FloatingThroughInffinity

Catgirl Floret (it/she) I blog about kink, No Minors Disabled Transfem with dependency issues watch tumblr try to wrap text properly on mobile

[esfera-nyah]

there are a bunch of trot groups that set up outside / inside my uni and i think it's really twisted how i can actually see their mind flick as they see a disabled transfem and immediately realise i cannot get away, then come over to give me some flyer about something, ignoring everyone else because they are less easy targets

i just think that's a little ableist tbh

[lova3d]

hdg meme I made

[glitchyrobo]

A cathartic cotyledon collage for disability pride month (just in the nick of time >_>)

Higher resolution version in case tumblr eats my pixels

Most of the graphics are 3d models and or shaders I made and rendered in blender 2.93, composited together using krita 5.3

I made this piece in part to work through my feelings about a particular traumatic experience I had during one of the many times I was in a hospital as a child, my trauma in general, and my yearning for a kinder world

I'm being a bit experimental with this piece so I hope yall like it =)

Remember to be kind to each other and keep lonely disabled girls in your heart 💜

(if you're a lonely disabled girl, please be kind to yourself. We all deserve kindness)

[esfera-nyah]

feralist? "'fera list"? but there's only one me, right?

im cackling

[esfera-nyah]

stole this from my friend on discord :p don't know if it's been done before

[puppybouquet]

Soapbox from a Nobody About Disability

**CW descriptions of disability and personal experience. kinda nsfw in a general way.**

firstly these are my own opinions and overall just getting thoughts out. I'm a nobody, a small writer and reader of HDG, been around for a good second. but my words mean dust all for anything. hell after finishing it just felt more like a rant.

I don't even think this may be the best idea to post so we'll see if I even do(I'm going to. though it's sensitive topic for me.) I've just been rubbed wrong for a bit now and I want to write something in response to NOBODY in particular. don't take this personal.

this is in regards to the GlitchyRobo post(and response to it) where she states all florets wear diapers, and clarifies with implant recovery and how high they get. then in a response post explains more in detail the meaning she had behind it.

personally the # underneath is tongue in cheek shitposting, for those that are giving her shit.

and the post itself is a shitpost. that people are reading into too much. Little Sprout content is a little over 7% of all AO3 HDG fics (190/2579) so obviously not a requirement for the setting.

and I also think it's firing a few shots in the neighborhood to keep rent down. to keep the space safe for those who have been living here.

she's also adding personal opinions. yes she wrote the og fic and the Little Sprout one. but there's a reason there are Clerks, Lorets, and Community Gardeners. it's grown outside of herself and she's not the end all be all of "canon." if you don't like it or anything, filter by tags and don't read it or don't include it in your writing.

the thing that has bothered me the most. fundamentally HDG is about and revolves around disability. having your autonomy taken away. not being able to do what you once did. having someone care for you even if you don't want it. all cause you can't function "normally" in society, are a danger to yourself or others, or cannot take care of yourself. wardships and domestication and owners are absolutely just anagrams for conservatorships and institutionalization and parents/caregivers. except this time around it's by someone who truly cares and treats you with (some form of) respect and does stuff you need or want. that it all works out, the big scary monster was a friend all along. happy ending.

disability is not pretty. you sometimes have to be drugged up. I am and it does make the pain better but I also feel stigmatized and not completely here throughout the day. it's nice until it's not, and it doesn't solve all pain. sometimes you have surgeries you don't want to make your life better, and it sucks. which many either have you recovering using a catheter or diaper, it's normal medical stuff in that sense. it all becomes scary even if you take control of some aspect by enjoying it or learning to enjoy it. diapers, yeah sometimes they are needed. whoop de do. yeah there's sensation issues people have, and no it doesn't always feel good even if it's your thing. cause while I have it as a coping method and like it for little space. I don't enjoy waking up from a nap and immediately having to shower. (plus medical diapers for the most part suck and don't feel good and leak). it is humiliating(bad) in many circumstances. you have to ultimately plan around it. sometimes you can't care for yourself, whether being bed bound or having projects around you can't finish cause the pain and fatigue and your bodies inability to do things drains your ability to do it before you even get up. making food becomes a chore you end up skipping. brushing your teeth is something you forget a lot. things fall to the wayside. hanging with people becomes a quarterly thing. leaving your house is a special event. people around you get tired of helping, caregiver burnout. friends stop inviting you. family thinks you're just lazy. sex isn't fun, it hurts, and it hurts me mentally that I cannot. it's something I have to emotionally and physically prepare for. and it in turn falls into place like everything else. the depression, the anxiety, not to mention the neurodivergence. on and on and on and on. it sucks. disability makes you feel like a failure due to you being a failure in the eyes of capitalism. even the systems in place punish you to live on almost nothing for the crime of not being able to generate capital. you don't get support beyond a few happy words of encouragement and 1000 different orgs you might be able to get some help from.

but now it's framed with the Affini. all loving plants who want to care for you. who actually want you around. who likely won't have burn out. who will take care of the things it's hard for you to do. who love you unconditionally. who do the hard things. who organize hangouts with your friends. who brings you places. who keep you feeling nice and drugged in a fun way. who keep you in good health. on and on. it is a fantasy that someone takes care of someone who cannot for themselves. not to mention the parallels of the 70% independent sophonts to 30% domesticated sophonts being the statistic for those who deal with one form of disability or another (undercounted)

it's what I enjoy. it's a fanfic of being able to exist happily given despite everything that's happened. don't get me wrong I enjoy fics that are more surface level fun and happy go lucky. there's nothing wrong with that. but the underlying piece of care being given to a disabled person is there. in so many fics, and in the fandom as a whole.

a lot of the big writers have disabilities of their own, I've talked to quite a few in my time. it's nothing new around here.

also dirt to those moralizing this issue. there's nothing wrong with any of it.

that's all I have to put I guess. I'm. kinda tired for writing this all out. sorry I guess. and thanks if you read this far.

posting this here at request of a cool sophont.

[esfera-nyah]

thank you again so much for this ^^

[esfera-nyah]

Agere is not a kink. Please use your own (ageplay/abdl/fauxcest) tags instead of exposing a massive community of vulnerable individuals (many of which are bodily children and or healing from sexual trauma) to it instead. Thanks! /tc /srs

hi! i do actually experience voluntary/involuntary age regression as well (which is part of what i was talking about to my psychiatrist, shockingly) <3 thanks for implying i don't have trauma / am taking advantage of or hurting 'real age regressors' i call the caretaker / mother daughter dynamic kink because it's a dynamic and as i am acespec i don't think non-sexual kink is invalid like you seem to <3

so yeah, i can regress and have a kink dynamic with my caretaker at the same time, thanks ^^ agere is relevant to the post and to my experience, so i'll tag it as such <3 you can always stick to the sfw agere tag, i think it's made for people like you /gen

[esfera-nyah]

My gf came with me to therapy today and my (cishet white, uninformed of kink) psychiatrist said our relationship was like

Mother and daughter

... and i giggled. i fear i may not be beating the allegations

[esfera-nyah]

what happened to my acekink setting man

atleast the poster is asking it as a genuine question rather than an accusation, but like, it shows how bad the interpretation of the setting is

i know to an extent this has always been a problem, since i've seen posts stating hdg to be rape kink or sex abuse fantasy since pretty much as soon as it moved off ROM, (though there were probably some made before that as well that i simply didn't catch), it just makes me depressed, because there are statistically (and judging by some fics i've read...) those who see a post calling the setting rape kink and then decide to write a fic, with that as their understanding of the setting

not tagging this one because this is more of a ventpost abt my own feelings on a thing i like rather than an attempt at starting conversation

[bedofvinesandroses]

Floret trying to set up an old TV and box set, getting frustruated with all the cords. Rolling around and throwing a tantrum until she gets tangled in the cords then falls asleep, because it reminded her of their owners vines

[agonizedspacetrooper]

I know I say it a lot but this war is so fucking stupid. Half of my orders are like “hey we need you guys to terminate this enemy organism” and this is the organism in question:

LIKE NO DUDE IM NOT BAYONET CHARGING THAT FUCKING THING! ITS GONNA KICK MY ASS SO HARD IM NOT EVEN GONNA BE THE SAME SPECIES WHEN ITS DONE WITH ME!

Im gonna have like a key sticking out of my back or have dog ears or be a robot or some bullshit like that. This literally always happens to our troops, I swear to god my superiors are allergic to learning. I just hope they’re dumb enough to never check that the “confirmed kills” I send them are all pictures of random plants that I found.

[esfera-nyah]

Disclaimer: I have not taken my ADHD meds in a while

Today I am here to say the subreddit genuinely needs to be abolished. Nobody there seems to have read a single fic that was made greater than a year ago and the shared understanding of the setting is so warped and representative of the degradation of the disability and acekink themes of the setting it pains me to look at!!

I have genuinely repeatedly seen people asking who glitchy is with agreement/support, like the fandom tag on ao3 doesn't have her username on the end of it!?

People consistently say things that aren't true about the setting and it infuriates me that this is probably the first impression many have of HDG.

Things are regularly being posted that ignore every single facet of HDG to make it another 'humanity wins!' story! There's no disability in it any more! There's no noncon! There are constant requests that boil down to 'can you recommend more stories where the Affini don't act like the Affini' and it's driving me up a wall!

This thing is so ass!! I saw a bingo for HDG fics a while ago where the first fucking square was 'Affini fucks floret' like it's an integral component of a fic, not to mention the rest of the squares!! Where is my acekink setting? Where is my disability allegory? I am going insane! I am forced to assume the average user of the reddit has read a negative number of words in the setting (or exclusively newer hetslop fics)!!!!

[aesungaia]

Everyone's Friend

[a-blessing-of-ravens]

HDG has ruined us, we can't even look at trees now without wondering what it would be like to be cradled in the vines of a giant plant woman

[esfera-nyah]

don't even get me started on what botanical gardens are like... last time i went there was one plant with a long, thorned-looking leaf and i was trying not to drool imagining it as a plommy's whip

[boringkate]

You can tell a girl is really cool and tough and badass if she's hugging a stuffed animal. Only the most really badass babes hug stuffed animals.

[esfera-nyah]

sometimes i wish i was blind so i wouldn't have to deal with how... everything everything is... the sun is always so bright, depth perception hurts my head and overstimulates me... it just feels nicer to close my eyes... i wish it didn't take energy and mental effort to close my eyes... though i know if i were blind i would quickly become much more reliant on my other senses and they would probably overwhelm me as much as my eyes do now... i wish everything wasn't So Much all the time... i just want to be held in some nice vines and where the only light is my Affini's core... nothing else to think about or focus on

[floretbutch]

when it comes to florets who have like. mobility aids or medical devices would the Affini straight up cure their disabilities or would they allow their florets to continue to use said aids just with a bit of extra help to make their conditions manageable? For example, I use a CPAP for sleep apnea and have a cane for h-EDS on bad balance/knee & hip joint days. As cool as it would be to magically zap my issues gone I feel like. oddly comforted by having them, knowing that my disabilities are real and they arent just "in my head" like many people in my life have told me and are apart of my whole existance/identity. its kinda hard to see myself NOT being disabled tbh but I'm sure the Affini would understand that, right?