[gffa]

–From a Certain Point of View, ”An Incident Report" by Mallory Ortberg “It must, however, be pointed out that at present the number of planets destroyed solely by the unaided power of the Force is zero.” MOTTI JUST DRAGGED THE FUCK OUT OF VADER I AM FUCKING LIVING

[gffa]

“I imagine Lord Vader would have had to stand very close to the planet Alderaan indeed today if he wanted to demonstrate how thoroughly his Force-wielding abilities outmatch the Death Star.” THIS ASSHOLE IS GOING TO DIE, BUT IT WILL BE IN SERVICE OF THE MOST GLORIOUS DRAGGING OF VADER I HAVE EVER SEEN.

[gffa]

“I merely spoke the truth: Lord Vader’s devotion to a nearly extinct faith has not resulted in the recovery of the stolen data tapes, nor has it given him insight into the rebels’ secret base, nor has he ever destroyed a planet.” “He found my lack of faith disturbing?  I have never claimed to be an adherent to his sect.  I found his lack of faith in this military installation disturbing.” MOTTI IS GOING TO FUCKING DIE IN A SPACE DITCH WHERE VADER DUMPS HIS BODY BUT HOLY SHIT HE WENT OUT LIKE A GODDAMNED LEGEND

[saberwriter]

So, I’m curious now. What would an incident report form look like in The Empire? I mean, is there a section for ‘Force Choked by Vader’?

This is a bureaucarcy, so there would have to be some form of paperwork done whenever Vader gets all sandy in someone’s grille, after all.

[gffa]

I AM LEGIT LOLLING RIGHT NOW. There’s another story about how the Empire has a logistics officer (Arvira from “The Sith of Datawork”) and they would find clever ways to help people get around trouble (in this case, for not firing on the life pods that had the droids in them because they had no life signs in them) and how hilarious some of the paperwork was. YOU KNOW THEY HAVE A SPECIAL LOGISTICS OFFICER JUST FOR PEOPLE MAKING REPORTS ABOUT DARTH VADER.  Someone who had to go talk to Darth Vader and as him to please stop choking people, they were very hard to replace an– URKKKK NO WAIT [WHEEZE] IT’S FINE [GASP] CARRY ON, LORD VADER, LONG [RASPING BREATH] LIVE THE EMPIRE. And then had to go back and shred the report that was turned in and probably buy some space muffins for Motti because, sorry, sir, but you’re just going to have to deal with it, please try not to make Lord Vader mad anymore. Also you know they only have that position because Sheev got tired of hearing Krennic complain about it for, like, FIVE YEARS STRAIGHT about how Lord Vader was mean to him when he was just trying to do his job and help the project!  (IMAGINE SHEEV’S FACE HAVING TO DEAL WITH EVERY TIME KRENNIC COMPLAINED ABOUT VADER.)

[chiakinanami-deactivated2018122]

"we the jury find the defendant not valid”

[andreablog2-deactivated20220425]

Pale people cant wear adidias jackets without looking like they look like they huff gasoline in czechoslovakia

[sapphicpositivity]

So when I was 16 I was in a theatre class & I was partnered with this boy for a kissing scene & I didn’t like him at all but I was Totally Straight ™ he just wasn’t my type and I didn’t want my first kiss to be with him and that’s obviously why I literally threw up at the thought of having to kiss him! I mean, who doesn’t throw up at the prospect of their first kiss with a boy! Anyways, my friend (who I def had a crush looking back on it) said she’d teach me how to stage kiss! And for a stage kiss one person cups the other’s face but puts their thumb on the other’s lips and then they “kiss” the thumb. So she cupped my face & put her thumb on my lips & then as she went in for the “kiss”,,,, my knees actually fuckin,,,, buckled underneath me,,,, like just the thought of (stage) kissing this girl caused me to physically become light headed and fall over, but I was def straight! Only into boys obviously! Never would wanna date a girl! And I played it off as having low blood sugar & being stressed but I’m all reality I was just gay & stupid

[incorrecttrcquotes]

Blue: You can kiss a ghost.

Calla: I suppose you’d know.

Blue: I do know. It’s just like kissing a person.

Calla: Now, that’s something you wouldn't know.

[bloodytales]

My 4 year old nephew loves to paint his nails. Any time he sees someone wear nail polish he asks if he can have some too. The most difficult part is getting him to decide what color, because he he wants all of them.

Nail polish is for everyone.

[bloodytales]

Update!!

The kid’s favorite football player responded with support.

[finninsanelycoolish-deactivated]

THISSSSS

[jayiisnthome]

you gave your game to kevin. give your back to me.

[rubyvroom]

Can I watch a great film knowing the actresses in it were terrorized and mistreated the entire time? Can I watch a football game knowing that the players are getting brain injuries right before my eyes? Can I listen to my favorite albums anymore knowing that the singers were all beating their wives in between studio sessions? Can I eat at the new fancy taco place knowing when the building that used to be there got bulldozed eight families got kicked out of their homes so they could be replaced with condos and a chain restaurant? Can I wear the affordable clothes I bought downtown that were probably assembled in a sweatshop with child labor? Can I eat quinoa? Can I eat this burger? Can I drink this bottled water? Can I buy a car and drive to work because I’m sick of taking an hour each way on the subway? Whose bones do I stand on? Whose bones am I standing on right now? 

[moniquill]

[dearydeerling-deactivated201904]

On one hand, it’s a privilege to be able to choose to acknowledge these horrors or not–we’re going to acknowledge that privilege. On the other hand, I once attended a lecture by the explorerer-conservationist Jacques-Yves Cousteau’s daughter and son and they had a lot of opinions about what we could do to help the environment and the ocean and I talked about how in my country, we have to drink bottled water, because it’s a desert and there’s only salt water all around, but we’re contributing to pollution and all of these things…

And she looked at me and told me not to fall into the trap of “activist guilt.” I couldn’t remember the exact words, but, it was the first time I’d heard the term and it took a weight off my shoulders.

We do what we can. It’s so much better than giving up entirely or not doing anything at all because we can’t do it perfectly. It doesn’t benefit anyone in the end if we just sit around feeling guilty about every little thing in life. I’d just joined tumblr back then (haha, so like, eight or nine years ago at this point?), I was being exposed to way more than I’d ever been before (I was previously just into feminism and animal rights/wildlife conservation/environmentalism since I was a kid), and it was weighing on me.

As long as humans are humans and living flawed lives, many consumed by greed, there will not be anything in this world untouched by evil.

I usually avoid stuff that says it was made in China or other cheap looking knockoffs, out of fear of them being made in sweatshops (now, I know even a lot of big brands use those…), it’s exhausting. Then, I read something about how people who actually lived and worked in those would still buy this cheap stuff and how this shocked the foreigner reporting on it, but they just looked confused like, it’s what they can afford and them avoiding consuming it isn’t going to change the whole system from the ground-up.

… it went on about how “money talks” and choosing where to put your money still feeds the whole capitalist system and is nearly a way of comforting yourself, but you not buying doesn’t mean everyone else isn’t. What needs to be tackled is at a much higher level than any of us can reach.

Of course, I’d still, given the choice, give my money to companies I agree with and I’ll boycott what I know to support awful stuff, but I also feel no superiority over this and know now it’s not as black and white or easy as I thought it was.

This is the same reason that moral purity “you can’t enjoy [x] because it’s Problematic ™” is such nonsense, because nothing is pure. There’s something bad about everything if you dig deep enough. As long as we lived in flawed human societies we’ve got to make the best of what they offer us. If you have the choice and means, please, do support those who do good, but also, don’t beat yourself up over not living up to an unattainable ideal.

No one can. You’ll just make yourself so miserable, you either burn up and stop fighting entirely or you’ll make yourself a non-productive, depressed heap just out of a bleeding heart left unchecked. You can’t make a change to this world if you refuse to engage in it.

Have a related article with self-care tips for activists.

[catvincent]

Purity is one of the worst, most harmful myths humans ever invented.

[dyrwoodan]

so i’ve installed this mod “skyrim is windy” which makes the foliage wiggle in the breeze more. but then i didn’t play the game because sometimes i just install a bunch of mods and move on to something else without trying them out. anyways. so then i went out to buy some food and i saw the wind playing with the tree branches and i legit thought “oh so the mod is working nicely” i made a few more steps before i realized…… yea scoob this is real life

[bosmer-bitch]

ok this was me when i dropped a meat pie in the kitchen at 2am and for a solid 0.4 seconds i thought “it’s ok i’ll just load my quicksave”

[scribdyke-remade]

are y’all ok

[fight-me-fool718-deactivated201]

no

[scribdyke-remade]

understandable have a nice day

[tjmystic]

So, when I was doing my thesis on whether or not fanfiction should be considered a legitimate genre of literature, my advising professor asked me for examples.  I gave him the generic ones, of course - “Pride & Prejudice and Zombies” is a horror fanfic of “Pride & Prejudice”, “50 Shades of Grey” is an erotica fic of “Twilight" - and that seemed to make him understand what fanfiction is, but not how it’s useful.  So I thought about it, and, after about a minute, I said, “Paradise Lost is basically a fanfiction of the Book of Genesis.  And The Divine Comedy is an epic self-insertion fic for Catholic doctrine.  So, basically, you were teaching us fanfiction last semester.”  I had never before seen a grown man’s eyes widen with such fear, incomprehension, disgust, awe, and understanding.

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

#does that mean the renaissance was almost entirely fan art?

Yes. Yes it does. All ur classic favs had the Renaissance version of DeviantArt. 

[anais-ninja-bitch]

l i s t e n

[s-leary]

If you really want to drop that guy down the rabbit hole, ask him which Arthurian legend is canon and which are the AUs.

[solarcitrus]

CAUSE I SERIOUSLY NEEDED SOMETHING LIKE THIS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU GUYS. Don’t forget that drinking plenty of water and tea, eating a healthy diet and daily exercise will make a HUGE difference with your complexion.  Touching your face frequently is also a big no-no.  Everyone’s skin is different, so experiment with your own treatment routines and find what best suits you!!  I think this is a topic that’s almost taboo to talk about, but everyone has it, so we might as well help each other out with what we’ve found successful, right!?

[mika-monster]

an actual helpful guide for acne, plus its actually really adorable

[souldew]

me: hi how are y

cumstomer:

‪I‬ WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A RETURN

[thehomeofalostchild]

I see so many people complaining about this online but why.. do you even ask that???? like neither one of us wants to be talking to the other. we both just want to get this over with. and you don’t even care how I am so it’s not a genuine question. You know fully well I’m not going to tell you how I am unless you are my friend, I’m just going to say good/fine. it makes no sense to ask strangers that question and does not do any good for people who are socially awkward or just like,, didn’t hear what you said and now have to try guess and that’s a lot of unnecessary stress

[souldew]

[youthoughtiwasasleepdidntyou]

[meyhew]

[unclefather]

[drarry]

someone once messaged me to let me know that Hannibal and Will’s age gap was problematic and I was just sitting there like…. Really…. that’s your first and most pressing issue with Hannigram, Really

[oldwitchsleep]

they’re cannibals, susan

[manicheen]

im yelling

[debbie-sketch]

“You’re a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant. But scary”