I actually also rated the tropical fruits in general but it's too long so I'm starting with this much more manageable one. Reasonings under the cut
S TIER
Chocolate doughnutfruit - chocolate doughnut that grows on a tree. Self explanatory
Grilled doughnutfruit - Almost didn’t count this one as it’s more of a prepared food than a fruit on its own, but it’s different enough to be considered its own thing imo. This one is an improvement on the regular doughnutfruit which is already great.
Purple Doughnutfruit - Jimmy’s favorite (Jimmy is the purple one I made sure). There’s 0 information about the flavor but considering Jimmy only seems to eat doughnutfruit I trust his judgement on which one is the best one. It’s this one, apparently.
Yellow doughnutfruit - It tastes like a glazed doughnut. Fuck yeah dude
A TIER
Doughnutfruit - the OG. Tastes like a doughnut. Excellent concept for a fruit.
Sprinkled Doughnutfruit - like the grilled, this one is more of a prepared food, but still different enough to warrant a spot here. Personally i prefer plain doughnuts but sprinkled is still a solid option.
Cloudberry Doughnutfruit - Cloudberry doesn’t have a lot of flavor information, but if we infer it to be a mild berry flavor with a light texture this actually sounds pretty solid as a doughnut.
Fish Doughnutfruit - This either tastes like a regular doughnutfruit but is fish shaped OR it has a fishy flavor, which brings to mind takoyaki. Either way, delicious. It’s nice to have something a bit more savory on the list.
Strawberry Doughnutfruit - Tastes like a strawberry doughnut.
B Tier
Prickly Doughnutfruit - The only one that needs to be peeled. I’m inferring that it would be similar to a prickly pear flavored doughnut
Blue Doughnutfruit - Tastes like a blueberry muffin.
Green Doughnutfruit - lime flavored doughnutfruit. Like lemon cake but lime?
Pineapple Doughnutfruit - if we take the description at face value this is just a regular ass pineapple with less prep. Otherwise, this would probably end up tasting like a pineapple upside-down cake, which sounds really good.
C Tier
Fiery Doughnutfruit - Neopets can eat fire. However, because I am a person and not a neopet, this sounds difficult and painful to eat. If I could though, I imagine this would just taste like eating a doughnut directly out of the fryer, which sounds awesome
Sponge Doughnutfruit - Texture sounds weird. Would still probably eat it if it was the last dessert at a potluck.
D Tier
Checkered Doughnutfruit - There genuinely isn’t enough information on this one to give it a proper grade
Rainbow Doughnutfruit - As above
GARBAGE Tier
Grey Doughnutfruit - Depression is not something I want in my food. It looks gross and the flavor is gone. No thank you
Gold Doughnutfruit - this is literally just metal. I guess you can lick it?
Silver Doughnutfruit - Same problem as the gold doughnutfruit, but it tastes worse.
Limestone Doughnutfruit - A cross between a doughnutfruit, a lime, and a stone veggie. It isn’t literally made of limestone at least, but based on the description of the stone veggie I have to imagine it just tastes like a rock hard green doughnutfruit.
Dung Doughnutfruit - I’m gonna be honest chief. I didn't even read the description for this one before putting it down here.
Snot Doughnutfruit - I didn’t read the description for this one either. TNT what the fuck
on the subject of bots, runescape had literally the best way of dealing with their botting problem:
if an account was detected using bot software, they would be instantly teleported to a hearing from a witchfinder general style npc, where other players could watch and throw rotten tomatoes at them. then the audience could vote on how the person on trial would be killed as punishment, and THEN the botter was permanently banned afterwards. it was the funniest shit ever
People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.
The holidays are coming up. Retail workers are going to be spiraling into a nightmare beyond human comprehension. If you’ve worked retail, you know this. If you haven’t, be aware of it. Please be kind to every retail worker you come across. Please be patient and understanding. It is misery out there.
Pretty sure “money can’t buy happiness” is meant to actually mean “don’t neglect emotional health and caring for the people in your life in the pursuit of more wealth than you need”, but instead middle-class and rich people use it to tell poor people “don’t strive to have financial security even though I have it”.
“I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world. I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum. “Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!” I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away. Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.”
—
David Wong, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”
This actually happened! I’ve always felt that if you buy a book where the stated summary is “two princesses attempt to fight dragons and get married” you don’t really have a right to be mad when the book turns out to be about two princesses attempting to fight dragons and get married but what the hell do I know.
Actually, the main complaint was that it was “historically inaccurate” for two princesses to be allowed to get married. Which was weird to me, since this story is not set on earth and I’m pretty sure it is historically accurate for gay couples to be allowed to get married on this super convenient wish-fulfillment fantasy world that I concocted after logging 300 hours in Skyrim.
Curiously enough, she didn’t complain about the dragons being inaccurate.
Star-Lord from the Guardians of the Galaxy movies probably still thinks Santa is real. He was taken from Earth as a kid and then raised in space around aliens and crazy creatures the rest of his life. He probably assumes Santa is an alien.
