second star to the left,

marlene mckinnon | 23 years of age | order of the phoenix not yours to save.

[ehhdgarbones]

Black Mirror | E&M

@estrela–marlene

Emmeline was worried. Fuck. Everyone was worried. Ever since the atomic bomb level explosion that was Marlene and Scarlett’s breakup, the brunette of the pairing had done an emotional shut down. Lights were on. No one was home. He knew because he’d seen that look before every time he caught his reflection after his parents were murdered. 

The girl wasn’t in self destruct mode. Worse. She’d skipped right over that step and into “whatever it takes to feel something again” mode. For now that meant disappearing at night for hours on end, holing up in her room the rest of the time, and showing up covered in bruises when she finally emerged out of absolute necessity. Fighting was bad, but if someone didn’t do something soon it had the potential to get so much worse. Merlin’s beard. It was like looking into a mirror.

Roaring rebounded off of the brick, amplifying the cheering to a deafening decibel. Fists punched the air. The crowd shoved as they shouted, pushing each other in an almost tidal ebb and flow as they tried to catch the ongoings of the match below. Edgar joined the shoving elbows and body checks, clearing a path for himself by force as he fought his way to the front of the assemblage. 

How many times had he been here before? Hundreds. So many hundreds. The fighting pits were where he’d spent most of his nights in those years following the murder of the Bones primogenitors. Until Rosy had saved him from himself and filled his nights with hard work instead. 

It was sacred space, that fifteen by ten expanse of sand; six feet deep of inescapable symbolism. To Edgar, all those years ago –and even now– those blood soaked sands had been his spiritual absolvent. The injuries sustained, the blood lost, it’d felt like purging his soul, bleeding a festering wound of the poison trying to kill him from the inside. Most people found that with God, meditation, self reflection. He’d only ever found amnesty at the end of a pair of dirt and blood stained wrapping covered fists. 

Teaching Marlene to fight, to hold her own in physical combat, hadn’t been a mistake. She’d needed to learn to hone herself into a weapon, how to take down her opponent without magic in case anything ever happened to her wand. Edgar wouldn’t apologize for that, and he sure as shite wouldn’t apologize for how thoroughly he’d taught her. Marls was a quick study, and her anger needed an outlet. What was healthy for everyone didn’t apply to personalities like theirs. He’d shown her how to deal, and was proud of how good she’d gotten at it. 

What he was sorry for, however, was taking her to these underground catacombs where fighting for sport was the main event. He’d dominated the fight scene down here for a long time, had made a name for himself doing it too. Against better judgement –not his own since Edgar couldn’t claim to owning any amount of good judgement– he’d brought Marlene down here and encouraged her to jump into The Pit. 

He was close by, keeping an eye on her, making sure she was safe. It was like sparring back at HQ. More intense, sometimes life threatening sparring. Not a big deal. Nothing to worry about. Except for the fact that she’d started coming down here without him or any intention of winning her fights. The girl was using the fighting ring to punish herself. Had to be. Nothing else explained the behavior that had everyone so fucking worried. 

Bodies parted and a path was made as Edgar shoved the rest of the way to the front. He elbowed someone back and out of his way, stepping up on the arena’s edge. Peering over the drop he saw the scene below. A brown haired girl, face covered in blood, pinned to the wall with a man nearly twice her weight walloping at her defences and getting in as many shots as he could while he had her cornered. Recognition made his heart trip clumsily over his ribs.

Edgar’s eyes narrowed. His jaw clenched. Zeroing in on the girl pinned to the metaphorical ropes, he grumbled, “Marls,” before he did what he had to do.

[estrela--marlene-blog]

The defeaning roars permeated the situation at hand, each word of encouragement growing louder in the pit. Usually she’d blurred them out, drowned out the sound with a focus so strong that she was deadly. She could hear all of it now, understand everything in this moment, the sounds of annoyance at a fallen warrior, the anger that they felt towards her. It was well deserved, every lashing and every hit seemed to taste sweeter, seemed to pummel her so much that she could feel the pain- that she could feel something.

She shouldn’t have been surprised.

Her opponent was well known during the rounds, twice her size and with a brain small enough that she knew exactly which buttons needed to be pushed; knew exactly what she needed to do to irate the man enough to cause more destruction. None of it was necessary- there was another sort of torture just locking herself in, pretending the world around her didn’t insist, but here? Now? The pain was deserved, the beating the type that she’d wished upon herself.

The brunette’s back slammed against the cage, loud rattling encompassing the space around her as she did. She barely made an attempt to hide from the hooks that the man was bestowing upon her, blood stained and plump lips twisting into a smirk as she moved her hands up, brushing the hair that was slick with blood and sweat away from her face. Her laugh was hoarse, her eyes empty as another punch sent her flying back, the fresh cut just above her brow allowing for a new cascade of blood to protrude down her cheek. Her smirk grew more.

  “That all you got, mate?” Her words were strong enough for him to hear, although they were mumbled through the numbness of her lips. She’d ducked under his hit, just once, but the next one had caught her off guard, sending her straight to the ground. Droplets of blood splattered across the rough ground, the girl’s head raising only a little as she’d gasped for breath.

The cataclysmic aftermath of Marlene’s falling out with Scarlett wasn’t as well received as she’d thought. Marlene had assumed that the worst had already come, that the fight itself was the lowest level of anger and disdain that she would feel for herself. Moments came to pass however, and she couldn’t seem to shake it, couldn’t seem to stop staring off into space, stop having no sense of enjoyment in the things that gave her at least a small essence of joy before. Firewhiskey tasted bland, the world seemed dim. There was nothing but emptiness in her heart and in her mind. She was so lucky to have stumbled upon the place one-night, familiar territory but somewhere which she didn’t bother to visit. That fight had been the spark that reignited her- the beating exactly what she needed. Her heart seemed to pummel faster, the pain breaking through what wall of numbness she’d had. The brunette knew that it was a death trap, that with each fight she’d fall deeper and deeper into it. The worst part was that she didn’t seem to have an ounce of regret- if she was beyond help then so be it, at least she’d feel. Besides, it was evident that there was much to learn, and that Marlene, like her relationship with Scarlett, was beyond repair.

Her eyes were almost swollen shut as she was stolen from her thoughts, head tilting back against the ground as her chest heaved. She clung on like a bastard, the barrage of hits trying to put her under but her spirit not allowing it. She braced herself for the darkness, with arms open like it’d been an old friend- she barely heard the sound of the bell as her opponent was pulled off her, her body heaved out of the cage.

She’d pulled herself up, muscles aching with each movement as her eyes moved, hoping to find her opponent there. No- what met her was surprise, the spark of anger deadest on making its way immediately onto her features.

  “That bastard-!”

[vansadecki]

┐(‘～`；)┌

[martyrdoem]

that old north wind | l & m

[estrela--marlene-blog]

@maryxxmacdonald

Mary laid her head back onto her pillow, content to allow Badger to curl up against her neck as his brother took off to explore Marlene. Mary cracked a small smile as Lily freed her jacket from his grip before nodding some. “You’d think they were murderous.” She teased, using her free h and to squeeze Marlene’s to let her know she’d only been kidding.

“How long did Minerva say you have to stay for?” Mary inquired, looking between the girls. She wondered if they’d be stuck here for as long as she was. She hoped not. Mary didn’t want to be responsible for putting them in danger and taking them away from their own lives and responsibilities. “Because I like having you all around, but I don’t want to condemn you to hiding out for Merlin knows how long either. I really doubt Minerva will let me back out into the real world until she’s found whoever’s done this.” She said quietly.

Badger meowed from his perch on her neck as if he could sense her sadness about the entire ordeal. She nuzzled her cheek against his smaller face with a soft hum. Mary was thankful that Marlene had thought to rescue her kittens from her empty home. Merlin forbid they’d have been left alone for a week.

  “They can be.” Marlene prompted, happy to see the familiar linger of the smile present itself onto Mary’s lips. Her lips pressed gently onto her friend’s cheek, hand squeezing back as she’d made herself comfortable, a sigh leaving her lips as she’d moved to wrap her arms around her. “Maybe not to you, I mean, they love you. But me?” She’d tsk’ed, eyes grazing hers, then flickering back to Lily. “And don’t get me started on the bloody cat whisperer over there. I mean, it’s not my fault that I’m not talented with the felines.”

  “Don’t worry about what she said.” Marlene was willing to stay with them, no matter how long it took, so actually knowing about how long they would be in here seemed out of the question. Marlene knew that her work would suffer at it, knew she’d probably be in trouble for not turning up, but a part of her enjoyed knowing that the snobby witches at Twilfitt and Tatting’s would have no choice but to realise how useful she actually was to their store, no matter how much anger would encompass that thought. “It’ll be like Hogwarts again, you know, after Lily’d gone and embarrassed herself, or I got into a fight and was scared I’d be found…”

She wiggled her eyebrows towards the redhead, smirk more prominent.

  “We could probably raid the kitchen.”

@martyrdoem

[halflingrory-deactivated2018111]

Unravel, Unravel || m & m

[estrela--marlene-blog]

@maryxxmacdonald

“All your other lovers should be jealous. Hell, they should be fighting to get to keep you. You’re like a rare treasure, Marlene.” Mary complimented, pressing her head against her friends. “Uh, yeah, you can keep the details for yourself. I don’t think I need a permanent blush etched on my face, thank you very much!” She laughed, patting her cheeks playfully.  Mary had always been quick to blush when it came to sexual things. There was no hiding her embarrassment with the subject.

Mary had thought about sex before. Of course, she was curious, and the fact that all of her friends had done the deed made her even more so. Yet, Mary wanted her first time to mean something. She’d always been a bit of a hopeless romantic. It just wouldn’t do it for her to lose her virginity with someone she didn’t love. She could hold out until she found that special someone. It wasn’t like she didn’t indulge in a good make out session every once in a while.

“Well, excuse me. I’ve never had a sex glow.” Mary said with an eye roll as Marlene jostled her side. “Dor has always looked like sunshine, but you’re right. There is something that’s putting a little more pep in her step. I wonder if it’s someone we know? Do you think that could be why she’s been so ‘hush hush’ about it?” Mary hummed, patting the center of her lips with her index finger.

Mary’s laughter was coaxed out by her friend’s, and soon enough, the  pair of them had been reduced to giggles on the park bench.

“They’re kittens, Marls. They aren’t out to devour your flesh in your sleep.” She said with a soft laugh before reaching out and tapping the other’s cheeks. “Besides, you’re too hard headed for them to knead. They’d lose interest quickly.” Mary teased.

“I’ll protect you from them. I promise.” The reddish haired girl murmured, pressing her hand over her heart with a dramatic thud. She paused a moment, maintaining a serious air before her lips spread to reveal a mischievous grin.

  “You’re right, they are.” A smirk bolstered onto her lips as her body moved to nudge her friend, laughter leaving her lips. She hadn’t strived to make the girl uncomfortable, no matter how easily the words escaped her lips. Marlene McKinnon was a fairly open person when it came to such subjects, she knew to be warier around her friend about them. “I’m sure some people would find it cute, had that been the case, Mare.”

Her brows raised as she’d smirked, head tilting against hers as laughter filled the air around them once more. The cold chill of the air didn’t seem half as comfortable as before- Marlene had found herself tugging her leather jacket around herself even tighter, rubbing her arms as if it’d help promote more heat.

  “Probably.” Her eyes glanced up towards her friend, lips pressed together in thought. “I think that even if she knew we’d be okay with it that she wouldn’t tell us. You know how Dorcas can be.” The etch which seemed more pronounced on her forehead seemed to show otherwise, a worry which was prevalent when it came to those closest to her. She knew that Dorcas wasn’t a young witchling anymore, but her loving spirit always had the possibility of being a weakness for her. “But there’s definitely a sex glow- and she’s glowing like no other.”

Her eyes rolled playfully at the mention of the kittens, memories coming in flashbacks which showed humorously on her face.

  “Yeah, kittens that have the ability to maim… and are strangely clingy.”

Her arm moved to wrap around her friend, a sigh expelling from her lips.

  “The very thought of it makes me want to get a drink… or five.” Her smirk lingered for a moment, hands pushing back the dark tresses from in front of her eyes. “Grab your things, Mare. Let’s get a drink.”

END.

[luthienne]

and the stars with pure light sweetly overflowing

Guido Cavalcanti, from The Complete Poems (tr. Marc Cirigliano)

[estrela--marlene-blog]

why don’t we | s & m

[estrela--marlene-blog]

@rougishscarlett

Teeth grit at the sound of her name on Marlene’s lips, the pleading, desperate resonance of it. Her eyes squinted and irises sharpened. Scarlett’s glare was indignant. ‘They said’ she kept saying, like it mattered, like it was an excuse. They both knew it wasn’t. They both knew it was bullshit.

When it came to the people that she cared about, Marlene McKinnon didn’t take no for an answer. Rules and consequences be damned, she found a way to be there for her friends and fought tooth and nail for them. Scarlett had seen her do it for Lily and the girls, and even for Sirius and his mates, too. But where was that fire, that fight, when Caradoc needed it. When she needed it. No where to be found, because despite all those tears and the tightness in her voice, Marlene cared only so much.

“Then why didn’t you,” shouted Scarlett when Marlene claimed to have wanted to see Doc every day since his reappearance. She was fuming, more furious in this moment than every second that had proceeded. More furious than she’d ever been ever in her entire life.

With the dark mental space that Caradoc was currently taking up residence, he needed his friends. His family, like McKinnon always claimed herself to be. The man needed to know that he was valued, that nothing had changed that. Nothing could change that. Obviously Scarlett didn’t want a fucking crowd in his bedroom, but she didn’t think that making a fucking appearance was too much to ask for. Especially when she was supposed to be like a sister to him. Did that word even mean anything to her?

Either the brunette was getting quite good at walking out of her family by now, or she and Caradoc had never qualified as such.

Rage a blazing inferno, burning tracks of tears down her cheeks, flickering dangerously behind her eyes, Scarlett seethed, “I’m not the only one…” She paused to give Marlene the opportunity to finish her thought. When she didn’t, her expression darkened with her scowl that took her features, and her nostrils flared with her inhale. The breath fanned an already violently roaring wildfire. “I’m not the only one who what, McKinnon? Cares? Who was worried sick about him? Not the only one who’s hurting? I know that. I’ve seen it in their faces. Remus, Shacklebolt, even the twins have managed to check in on him. But where’ve you been? Hmm? Where the fuck have you been, Marlene?”

Her chin kicked up and her top lip twitched when Marlene made a lame attempt at assuring her that she wasn’t the nuisance she and her friends couldn’t seem to shake, the unwanted hang around that never caught on to how ineffectual and unsavory she was to their inner circle. “You didn’t want me around,” Scarlett sobbed in spite of herself. Her voice broke as the boiling over emotion amassed in her throat and made it impossible to so much as breathe.

Chest heaving, eyes so full of tears all she saw of the brunette was warbled water color, she pressed shaking fingers to her mouth to stifle whatever other sounds were bubbling up out of the pit of her lungs. She shook her head. Screwing her eyes tightly shut, Scarlett tried to force the tears from her eyes so that she could see clearly. The plan backfired. Her tears were falling harder than ever. Compulsively swallowing hard didn’t really help to loosen her throat.

“None of you did. I’ve never been one of you. And this, joining the Order, keeping it from me for years, it was just another way to keep me where I belong; wasn’t it? On the outside. Nothing wrong with having a little fun with the hoodlum, just so long as she doesn’t try to get into your elite club of do-gooders. Right? Glad I could be a good time for you, Marls. Joke’s on me for thinking that it was more than that. That’s on me.”

Livid as she was, Scarlett couldn’t rightfully accuse Marlene of not caring at all. The tears searing paths down the witch’s face were some indication that she cared in some capacity. But she didn’t think she was wrong in saying that she didn’t care enough. She’d seen the lengths that Marlene would go to for those she really and truly cared about. Scarlett couldn’t help but wonder if she would’ve waited days upon days if it was Mary laid up in that bed, or Lily, or Dorcas, or any of the boys.

Her bet was an emphatic and resounding No. If it was any of them Marlene would’ve been at their bedside within the hour.

Just like that the fire burned out, snapping from existence like someone had tried to strike a match in the cold vacuum of space. All the rage, the fury, the emotion, they were gone. Everything was gone. Even the tears. In their wake was hollow nothingness. It wasn’t even numbness, just void. An absence of anything at all. She’d lost Marlene and in the enormous, impossible space her best friend had once occupied in her heart, all that remained was exhaustion.

With a slow, heavy exhale, Scarlett nodded in dispassionate agreement to Marlene leaving. “Yeah,” she stated, cold as winter and just as barren. “You should.” She gave the stranger who had once been her best friend, her sister, a disinterested up and down as she folded her arms in front of her chest and widened her stance, acting as a living barricade between the brunette and the still resting Caradoc Dearborn.

A condescending sneer tugged at her expression when the witch claimed to not wanting to upset her. “A little late for that. Seems to be a reoccurring theme for you, huh, McKinnon?” It wasn’t a real question and she didn’t want an answer. Her chin lifted higher at the mention of Doc, her expression hardening even more. “Don’t pretend to know what’s good for him. You have no right.”

You’re better off without me. If Marlene had said those words to her a week ago –an hour ago– Scarlett would’ve immediately responded with a meaningful, ‘I’m better off dead than without you, Marls.’ Hearing them now only made her blood run that much colder, her heart that much harder, her demeanor that much more standoffish. “Better off without the lies,” she muttered. “Since that’s all you can seem to do, I guess you’re right.”

If her heart were capable of breaking any more than it already was, the shattered pieces would’ve been ground to a fine powder. But the dusty remains had already left with her anger. There was only a sunless Siberian winterscape left behind.

“I’ll see you around, McKinnon.” With her arms still crossed in front of her chest, Scarlett shoulder checked Marlene as she walked past the witch. She still needed to prepare a plate of grub to force feed Caradoc once he was awake. Unfortunately, since she wasn’t going to leave Doc’s side for anything, they were bound to cross paths again. And often. But that didn’t mean that either of them would have to acknowledge the other’s existence. Scarlett sure as hell didn’t plan to. There was nothing left to say between them.

The damage had been done, and there was no fixing it.

She fought the thick film which clouded her eyes. Or at least, she’d tried. Her breath hitched in her chest, struggling to find a means to escape. She could’ve shrivelled up in this moment, could’ve very simply stayed in this corner without moving until somebody found her and forced her to. It was a nightmare really, to watch a person you saw like family disassociate from you right before your eyes, to watch someone’s respect flicker and then dim. It was like her galaxy had been robbed of one more star, and without it she was lost.

 “I don’t know!” She fought for the words to leave her lips, an unkempt explanation of why she hadn’t done what she was meant to. She couldn’t really explain it herself, couldn’t really understand the process that made her think that doing nothing was sufficient, that giving space was the right thing to do. It was unsurprisingly, really, that she had been at this point, that she was the one that screwed everything up. The words rose in her throat like bile, burning whatever space she had left within it. “I thought it was for the best- but it wasn’t. I thought I was doing the right thing- but I wasn’t, right? I was wrong. I made the wrong decision… which doesn’t surprise me- or you either. Cause- it’s what I’m good at, yes? At lying and pretending and walking away.” Her lips pursed slightly, arms crossing over her chest. None of it was meant for the blonde which stood before her; none of the words seemed to have any effect at all. “I’m not sure whyor how I do these things… I just don’t think I’m as good of a person than I think I am. Which is- also unsurprising.”

The laugh that left her lips was bitter and rough, her eyes clouded once more by the pain of her words. Caradoc had always been like a brother to her- or so that was what she’d said. It was unsurprising that Marlene wouldn’t know what to do in such a situation; her home life had been so devoid of love that she wouldn’t have known howto treat a sibling. This situation, however, seemed like common sense- seemed like an easily preventable mistake that she’d blown out of proportion.

  “Don’t say that- don’t say I don’t care about him.” She fought for herself; or at least tried in a way that made sense. Her eyes hollowed, words dry on her lips before she begun. Scarlett listed all of the people who’d made it, people who tried. Each name felt like a shard of glass, each name felt like an embarrassing reminder of her failures. “I’ve been… dealing with things.”

God, what a fucking joke.

She wasn’t the only one- Marlene wasn’t selfish enough to know that. Ever since Caradoc’s attack she’d felt like some hollow shell of a being, and after the situation with Mary nothing felt stable anymore. The world was headed for something cataclysmic, headed towards the sort of unavoidable pain and suffering that she’d ran away from in her nightmares and they were all helpless.

Marlene had hoped that had it happened she’d have those she cared about by her side.

Her own shortcomings had proved otherwise.

Ocean eyes were right, or so it seemed with the resounding burn which pecked at their seams. Her eyes welled up, if only for a moment, the lashings of Scarlett words digging a hole deep enough that Marlene wouldn’t be able to get herself out of it. Her eyes stung in defiance, chest heaving as she tried to contain herself.

The words flowed around her, still thick in the air as her fists balled. For a moment they were, in the next they were gone.

Marlene blinked as she realised she was alone.

Just as she’d always been at the start.

END

[pettigrewwhiskers]

Still A Squeaker || Marlene & Peter

[estrela--marlene-blog]

@pettigrewtail

“I mean, it’s not like I had a merman’s head or mandrake hair.” he said with a small chuckle, “I guess it didn’t help around around all of you guys, the most handsome guys and prettiest girls in our year.” And to his mind that wasn’t an attempt at flattery so much as it was fact in his teenaged mind. “I do feel much better.” he said with small nod, “I feel like people are gonna see me for a change.” It was something he’d been starved of for so long he felt like a desert wanderer coming across an oasis for the first time.

He smiled and nodded his head slightly, “Are you sure? I’m certain there was a whole ‘vanity wine’ where all the prettiest dementors drain the youth out of people.” he joked. Peter hadn’t shown much of his humour back in school but his sarcasm skills were second to few. Shame he’d never had the courage to bite back more. Even now he struggled with it.

“Well, I’ve tried’em once or twice before. Almost all of the Hit-Witches and Wizards seem to smoke like the Hogwarts Express.” He’d tried once or twice and only just got down not coughing when he inhaled. There was no addiction behind it for him so much as it had been an excuse to hang around the a little… looking back they’d probably all known right away. “Yup. This thing is like a renovated cottage, looks pretty stylish now and no one’s blocked off the chimney chute.” he smiled, “So smoke’s all good.”

He borrowed a light of her and inhaled, pausing a moment to force down a cough and managing to put it out as a low growl instead, “It’s good.” And there was the cough; even his voice was a little hoarse. But he was managing, this was a grown up thing and he could pull it off and not look like a fool trying it.

“Oh I have a very specific type.” he told her, nodding swiftly, “One major component: they’re alive.” he deadpanned, “I don’t think I’ve really looked enough to have a type.”

Marlene’s eyes almost rolled her eyes. Beauty was often just a reflection of a person, as strange as it sounded. She’d never seen herself as anything particular, often assumed that fear itself played a strong role in people’s imagery of her. Perhaps being a figure of strength did something to the mind. She’d jostled his side slightly, her playfulness allowing her brows to quirk, the dimple of her right cheek appearing more prominently as she did so.

“That’s the most important thing, I think. Once you see yourself as something else, that’s when things start changing for others. I think they just see how you feel about yourself and start seeing you that way.” The wisdom seemed egged on by the firewhiskey which she’d so easily consumed. “Or at least that’s why I can clear a room pretty quickly.”

In all truthfulness, their times back at Hogwarts seemed a distant dream. Life had moved them all in different directions, and although her contact with Peter was minimal at best, she could say the exact same thing with the rest of her peers. Life didn’t slow down for anyone, no matter what most said. The jarring times seemed to provoke more of a need for that than anything else.

“Oh that’s true. Met one or two in my time. Smoke like no other, very interesting stories. Far more interesting than what new stock of dresses or shoes had just come in from Paris. Oh, the joy of shopkeeping.” She’d bitten down onto her bottom lip at the words, a laugh preventing the disappointed look from crossing her features. “I’m happy for you, Peter. Officially a bad arse. Have you been anointed with the ceremonial leather jacket? I’m sure Sirius hasn’t hesitated in doing so.”

She didn’t pay much mind to his reaction to the cigarette, eyes scanning the bar as she’d glanced over towards him, her attempts at stifling a laugh failing enormously as she’d shaken her head.

“Oh, definitely. Alive and breathing is good.” Her brows raised slightly. “I’m sure you’ll have a nice array of choices now.”

[estrela--marlene-blog]

pastels and prisons | m & x

[estrela--marlene-blog]

@theyrexeno​

Xeno was busying themself with scanning the bookshelves, occasionally plucking one volume or another out of the masses and flipping through it idly, more often than that returning their attention briefly to their plate to portion off a tiny sliver of their tart with the side of their fork. They were there, however, for Marlene, so as she spoke they let their attention move to her. And even if they hadn’t immediately looked over to her, her words as she continued to speak would’ve snatched up their focus entirely. Despite the near-immediate reassurance that what she warned of was nothing serious, Xeno couldn’t seem to stop the well of concern that seemed to spring, as if it had been lying in wait for them to notice it, somewhere in their chest. They let out a hum of acknowledgement, brow furrowing slightly, “I can do that.” They did do that, really. As much as Xeno liked to drape themself across Edgar for sheerly selfish reasons, it was Edgar who’d always been the one who took comfort from contact, Edgar who had taught Xeno to do the same. Cuddling Edgar was a mutual sort of indulgence. “I’ll definitely do that. Thank you for telling me, you should probably get that book.”  

Marlene scooted closer to them, and Xeno, perhaps influenced by the talk of cuddling, and thoughts of comfort through contact, slipped their hand into her free one, squeezing briefly and flashing their friend a smile. “You just have to keep looking.” That was how it worked, after all. The more someone looked, the more they saw. Looking sometimes meant seeing things that had always been just in front of your nose for the first time.

“I’ve never seen one at Twilfitt and Tattings, but they are thieves by trade, so the very good ones generally go unseen just because they’re very skilled, you know. So there’s no telling, really. If you keep an eye out you may spot a slightly sloppy one. There’s plenty of wrackspurts around though- but that’s normal for a place that has lots of humans coming in and out.” Xeno’s smile had faded as they spoke, following their thoughts with intense concentration, but when their thoughts turned to Geraldine it returned again, small and pleased, “Oh, yes, Geraldine might help. I think he’s more likely to ward off wrackspurts than anything, but he could be invaluable with the nargles.”

Xeno liked to think they were drawn to the good people. People who were kind and clever and full of ideas that illuminated entirely new worlds before them, be they intellectual or experiential or just some new layer of humanity that needed a nudge to be unveiled. Xeno didn’t know how they’d had the good luck to end up with so many good people. “Yes. Hard things are just as important as the best and easiest things. And as hard as they seem to us, they seem immeasurably small to the stars.”

Her smile grew slightly at the concern which flicked through their eyes. She could see it in these small moments, could feel the love that the two share unanimously. It filled the room, filled the silent, quiet spaces. It was enough to fill the space between them now. The very thought of it brought some warmth to the brunette, her lips growing into an understanding smile. Edgar had purpose now, she understood it clear as day as she looked upon Xeno. They gave him a reason to strive for each day, allowed him to have some sort of goal that would keep him in one piece. A part of soul ached for that very thing, though the fear that consumed her heart would no doubt make it a difficult task.

  “I think I might.”

It was probably a good idea to get back into it. Such things often evolved in the world and Marlene could feel her knowledge slipping. It was a prerequisite to the life that she’d chosen, the lack of accomplishment which she’d shared. It seemed that in the process she’d lost bits of herself that she didn’t want to forget. She was lucky that the stars didn’t hold any grudges, and still managed to show all of their glory to her each evening, reminding her not to forget. Her eyes glimmered slightly as she traced the spine of the book in an affectionate manner, the warmth brimming her ocean eyes happily, irises swirling.

  “Do you think there’dbe any sloppy ones? I feel like when I’m in that place I can barely keep myself on the task at hand… I’m not sure I’d be able to see the sloppiest one in existence.” Brief laughter fled her lips at the thought. It was probably not the best thing to laugh at, a lack of motivation in a place that she was in almost every day seemed a far more shameful thing than anything else. The witchling bit her lip as she’d watched Xeno go on, enthralled by their words.  “We’ll never know until we try. He might be the secret weapon we’ve been looking for and not even know it. It’s funny how those things tend to appear.”

Xeno’s words always held a strong sense of understanding, an ethereal sense of connection with that stars that Marlene often strived for. Her hand squeezed theirs, thumb rubbing soft circles as her lips grew wider still.

  “At least that’s what we have to tell ourselves. Just in case.”

She’d found her eyes glancing towards an old clock, ticking loudly against the wall. Her eyes lost focus for a moment, a gasp leaving her lips in the next.

   “Oh dear. We’re having too much fun.”

[jasvnvoorhees]

[kieraknightley]

[houseofheda]

Alycia Debnam-Carey + Drinks

[jardindestuileries]

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pour a little whiskey before I head home pour, pour, lovesick child there’s still fire in your belly and your heart’s still wild

[vanciful]

Creature Comforts || Open Starter

[estrela--marlene-blog]

@vanciful

The simultaneous loosening of her heartstrings and quiet exhale of a breath she had no recollection holding, caused the laugh to fall out of Emmeline quite accidentally. It was ragged, and relieved and real. It was absurd, really. To assume that just because Marlene and Sirius were close that they were anything other than friends. It was naive. Her light gaze fell upon the woman before her, and Emmy could feel her mouth soften into a grin.

“I’m glad,” The redhead mumbled as they drifted back towards the rumpled bed, the silence filling the air between them, slightly less thick as it had been in the bathroom. “That you love yourself.” Emmy clarified after a moment, the multiple meaning behind her words dawning on her in waves. She was glad that Marley loved herself, though there was a nagging suspicion that clung to her gut that the brunette was being ironic. But deeper than that, she knew that on some level she was glad that Marlene could so candidly dismiss her relationship to the Black heir.

Emmeline’s work as a healer was very much limited to Marlene and her propensity to get into trouble. Nonetheless she had had a lot of practice, hand gentle but with the firm surety of fingers playing across a familiar musical incident. Marlene’s words pulled her out of her reverie.

Emmeline felt her stomach churn. Of course there had been others. Emmeline’s own approach to relationships was certainly enthusiastic, despite their fleeting nature. Dating was easy, but it was dull work, as men repeatedly took issue with Em’s commitment to speaking her mind. Sex was better, providing they kept talking to a minimum. “The guy clearly hadn’t a clue what he was missing, Marls. I promise, if we tossed on a couple of dresses now, we could go and get you another bartender tonight. Bruised face or not.”

The words felt wrong as they fell from the Gryffindor’s lips. She had never gone out with the younger girls, despite her fondness for Marlene’s friends. Emmeline was their keeper, a confidante, not a dance partner. But it was the truth, nonetheless. Even battered beyond belief and a bit drunk, haired piled onto her head like in an unconcerned heap, Marlene was a vision. The Sam guy, whoever he was, was a fool.

She had to look away as Marlene shed herself of clothes but her shame soon transformed into something else as hen her eyes returned to Marlene’s body. She let out an audible hiss. “Did you break a fucking rib?” Emmeline’s eyes flashed up to the brunette’s face, filled with concern as her hands instinctively pressed to the darkened skin just beneath the line of Marlene’s bra.

“Don’t be such a fucking tough guy, McKinnon.” Emmeline grimaced as her hand was quickly replaced with the tea-towel. The familiar ghost of affection returned as Emmeline started to work on the other woman’s wounds, harking back to the countless times before they had been in this very same spot.

Whatever it was, the unnameable, unplaceable thing in Emmeline’s chest, they would figure it out. Marlene was too important to the woman not to. 

   “I don’t think there’d be any other way.” The words seemed grim, a reminder of the growing self-loathing that she’d steadily accomplished throughout her life. Marlene always had such skill, often was great in creating an image of herself that would make others assume things. It was what she’d been raised to do- a part of her that was so useful that she couldn’t hate it as much as the other qualities which she was bestowed. The grin that flourished her lips was genuine, however, and held some sort of warmth to it that Marlene didn’t dare say out loud. Ocean eyes swirled in blue waves as she watched Emmeline’s expression- she’d found herself reclining back slightly, regarding the way the light hit the sunny strands of her hair. “Have to convince everyone else to somehow, right?”

She’d watched the girl, porcelain fingers tracing against her skin, fixing her as she always did. She had a gentle touch, despite what words she sometimes said to the girl. Perhaps it’d been the copious amounts of alcohol that Marlene had been steadily nursing- she’d found her eyes grazing the high points of her cheek, a soft grin breaking onto her cracked lips. Her head shook, an attempt to ‘get the cobwebs out’ and try and bring some sort of normalcy to her actions. Emmeline’s expression darkened, if only for a moment, and Marlene’s lips did nothing more than break into a smirk.

  “I dunno, Em. I don’t think all of it was entirely her fault.” She didn’t emphasize, nor gloss over whatever her heart desired. Marlene had always been an open book, had never hid or shielded things- it wasn’t in her nature. The thing was, though, that one would have to willingly read through the volumes of her life in order to understand what fleeting picture she’d had of herself. “You know how I am- can’t even keep myself straight for longer than a week. Musta scared her off-.”

She was, however, completely in-tune to the fact that it may have been the other way around.

Perceptions were funny, especially in the game of love. That was why Marlene had never tried so hard when it came down to it- she’d welcomed mess in all points of her life, but that was the sector from which she struggled the most. The deep azures of her eyes watched Emmeline, saw the way her cheek dimpled in thought, watched the way her lips pursed and she felt herself exhale. For a moment it didn’t seem entirely scary- for a moment it felt worth the risk…

…had it not been for the hiss that had soon emerged from her lips.

  “-fuck. That doesn’t feel good, Em.” In such moments it was a foolish choice to try to act tough- but she knew what the reaction would be otherwise. Marlene revelled in the chaos and the pain she brought upon herself- it was what she’d brought onto those she cared about that seemed to affect her more deeply. “I’m not trying to be- I knowyou find it- shit- endearing.”

Her breaths hissed through her teeth as Emmeline began to inspect her, body slumping down slightly as she forged her most convincing smile onto her lips.

[lionhvrted-archive]

marlene at hogwarts

[michaelcorners]

Kind heart

Fierce mind

Brave spirit 

[estrela--marlene-blog]

@professorminerva-mcgonagall

At least the girl knew better than to argue with her since Minerva was looking for any excuse to bite someone’s head off right now and disobeying logical instructions was a swift way to reach that point. She waited in the hallway while the other ran about like a Cornish Pixie gathering whatever she needed to leave the house. Spotting the two kittens going into Marlene’s pocket she heaved a sight and pulled her hat off. With a flick of her wand the hat became a kitten carrier and she placed the jumper inside before raising an eyebrow at Marlene, “Put them in here dear, otherwise you’re likely to have severely scratched thighs before we’ve got back to the order. Most animals can get stressed with apparation.” But they had no time to move another way now.

As much as she admired Mary trying to face the problem alone she was too angry with her for doing so when it put her in danger. It wasn’t a simple mix of emotions and she’d rather not examine it too closely right now. “Well she did.” Minerva nodded, “I had an owl off her just as the sun rose this morning.” And she’d been there only minutes after she’d finished readying the letter.

“Thank you, for making her see sense. Some things in the world aren’t meant to be faced alone.” She was silent as she moved back to the door, “No. But I will find out and once I get my hands on them… The Aurors will be lucky if I leave anything behind for them to imprison.”  

Marlene had nodded as she slowly picked up the kitten carrier, her stuff in an old backpack that she’d kept around for ‘just-in-case’ or in times like these. It wouldn’t have been fair to assume that Marlene was overprepared- she hadn’t after all, ever assumed that such a thing would happen to anybody that she cared about. The fact that Mary had been suffering in silence had irked her, had made her worry in a way that she seldom did. Her eyes brightened slightly at Minerva’s words, lips pursed.

  “I knew she wouldn’t do it straight away. As gentle as she might be she can be quite stubborn.” She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, an attempt to restore what calm she’d had just moments before. “I should’ve stayed with her last night- she wouldn’t let me. There was just- there was this look of fear in her eyes that I never want to see again.” The deep blues of her eyes flashed in a moment of anger, her blood beginning to simmer and boil at the very thought. The fact that whoever it was had scared Mary to silence made the brunette more aware of how dangerous the person could truly be. “I didn’t know what else to do. She forbade me from letting you know.”

Her breath came out, heavy and still, warmth rising to her cheeks as she’d shaken her head. She was back to the neutral stoic expression that she usually held, arms crossed as she regarded her professor.

  “I doubt you’d allow me, but if you do need help, Professor, of any kind, I’m just an owl away.”

[i-live-for--the-aesthetic]