For A Moment - chapter thirteen: three words
this is ALL written portion.... this is 1 out of the 2 moments in this smau I have been really excited for, and I hope I did it justice. This is almost 1k words and so I would really appreciate feedback since I really wanted to make it good for you guys!
You and your roommates had just sung the final notes of Red Velvet’s “Psycho” whilst the rest of your party clapped at the off-key, theatrical performance. You set down your mic and giggled as you took a seat next to your boyfriend, who wrapped an arm around you. You leaned in, smiling and giggling as you watched Yachi and Hinata scroll to pick the next song.
“Aw man!!” You looked over to Nishinoya, who slammed his glass onto the table, “we are all out of drinks!” Your eyes lit up as you bounced out of your seat.
“I'll go get more! Does anyone have requests?”
“Can you get a couple more bottles?” Noya whined.
“Oh and some sodas too!” Yachi piped in.
“Probably water too…” Kageyama added.
“Okay!” You nodded to head out making a mental list in your head, while Osamu stood up to catch you out.
“Wait, I'll go with you to help you carry the drinks.” Osamu grabbed your arm and joined you on your journey out the private room and to the bar. It was only a short walk to the bar where you put in your order to the bartender. You pressed your back against the bartop facing Osamu as you two waited for the drinks.
“This has been so fun tonight, I am so happy we got to do this!” You told him.
“Me too baby, I love seeing you happy like this. I’m really glad we got to do this.” Osamu grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours.
You sat for only a few mere seconds smiling and playing with your interlocked hands before Osamu called your name. You lifted your gaze up to see him already gazing at you deeply.
“What is it samu?” You tilted your head.
A wave of sobriety kicked into you, your stomach twisting. You stood up straight, your eyes wide. You gazed past Osamu and saw Oikawa coming out of a karaoke room with his friends, like a kick to your stomach. It was the final pebble to break your dam of emotions.
This was wrong. Everything was wrong. You weren’t supposed to be here with Osamu. You weren’t supposed to be hearing those words from Osamu. “I love you” didn’t feel like you were going to vomit. It felt like warm butterflies consuming your body, like a secret language through stolen kisses and three hand squeezes. But you never had that with Osamu.
Oikawa had briefly met your gaze with his own shocked expression, but you swiftly turned to head out the door pulling Osamu along with you. Rushing to the door, you let go of his hand to push it open and release the both of you to the fresh air, where you felt less suffocated.
“What’s wrong?” Osamu grabbed your shoulder, scanning your face with worry.
“God Osamu, I am so sorry.” You choked out, tears welling up in your eyes. You paced back and forth.
“Oh my god I am so terrible, I’ve been lying to you this entire time, lying to myself this entire time!” You cried out, putting your hands on your head.
“What do you mean?” Osamu spoke lowly, his throat tight.
“All this time… I really thought I was ready for a relationship and I… I was just convincing myself this was right….” You wrapped your arms around your stomach as your back hit the wall of the building. You watched Osamu’s gaze towards the floor, watching his mental calculations.
“Is it because of what I did? I promise I won’t—”
“No, no no no, it’s not because of that, It’s because I was dishonest to both of us about my feelings.” You reached out your hand as reassurance, which Osamu backed away from. There was a moment of silence, wrapping around and suffocating the two of you.
“All this time I was so worried about losing you to that jerk, but I never truly had you at all did I?” Osamu spoke up, letting out a pained chuckle.
“I think it was easier for myself to pretend when he wasn’t here, I’m so sorry for doing this to you Osamu.” You turned your head to the side out of the guilt raging in your stomach seeingOsamu’s broken expression.
“So this is the end of us then?” You nodded.
“It’s not fair to you, I can’t love you the same way.” You lifted a hand to wipe some of the tears streaming down your face. Osamu sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“I hope you one day can get over him yknow, or at least find someone more deserving of you than him.”
“I can’t stay here like this, I guess I’ll see you at rehearsals y/n.” You nodded in agreement, waving goodbye as his defeated figure walked off.
You stood against the wall of the building for longer, trying to gain composure. You screwed your eyes shut as you let out shaky breaths. Replaying the past few months with disillusioned eyes, everything began to make sense. The way you didn’t care about Osamu going through your phone, how you were more mad at Oikawa than anything. Following your breakup, you felt too much hurt and anger and wanted to move past, which required you putting on a play without a stage to perform. But pretending was easier when you didn’t have to look at the brunette that broke your heart nearly every day.
“Screw this,” you pulled out your phone to text your friends inside, “I’m going home.”
AHHHH HOW WAS IT???? feedback is much appreciate for this chapter thank you guys so much for being so supportive and patient!!! I finish summer classes in a couple days so updates should be more timely!
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