Juan @escapinginreality - Tumblr Blog

Nakakapagod, nakakatamad, nakakainis, at higit sa lahat nakakaiyak. When you are longing for someone, when you wanted them so much but they can’t give it. It is too much hard to be in love with someone you don’t know if he is really willing to be with you.

Why do we always give everything when we love? Is it because we are afraid that they will leave us when we will not give ourselves to them? Why do we risk too much? Why do we forgot to leave something for ourselves too? I’m on my stage of asking myself once again, is this right? I’m actually fucked up. Gusto kong huwag maparamdam sa mga tao sa Pinas.

No words came out of my mouth when my sister called me. Living far away from them is hard pero mas mahirap na umiyak yung ate ko dahil she feels bad that she can’t help me. Nagwoworry siya kasi paano raw ako kakain, wala raw ako sahod, worst nakalockdown dito dahil sa Covid. Hay

You called me outside to talk about what happened. Here I am thinking about it. Its 1 am already.

Honestly, I can’t control my feelings or my emotions anymore. Sometimes I breakdown while walking, going on the restroom. Because I don’t know whom I say what I feel. Its true that you will come to your quarter life crisis. I was not talking to you because I don’t know if you will understand me or I should still share to you. I want to tell you everything, but sometimes I feel you don’t care at me at all. You said to trust you, but how?

You said, that I mean so much to you. That I know that. But I don’t know. Hayyy or its the other way around?

You tell me, to message or call you when I felt bad. But you are always busy. How?

Living here in Kuwait is kinda hard, being away from your family is a challenge to me because its like I am trying to be independent, trying to do things on my own to learn because I know I will not stay with my family for long time. I will have my own family, travel and earn on my own. The first time I did was working in Manila (I’m from Bicol) I work there for 2 years. It is really my dream to be a teacher but maybe its not yet my time to pass the board exam. I tried twice in taking the LET examination to be honest. I was so devasted that time, I am the only who didn’t pass the exam with my friends. It is always been my dream to work abroad because I know you will get higher salary than in the Philippines, and yep I am here now with the help of my co-worker in the my former job. You know how hard it is here? Talking to different nationality, especially locals which is the kuwaitis who most of them know only speaking their own language plus the egyptians. I have to know how to speak arabic, I need to learn and that is my challenge to myself. Most of the time, I feel like giving up and go home in my own country, no one knows I am not eating anymore.

Fuck you. I shouldn't trusted you.

pglang

fast replies are so attractive like damn i got your attention like that

poemswords

No words coming out of my mouth, so do my head. I want to shut off the people who hurt me

thegoodvybe

Should I get my hanky that i gave to him?

dakilanggerlpren

When I was a little kid I thought life would be easier as an adult. At which point we’re old enough to figure things out and perhaps we could stop pretending. But the year is almost half over and most pf us is sad or getting sadder as the days and months go by.

𝒅.𝒓.𝒏 (via dakilanggerlpren)

I hate you

Putting an X to your photo means, I want to remove you in my life. Its hard but as time goes by I am realizing my worth now. What is my problem to you? 1. You are showing me different now. 2. You are treating me like you didn't like me. 3. I feel like you just want my body then when you got it, you dump me. 4. I hate you. I hate you. 5. I HATE YOU.

Can I hate you?

I don't want this feeling. I will always be irritated now

dakilanggerlpren

I pray that your thoughts are not making you suffer at night like what mine is doing to me.

𝒅.𝒓.𝒏 (via dakilanggerlpren)

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Juan