heaven knows you're lying

Eva Byers / 30 / funeral director / hairdresser

[eva-byers-blog]

yalejacobson‌:

and that’s all she wrote. 

I should have seen it coming, considering that I left my job about a month and a half ago and promised to still deliver consistent content while somehow being 800 miles away from the city I was supposed to be writing about. But I got the official call today - yours truly is once more, unemployed.

My boss was about as nice as he could be about it - promised to give me a rec when/if I return to the city and all that - but they can’t keep someone on the payroll who’s currently living in Nebraska with no official return date. I can’t really blame them, as annoying as it sounds, but if anyone’s got any leads on a need for an investigative reporter, hit me up. 

Maybe I’ll give blogging a try or something.

Damn, I’m really sorry to hear that, Yale.

If we get any dodgy looking deaths you’ll be the first person I tell, promise.

[eva-byers-blog]

noelashford‌:

I’m not religious and I’ve never had any big religious influences in my life, but I have to admit that The Story of Hanukkah is actually pretty touching. A lot of hope and trust and I feel more holiday vibes out of that than I do the whole Santa and commercials thing. 

Plus the… sugarynots? suganiyot? Very good. Very into that.

And what, pray tell, has inspired your sudden interest in the Jewish faith?

[eva-byers-blog]

alexandervalesquez‌:

After having to see The Grinch, I’ve got a lot to say about it. This is the second remake of How The Grinch Stole Christmas that I’ve seen and I still don’t think anything’s better than the original. Say what you want but the live action movie has nothing on the original. My kids don’t seem to get that. No other Christmas movie even beats The Grinch.

Um excuse me, but you’ve clearly never seen The Holiday.

[eva-byers-blog]

winteresposito‌:

“Huh, okay, well that’s definitely different. I guess people wear a lot of hats in this town?” 

Eh, I guess most people just have the one job- I just like to keep busy. The funeral director business was started by my parents and they handed it down to me when they retired- I like the work, as much as you can like that sort of thing. But the hours are unpredictable and I’m a woman of many interests, hence the hairdressing.

[eva-byers-blog]

colettejacobson‌:

I think you just might be the most well-adjusted person in Braedon, thirty or not.

You’ve never seen the state I can be in after a bottle of rose and a rom com, clearly.

[eva-byers-blog]

dexterlevski‌:

Don’t I know it, Byers.

Have you gotten into the holiday spirit yet? Ready to spend a whole month participating in festivities and avoiding giant elephants in every room?

More like holiday spirits. At least my folks are spending the season in Florida so I won’t be subjected to my mums terrible Christmas dinner.

[eva-byers-blog]

kelskrellin‌:

Those are a bonus.

I’ll allow that, because if I got too egotistical I’d overpower you.

[eva-byers-blog]

noelashford‌:

I guess a trim wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I did get invited to a thing.

I knew you’d see sense in the end. A thing, huh? Well when you swing by for that trim you’ll have to tell me all about it.

[eva-byers-blog]

colettejacobson‌:

That must be nice if only the rest of us could drum up a little of that surety…might make decision making a little easier.

‘Hah, I’m thirty, I’m supposed to be sure by now. Don’t worry love, you’ve got more than enough time.

[eva-byers-blog]

Holiday Cheer | open f2f

Eva was used to her job. That did not mean it was always easy. Especially around the holidays when everything was supposed to be fun cheer fun. Shops advertising winter sales, bars tempting you to book a table for your Christmas party, salons screaming at you to get cute themed nail decals. And Eva, replacing the blood of a ten year old with embalming fluid.

No matter the season her work was the same, no holiday perks. It was draining, and even worse this year she was alone, her parents electing to remain in Florida for the festive season with a few of their senior friends. Christmas alone in a funeral parlor sounded like the start of a bad hallmark movie. Eva didn’t want to be a Grinch, it didn’t suit her.

So she’d donned some sparkly get up and headed to Dexter’s bar, hoping a familiar face or two might be out for some festive drinks and she could tag along, boost her spirits a bit.

Eva hopped onto a barstool and flagged down a bartender- Dex would probably be too busy to play host to her, but she understood. She ordered a whiskey coke, and two jager bombs, downing one and saving the other for the first person who caught her eye. “Have a drink with me.” She offered, without even checking who it was- this was Braedon, she probably knew them anyway. “’Tis the season, and all that.”

[eva-byers-blog]

dexterlevski‌:

If the lovely townsfolk of Braedon are feeling frisky, I’ve come up with a little Hanukkah-themed cocktail list at Hard Times. I know most of us are Christmas celebrators, but the holidays are when we come together. ‘Tis the reason for the season, y’all. And what better way to do it than with alcohol?

I’m always frisky, Levski.

[eva-byers-blog]

kelskrellin‌:

See, this is why you’re my favorite.

You mean it’s not my wit, charm, and gorgeousness?

[eva-byers-blog]

noelashford‌:

Are you trying to tell me my hair looks and smells like shit?

No, I’m trying to say it will if you don’t look after it properly.

[eva-byers-blog]

colettejacobson‌:

If you had you wouldn’t be the first sensible person to lose your head a little over her Jacobson charms. You don’t?  I thought it was like a rite of passage to wanna leave this place in the dust for everyone who grows up here.

Mmm, but I’m too old to be falling for girls who aren’t interested in girls, so leave off. She’s just a friend. No, I don’t. I have friends and a business and a home here, I like my life.

[eva-byers-blog]

winteresposito‌:

What do you moonlight as a funeral director too? I’m kidding. Where else do you work?

Technically I moonlight as a hairdresser, because funeral director is my official job title. I own the place and converted the old downstairs living room into a salon so I could cut hair too.

[eva-byers-blog]

kelskrellin‌:

True life: I’m addicted to eating too much bread and then feeling the need to spend a zillion hours in the gym.

I want to say that it’s a problem, but like, bread, you know?

I mean life is all about balance, right? So as long as you’re putting in the work out hours to make up for it eat whatever the fuck you fancy.

[daphnereynolds]

f2f → OPEN

[eva-byers-blog]

jesshxlpert‌:

Bless, Eva. She knew what she was trying to do, she just wanted to make sure the girl got home safe. Which Jess alluded to her experience with the dead. Still, the blonde was seriously buzzed and barely filtered as it was. 

“Why would I want that?” she questioned, as if the older girl was insinuating something that was untrue. It was a dick move - she knew she was busted and the girl was just trying to help out but that was Jess these days. Cold as ice. 

Sweeping up her keys, she shrugged - was it possible she could stop being such a bitch to those around her? Probably not. Could she at least make the effort when she had booze in her system? Maybe. “Thanks for the offer but i’m genuinely not sure where I’m going yet.” she admitted before doing a scan of the items in the girls arms. “Late night cravings?”

Eva dealt with emotional outbursts every day. There weren’t many people a grieving mother could curse out, that a scared and lonely fiance could cry too. She’d learned to talk all sorts of harsh words on the chin, able to maintain a professional air through the worst kinds of abuse that those who’d just lost a part of themselves could throw at you.

True, they weren’t at work. Eva didn’t have to be professional. But Jess wasn’t herself right now and even the most obtuse person could tell you why. Losing a sister was a blow like no other. She’d had a friend a long time ago who’d felt like one. Arranging her funeral, having to be an assistant before she could be a grieving friend. It was the worst moment of her teenage life.

So Eva didn’t flinch at the coolness of her voice, the question. “I don’t mind an aimless drive for a while.” She offered again with a shrug, laughing a little at the assumption about her shopping. “Just some stuff for breakfast in the morning, I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the time for a proper food shop.” 

She shuffled her feet for a moment, reluctant to leave the scene. “At least let me keep you company for a while. I won’t have you driving right now, it’s not safe.”