In honour of my delightfully quirky new mascot, I have put together a list of a TON of habits, idiosyncrasies, or quirks your character might have, divided into categories. Some are rather common while some are a bit obscure. Hopefully this list will inspire you to make your characters unique in little ways. Enjoy!
Trigger warning: If you are easily triggered by mentions of self-harm, abuse, or anxiety, please do not open the read more.
Note: Some of these involve a medical disorder that requires significant research.
Below the cut you will a masterlist of 40+ bad habits for your character to have. Some of these bad habits are bad etiquette while some of them are bad speaking habits. Some of them are incredibly bad for your health and others are just unprofessional. Please like or reblog this post if it has helped you in any way!
Most every character has them. Most every character needs them. Whether it’s Protagonist Number One or side character #7, flaws and quirks make a flat character three dimensional and more interesting. (it’s not the only thing and it doesn’t replace character growth and character development, but hey, every little bit helps).
Flaw:
1) a mark, fault, or other imperfection that mars a substance or object.
Flaws can make or break a character. Too much and we could hate them, too little and we can’t relate to them. Ask yourself this: Is this flaw actually a flaw? AKA, does it go away when the big guns come out and doesn’t actually hinder the character in any way? How do they affect your character and the situations they find themselves in? How does it affect their relationship with other characters? Is this something that causes problems? Is it something your character can grow from?
Adding Character Flaws
When Flaws Go Too Far: Avoiding Unlikable Characters
Writing Flawed Characters
Make Flaws Work On More Than One Level
Four Types Of Flaws
Being selfish: Everything is about me, even when it’s not. I put myself first above everything else.
Always a pessimist: Nothing every goes my way and the worst always happens to me.
Entitlement: I deserve the very best of everything and nothing less. Everything I want, I deserve.
Anger/volatility: Overly emotional. Takes everything to heart. Everyone is out to get them.
Eager to please: Can’t say no. Always willing to help even at the cost of themselves.
Unreliability: Always late. Never keeps promises, etc.
Compulsive liar: Unable to consistently tell the truth
Blunt: Always speaks their mind. Unprompted and without tact.
Addict: Alcohol. Drugs. Gambling. etc.
Disloyalty: Untrusting and unfaithful.
Cruel: Mean in actions and words without thought to feelings.
Greedy: Hoarder of money, things, affection, and time.
Gullible: Willing to believe anything and everything without proof.
Incompetent: Unable to do any task, no matter the training or difficulty.
Stubborn: My way or the highway.
Perfectionist: Everything must be the way I want it at all times.
Nosy: Eavesdropper. Sticks their nose where it doesn’t belong. Too invested in others business.
Laziness: Unwilling to do anything. Sloth. No desire to complete tasks.
Arrogance: Self importance.
Quirk:
1) a peculiar behavioral habit.
Different Types Of Character Quirks
The Quintessence Of Quirks
Character Quirks Generator
Personality Generator (includes quirks)
Character Quirks
Quirks are fun because they can give you insight to your character. It can be done subtly, or not, and in some cases, it can actually be useful in the plot. Quirks, like flaws, expand into so many more things than I can write about here. Create one! Or seven! Think about how your character is and works and find one that shows more about themselves. Use these as a jumping off point to get your creative juices flowing.
Inability to look someone in the eyes
Can’t help but interrupt someone who is speaking
Terribly practical
Terribly impractical
Nail biting
Pet names
Zero tact
Very trusting, even of strangers
Jumps into every situation without considering the consequences
Can’t say no
Can’t sit still. Ever
Never lies
Always lies
Spacey
Overprotective
Can’t turn down a challenge
Can’t make a decision to save their life
Holds grudges
Chews on pens/pencils
Unreliable
Too reckless
Doesn’t like germs
Easily distracted
Dramatic and unpredictable
Terrible cook
Doesn’t like to be touched
Gossip
Lack of personal space
Puts work ahead of friends and family
Messy eater
Always snacking
Character (with an accent) slips back into a the accent when they lie or are nervous
Caves under pressure too easily
Attention hog
Laziness
Hypochondriac
No verbal filter
Stutters under pressure
Obsessive cleaner
Refuses to clean
Odd wardrobe
Can’t eat in front of people
Is afraid of enclosed spaces
Very physical person
Mouths words when they are reading
Tendency to hum
Hair fiddling
Jewelry fiddling
Compulsive notebook carrier
Doodles
Forgets names
Always tired
Doesn’t like candy
Twiddles thumbs
Lip biting
Picky eater
Easy daydreamer
Now, there’s tons upon tons of different quirks and flaws that exist, and there’s no way I can even come close to getting them all. Hell, some flaws and quirks overlap into each others categories. Pick one. Pick four. Create your own. Use this list as a jumping off point and find your own flaws and quirks. Or use these. Doesn’t matter, just write!
(based on things that yours truly notices as a freelance editor. This list is in no way complete, and will probably be added to as I continue to find repeated mistakes)
Dialogue
Use beats in your dialogue to break it up. Even “said” can make a very effective beat between lines.
(No beats: “It’s not lethal. Just highly dangerous with a good chance of being mutilated.” // Beats: “It’s not lethal,” he said. “Just highly dangerous with a good chance of being mutilated.”)
Note how the break allows a bit of a pause for ~dramatic effect
thinking of dialogue, use punctuation and distinct speech patterns! “Life, uh, finds a way.” is an iconic line anyway, but Jeff Goldblum’s signature verbal tic gives it character.
It’s okay if characters stutter. Don’t let the condemnation of stuttering characters as “cringey” in fanfic put you off. (and on that note, fuck cringe culture. Seriously. It saps all the fun out of creativity and fun is important.)
Use the landscape and settings around your character, and always, always remember a scene’s blocking. Where is everything in relation to your characters? Have you left someone holding a coffee cup for the last three scenes? Did you lose a character somewhere along the way?
using the contents of a scene is also great for fight sequences.
Similarly, large character casts are hard to keep track of so don’t be afraid to break them up. Sending someone off somewhere else can create some nifty little subplots.
Keep a personal note of how time passes. Trust me, it’s incredibly helpful to you as a writer and also for future readers.
Characters
Character growth does not have to be positive. Sometimes characters fail or suffer or get their motivations twisted up, and they finish the book as a villain rather than a hero.
All that matters is that a character changes throughout the plot in a way that readers can see; the sort of change they go through is entirely up to you.
scrap the idea that someone has to deserve a redemption arc. They probably don’t deserve it, which is the whole point. So don’t be afraid to make your villains seem completely irredeemable.
and you don’t need to redeem your antagonists in order to make them complex, sympathetic villains, anyway. Sometimes people get so stuck in their beliefs that they can’t see another way and it goes too far. Not everyone comes back from that.
Also, motivations and goals can absolutely change. That’s okay. You just need to have something that drives your character so that your readers are rooting for them.
Protagonists don’t need to be heroic. How you define the protagonists and antagonists in your story is based entirely on the morality in your story-world, NOT the moral ideas in the real world. What counts as a complex protagonist in a world torn apart by biological warfare will be very different than one living in our world.
Prose & Grammar
simple prose is just fine and you don’t need to fluff it up for pretty quotes.
Remember to vary your sentence structures and length. Start smaller and build it up, drawing your reader’s attention.
“And” and “But” are very valid sentence starters that are great for communicating the tone of internal narrative. You’re allowed to tweak grammar if that’s helpful for telling the story, it just needs to be accessible. Test out what you’ve written on other people.
Hi! Do you have any tips for writing def characters? I want to write a fic and have done a lot of research so I'm not going to write anything offensive, but I just want to know if you know anything I can do to make sure I don't get anything wrong. I want it to be a good fic and don't want anyone to get hurt because I write a deaf character wrong.
i do!!
before i start, here’s a post i wrote about it a few months ago!! i’d definitely suggest reading that one!
here’s a few other helpful posts about writing deaf characters: if you’re writing a deaf of HoH character…, people are people, and speech is speech
also, i’d suggest reading my post that deals with a little bit of deaf culture
anyways, here’s a few more tips:
sign language
-my biggest pet peeve in deaf character fics is when people make a big deal out of writing sign language. when writing a character using sign language, ask yourself ‘would i do this with writing a spoken language?’. if the answer is no, you need to change it. one of the biggest questions i see is ‘how do i write sign language? how should i format it?’ you write it and format it in the same way you do spoken language. you use quotations and a dialogue tag. in the dialogue tag you can use things such as ‘he signed’ or vaguely describe the hand movements or facial expression. if you feel like you need to set sign language dialogue apart from spoken word in a different way, then i suggest you sit down and try to think a long time about why you feel it needs to be so different than spoken word.
-another question i see a lot is whether people should write sign language as its literal translation. for the sake of convenience and like a lot of other languages, sign language omits certain sentence parts. it’s mostly articles, iirc, and the verb and subject can be in different places than they are in english. however, this is the same as in different languages. for example, the japanese language also tends to switch around grammar in ways that can be hard for english speaking people to understand. you wouldn’t write a bunch of japanese characters using traditional japanese grammar when you’re writing in english, though. you write it how you, the writer, and the audience will understand. do the same with sign language. there’s no reason to write sign language exactly how it’s translated, especially when you wouldn’t do that when writing characters speaking a different language.
-similarly, don’t describe every sign a character uses. that’s tedious, you’ll hate it, and your readers will hate it. you wouldn’t describe every mouth movement someone uses while speaking, so don’t describe every single sign. however, you can vaguely describe a few occasionally or describe really important ones.
-sign language is a language with different dialects. you probably know that someone in japan who knows sign language wouldn’t understand someone in america who uses sign language because ASL and JSL are completely different languages. however, even british sign language and ASL are completely different, even though both countries speak similar english. going further, there’s different dialects within languages. while they would be able to understand each other, someone who knows ASL in new york would have a very different set of slang and some different signs than someone who knows ASL in texas. there’s cultural differences everywhere
-basically, just treat sign like you would treat spoken language. there’s literally no reason to treat it differently.
general tips
-you already mentioned this, but research is a huge necessity!! lots and lots of research is good. also, i’d highly recommend talking to someone in the deaf community as well. first hand experience is always a good thing to get. make sure you focus a lot on researching deaf culture. i find that that’s the hardest thing for hearing readers to grasp.
-please remember that being deaf or hoh is not really seen as a disability within the community. your character is realistically not going to spend a lot of time angsting over the fact that they can’t hear, because deaf people don’t typically do that irl. they will probably express irritation at the world around them because deaf people are expected to conform to society and that’s very confusing and they’ll probably experience frustration with the way people treat them, but usually not over being deaf in itself.
-also, please remember that deaf people have a long history of being forced to assimilate into the hearing world through forced surgeries, forced use of technology, and being forced to learn how to speak vs. learning sign language.
-lip-reading really isn’t a reliable way of understanding the world. it can be incredibly confusing and inconvenient. sign language is a much better way of ‘listening’ to the world around you.
-some deaf people choose not to learn how to speak. some deaf people know how to speak and choose to only communicate via sign language. both are fine. speaking can be a lot of frustration and unnecessary effort and it’s another one of those ‘why should i learn to do this just to make you more comfortable’ sort of things.
-make sure to listen to any feedback people in the deaf community give you!!! this is a very valuable thing and can help your writing a lot!
best of luck!!! it sounds like you’ve already got a great grasp on research and whatnot!
The spoon theory is a disability metaphor that describes the idea of limited energy, using spoons as a unit of energy for activities of living and productive tasks that may result from disability or chronic illness.
I’ve been held up in writing because of this pain and anxiety, and what’s going on in Japan atm. I wish I could finish putting this together before ao3 deletes the draft from my account, but I think I’ll have to put off finishing this fic for a bit.
Tossing his phone aside, Ichigo heaves himself up from the sofa to answer the door. Padding bare-footed towards the genkan, Ichigo doesn't even bother checking who it is before swinging the door open, so it comes as a complete surprise when it’s Rukia on the other side.
"R-Rukia." Ichigo sputters, caught off guard. He would almost believe that he’s hallucinating—it wouldn’t be the first time--if it wasn’t for Ise standing at the end of his floor, on-guard.
Inclining her head in polite greeting, Rukia remains standing outside his apartment instead of barging in like she usually would. Ichigo straightens up at that tiny, yet significant observation.
"Come inside." Ichigo suggests, stepping aside to allow Rukia inside. When she passes him, Ichigo catches the hint of cigarettes cloaked by the scent of something airy and flowery. Perfume; something Rukia has never worn, something different about her within these two weeks. Ichigo can only wonder what else has changed about her within this time, saddened by the thought that she might not be the same Rukia from before anymore.
"You can take a seat in the living room." Ichigo informs her after watching her just stand there, pointing to the couch she used to pay homage to without any prompting.
"I'll make us some tea, so just make yourself comfortable." Ichigo explains with his back turned, already retreating to the kitchen before the end of his sentence, leaving Rukia still standing in his living room.
In the safety of another room--even though the kitchen is a part of the living room--Ichigo tries to recollect his thoughts before facing Rukia. Just last week, Ichigo was hoping for her to appear before him, eyes filled with reassurances and forgiving smiles. Now, it's like Ichigo's made peace with it--if she didn't show up in front of him for the rest of his life, he would've been fine with it--but now that she's actually here, Ichigo's not too sure what to do or how to feel even though he's played all these scenarios out in his head.
With a sigh of resignation, Ichigo decides to banish all expectations and possibilities from his head. Nothing good will come out of it. Rukia is here at his door, in his apartment now and they need to resolve this now.
"Here." Ichigo sets the tea down in-between them on the chabudai, taking up his usual spot when she's over by habit: across from her, on the floor of his own apartment.
Rukia hesitantly reaches out to touch the ceramic yunomi, stroking the familiar crack on the side of the cups from when she tried to prepare tea the one and only time in Ichigo's apartment. Ichigo didn't realize he had picked out that particular set when making the tea and almost regrets it if Rukia hadn't wistfully smiled at the memory associated with these tea cups.
"How have you been?" Ichigo can't help asking, picking up his cup just so he can have something to do or hold on to.
Rukia doesn't answer his question, suddenly lost in the depth of her tea. Ichigo almost considers asking her again, thinking that she might not have heard the first time, but then she looks up from her tea and speaks slowly, enunciating every word distinctly, "Not well, but I think I'm doing better."
Ichigo's eyes widen in surprise. This is the first time he's heard her speak in all the time he has noticed her and after they became acquainted. He was even starting to think that she couldn’t speak. It might not have been loud, more like a whisper, but he’s awed speechless nonetheless. His thoughts must be written all over his face since she grins knowingly at him from over the rim of her teacup.
"Have you been playing me all along?" Ichigo coughs, embarrassed. He probably had his jaw flapping like a fish, no wonder she couldn't hide her smile.
With a guilty look, Rukia looks away from Ichigo while biting her lips. He mentally berates himself for being insensitive. It clearly wasn't her intention to mislead him. It’s his fault for making assumptions.
"I--" Rukia struggles to get the words out, feeling them lodge up in her throat. She keeps trying again, but she can never get past the first word and must wonder after the seventh try if she sounds like a broken record—annoying and grating to the ears. Self-conscious, she wishes a hole would open up and swallow her right now. Regrettably, her body grants her request with the tell-tale signs of a panic attack: the chill before the all-consuming hot flush, heart palpitations, breathlessness, and recognizable tingling in her fingers, feet, and back of her mind that would only spread soon and render her paralyzed.
"Rukia."
Rukia opens her eyes upon hearing her name, looking for Ichigo, who's no longer sitting across the table, instead hovering beside her.
"Rukia. You need to breathe." Ichigo instructs, seating himself next to her and laying his hand against her stomach.
"Deep breaths from where my hand is, ok?" Ichigo guides, demonstrating it with himself so she can time her breathing with his. He continues to keep his hand on her diaphragm to make sure she's taking deep breaths, enough to calm her and loosen her chest muscles so every breath isn't constricting her heart.
"Better?" Ichigo checks, noticing how her pallor looks better.
Nodding, Rukia slumps back onto the sofa she's seated on, drained.
Reassured, Ichigo stands to give her some space, but not before flicking her forehead.
'Ow!' Rukia mouths, glaring up at Ichigo, 'What was that for?!'
"For working yourself up into a frenzy that you almost had a panic attack in my living room, on my couch." he explains, implying how he didn't want her corpse in his apartment. Offended, Rukia sits up to voice her outrage about how it was out of her control and--
Pushing her back down, Ichigo scowls at her with a look that shuts her up, 'I wasn't done.'
"And also, that I'm sorry for not realizing sooner and being a bad friend all-around."
Rukia shakes her head, disagreeing. Those should be her words.
"One last thing," he continues, completely disregarding anything she has to say on this matter until he can finish articulating his thoughts and feelings after almost witnessing her have another episode, "You don't need to explain yourself. I don't understand why you need to, but I suppose if it'll make you feel better or you want to be honest, I can understand, but if it's at the cost of something, I don't need to hear it. I just want to know that you're alright, that's all I need. And if you're not, I want you to tell me," he emphasizes that last part with a steel look.
Rukia feels something fill her eyes and obscure her vision, but quickly wills it back when she recognizes them as tears. She hasn't cried since grade school. She had always thought her tears dried up ever since that incident, but it must be because no one has ever been able to touch her heart with all the walls she's built around it. No one until Ichigo.
"Baka..." Rukia whispers brokenly, hiding her face underneath her arms.
And somehow with that insult, Ichigo knows they'll be fine, retreating so they can both have their own space, taking their cold tea with him so he can brew them a fresher, warmer one.
Meanwhile, Rukia’s mentally berating herself for letting her emotions get the best of her, letting her guard down and showing her vulnerability. The walls around her heart were built specifically for that reason, to protect herself from all of that. She wouldn’t have made it this far without them. Her heart would’ve been shredded to pieces by the whims of people that call themselves her family, classmates, friends---
~VIBRATE~ ~VIBRATE~ ~VIBRATE~ VIBRATE~ VIBRAT--~
Rukia gasps, sitting up abruptly while feeling around behind her for the device that startled her.
Ichigo's mobile phone and Inoue Orihime calling.
Scanning Ichigo's apartment for the aforementioned man, she spots the shock of orange in the kitchen, probably putting away the dishes. Standing up on wobbly legs, she pads towards the kitchen, approaching Ichigo to give him the incessantly buzzing device.
Just like her to be not-so-suble, she presses the buzzing device up against his sides, startling him in turning around and grabbing at the object in question: her wrist holding his phone. He’s prepared to question her, but with a raise of her brow, Rukia switches her gaze between Ichigo and his phone, ‘Someone’s calling you, you idiot.’
Without looking at the caller, only a mumbled comment of, ‘This woman,’ Ichigo takes his mobile device from her and answers, “Yeah?”
“Oh! Kurosaki-kun!” Orihime greets through the phone, surprise laced in her voice that he picked up her call. He wasn’t answering her messages earlier so she didn’t think he would answer her call either, but she was worried when he didn’t message back to let her know if he was ok. Then her imagination started going off on its own and honestly, who knocks on someone’s door this late into the night? Only serial killers and bloodthirsty neighbors.
“Inoue?” Ichigo flickers his eyes briefly to his guest who’s looking up at him curiously. Reflexively, he turns away from Rukia so she can’t read in on his conversation with Orihime. Not that he cares, really.
“I-I-I was worried because you didn’t answer my messages! You’re not in trouble are you, Kurosaki-kun?” Orihime struggles to find her words as her mind continues wracking up all these scenarios of Ichigo and his unexpected guest.
Reminded, he feels apologetic for having worried her, “Ah. Sorry, Inoue. I’m fine. You don’t have to worry anymore.”
“Thank goodness!”
“We’ll talk more about it tomorrow, yeah?” Ichigo hastens to end their phone call when Rukia peers over behind him, wide eyes tracking his lips and nervousness.
“Mm.” Orihime agrees, but can’t help her curiosity, “Who was it?”
“A friend. We’re catching up is all, so I got distracted.” Ichigo answers, cupping his hand over his mouth when Rukia proves persistent.
“Oh.”
“Sorry. They kind of came unexpectedly.” Ichigo explains when he notices the drop in octave of the caller’s usually chipper voice.
At Rukia's suggestive eyebrow waggle and devious smirk, Ichigo flushes and hastens to end his conversation with Orihime, "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Inoue."
BEEP
"There's nothing between me and Inoue." Ichigo finds himself saying first. Rukia doesn't believe it, Ichigo surmises with the unfazed expression etched on her face.
"We just message each other here and there. I'm kind of looking after her for Tatsuki." Ichigo continues to explain, unobservant of how he's digging his own hole deeper.
'Suuuuuuuuure.' Rukia's eyes mock in an exaggerated eye roll, reverting back to their former communication with looks and gestures.
"It's true!" Ichigo defends, more bothered than he thought at the idea of Rukia assuming him together with Orihime.
To prove that he's not fooling anyone, Rukia grabs at Ichigo's phone to validate her presumption.
"Oi! What are you doing?" Ichigo chides his friend, chasing after her--his phone--as she thumbs it open, passcode unprotected.
Clicking on his messages, Rukia shows Ichigo his latest message from Orihime:
Inoue Orihime 23:37
You're welcomed to stay at my place, Kurosaki-kun.
Above that are eleven other unread messages from the last time Ichigo messaged her, so there's probably a context in there somewhere to that last message, but if read by itself there could be a misunderstanding. Ichigo prepares to round on Rukia to point that out, but pauses, thinking back to when and how Rukia would've seen the message if they were talking earlier. That last message was sent consecutively with the other messages, right after he went to open the door, so the only way Rukia could have saw the message would to be to unlock his phone personally while he wasn't looking--
Ichigo looks down at her in understanding, "You snoop!"
Rukia dances out of his reaches, his phone still a hostage in her hands. 'You don't have to be shy!' Rukia's eyes laugh once she faces him.
For some reason, he feels an inexplicable indignation boil over inside him and he snarls, "We're not together!", before lunging at Rukia for his phone.
Caught off guard by Ichigo's vehemence, Rukia trips over her own unsteady feet in her haste to escape. Falling backwards, she can only shut her eyes and brace for the impact of the fall to come.
A fall that never comes.
Opening her eyes, Rukia realizes Ichigo cushioned her fall, but now she has 66kg of male mass atop her, crushing her, quite deliberately too. Ichigo ignores Rukia's harmless slaps against his shoulder to get him to ease off, torturing her in a bit of fun and retribution. Rukia isn’t amused and continues to beat and slap her dainty hands anywhere she can reach him: his shoulders, back, chest, arms, face. Conserving her strength for breathing though, her attacks don’t hurt so Ichigo takes it all in stride until it satisfies his revenge. Appeased, he lifts the bulk of his weight off her, hovering over Rukia as she catches her breath.
'You. Fat. Ass.' Rukia glares, red-faced.
"You shouldn't have started a fight you wouldn't be able to win." Ichigo rebuts, even though he's just now comprehending that this was all a trap to agitate him like she always did, will continue to do, the bane of his existence.
'I always win.' Rukia corrects him, eyes crinkling in mirth. Ichigo doesn't bother to correct her, smiling down at her fondly and committing this moment to memory, especially the way she looks so happy and free.
‘Only because I let you.’ Ichigo wants to tell her, but can’t gather the confidence to say because it feels like he’ll be crossing a line that can’t be uncrossed once crossed.
Curious about what’s going through Ichigo’s head, Rukia taps the side of his temple along with a tilt of her head, causing her long hair to fall behind her right ear from the movement and pull of gravity, exposing a vulnerable part of her, inadvertently. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Ichigo either.
It's brief, but the orange-head is certain he caught a glimpse of something in Rukia's ear. Just to make sure though he brushes his hand over her cheek in indication of what he's doing.
Rukia's elation evaporates in a matter of nanoseconds when she feels the tips of his fingers brush near her earlobe. Her body freezes as her violet eyes go wide, every muscle in her taut and even Ichigo can feel the sudden tension suffocating the woman below him. Immediately, he pulls his hand away from her face, but she is quicker than him, her hand grasping onto his retreating one. She brings it back up to her face, her gaze soft and calm even if her quaking body and trembling fingers say otherwise.
With her permission, Ichigo tucks her hair behind her right ear to better examine what he saw earlier. Unable to see anything, he leans closer over her to have a better look; he can't help but smile at the breathlessness he hears from her at their proximity. He can even hear her smile when his hair tickles her nose and his heart soars, only to plummet when he realizes what it is he's seeing.
A scar that appears to be from some kind of messy tearing, if the deep, jagged scars around her concha are any indication. Against her pale skin, the dark, raised lines are an obvious contrast; it's no wonder she keeps her ears hidden. With shaking fingers of his own, Ichigo traces the scar tenderly, committing it to memory and wondering how such a scar came to be, but refusing all the scenarios that come to mind as well.
Perhaps self-conscious now, Rukia tilts her head back to look at Ichigo, hiding her damaged ear from his gaze.
'How?'
'Why?'
He mouths. He doesn't realize he's crying until she thumbs his tears away with a broken smile that speaks for it all.
'It happened a long time ago.'
'It's fine.'
'Don't worry about it, you fool.'
The fact that she hasn't shed a single tear, Ichigo knows she's not fine and crushes her in his arms, hiding his face in her neck and drawing her closer than ever with each growing second.
'I wish you could tell me...' Ichigo confesses, thinking back to their conversation earlier about how he wants her to be honest with her feelings, but aware that this must be a past she can’t open up about yet. So, he tightens his hold on her even more as if that alone would be enough to squeeze the truth out of her.
Surprised, Rukia huffs in exasperation but not before returning the embrace, pale fingers dancing across his neck, shoulders, and back in a comforting soothe.
For what seems like ages, the two of them remain entangled even after their emotions have calmed. It's as if neither of them knows what to do to break the awkward intimacy they've ended up in. When Ichigo's restless hands accidentally stroke Rukia's sides though, he sees their escape.
Unprepared for the assault, Rukia gasps at the sudden relentless tickling. Embarrassed, she tries to stifle her squeals and wheezing while trying to protect herself from the onslaught that is Ichigo's large hands creeping up her sides like spiders.
The tickling match has separated them from their awkward sprawl. In the quiet room of his apartment, Ichigo can't help but marvel at the sounds coming from Rukia, like an echo that won't stop reverberating in his head. Ichigo decides it's the most beautiful thing he's ever heard.
I wrote a thing for clumsychappy’s work. It’s at 42k right now, but I’m lacking motivation to finish it so I’m just gonna excerpt some of the parts that are decent until I can find the resolve and time to finish it.
I did so much research into this fic that it’s pretty sad that it’s so shit. I wish I was a better writer. These things all sound better in your head than on paper or word documents.
Between accompanying Orihime and bothering Rukia, Ichigo finds his time preoccupied compared to his first week of summer vacation. Ichigo refuses to admit brooding those first few days after Mizuiro and Keigo left, but will honestly admit bored the last few days after aimlessly wandering Tokyo and listlessly staring at his apartment ceiling. Although his promenading in Tokyo wasn't completely wasted since he discovers a bar that he actually doesn't mind too much.
The Black Cat is situated at the end of a cloister of stores and restaurants, almost blending in with the shops surrounding it if Ichigo didn't notice the pulse of music coming from it one night. Inside, the bar's dim, color-alternating lighting sets the atmosphere, exuding class and secrecy. Even from just one look, no touching, Ichigo can tell the bar is made from real mahogany wood, glinting dangerously underneath the low lighting. But for looking so sophisticated, the price is pretty reasonable and it attracts a variety of people with the thrumming music felt from below the establishment, where the later night activities tend to occur.
Yoruichi, the manager, knows Ichigo by name, not because he frequents the place that often but because he literally and accidentally stepped on the black cat his first night there. Yowling, the feline had darted up the hidden stairs behind the bar, notifying Yoruichi of the incident when she caught sight of the cat's tail. He almost got thrown out for that, but after tiring of his apologies she plied him with drinks to shut him up. After that--which Ichigo can't recall for the life of him--she always teases him like they have been good friends for years.
Ichigo also hasn't seen that black cat no matter how many times he's gone back.
He can't get it out of his mind either since Rukia likes to remind him of his cat murderer status, every time. Yoruichi assures him that it’s doing fine too, "It'll show up when it wants to."
Which is how he finds himself heading out to the Black Cat every night just to prove his point to Rukia, oftentimes dragging her along to bear witness to his innocence. Rukia puts up a fight every time, kicking and digging her heels in, but surrenders once they're around the corner. Ichigo likes to think it's because she gets to pet and feed the other stray cats that hang around the establishment.
"You play with the cats and I'll be inside." Ichigo tells her every time they do this. Rukia simply sticks her tongue out at him, then resumes her deadly rub down on the furry victim of the night.
'Those poor cats.' Ichigo can't help thinking as he slips back through the backdoor of the Black Cat, heading towards the stairs that lead down to the lower floor, dubbed 'Grounds' by the regulars, whom Ichigo has slowly become acquainted with:
There's Matsumoto Rangiku, a third year in Sociology, who's more like a resident than a customer. From what he hears, Yoruichi always finds her in the morning passed out in random places of the Black Cat. There's even a small room built for her in the bar now, for her to properly pass out in. Ichigo suspects the bedding is still brand new.
Hitsugaya Toshiro, a third year in Mathematics. He doesn't speak often and tends to occupy the least crowded space in the Grounds.
Madarame Ikkaku, a second year in Engineering, that likes to butt heads with Ichigo constantly. One time they nearly drank down Yoruichi's entire bar, almost forcing her to close for the night. When they kept going at it though, she billed their open tab plus collateral damage for all their drunken shenanigans to their respective address. Upon receiving it, they both understood it was a threat. Ichigo's tried behaving ever since, but sometimes Ikkaku makes it too easy to be destructive.
Ayasegawa Yumichika, a second year in Oriental History with eccentric tastes and a narcissistic personality. When Ichigo first met Yumichika, the vain male had commented on Ichigo's drool-worthy form and firmness that Ichigo's been unable to erase from his memories. So, he avoids being alone with the upperclassmen. Based on their interactions though, Ichigo assumes Ikkaku and Yumichika have a history together. They bicker like an old married couple.
And then there's Hirako Shinji and his gang of friends that Ikkaku cautions against associating with, but doesn't explain why. Regardless, Ichigo gives them a wide berth. Although, when he catches Hirako talking to a frozen, wide-eyed Rukia in her usual spot of the alleyway, Ichigo throws a punch at the blonde without thinking. Perceptive, Hirako dodges it easily with a mocking laugh and biting words, "Want to try that again, boy?"
Provoked, Ichigo prepares to throw another punch but stops when Rukia's own fist flies past him, landing squarely on the side Hirako’s face. Stunned, Ichigo and Shinji remain fixed in their position, Ichigo with his fist still in mid-air and Hirako on the concrete with his hand accessing the damage. From this angle, Ichigo can't see what is happening, if anything is happening at all, but something must be if Rukia's clenching hands at her sides and Shinji's resigned expression are any indication.
"Did that idiot do something stupid again?" A voice from behind Ichigo asks.
Looking over his shoulders, Ichigo sees the short, pigtail pipsqueak that's always hanging around Hirako. Ichigo remembers Hirako calling out her name on several occasions, Hiyori or Hiyoko*?
"I deserved it this time." Hirako divulges, allowing Hiyori to help him up.
"You deserve it every time." Hiyori corrects with a scowl, poking the bruise that's already starting to form on Hirako’s face.
"Oooowwww oww! Not the face!" Hirako pleads, his screams cut off when the resounding shut of the back door to the Black Cat closes.
Left alone now, Ichigo approaches Rukia, coming around her so she can see him, not wanting to alarm her. They stand like that for what seems like the end of the hour, Ichigo waiting and Rukia agitated. With a deep, long exhale though, Rukia's tension slowly begins to ebb. Only when Rukia finally untucks her chin, meeting Ichigo's eyes, does Ichigo ask, "You alright?"
Rukia closes her eyes briefly, as if thinking of the answer. It's slow to come, but the unconscious subtle bob of her head answers Ichigo's concerns for her and they leave it at that. Ichigo should've known better than to accept that as her answer though.
Especially when the subsequent nights at the Black Cat start changing Ichigo and Rukia's routine.
Rukia no longer plays with the cats in the alleyway instead mingles with the crowds in the Grounds. Although she doesn't mingle so much as stand next to Toshiro or is hauled to the dance floor by a drunk Rangiku, only to be promptly abandoned after the busty woman finds her next prey. Sometimes Ichigo will catch her talking to Shinji or his friends, her lips appearing to move as if she were actually conversating, but Ichigo blames it on the flashing lights or alcohol in his system. There is no way Rukia is actually speaking to someone, let alone someone she just punched by way of introduction.
It takes Urahara, the owner of the bar who appears and disappears randomly, pulling Ichigo aside before he starts realizing something is off.
"Kurosaki-kun! You're practically here every night now, you know?" Urahara emerges from a random sliding door next to the wall Ichigo is leaning on, nearly scaring the younger man.
"What the hell, Urahara!" Ichigo yells, backing away from the enigmatic bar-owner. Ichigo could've sworn that wall he was previously leaning against was as smooth as his last drink.
"I can't but notice that Kuchiki-san is spending more time down here than outside with the cats."
"I guess. Maybe she wanted a change in scenery?" Ichigo scoffs, searching the said woman out in the swarm of bodies and bright lights. Rangiku pulled her into the middle of the floor earlier with promises of showing her the proper moves of the hips.
Ichigo finds it difficult to immerse himself into the sway of the music, company of his friends, and drinking games when he knows Rukia is nearby. So, the past few days have been spent sulking like Toshiro while keeping his eyes trained on Rukia. Eyes that Rukia sense even in the intensity of the Grounds or feel dancing on her skin amid a throng of people. Rukia's berated him about it several times, comparing him to a guard dog to drive her point across.
Still, Ichigo couldn’t shake off the urge to seek her out. In fact, he’s never been able to since the start.
"I don't know Kuchiki-san personally, but I hardly think this is her kind of scene." Urahara frowns at Ichigo's nonchalance.
"I thought so too until a few days ago when she wanted to join me down here." Ichigo defends himself at Urahara's accusative look.
"And you weren't curious about the sudden change of heart?"
"Of course I was!" Ichigo retorts in annoyance at Urahara's persistence about this, "But I didn't think to ask her becau--"
"Because she probably wouldn't have told you." Urahara finishes for him as if he was privy to their relationship from just one glance.
"If you know then why are you asking, shaggy-clogs?"
"I don't know." Urahara smiles mysteriously at Ichigo before becoming the most serious Ichigo has ever seen, "But I do know where she goes two times a night when she's down her in the Ground."
"What?" Ichigo’s eyes widen.
"Don't you ever notice how she disappears around the same time? How pale and sweaty she looks afterwards? The way she smells sometimes, and I'm not talking about the alcohol." Urahara hints and with each observation he lists Ichigo's head starts thinking instead of noticing and feeling.
"Shit." Ichigo curses, having pieced it all together.
"Yoruichi has already secured the ladies room." Urahara imparts to Ichigo who has already taken off.
While pushing his way through the sweaty bodies of the Ground, Ichigo can't help admonishing himself,
'How stupid of you.'
'Why did it take this long for you to realize?'
'When did Urahara notice? Yoruichi?'
And specifically, 'Why didn't she say anything?'
Finally, out of the fog of the Grounds and in the lull of Black Cat's main room, Ichigo's head starts spinning from the sudden expend in energy and shift in his surroundings, but he doesn't take a moment for himself at all, only thinking of Rukia.
"Ichigo! Wait!" Yoruichi attempts to stop the younger man, but Ichigo ignores her pleas, brushing her off as he pushes open the door to the lady's lavatory.
It's eerily quiet and spotless as if there's no one in here, but Ichigo already knows once he steps into the restroom that someone is in here. Ichigo doesn't have to look into every stall to know where Rukia is, his feet already taking him to the one she's hiding in: the one furthest from the entrance.
With shaky hands and trepidation, Ichigo knocks lightly on the unlocked door of the stall. He doesn't want to enter without Rukia's permission, but he's also too anxious to just stand around that he starts speaking without realizing it, "Rukia. Rukia? Are you ok? Talk to me? ...Just say something if you're fine so I know, un?"
Silence.
Ichigo almost feels his heart stop when he hears slight movement from behind the door and then a cry of anguish that steals his breath and thoughts.
"I'm sorry, Rukia. I'm coming in." Ichigo announces before cracking the door wide enough to slide through.
The first thing Ichigo notices in the dark stall is the smell, poignant enough to halt him. Closer to the source now, it smells of putrid acid with a heavy air of self-doubt and self-contempt, with all of it coming from the wretched form draped over the toilet.
"Rukia!" Ichigo calls out, kneeling on the floor to take a better look at his friend. Lifting Rukia's head, Ichigo sweeps her hair back from her face while wiping her face with the hem of his shirt. She looks out of it from what little light filters in from over the stall. Fearing for the worst, Ichigo promptly checks her vitals while supporting her neck. From Rukia’s erratic breathing, her airways aren’t blocked. Feeling her pulse, Ichigo confirms that she’s in no danger, even if her pulse is slower than normal. Her hands are cold, but her face is warm: signs of a panic attack passing. Upon closer inspection too, she's so very pale and perspiring.
Ichigo concedes to call for medical emergency if Rukia doesn’t rouse within a few minutes.
“Rukia.” Ichigo whispers as if he’s afraid of the quiet.
“Rukia.” Ichigo tries again, this time louder.
When that doesn’t seem to work, he tries a more physical approach: shaking her gently, pinching the pads of her fingers, rubbing the warmth back into her body, and unconsciously stroking her pulse points as if that would be enough to shock the life back into her.
After having done everything in his ability and training, Ichigo succumbs to his emotions and as a [last ditch] effort collapses back against the wall of the stall with Rukia. Tucked in between his arms and legs, Ichigo keeps repeating her name, hoping it would rouse her. Only when his lips are almost brushing the pinna of her left ear does Rukia start to stir, mumbling incoherently, except her noises quickly dissolve into broken garbling cries as she tries to claw out from within Ichigo's body caging her in.
Heart seizing, Ichigo struggles to remain the calm one all through the noises escaping Rukia like gurgling glass. He tries to calm her first by reassuring her that she's fine, that there's no danger, that it's just him--Ichigo--but when her movements grow even more frantic, he worries she'll hurt herself if she keeps struggling. So, he does the only thing sure enough to stop her: Ichigo clamps his legs together, tighter, restricting Rukia's thrashing then cups Rukia's face between his hands and leans forward, sealing his lips over hers.
Rukia stills instantly, eyes flying open in surprise as chaotic violets finally meet honey amber.
When they part, eyes still on each other, Rukia's expression morphs in inconsolable anguish. So close to each other, Ichigo sees it all, her fall from grace: in the way the light dies in her eyes, the way her brows crease severely, the way the lines around her eyes sink further into her skin, the way the bottom of her lips glisten, wet from his kiss, and quiver. Tormented, Ichigo tucks her further into his arms while trying to erase her expression from his mind before his heart is crushed against it.
Nestled against chest, with her breath against his neck, Rukia mouths apologies into Ichigo's skin. Ichigo's only reply is to hold her even tighter like the vice around his heart, suffocating him and rendering him broken.
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