escapist

We, humans, are obsessed with escapism - through movies, books, music, art, and daydreams. Our souls really weren't made for this world.

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My thoughts are so loud that even the songs I’m listening to at full volume now feel like background music.

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What's going on in your mind?

Me:

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Everyone's obsessed with enemies to lovers (and fair, they're great), but you know what trope really owns my whole heart? When a character finds it hard to sleep—restless nights, insomnia, nightmares, and racing thoughts and then one night, they fall asleep next to the person they love for the first time, and they just sleep. Peacefully. Like their body finally believes they’re safe. No dialogue, no big declarations. Just quiet breathing and the softest kind of trust.

That’s peak romance. Nothing will ever top that for me.

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I’ve spent so many nights wide awake, sometimes hating it, sometimes feeling weirdly at peace with it. I’ve grown used to being alone in those quiet hours, while everyone else sleeps. It used to frustrate me lying there, unable to sleep, but over time, it became my normal. My comfort, even.

There’s a kind of darkness that creeps in during those hours, and somehow, I found a strange sense of safety in it. As much as I sometimes wish I could escape it, running away from that feeling leaves me empty like I’m missing something familiar. Something that, for better or worse, became a part of me.

This part of the song "Wake Me" by Bleachers, my sister dedicated it to me. I love it.

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An entry from June 2021.

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A month back I went to Rajghat. There’s a lake there and it’s my favorite spot. Well Rajghat is among my favorite places in Delhi not because it's a memorial but because apart from the main memorial area (I don't like that haha) it’s a huge open space that's ideal for a peaceful escape from the bustling city life. It’s really pretty and people often come there to run, walk, or jog in the mornings and evenings.

There's a lake in Rajghat that has many ducks and geese. I love watching them closely. This time I got to see some goslings too and they were really adorable little yellow furry ones. I literally felt like stealing them and running back home as fast as I could haha. They were following the adults around,swimming a little with them, then coming out to eat grass. I noticed how the adult geese were always protecting them never leaving their sides. It was absolutely adorable to watch.

I sat under a tree near the lake to read. The wind was blowing perfectly and there were a lot of crows cawing loudly. The tree was just by the water's edge, and it was around 4 PM and i could see the reflections of trees on the water. The sunlight was falling on the lake and reflecting back into my eyes but the water was shining beautifully. I read for a while and then got lost in observing everything around me. I didn’t even realize it was already 6 PM.

Later I took a walk around. There were so many fallen leaves lying like a thick, colorful blanket. I walked over them just to hear the crunch of dry leaves beneath my feet, it was such a wholesome moment. Walking further I saw trees in different shades of green, yellow, and pink. I was talking with my sister about how beautiful trees are, whether they have leaves or not.

I came across some palash trees with vibrant orange and pinkish flowers. The ground under them was covered in a carpet of fallen flowers, looking like an orange and pink blanket. There were many parrots on the palash trees too. Towards the end of the walk, I saw a dog sitting peacefully under the shade of a tree.