The Fruit Stand

Just a collection of jokes, puns, geeky things, cute stuff, animals, gay nonsense, etc. Enjoy~

[vetchtibbles]

my silly little jester costume for the play I’m in is so fire you all wish you were me

[vetchtibbles]

no one has ever jingle jangled like I’m jingle jangling now

[vetchtibbles]

post cancelled they de-belled my costume for sound design reasons

[teaboot]

Neutered

[soap-is-an-artist]

[look-something-shiny-redux]

[peachnix]

it sucks being an American because people from other countries will make fun of you for liking burger and you will try to be like NO! I EAT OTHER FOOD TOO! but you can't get the words out because you're too busy salivating over the idea of burger

[edraculation]

[doubleca5t]

Every time someone says "we need a new political party in America to represent all the people in the center!" I am reminded of the Dutch Centre Party aka the owners of one of the funniest opening lines of a wiki article:

[doubleca5t]

Their slogan makes it even better

[eggdrawsthings]

Another commission for @azuma-space 🧡

[helenvaughans]

📢📢📢

[maimndevour]

[beemovieerotica]

people who are just finding out about internet tracking and data mining in the year 2025 and that your special robot friend does not respect your privacy lol

[theonion]

Catering to a segment of the population chronically underserved by man and God alike, Walgreens unveiled a new line of shrink-wrapped sandwiches Tuesday for the doomed, afflicted, and beleaguered to purchase in times when things have gone horribly, horribly wrong. “These inexpensive, tightly shrink-wrapped, alternately soggy or dried-out sandwiches are ideal for those whose lives have taken a sudden and unimaginably tragic turn,” said Walgreens CEO Stefano Pessina, who noted his company’s colorless sandwiches would come in a variety of nearly anonymous dreary flavors such as “turkey with warm iceberg lettuce” and “ham with semi-solid cheese” and that all sandwiches would be packaged with a limp pickle spear, one unlabeled packet of an extremely pale yellow condiment, and a vague sense of futility.

Full Story

[nimadjart]

Scientifically aerodynamic

[ragamuffkinz]

Tamers evolutions 🌟

[evilvillain123456789]

(conspicuous boner in tight shorts wont subside, attempting to shift blame) yo who put this penis in my pants 

[certifiedgrassinspector]

first two

these will be available as stickers soon ^^

[sage-nebula]

I'm watching the only valid version of Lilo & Stitch and I completely forgot they didn't draw a cartoon version of Elvis for this scene. They just used an actual portrait of him. This movie is so great.

[parsnippety]

@elvis-official :)

[elvis-official]

Woah mama they never paid me for that wonderful film

[strangled-mangoes]

you’ll have to take it up with mr sanders

[xantibodyimpmon]

Do you guys like my awesome character analysis

[existennialmemes]

United Healthcare getting sued by its investors, because it didn't warn them that the CEO getting murdered (by the tendrils of their unmitigated greed) was going to lead to them approving more claims (for covered services that they had no right to deny) is a cartoonish example of exactly why their CEO got murdered.

Their argument is essentially "You promised us a specific profit margin that is not possible to achieve under this increased public scrutiny of your unethical practices. We only agreed to invest because of those unethical practices. So we demand compensation because you didn't warn us that you'd be behaving more ethically"

And idk. Satire isn't just dead. We've pissed on its corpse and now it's dissolving in lye.

[bunnycuriosity]

but you see, bunnies own the moon collectively

[bunnycuriosity]

what the fuck happens in final fantasy