leaning against him slightly for balance, trying to assure himself and the other hufflepuff that they didn’t have to be weird about what happened between them.
A moment, upon impact, hits you and you feel it too much that you can’t help but shatter. In one direction, hope went, abandoning Hannah as she cut her hands desperately trying to cling to it. In another direction, the feeling of composure, the ardent behavior she’d tried to get better at, Hannah feeling it abandon her as her cries got louder and louder, the tears falling quicker and quicker. Hannah shook along with Ernie. Anger broke off in another direction, though that was something she tried to abandon as often as possible knowing that her place in all this wasn’t to be angry. Ernie was next to her, she had to be strong for him, she HAD to be better for him – but she felt broken. They were shattered. Hannah felt guilty even thinking it, even if she only let herself believe it, sink in, for a mere moment, but her hope was gone.
What could she possibly say? She went to squeeze Ernie, tighter, but she knew she had to saysomething. She may not have known what they had gone through last year without her, but she knew it was something. If it was anything like what they were dealing with now, with the distance, the impossibility, the loss of hope, Hannah knew it was something deep, bonding, everlasting. Deeper than she could maybe even understand.
“We have to do something, this can’t happen. This can’t be happening,” she cried, though Hannah forced herself to propel a conversation forward, because though they were allowed to be sad, they were allowed to cry, they couldn’t stay fallen apart. Falling apart would happen when this was all over, Hannah begged, pulling strength from places she never felt herself capable of doing so before this year. It was in Justin’s smile, his laugh, the easy way he’d diffuse any situation with a joke, the way he never gave up.
She found strength in Justin, she prayed even, that maybe he could feel it. The way they needed him to stay ALIVE.
“We’re going to do something, we’re going to do something, um, okay,” she started, going to face Ernie, her hands gently squeezing his shoulders, his arms, in an effort to let him know she was there – in an effort to make sure she knew he still was. “What would he do? What do you think he’d do? What would Ginny do?”
the words still rang in his ears, AZKABAN, JUSTIN, AZKABAN, repeating in his mind over and over like a mantra and it boiled him inside. he swallowed it down past the lump in his throat that was strangling him, but he didn’t need to breathe right now, breathing could be secondary to the fury that welled up in his chest. but when he heard hannah cry he knew that he had to put that anger away, it wasn’t as important as her.
and as she hed him tighter he responded, wrapping his arms around her tight, clinging to her like a life-line, a horribly familiar feeling bubbling up reminding him that he had been here before; holding hannah in the hufflepuff dormitories, her mother being ripped from her grasp and god it was happening again, except this time he felt hot tears streaming down his face, he didn’t have the strength to be the strong one, not this time.
but they had always been good at that. figuring out when the other was too low to pick themselves up and being there for them. but they usually had another person to help as well.
and god when he thinks of justin the conflicting emotions that fill him. the first is always guilt. for every stupid thing he’d done, the way he treated him in sixth year, for not noticing the state of the ministry earlier, for being mad at his friend for not writing him back, not noticing he was in fucking danger. the next is usually heartache because now he knows, just how fucking in love with justin finch-fletchley he is, and the idea of justin not feeling the same way is too real, but now he might not ever get to know which leads to grief, which is followed by a combustion of other small emotions and feelings overlined with the sorrow that they won’t have a chance.
we’re going to do something
and he knows she right. compliance was not an option anymore and says the first thing on his mind, that has been on his mind since they got to hogwarts which was “leave,” he says, and it’s impulsive and half-hearted and he isn’t even really sure if he means it but he continues, “they wouldn’t stay here, the fight isn’t here.”
his lips move, one of his hands against the wall and the other resting against the ernie’s shoulder. it’s easy to get lost in it, at least until ernie’s pulling away and leaving stephen with the realization of what’s happened. out of all the stupid things that stephen has done through the course of the evening, this might be the stupidest of them all.
it’s the second time this evening that someone’s pulled away as stephen tried to kiss them, but at least ernie doesn’t say anything this time around, which means stephen can potentially walk away with some pride still in tact. “sorry,” he mutters, shaking his head slightly. this is a slippery slope - ernie is his roommate, someone he has to see on a daily basis. and if he were to make things awkward between the two of them, it’d just become far more uncomfortable living here - if that’s possible. letting out a shaky breath, he knows that deep down, he’s only acting like this because he misses noah. he misses having someone that he can just shut everything else out with, and he knows that if noah and he were still together, the birthday would’ve been much different.
“ – sorry,” he finally breathes, his lips brushing faintly against ernie’s as he does. neither of them have really moved from where they originally stood. there’s a brief realization that he’s kissed ernie without any warning or permission. “that was - that was stupid of me. we can forget this happened. if you want,” he mumbles, only to notice the way that ernie’s gaze flickered over his mouth once again.
stephen raises his brows as he catches ernie’s line of sight. “you okay?”
“don’t be sorry,” he says much to fast to not be a little embarrassed. if his cheeks could get any redder..
he takes a steadying breath through his nose, his mind ringing with two different trains of thought, one of don’t do that ernie, and another of why not why not? but he knows the answer to both. the don’t-because kissing wayne in spin the bottle was one thing, kissing stephen in the corridor was another. and he hated to admit that despite what he claimed he was a sentimental creature, and in the back of his mind the thought lingered that every kiss pushed the feeling of justin from his lips. before tonight the on-the-run hufflepuff had been the only person he’d ever kissed, and you love him, so much, his drunk mind supplied. it continued though, the why not- because you don’t only have to kiss people you love- especially if they don’t love you back.
because that was the case for both of them wasn’t it? they both loved people who didn’t love them back, so maybe that made it okay he thought to himself. maybe it’s why he said “we don’t have to,” forget? stop? he wasn’t even sure what he meant at this point, still intoxicated by the space between them “if you don’t want to i mean,”
It had become a habit of Sally-Anne’s to clench her fists under her desk during Muggle Studies. Less than a year ago, it had been her favorite class — it was so rare that a teacher actually took any interest in Sally-Anne and made her want to learn about the subject in return, but Professor Burbage had cared. She’d been the first (and perhaps only) adult to ever tell Sally-Anne that she was smart. That her opinions mattered. Now, Professor Burbage was gone without a trace, and in her stead sat the absolute beast of a woman Alecto Carrow. To whom Sally-Anne was forced to listen to as she rambled on about how filthy and impure muggles are, how the time was nearing for magical supremacy over their inferior breed.
It made Sally-Anne feel sick.
The usual digging of her nails into her palm was interrupted suddenly by the slam of a book onto a desk and a voice a few seats down from her — Ernie’s voice. Sally-Anne’s heart leapt into her throat as she watched him yell at Alecto and promptly march out of the classroom, leaving the rest of the students in a state of shock. There was a moment where no one did anything, everyone perhaps unsure of how to react… and then Alecto drew her wand and started walking toward the door.
It was a split-second reaction, enacted before Sally-Anne could pause to think about the potential consequences of what she was doing. She stood suddenly from her seat and ran toward the door, blocking the professor from exiting the room.
“No, don’t!” She nearly shouted, heart rate picking up as she stared Alecto in the face. “I mean, please, I — I’ll get him.”
Before Alecto could respond, Sally-Anne had dashed out of the room after Ernie. Her heart was pounding; Ernie was sure to face punishment for what he’d just done, and now it looked as though there was a good chance Sally-Anne would be sharing it as well. They couldn’t go back to the classroom, not with Alecto still purple with rage. She didn’t know about Ernie, but Sally-Anne was not keen to face her.
“What’ve you stopped for?” She asked as she caught up with him, her voice heavy with fear. “If I were you, I’d want to get as much distance as possible, give her some time to calm down.” Sally-Anne paused in front of him, catching her breath for a moment — then she heard the door to the classroom swing open again and she grabbed his arm.
“Run!” She whispered, pulling him further down the corridor.
relief was the first feeling he felt when he turned to see sally-anne behind him. he swallowed, his heart that had been pounding in his chest ears and throat immediately became less violent though not any less present at the sight of his housemate. the second thought though was a second wave of panic on top of his current, an oh fuck- what are you doing here? left unsaid, they didn’t have time for it. because she was grabbing his arm and they were running, well at least one of them had some survival instincts.
hearing the door to the classroom made that violent heartbeat return, it started to burn the more they ran but the fact that they heard the door to the classroom meant they had to keep running. the fact that they could hear it meant ernie hadn’t gotten as far away as he’d thought he did.
he usually had quite a good spacial awareness, his dislike for being touched or bumped helped nurture this, plus years of patrolling gave him a familiarity with the halls that he felt was unique to him (and the other prefects he supposed,) but right now he was lost. the stone walls blending and blurring together, what corridor were they on? what floor? he felt as though he was going to be sick, coming down from the auto-pilot he’d been on.
pulling her around the corner he backed himself up against the wall his eyes squeezing shut trying to push down the nausea. he felt the familiar tightness of panic his chest and throat and he willed that away too, taking a deep breath through his nose, “that was stupid of me,” he said taking another deep breath before adding, “but fuck that.”
he knew his mother didn’t mean much when she called him that. besides, he had more important things to focus on at the time, like finding the best trees to climb or find the perfect stones to collect and throw into the river, the ones that made the best splashes. or perhaps finding a patch of wildflowers, maybe he would collect some for mother again.
the last time he brought flowers home, carefully pulling them from the ground at the root, he figured it wouldn’t hurt them as much that way. he put together a suitable bouquet, pocketing a few treasures, some smooth stones, a feather and some acorns he found, and then made the trek back home.
he presented his gift to his mother, who took them and turned up her nose. “we already have flowers dear, besides these are dirty.” she said her nose wrinkling at the dirty roots. she discarded them onto the kitchen counter before she returned to fuss over ernie’s clothes and hair, messy from his adventures.
however, she hadn’t thrown the flowers away. the next day he remembered seeing a familiar bloom, pinned near her collar. he wasn’t sure how she did that, but his mother could really do just about anything, she was quite clever.
marian macmillan hated messes. she preferred a pristine existence, no mess or muck, no dirt or dust. everything had a place and it was her expectation that things were to be kept together.
it was unfortunate the men in her life paid no attention to that.
“wild child”
-she would chastise her son, not that he was wild in the sense that he was disobedient, he rarely disobeyed her or her husband, she was quite proud of that fact. no, her ernest was wild because the minute he didn’t need her to carry him anymore, when he could walk on his own he was running. as soon as his feet hit the grass they would fly, carrying him deep into nature, into the glens that surrounded them, shoes be damned. this was the problem.
she’d only purchased the best clothes for her ernest, tidy button-ups and smart trousers, with proper shiny shoes. she’d initially hoped that he would share her refined taste, and the instinct that clothes like these weren’t to be mucked up. instead, he would roll up his trousers, pull up his socks and take off out the door.
“wild child” she would call after him, but he couldn’t hear her or ignored it, his feet taking him more important places.
today was a busy day, running through the grass before throwing stones into the river, before slipping his shoes off and wading into the river, reaching at the fish and tadpoles. he never could catch them but he didn’t mind. animals weren’t to be taken back home, not like his other treasures, and speaking of-
a bright red object caught his eye from the trees, a kite, how on earth did it get here? were there other people here? this part of the glen was too far from the village for any of their children to make there way over. he’d always played alone. still, a kite was very interesting, further investigations were necessary.
he jumped from the river, slipping his still wet feet into his dress shoes, pocketing his socks into his pants before taking off towards the trees.
it didn’t seem that high, not higher then he was comfortable climbing but his hands were still wet. he thought for a moment, perhaps if he were more clever like mother, he could make the kite come down. he didn’t quite understand the way his mother made things happen, magic my dear, everyone in our family can, she would tell him but that was the most of any explanation he got.
he took a deep breath, and stared at the kite, trying to will it out of the tree and into his hands. for a moment he could have sworn he saw the tail, that was tangled around a branch, wiggle, but it could have been a trick of the eyes. he sighed, climbing it was.
he quickly made his way up, he wasn’t a terrible climber, better when he was barefoot but his feet were still wet, but his shoes had practically no grip.
he was quite close now, the treasure so close, he reached out for the kite, it practically in his grasp when he lost grip with one of his feet, and then both and he couldn’t hold on with just one arm and gravity pulled him to the ground.
he didn’t cry. he was proud of himself for that but there was blood, his knees looking dismal and when he blinked there was a sharp stinging at the side of his forehead, dabbing the spot with the back of his hand came back red, he was careful not to wipe it though on any of his clothes.
he slowly made his way back to the house, his knees wobbly and head aching. by the time he got home his mother opening the door to see her son, as he was sniffing back some tears.
marian quickly ushered him inside, helping him wash up, tending to his knees and forehead before wrapping them. she wrinkled her nose at the state of his clothes when dermid macmillan came home.
“do you see the state your son is in?” she demanded at him as she meddled with the bandage around ernie’s head, “what are you going to do about this dermid?” she asked him.
dermid as he usually was, was silent. giving his son only a glance before continuing on into the house, his boots tracking dirt as he went which marian made a noise at.
“dermid! boots off in the house!” she called after him, sighing as he paid no mind before returning to cleaning ernie up.
she tucked him into bed that night, banning trips to the glen for the rest of the week to ernie’s disappointment. he had trouble falling asleep that night, thinking of the red kite. where it came from, if it would still be there when he got back or perhaps whoever it belonged too would come to collect it while he was gone, and he never would meet them.
when he awoke he was groggy, he hadn’t slept well. on his bedside table his mother left some medicine for his head and a glass of water, a small handwritten note with it like she did anything she left behind, no glen today, in her loopy handwriting. he glanced over to his desk, where he saw a pair of boots sitting on top.
he slipped out of bed to examine the boots. they looked just his size, a good sturdy pair of work boots with good grip on the bottom. he scanned the desk but there was an absence of a note from his mother. it puzzled him for a moment, but then he smiled. he would have to convince his mother to let him back into the glen before the end of the week.
mandy lifted her drink to her lips, her eyes settling on him over the rim of her glass. standing together, they must’ve looked different than they did ten years ago – physically worn out wasn’t the right way to define it, not when their friendship felt too nostalgic lately, but there was a sense of exhaustion lingering around them. mandy, who bit her tongue around ernie every time news circulated around hogwarts about dumbledore’s army doing this and that, suddenly felt a deep longing for a past they would never have again – but the little girl in her who always longed for a brother had to try.
“relaxing?” she repeated incredulously, squinting her eyes at him. “and here i was thinking you’d be a wild drunk, like the risk-taker type.” her hip resting against the table as she faced him, she mulled her own words over in her head. “speaking of taking risks, i have to ask about your extra-curricular activities. for the sake of being polite, because nice is all i am, aren’t i, ernie?” mandy gently pinched his arm, because they both knew she wasn’t always the nicest. “and i’m not talking about slughorn’s prissy club.”
he felt comfortable around mandy, no amount of time or dedication to certain extracurricular’s would change that, but it didn’t change the fact that there had been tension between them lately. while he had been more cautious about his involvement with the DA, mandy had an interesting ability to somehow know everything that was going on in his life. in the past she also had no problem letting him know what she thought about the DA, but then again she never had any problem letting him know what she thought about anything, it was one of the things he liked most about her.
he bit his lip when she brought it up though, "i take it you’re not referring to ancient runes club either then?” momentarily deferring the question. his mouth felt dry for a moment and he took another sip from his cup, overly aware of his movements but still struggling to lift the cup to his lips. giving up after a moment, “what about it,” he asked, for some reason feeling like he couldn’t say its name aloud like it was some disease or a certain dark wizard, especially wary of the fact that they were in the slytherin common room, surrounded by too many eyes and ears, and maybe this wasn’t the place to be talking about it but his hazy mind forgot that thought as quickly as he thought of it.
when: evening, november 10th
where: muggle studies, (NEWT)
who: open
he had done a good job at not losing his shit yet.
hannah and him tuned into potterwatch the day before, their hearts pounding with anticipation because perhaps today would be the day, today justin would find some way to let them know he was okay, that he was safe. unfortunately, the missing part of their trio was anything but.
he’d been numb since the broadcast. he didn’t sleep. he’d gone through his day like a zombie, not speaking or acknowledging anyone. his mind spinning on repeat, justin justin justin, or, azkaban azkaban azkaban. and while he started his morning numb and zoned out, by muggle studies though he was stewing in his seat, fidgeting, just unable to keep still.
at first he’d been tuning out the lesson, the class was more or less a joke now with alecto leading it. though at a certain point and he wasn’t sure when he had started paying attention and it just made him angry, listening to her go on and on sputtering complete shit about muggles going on and on about how they were dirty, lower then them, spewing on with her hateful lesson until ernie was shaking with anger, and before he knew it he was slamming his textbook against his desk, an action that shocked not only his peers and professor, but for a brief moment himself as well, but his anger over-powered his shock at his own actions.
“this is bullshit,” he said. stunned the stand-in professor asked him to repeat himself, her voice warning him not to do so, giving him a look that would have normally sunk him down into his seat. not today though. not after justin, not after three months of sitting through this class. not after neville and micheal and all of the other victims to the carrows torture and torment.
“it’s bullshit” he yelled at her across the classroom before standing up and marching himself out into the corridors. his heart pounding in his chest, not realizing his march had turned into practically a run, his mind catching up to what he had just done and oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. he continued to move, needing to find hannah, needing to get out of here, panicking when he heard the sound of steps behind him in the corridor and freezing, slowly turning to see who it was following him, knowing he was potentially in some deep shit.
She wasn’t sure what it was, but something told Sally-Anne that she could trust Ernie. There was a certain tendency in her to trust people far too easily — by now, she was quite self-aware about this — but it felt like he really was trustworthy. Sally-Anne knew what she was about to ask him was rather dangerous, however, so she leaned slightly closer to him and lowered her voice so as to best avoid being overheard. It was far past time she talked to someone about this.
“Have you ever thought about joining Dumbledore’s Army?” She asked after a moment, biting her lip slightly. “Sorry if that’s not something you want to answer, I totally get it, I’m just… I’ve been thinking about it so much lately, after everything that happened with Michael it seems more and more like the right thing to do. I hate just sitting around, you know? Being useless and doing nothing about all the awful madness that’s going on. It’s so terrifying, though, thinking about what might happen if I did join — I don’t want to end up like Michael, and there’s also the chance it could come back to bite my family if people at the ministry ever found out… there are just so many terrible things that could happen, but the terrible things already happening are just as bad, too. Merlin, I’ve probably said too much, I’m — sorry. Maybe I’m not even making sense.”
he felt his mouth go dry at her question. while he hadn’t had any hesitations in showing his loyalty to dumbledore’s army in fifth year, when it first started, but aside from the walkout, he had kept mostly quiet about the extra-curricular this time around. not that he believed any less in the principles, but he felt he didn’t have room to be reckless. the stakes were higher now, there was more to worry about then simply not getting a fulfilling education, then a stupid woman and her cats (though to this day he did harbour a strong dislike for the woman). there were things to lose.
he shifted, aware that he had to be careful with his answer though in his heart he knew the other hufflepuff would never judge him for being associated with the DA, or at least she wouldn’t turn on him. “no i understand,” he reassured her before taking a moment to choose his words. “i think that it’s brave of you,” he decided on, “you’re right there are a lot of risks, and you have your family to think about,” he said, for a moment his mind going to his own family, he wondered what kind of words (or lack of) his parents would have for his actions this year, “but you’re also right, terrible things are happening, right now, and a certain point i guess, you figure if there’s something you can do, then why not do it?” he said before shifting again, “that probably sounds like a load of dragon bogie, sorry i just mean at a certain point there won’t be anything left to fight for you know?”
pixelskylines
jbbartram-illu
titsay
yousharknotpass
germansingergirl
areudirty
dededos
