Eternally Fated Jaded Spaded

He/him You may call me Dionysus and/or Panther 𓃮𓃭 Main Tumblr I post works on/Ao3: Dionysus2xBorn The trees deny themselves nothing that makes them grow. 𓄂𓆃 I only come here to share things, lol. (Don't DM me unless we talked in comments or something. I have chronic pain in my fingers and can't talk much. Asks are open.) Unmonitored NSFW because I come from wildwest Tumblr days. This is the one i use for everyday posting. "I am a disciple of the philosopher Dionysus, and I would prefer to be even a satyr than a saint." — Friedrich Nietzsche, Ecce Homo (section 2 "Why I Am a Destiny") Enact your becoming—consume and be consumed, fearlessly and unapologetically.

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

Playlists

Gen. Fandom:

(These two are classical music playlists, the one for Like Minds is above; the one for Nigel is below. I have a headcanon playlist for both Alex and Nigel that I'll eventually post that aren't classical but align with my crossover (BHS). On the topic of "The Secret History of The Black Hole Stars Elisivity," I have a classical scoring for that fic as well as a non-classical playlist. Both are very long as I've made them over the years of working on things as able.)

Fanfic.’s:

Priest/monk kink playlist:

Note: my other blog is @dionysus2xborn (where I will only post more official content concerning fics from now on) I have to clean it up when I have time and move everything to this blog, which is just for talking more.

archive: dionysus2xborn

Colour coded system for fics: Green = safe (but still check tags/description/notes because it can still contain sensitive subject matter, just not explicitly); Orange = middle ground (still check tags/description/notes and will have uncomfortable topics); Red = not safe (def always check tags, explicitly triggering material).

While I'll try to update this as I update the fics, just always be mindful of the tags/description/notes as you're reading. The fandoms themselves deal with a lot so, there's only so much that's "easy reading".

Also, I've taken to adding (LM) for Like Minds, (TSH) for The Secret History and so on for any other fandoms.

Fics:

(TSH) “I love you, though you hurt me so.” (Original (that’s WAY fluffy, and just a different story completely) is: “what’d you take?”)

(TSH) A hc origin story and telling of things from Henry's POV I'm still working on: “My white sheet and porcelain clawfoot tub, christened with blood of the innocent”. (tw. gore/psych.thriller)

(TSH/LM)The crossover, aka “The Secret History of the Black Hole Stars Elusivity”

(LM/TSH)Oneshots that will most likely be in the crossover (so, big spoilers)

(LM) "Strange Sanctuary"

Other fandoms:

(Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse) Grant Me Peace (GORE sadomasochistic)

Moodboards/web weaves:

Nigel Colbie hc for Black Hole Star fic - "The Grotesque Boy God" Gen:

Ducunt volentem fata, nolentem trahunt (a LM Valintine's art)Amor Fati--love of one's fate. Valentine's Day revisited!

♠️Jacks♠️ Birthday present I did for fun to post along with the astrological chart post by @laurelwen (LM)

Mysterious Skins/Like Minds crossover monologue (MS/LM)

Memes:

-TSH - Henry/Richard - First date ideas -TSH - LM - Survive anything for a crush -Henry Winter - Fuck your peace, then lets fuck? <3 -Henry's daily life struggles -(R) I feel uncomfortable around tall people (H&F) -ANY "love when my boyfriend gaslights me into embracing my inner monster..." -Henry IS that one friend -LM or TSH "she shot you… emotionally?" "No with 9mm." -LM if Nigel made memes -LM - TSH "You have an incredibly threatening aura about you."

Words of the Day

ἀθέσφατον

General Quotes:

"I hated my hands..."— Elmer Wayne Henley

Rants

A bit about my Philosophy concerning BHS and ILY

Recs

Media rec for similar vibes to LM media recs for AU vibes for LM and or TSH

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

Rec

Severely underrated movie as is, but sort of a reverse bully situation where the Nigel character bullies the Alex.

Watch La mécanique du cœur (Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart)! You won't regret it. There's one bully scene I still have a visceral heartache in remembering. I'm going to finally rewatch it soon for inspiration. I remember thinking of LM when I watched it but couldn't recall the name.

ik I mentioned it before but it's been on my mind again.

I got halfway through, and music started coming back to me. Tell me why there's another Spanish song that talks about being in love with "her Quixote," and I've been reading that book on Grotesque Realism that mentions Don Quixote quite a lot. For reference, that book is about a man who "reads too many books about knights and goes crazy and thinks he's a knight too. He rides an old horse and tries to fight imaginary evil things like windmills." Lol 🤣

Here's the song. Used to love it. This movie is evern weirder than I remembered, bro.

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

well... first of all, can't spell whore without hero so... jot that down.

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

Honestly, the best part of having made this this morning is that for the last few days I have been getting up first thing, working on my research for hours at a time. And I was doing so this morning as well. So I'm over here, hunched over my books, rereading and annotating, and that came to me.

Lmfao, it's all about allowing yourself to be the whole of you. Loving that whole. Really, it's wholeing without your allowing anyway, so...

[overdoseparty]

Till death do us apart 😊

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

me thinking of this même

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

well... first of all, can't spell whore without hero so... jot that down.

[besaint]

Few are made for independence – it is a privilege of the strong. And he who attempts it, having the completest right to it but without being compelled to, thereby proves that he is probably not only strong but also daring to the point of recklessness. He ventures into a labyrinth, he multiplies by a thousand the dangers which life as such already brings with it, not the smallest of which is that no one can behold how and where he goes astray, is cut off from others, and is torn to pieces limb from limb by some cave-minotaur of conscience. If such a one is destroyed, it takes place so far from the understanding of men that they neither feel it nor sympathize – and he can no longer go back! He can no longer go back even to the pity of men!

—Friedrich Nietzsche, from Man Alone with Himself; “The Free Spirit”

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

"To live alone one must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle. Leaving out the third case: one must be both—a philosopher.” — Maxims and Arrows, Twilight of the Idols.

[fiery-kitty]

"Le Pater" by Alphonse Mucha (1899)

"Give us this day our daily bread"

"Forgive us our trespasses"

"Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil"

[undinesea]

Photo by Anastasia Afanaseva

[2002-secretary]

[avrrx]

So i'm watching this movie, and why do they lowkey give Henry and Bun. Just add some glasses and Henry a little more build.

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

More people need to reblog this because, yes. I mean, handsome, far too kind-looking. Let the Henry fellow smoke a pack a day and practice looking more dead inside, get those dark circles going, then PERFECT. I genuinely want to watch this only to think of them while doing so. Amazing, thank you!

[john-richard-papen]

Trees are schizophrenic.

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

'Bout that time of year.

[cyborgsheep]

Pentheus, the King of Thebes, was torn apart limb-from-limb (sparagmos) by his own mother, Agave, and her sisters in a Dionysian frenzy for defying the god Dionysus.

（I want to portray the terrifying side of Dionysus!)

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

I haven't been this stunned in a long time from art. This is... everything!

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

OMG, my poor BBI readers, I am so sorry. I forgot to update the Eros section.

I have definitely deviated so far from the original direction of things and found my true voice and natural flow. I just completely forgot to update that.

It used to connect to some Freudian bullshit, which I actually always hated but was trying to find the words for. I also hate most of Plato now, but still do like the Symposium's Daimon. I can utilize stuff from people I don't like, though; that's just me.

As I ranted on in the tags, I think it was just because of certain influences at the time on my mind, creating such a solidness to the official canon and a sanctity that made me feel as if, given a Thanatos/Eros framework already exists, I must use it as is.

In actuality, I have always preferred the unofficial canon. Thus, my philosophy was fully conceived amidst my slaying of almost all official canon for me outside of what felt right for the story in me to write, and in the digesting of that dying off portion, the All bloomed forth in all its revitalizing glory, constantly rebirthed, morphing, merging, copulating, giggling, and gagging, and of course... dancing ever since. Lmfao, if you know, you know.

The entire thing's such a mix of philosophies (to the extent where I've renounced modern psychology for these works), myths, cults, and grotesque realism, along with some other things, as I've woven them together. It's really similar, in the enlightened madman sort of vein, to my BHS fic still to come.

PROMISE. Lol, just be patient. Or don't. It ain't gonna change how I gotta work on my shit.

Here's the updated definition for the safe word Richard said in Chapter 3.

**** The safeword used, ἔρωτος (erotos), is the genitive form of eros. In Greek grammar, the genitive case is used to show ownership. Therefore, the word doesn't just mean 'love'—it means 'belonging to Eros/Love.'This is Richard, creating a paradox wherein calling out this word implies a boundary has been broken past his limit, to which he submits. But still, even at its worst, he and their love belong to Eros. In the classical world, Eros was both the patron of male-male love and the source of a terrifying, soul-altering "divine madness." I'll leave that up for your interpretation. I've been inspired by Symposium along with most myths and cults, but most notably here, Diotima’s direction of making Eros a daimon. This was the period when Plato had not yet created good and bad leveling systems for Daimons, and thus, they were simply neutral, in-between creatures, neither good nor bad, but simply ones who ensured that the grand Necessity was followed out by individual Fate.

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

BTW, I am trying to rearrange the "unabridged" ILY Playlist and have sort of perfected the ending to reflect the feel and wanted to let y'all know.

Even the songs for a good bit before these (in the pic), but these especially embody the ending. I can't believe my brain has like a sorted discography which scores the background of portions I'm currently rearranging and keeping track of all these moving parts while still writing and everything else I have going on. Even I'm impressed by this old thing. 😘🧠 That's me kissing my brain, lol. Wait... I forget that's an innuendo. I mean, wouldn't we all if we could?

Okay, seriously though, the Alex Lenz songs paralleled at the start and end are maddeningly perfect for what they're pulling off. *rocking on the floor about how excited I have been getting* the start is also getting there.

Also, fun fact: I do plan to sit with everything once the story and the main playlist are organized to make a tighter, bridged version of the ILY playlist, since I know it's very long and some I use for vague inspiration. That one will be the ones I used directly for scenes. Properly sorting things out finally! Well, I have been slowly doing what I can, but I've waited so long to say so since I don't like people expecting me to function along a linear timeline of development. (That's touched on too, teheheh.)

Also, I needed to say something about this song since I thought it had way more recognition, but it was a very old inspiration I pulled from. It was a lost cause for a long time because I hadn't made a playlist for what was meant to be a one-shot and all. Lol. But its such a good energetic song that needs more love from my kind of fandoms, freaks that we are. Could def see a edit for either LM or TSH to it.

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

Unfaithful (2002)

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

For those thinking philosophically about this, I don't know if I believe in this sentiment myself, but I like to explore all in art. My writing is about thinking of each character as a whole, fully fleshed-out human and not just as a means to serve a plot or any single moral.

I want it to feel as illogical and honest as real humans in real-life situations are. I haven't even seen this movie. I just saw this at the time I had been working on some portions of ILY and BHS that have to do with the concept of free will, especially in dicey and less-than-savory circumstances.

I was more so assuming for a moment here the perspective of the reader, the onlooker (as the character dynamics in those works are concerned) and of the one who gets to judge and preach from the omnipotent "observer" role, removing themselves from the dirty emotions of reality as it is, as we follow those illogical and true-and-"right"-only-to-us feelings in any given moment of our lives.

I've been meaning to mention this aspect of my writing regardless, but for whatever reason, this post is getting suggested to people again, so I figured it was ideal to just rant about what I mean here since it gives a solid but concise example of what I mean. Or rather, an example of what I don't, but inadvertently explains well what I myself embody, in my opinion.

Life, people, love, and circumstances are simply not that simple to categorize, much less understand. It's only through feeling and honoring what is right for ourselves that we live our own lives.

I need not understand nor explain my reasoning behind doing or not doing a thing, in allowing or not allowing another to do something. It need not have words to make the experience of life tangible and understood.

I suppose, more to the point, it is through the body and that direct experience of all things that is enough for me. The tactile and uncategorizable experience of life and love has been my aim as to what I'm expressing in any given experience for my characters.

I am only now able to find words enough to explain that which, ironically, I am arguing shouldn't need them in practice.

This is just my opinion.

We will not always understand another, nor their reason for being as they are, nor as they shift in digesting more of life and growing through theirs, which is to say, their becoming.

We shouldn't have to in order to appreciate one another either. Human to human, beast to beast, if animals can honor every level of the ecosystem without words and logic but through an honest feeling—even if at times needing confrontation—so can we.

But it is certainly, I believe, most abundant a feeling and most understood when we suspend ourselves in this, and not in the black and white world of conscious categories we've formed, words included, as much as I love them.

I've come to learn how blasphemous it can feel to try to tame an experience of something so honest and real in the world of structure that is the written word. Perhaps that is why my sentences and style take on snakelike, ornate windings as they do.

At any rate, I do hope any of my art expression might resonate with you. But if not, that's okay too!

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

Post by @eternallyfatedjadedspaded

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 0 · Beyond Good and Evil · 35. O Voltaire! O humanity! O idiocy! There is something ticklish in "the truth," and in the SEARCH

My addition until I can gain some distance from diving back into that book and going a little quote heavy on the initial reblog for more context which... at this point in time would only give people too much homework of reading. lol

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

Beyond Good and Evil

35. O Voltaire! O humanity! O idiocy! There is something ticklish in "the truth," and in the SEARCH for the truth; and if man goes about it too humanely—"il ne cherche le vrai que pour faire le bien"—I wager he finds nothing!

The French line: “he searches for the truth only to do good” (Essentially, “if someone searches for truth only to do good (i.e., with a moral agenda or emotional investment), they will likely fail to find it.” Moreover, I'd add that it holds the implication that truth requires objectivity, skepticism, and especially a willingness to confront uncomfortable or unethical realities--something that “too humane” a search might avoid, but in so doing hasn't achived the desired task at hand.)

[sergal]

everyone shut da fuck up this is the only thing that matters

[eternallyfatedjadedspaded]

i see nothing but them uwu (of course they'd be holding each other by the throat but, we can dream)